Ngezinye izikhathi kuba nezinkinga ezinkulu emindenini, akunjalo? Ikakhulukazi lapho umyeni eshona, noma lapho umbhangqwana uhlukana, kuba nokungavumelani ngobuhlobo bezingane nogogo nomkhulu. Umama ufuna indlela eyodwa, ogogo nomkhulu bafuna enye. Izingane ziyalahleka phakathi nale ngxabano. Empeleni lesi yisihloko esibucayi kakhulu. Namuhla sikhuluma ngendaba ethinta imindeni eminingi efana nale, kodwa asikhulumi kakhulu ngayo.
Indaba yengxabano yomndeni eya enkantolo
Ukuze siqonde le ndaba, ake sithathe indaba eyiqiniso eyenzeka eMelika njengesibonelo. Leli yicala elaqhubeka laze lafika enkantolo ephakeme kakhulu ezweni.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi kwakukhona ogogo nomkhulu, uGary noJennifer. Ngemva kokulahlekelwa yindodana yabo, babefuna ukubona abazukulu babo ababili ngamaholide nangezimpelasonto, ukuze bachithe isikhathi nabo. Leso kwakuyisicelo esinengqondo kakhulu, akunjalo?
Ngakolunye uhlangothi kwakukhona unina wabantwana, uTommy. Umlingani wakhe, uyise wabantwana, wayesezibulele. Manje wayesefuna ukuqala impilo entsha futhi adale umndeni omusha wezingane zakhe ezimbili. Washada futhi, kwathi lapho yena nomyeni wakhe omusha beba nezingane zabo, umndeni wakhula kakhulu.
Inkinga yaqala lapha. Ubaba wezingane wayeshone ngenxa yokucindezeleka okungapheli. Ngemva kokushona kwakhe, unina kaTommy wanciphisa kancane kancane inani lezikhathi yena nogogo nomkhulu wakhe abavakashela ngazo izingane. Wathi ufuna ukumvumela aqale umndeni omusha. Kodwa ogogo nomkhulu babengakufuni lokho. Babefuna ukuba ndawonye nezingane njengakuqala.
Le nkinga yanda kancane kancane. Ngisho nezinto ezincane zaba yizimpikiswano ezinkulu. Ekugcineni, ogogo nomkhulu bafaka icala enkantolo, befuna ilungelo lokubona abazukulu babo. Leli cala laqhubeka iminyaka.
Lokhu kufana kakhulu nodaba lomndeni kunokuba kube udaba lomthetho. Ukuya enkantolo ukuze wenze isinqumo esinjengalesi kusho ukuthi umndeni usuvele usenkingeni enkulu.
Iyiphi inkinga ejulile ngempela lapha?
Sibona izinhlangothi ezimbili kule ndaba.
1. Amalungelo abazali: Uma nje ingane ingalinyazwa, umuntu angaphazamisa kangakanani ilungelo labazali lokukhulisa leyo ngane futhi enze izinqumo ngomntwana?
2. Inhlalakahle yengane: Izibopho zengane nogogo nomkhulu kanye nezingane zakubo zibaluleke kakhulu. Ukulondoloza lezo zibopho kubaluleke kakhulu ekukhuleni kwengqondo yengane.
Kalula nje, umbuzo uwukuthi la malungelo amabili angalinganiswa kanjani. Umama unelungelo lokwenza izinqumo ngabantwana bakhe. Futhi, ogogo nomkhulu bayingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu empilweni yengane. Uma kukhona ukungqubuzana phakathi kwalaba ababili, izingane ezingenacala yizo ezingakwazi ukuzisiza futhi ezicindezelekile ngokwengqondo.
Lezi zingxabano zithinta kanjani izingane?
Ngokuvamile asicabangi ukuthi izingxabano zabantu abadala zingalimaza kangakanani izinhliziyo zezingane. Ukuvikela ingane ezinkingeni zabantu abadala kungabathinta impilo yayo yonke.
Bheka ithebula elingezansi ukuze ubone ukuthi lezi zinto zithinta kanjani izingane.
| Ukuziphatha Kwabantu Abadala | Umthelela Ongaba Khona Enganeni |
|---|---|
| Ukusola nokulwa bodwa phambi kwengane. | Ingane izizwa ingavikelekile . Ikhathazekile ngengqondo ngoba ayikwazi ukunquma ukuthi izothatha uhlangothi luni. |
| Iqembu elilodwa lisho izinto ezimbi enganeni ngomunye umuntu (isib., "Ugogo wakho akalungile" noma "Umama wakho akasivumeli ukuba size"). | Ukulahlekelwa ukwethemba abantu abadala. Ukunamathelana phakathi kwabantu ababili obathandayo. |
| Ukusebenzisa ingane ukuhlola noma ukuthumela imiyalezo ("ukubuza ukuthi kwenzekeni endlini kagogo"). | Ingane ingaphansi kokucindezeleka okukhulu kwengqondo . Bayazisola, becabanga ukuthi lezi zinkinga ziyimbangela yazo. |
| Ukuzama ukuzuza ingane eceleni kwakho ngokuyipha izipho noma ukwenza ezinye izinto. | Ingane ifunda ukuthi uthando nothando kunemibandela. Lokhu kungathinta nobudlelwano besikhathi esizayo. |
Izinguquko ekuziphatheni kwengane
Ungabona izinguquko ezithile ekuziphatheni kwezingane ezingaphansi kwalolu hlobo lwengcindezi.
- Kungazelelwe wathukuthela.
- Ngithule futhi ngidabukile kakhulu kunangaphambili.
- Ngiyesaba lapho ngilele bese ngivuka ebuthongweni.
- Intshisekelo emsebenzini wesikole iyancipha.
- Izimpawu zomzimba ezifana nobuhlungu besisu kanye nekhanda elibuhlungu ziyaboniswa.
Uma umntwana ebonisa izimpawu ezinjalo, kufanele nakanjani ukhathazeke.
Ngakho-ke, iyini ikhambi?
Ukuya enkantolo noma ukuya enkantolo kufanele kube yindlela yokugcina. Ngaphambi kwalokho, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuzama ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga njengomndeni.
- Beka izintshisekelo zengane kuqala: Khumbula, impilo yengqondo yengane yakho ibaluleke kakhulu kunentukuthelo noma ukungavumelani kwakho. Ngaphambi kokwenza noma yisiphi isinqumo, cabanga kabili ngokuthi "Lokhu kuzoyithinta kanjani ingane yami/umzukulu wami?"
- Yibani nengxoxo ezolile: Hlanganani lapho izingane zingekho, endaweni lapho bobabili abathintekayo bengaxoxa khona ngokuthula. Khulumani ngobuqotho ngemizwa yenu nezidingo zenu ngaphandle kokusolana. Yithi, "Nansi indlela engizizwa ngayo," esikhundleni sokusola, "Nansi indlela enizenza ngayo izinto."
- Qonda futhi uhloniphe imingcele: Abazali banelungelo lokwenza izinqumo zokugcina ngengane yabo. Ogogo nomkhulu kufanele bahloniphe lowo mngcele. Futhi, abazali kufanele baqonde ukuthi ogogo nomkhulu ababona abantu abangasuswa empilweni yengane, kodwa uthando lwabo lubalulekile nakumntwana.
- Finyelela esivumelwaneni esifanayo: Kungase kudingeke ukuvumelana kuzo zombili izinhlangothi. Kungaba usizo kakhulu uma ungaqhamuka nento efana nohlelo lwezinsuku nezikhathi zokuvakashela ingane. Uma wonke umuntu evumelana ngalokho, kuzoba nezinkinga ezimbalwa kakhulu.
- Funa iseluleko sochwepheshe: Uma ukuthola kunzima ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga wedwa, ungabi namahloni okufuna usizo lwangaphandle. Ungacela usizo kumeluleki womndeni . Noma, khuluma nodokotela wakho omethembayo ngokucindezeleka okubangelwa yilezi zinkinga zomndeni. Uzokwazi ukukunikeza isiqondiso esifanele.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Kuvamile ukuba nokungezwani nezingxabano emndenini, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi sibhekana kanjani nazo.
- Ungalokothi usebenzise izingane njengezikhali ezimpini zabantu abadala. Hlala ubeka impilo-mpilo yazo yengqondo kanye nokuphepha kwazo kuqala.
- Isixazululo esingcono kakhulu sezingxabano eziningi zomndeni ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile, ngenhlonipho, nangokuzola.
- Uma ungakwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga wedwa, ungalokothi unqikaze ukufuna iseluleko kumeluleki womndeni noma kudokotela wakho. Ukucela usizo ukuze kuzuze ingane yakho kuwuphawu lwamandla.
💬 Comments (0)
Awekho amazwana athunyelwe okwamanje. Faka amazwana akho lapha okokuqala ngqa.
Engeza amazwana akho