Izingane Ezibanjwe Phakathi: Ukubhekana Nezingxabano Zomndeni Nokuvikela Inhlalakahle

Izingane Ezibanjwe Phakathi: Ukubhekana Nezingxabano Zomndeni Nokuvikela Inhlalakahle

Physician Reviewed — Not Medical Advice

Ngezinye izikhathi, kuvela izingxabano ezinkulu emindenini, akunjalo? Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi ngemva kokushonelwa, isehlukaniso, noma lapho kuvela ukungavumelani mayelana nendima yogogo nomkhulu. Umzali angase abe nendlela eyodwa yokukhulisa ingane, kanti ogogo nomkhulu bangase babe nenye. Njengoba bebanjwe phakathi nale ngxabano, izingane zivame ukuzizwa zilahlekile futhi zididekile. Lesi yisihloko esibucayi kakhulu, futhi namuhla, sikhuluma ngendaba evamile kodwa engavamile ukuxoxwa ngayo ethinta imindeni eminingi.

Indaba Yengxabano Yomndeni Eboshwe Enkantolo

Ukuze sikuqonde kangcono lokhu, ake sibheke icala langempela elivela e-United States elafinyelela enkantolo ephakeme kakhulu ezweni.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi kwakukhona uGary noJennifer, iqembu logogo nomkhulu ababefuna ukuvakashela abazukulu babo futhi bachithe isikhathi nabo ngamaholide nangezimpelasonto. Isicelo esinengqondo kakhulu, akunjalo?

Ngakolunye uhlangothi kwakukhona uTommy, unina wabantwana. Umlingani wakhe—uyise wabantwana—wayeshone kabuhlungu ngokuzibulala. Wayefuna ukuqala isahluko esisha, akhe impilo entsha, futhi ahlinzekele abantwana bakhe ababili ikhaya elizinzile. Washada futhi, umndeni wakhula njengoba yena nomlingani wakhe omusha behlanganisa izingane zabo ndawonye.

Ingxabano yaqala lapho. Ubaba wezingane wayehlushwa ukucindezeleka okungapheli. Ngemva kokushona kwakhe, uTommy waqala ukunciphisa isikhathi ugogo nomkhulu ababesichitha nezingane, echaza ukuthi udinga isikhala sokwakha umndeni wakhe omusha. Nokho, ogogo nomkhulu bamelana nalokhu, befisa ukugcina izinga labo lokuxhumana langaphambilini.

Isimo sanda kakhulu. Ukungezwani okuncane kwaphenduka izingxabano ezinkulu. Ekugcineni, ogogo nomkhulu bayisa udaba enkantolo ukuze bafune amalungelo okuvakasha. Impi yezomthetho yaqhubeka iminyaka eminingi.

Lokhu akuyona inkinga yezomthetho kodwa kuwumzabalazo omkhulu nezindlela zomndeni. Uma umndeni kufanele uye enkantolo ukuze uxazulule izinqumo ezinjalo, kuyisibonakaliso esicacile sokuthi umndeni usuvele ucindezelekile kakhulu.

Iyini Inkinga Eyinhloko Lapha?

Singabona izinhlangothi ezimbili kule ndaba.

1. Amalungelo Abazali: Uma nje ingane iphephile, kungakanani ukuphazanyiswa kwangaphandle okufanele kuvunyelwe elungelweni lomzali lokukhulisa izingane zakhe nokwenza izinqumo zazo?

2. Intshisekelo Engcono Kakhulu Yomntwana: Isibopho ingane enaso nogogo nomkhulu wayo kanye nomndeni omkhulu sibaluleke kakhulu. Ukukhulisa lobo budlelwano kubalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kwengqondo kwengane.

Kalula nje, inkinga iwukuthi la malungelo amabili angalinganiswa kanjani. Umama unelungelo lokwenza izinqumo zezingane zakhe, kodwa ogogo nomkhulu nabo bayingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwengane. Lapho lokhu kushayisana, izingane ezingenacala yizo ezihlupheka kakhulu futhi zizwe ingcindezi enkulu yengqondo.

Lezi Zingxabano Zibathinta Kanjani Abantwana?

Sivame ukungawunaki umonakalo odalwe yizingxabano zabantu abadala ezinganeni. Ukusebenzisa ingane njengesibambiso ezingxabanweni zabantu abadala kungaba nemiphumela yempilo yonke.

Bheka ithebula elingezansi ukuze uqonde ukuthi lezi zinguquko zithinta kanjani izingane.

Ukuziphatha Kwabantu Abadala Umthelela Ongaba Khona Enganeni
Ukusolana nokuphikisana phambi kwengane. Ingane izizwa ingaphephile . Ibhekana nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ingazi ukuthi kufanele ithathe uhlangothi lukabani.
Ukukhuluma kabi ngomuntu oyedwa enganeni (isib., "Ugogo wakho akalungile," noma "Umama wakho akasivumeli ukuba sivakashe"). Ukulahlekelwa ukwethemba abantu abadala. Ingane izizwa ivaleleke phakathi kwabantu ababili ebathandayo.
Ukusebenzisa ingane ukuhlola noma ukuhambisa imiyalezo (isib., ukubuza, "Kwenzekeni endlini kagogo?"). Ingane ibhekana nokucindezeleka okukhulu kwengqondo futhi ingase izisole yona ngenxa yokungezwani.
Ukuzama ukuzuza ukwethembeka kwengane ngezipho noma umusa okhethekile. Ingane ifunda ukuthi uthando nothando kunemibandela, okungaba nomthelela omubi ebudlelwaneni bayo besikhathi esizayo.

Izinguquko Ekuziphatheni Kwengane

Ungase uqaphele izinguquko ezithile zokuziphatha ezinganeni ezingaphansi kwalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka:

  • Ukuqhuma kwentukuthelo okungazelelwe.
  • Ukuthula okungajwayelekile noma ukuzihlukanisa nobuntu nokubonisa izimpawu zokudabuka.
  • Ukuphazamiseka kokulala noma amaphupho amabi.
  • Ukuncipha kwesisusa somsebenzi wesikole.
  • Izimpawu zomzimba njengobuhlungu besisu noma ikhanda elibuhlungu .

Uma ingane yakho ibonisa lezi zimpawu, kufanele unake kakhulu.

Ngakho-ke, Iyini Isixazululo?

Isenzo sezomthetho noma inkantolo kufanele kube yindlela yokugcina. Kungcono kakhulu ukuzama ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga njengomndeni kuqala.

  • Beka phambili inhlalakahle yengane ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye: Khumbula, intukuthelo yakho kanye nezikhalo zakho akubalulekile njengempilo yengqondo yengane yakho. Uma wenza noma yisiphi isinqumo, yima kancane bese ubuza: "Lokhu kuzoyithinta kanjani ingane yami/umzukulu wami?"
  • Khulumani ngokuthula: Hlanganani endaweni engathathi hlangothi, ngaphandle kwezingane, lapho bobabili abathintekayo bengakhuluma khona ngokuthula. Esikhundleni sokusola, veza imizwa yakho nezidingo zakho ngokwethembeka. Sebenzisa izinkulumo ezithi "Ngiyazizwa" kunokusola abanye ngokuziphatha kwabo.
  • Qonda futhi uhloniphe imingcele: Abazali banelungelo lokwenza izinqumo zokugcina ngezingane zabo. Ogogo nomkhulu kufanele bahloniphe le mingcele. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abazali kufanele baqaphele ukuthi ogogo nomkhulu abayona into engathathelwa indawo; uthando lwabo lubalulekile enganeni.
  • Finyelela esivumelwaneni: Bobabili abantu kungase kudingeke bavumelane. Ukudala isimiso sokuvakasha kungaba usizo kakhulu. Uma wonke umuntu evuma, ingxabano iyancipha kakhulu.

Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya

  • Kuvamile ukuthi imindeni ibe nokungezwani. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ukusingatha kanjani.
  • Ungalokothi usebenzise izingane njengesikhali ezimpini zabantu abadala. Hlala ubeka phambili inhlalakahle yazo engokomzwelo kanye nokuphepha kwazo.
  • Isixazululo esingcono kakhulu sezingxabano eziningi zomndeni ukukhulumisana okuvulekile, okunenhlonipho, nokuzolile.
  • Uma ungakwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga wedwa, ungalokothi unqikaze ukufuna iseluleko kumeluleki womndeni noma kudokotela wakho. Ukucela usizo ngenxa yengane yakho kuwuphawu lwamandla.

Ingxabano yomndeni, impilo yengqondo yezingane, ogogo nomkhulu, abazukulu, amalungelo abazali, ukwelulekwa komndeni, ingxabano yomndeni, isayensi yezengqondo yezingane, amalungelo ogogo nomkhulu, imizwa yomndeni, ukukhulisa izingane