Ingabe nawe uzizwa uthwele kanzima, ucindezelekile, noma ucindezelekile? Ake sixoxe ngalokhu!

Ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa umthwalo omkhulu, ingcindezi, noma njengoba sonke sikubiza kanjalo, 'ukucindezeleka'? Empeleni kuyinto evamile kakhulu ukuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela. Hhayi wena wedwa, kodwa nezingane ezincane, intsha, abantu abadala, sonke sizwa lokhu kucindezeleka kwengqondo ngezikhathi ezithile ekuphileni kwethu. Kodwa kukhona into ebaluleke kakhulu ongase ungayazi. Okusho ukuthi, lokhu kucindezeleka kwengqondo, noma ukucindezeleka, akukubi ngaso sonke isikhathi, kuyinto eyingozi kithi. Akumangalisi yini? Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kucindezeleka yiyona nto esisizayo.

Ungazivikela kanjani ekucindezelekeni?

Ungacabanga ukuthi lokhu kucindezeleka kungakusiza futhi ukukuvikela? Yebo, kuyiqiniso. Kalula nje, lapho ubuchopho bakho bubona ingozi noma ingozi ethile, buthumela ngokushesha 'isexwayiso' emzimbeni wakho nasengqondweni, isignali yokulungiselela. Yilokhu esikubiza ngokuthi ukucindezeleka kwengqondo noma ukucindezeleka.

Cabanga ngalokhu. Uwela umgwaqo. Kungazelelwe, ubona imoto iza kuwe ngesivinini esikhulu ijikeleza indawo egobile. Yilapho-ke ama-hormone okucindezeleka emzimbeni wakho evuselelwa khona. La ma-hormone akusiza ukuthi usabele ngokushesha kulowo mzuzu oyingozi. La ma-hormone okucindezeleka akunika amandla engeziwe, ukugxila okungcono, ikhono lokugxila, kanye nesivinini. Amehlo akho avuleka, akuvumela ukuthi ubone indawo okuzungezile kangcono. Ingqondo yakho iba bukhali futhi iqaphile. Ukunaka kwakho okugcwele kugxile engozini esondelayo. Inhliziyo yakho ishaya ngokushesha ngoba udinga ukuthumela umoya-mpilo owengeziwe emisipheni yakho. Izinga lakho lokuphefumula nalo liyakhula. Konke lokhu kwenzeka ngenxa 'yesexwayiso sokucindezeleka' umzimba wakho okunikeza sona. Yileyo ndlela obalekela ngayo leyo moto egijima ngesivinini, ubaleke, bese ufika endaweni ephephile. Kwanele, akunjalo?

Uma usufike endaweni ephephile, ubuchopho bakho buyacima 'isaziso sokucindezeleka'. Umzimba wakho nawo uyayeka ukukhiqiza lawo ma-'(ama-hormone okucindezeleka). Lapho la ma-hormone eyeka ukugeleza, umzimba wakho nengqondo yakho kubuyela esimweni esijwayelekile, esingenakucindezeleka. Uzola. Bese ubheka macala womabili bese uwela umgwaqo ngokucophelela.

Elinye igama lale mpendulo yokulungela ngokushesha emzimbeni wakho 'impendulo yokulwa-ukubaleka-noma-ukuqandisa' . Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ukucindezeleka kukulungiselela ukuthi ubhekane nenkinga (ukulwa), ukuyibalekela (ukubaleka), noma ukuyiqandisa uma ungakwazi ukwenza lutho ngayo. Lena indlela yemvelo yokuzivikela esisiza ukuba sisinde.

Ukucindezeleka kungakusiza kanjani ukuthi ubhekane nesenzakalo esikhulu nesibalulekile?

Cabanga ukuthi kufanele uhlanganyele emncintiswaneni wezemidlalo wesikole, noma kufanele ube seqenjini, mhlawumbe kufanele ucule ingoma esiteji, udlale umdanso, noma unikeze inkulumo phambi kwekilasi. Lezi zinto azisongeli impilo njengokugxuma ebhulohweni. Kodwa izikhathi ezinjengalezi zingasilethela ingcindezi enkulu, 'ukucindezeleka' okukhulu. Kumelwe ukuba nawe wazizwa ngendlela efanayo, akunjalo?

Ezikhathini ezinjengalezi, ukushaya kwenhliziyo yakho kungakhuphuka ngenxa "yama-hormone okucindezeleka" ashiwo ngenhla. Ungase uzizwe sengathi izandla nemilenze yakho iqala ukuthuthumela. Ungase uzizwe sengathi izimvemvane ziyandiza esiswini sakho, noma into engavamile. Ngezinye izikhathi sikubiza ngokuthi 'ubuhlungu besisu.' Kodwa akudingeki wesabe noma uyeke lokho okwenzayo ngoba nje uzizwa lezi zimpawu zomzimba.

Zama ukubona lezi zinguquko zomzimba 'njengokukhulisa amandla.' Lokhu kuyisibonakaliso kuwe, 'Kulungile, manje lungela, gxila, qala ukusebenza.'

Cabanga ngakho njengokusho ukuthi 'Lungela... Hlela... Hamba!' ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukugijima. Yilokhu umzimba wakho okushoyo kuwe.

Uma uzizwa sengathi ingcindezi, noma ukucindezeleka, okuzwayo kukhulu kakhulu, zama lezi zinto:

• Phefumula kancane, ujule.
• Bese ukhipha umoya ngokuphelele.
• Zitshele ukuthi, "Ngingakwenza lokhu!"
• Beka eceleni okunye kokwesaba kwakho bese uqoqa isibindi sakho.
• Zicabange umi uqinile, izinyawo zakho zigxile phansi.
• Phefumula kancane futhi ngokujulile bese uwukhipha.
• Bese, bhekana naleyo nselele ngangokusemandleni akho.

Njengoba uqala ukubhekana nezinselele, uzothola ukuthi amazinga akho okucindezeleka ancipha kancane kancane. Nakuba ukubhekana nezinselele ezinkulu njengalezi kungaba yinto ekucindezelayo ekuqaleni, njengoba uzijwayela, uba nekhono lokubhekana nazo. Isikhathi ngasinye, amazinga akho okucindezeleka ayancipha futhi ukuzethemba kwakho kuyanda.

Indlela ukucindezeleka okukusiza ngayo ukulungiselela kangcono

Ake sithi unezivivinyo ezibalulekile, isivivinyo, noma umcimbi omkhulu ozayo ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezizayo. Kuvamile ukuzwa ingcindezi nokucindezeleka okuncane ngesikhathi esinjengaleso. Eqinisweni, kungaba yinto enhle. Wazi kanjani?

Lokhu kucindezeleka okuncane kukukhumbuza ukuthi, 'Kulungile, manje ngidinga ukufunda, ngidinga ukulungiselela lokhu, ngidinga ukuzijwayeza.' Cabanga ngakho, uma ubungenazo izinkathazo, ubungafunda kanzima? Ubungazijwayeza? Mhlawumbe akunjalo, akunjalo? Ngakho lokhu kucindezeleka okuncane kufana nokukucindezela okuncane. Uma ulungiselele kahle, ukucindezeleka okuzwayo lapho kufika usuku olukhulu kuncane kakhulu. Uzizwa unokuthula okukhulu, umuzwa wokuqiniseka, umuzwa wokuthi 'Ngikulungele lokhu.'

Kodwa nalapha futhi, kukhona okuthile okudingeka sikuqonde. Okusho ukuthi, kwenzekani uma lokhu kucindezeleka, noma ingcindezi, kuba kukhulu kakhulu. Uma uzizwa ucindezelekile kakhulu, ukwesaba, noma ukukhathazeka ngisho nalapho ucabanga ngokuhlolwa, kuyingozi kuwe. Ukucindezeleka okunjalo okweqile kungakwenza ugweme ukuzilungiselela. Ungase ucabange, 'O, angikwazi ukukwenza lokhu, kunzima kakhulu,' bese uyeka ukufunda nokuzijwayeza. Khona-ke ngeke ukwazi ukwenza kahle kakhulu.

Uma uhlala uzizwa wesaba, ukhathazekile, noma unezimvemvane esiswini sakho ucabanga nje ngento ezayo,Qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma nomuntu omdala omethembayo ngalokhu. Kungaba umama wakho, ubaba, uthisha, noma omunye umuntu omdala omethembayo. Bangakufundisa izindlela zokunciphisa lokhu kucindezeleka. Khona-ke uzokwazi ukubhekana nezivivinyo, izivivinyo, nanoma yiziphi izinselele ezinkulu empilweni kalula.

Yiziphi izinhlobo zokucindezeleka okufanele siziqaphele futhi siziqaphele?

Besikhuluma ngezinhlobo zokucindezeleka ezingaba usizo kithi ngandlela thile, noma ezizophela ngemva kwesikhashana. Kodwa kunezinhlobo ezithile zokucindezeleka ezibangela izinkinga zesikhathi eside okunzima kithi ukuzilawula. Kudingeka siqaphele kakhulu ngalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka.

Isibonelo, abanye abantu bayaxhashazwa esikoleni noma kwenye indawo. Abanye bangase bathintwe ukugula okungathi sína, ukulimala, noma ingozi embi enomthelela wesikhathi eside. Abanye abantwana bangase babe nabazali abahlukene noma babe nezingxabano nezingxabano ezingapheli ekhaya. Ukushona komuntu othandekayo, ukuhlukumezeka okungazelelwe, noma uhlobo oluthile lokuxhashazwa nakho kungabangela ukucindezeleka okweqile, kwesikhathi eside. Abanye abantu bangase bazizwe bengaphephile endaweni abakuyo, noma ukuthi akekho obamukelayo. Bangase futhi bacindezelwe ubudlova emndenini wabo, emphakathini, noma kwabezindaba.

Ukucindezeleka okubangelwa yilezi zizathu akupheli ngokushesha njengokucindezeleka okuphela ngemva kokuhlolwa noma umncintiswano. Okwenzekayo lapha ukuthi umzimba wakho uyaqhubeka nokukhipha lawo '(ama-hormone okucindezeleka)', ngisho noma emazingeni aphansi. Ngenxa yokuthi inkinga iyaqhubeka, ungase uzizwe ucindezelekile futhi ucindezelekile usuku lonke. Lokhu kuyakukhathaza kakhulu kokubili ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.

Khumbula, kungaba nzima ngawe ukubhekana nalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka kwesikhathi eside wedwa. Akulona iphutha lakho.

Ukuze ususe lolu hlobo lokucindezeleka, udinga ukwesekwa nakanjani. Futhi, udinga usizo ekuxazululeni inkinga ebangela lokhu kucindezeleka.

Uma ubhekene nalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka okuqhubekayo nokungenakubekezeleleka, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuxoxa ngakho nomuntu omdala omethembayo futhi ozizwa ukhululekile ukukhuluma naye. Leso isinyathelo sokuqala nesibaluleke kakhulu sokuthola impumuzo ekucindezelekeni kwakho nokuthola usizo lwenkinga ekubangelayo.

Yini into ebaluleke kakhulu esifuna ukuyithatha ekhaya kule ndaba? (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Kulungile, ngakho-ke ngicabanga ukuthi usunomqondo omuhle ngalokho ebesikhuluma ngakho isikhathi eside kangaka, 'ukucindezeleka'. Kunezinto ezimbalwa ezibalulekile okudingeka sizikhumbule kule ndaba:

• Ukucindezeleka kuyinto evamile: Sonke sizizwa sicindezelekile ngezikhathi ezahlukene ekuphileni kwethu. Ungazizwa kabi ngakho.
• Akuzona zonke izingcindezi ezimbi: Ngezinye izikhathi ukucindezeleka kusisiza sigweme izingozi, sibhekane nezinselele ezinkulu, futhi kusilungiselele kangcono. Kufana 'nohlelo lokuqapha' emzimbeni wethu.
• Ubuningi bubalulekile: Nakuba ukucindezeleka okuncane kuzuzisa, ukucindezeleka okukhulu, ikakhulukazi ukucindezeleka kwesikhathi eside, kuyingozi emzimbeni nasengqondweni yethu.
• Qaphela ukucindezeleka okungapheli: Uma uhlala uzizwa ucindezelekile ngenxa yenkinga (isib. ukuxhashazwa, izinkinga zomndeni, ukugula), ungakushayi indiva.
• Ungesabi ukucela usizo: Uma uzizwa ucindezelekile, ungahlupheki wedwa. Qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma nomuntu omdala omethembayo (umzali, uthisha, noma umuntu omdala omethembayo). Uma kudingeka, ungafuna neseluleko sezokwelapha noma ukwelulekwa. Khumbula, awuwedwa.

Ngakho-ke, ukucindezeleka kuyingxenye yokuphila kwethu. Into ebalulekile ukufunda ukuyiphatha kahle nokucela usizo uma kudingeka. Ube nosuku oluhle!

Ukucindezeleka kwengqondo, ukucindezeleka, ukucindezeleka, impilo yengqondo yezingane, ukuphathwa kokucindezeleka, ama-hormone okucindezeleka, ukulwa-ukubalekela-ukuma