Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi uma kufika isivakashi esisha, ingane yakho, empilweni yakho, uzizwa sengathi ungumnikazi womhlaba wonke. Yisikhathi esijabulisayo ngempela. Kodwa-ke, kwabanye omama, okuhlangenwe nakho kuhluke kakhulu. Esikhundleni senjabulo elindelekile, bazizwa besaba kakhulu, benesizungu, futhi bedabukile. Mhlawumbe nawe uzizwa ngendlela efanayo. Ungase uzibuze izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ngizomnakekela kanjani lo mntwana?", "Ingabe ngizokwazi ukwenza lokhu ngendlela efanele?" Awuwedwa. Lesi yisimo omama abaningi ababhekene naso. Yilokho esikhuluma ngakho namuhla.
Kuyini ukucindezeleka ngemva kokubeletha? Sikubona kanjani?
Okokuqala, ake siqonde into eyodwa. Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa zokuqala ngemva kokubeletha umntwana, omama abaningi bazizwa bedabukile kancane, becasukile, futhi bekhala nje. Lokhu sikubiza ngokuthi "ukuzizwa kabi kwengane." Lokhu kuvamile ngemithwalo yemfanelo emisha kanye nezinguquko zamahomoni. Lesi simo sivame ukuphela zingakapheli amasonto amabili.
Kodwa ukucindezeleka Kwangemva Kokubeletha (PPD) kuyisimo esihlukile nesibucayi kakhulu. Akupheli nje ezinsukwini ezimbalwa njenge-"baby blues." Kuyisimo esidinga ukwelashwa ngempela. Odokotela basibiza ngokuthi isigaba esibanzi esibizwa ngokuthi "Perinatal Mood Disorders." Lokho kusho ukuthi akusikho nje ukudabuka, kodwa kungahlanganisa nezinye izimo zempilo yengqondo njengokukhathazeka. Futhi lezi zimpawu zingaqala ngisho nangaphambi kokuba umntwana azalwe, ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa.
Uma usola ukuthi unalesi simo, cabanga ngezimpawu ezingezansi.
| Isibonakaliso (Uphawu) | Ingabe nawe uyakuzwa lokhu? (Incazelo) |
|---|---|
| Izinguquko ekudleni nasekulale | Awukadli kahle izinsuku eziningi, futhi awuzizwa sengathi ufuna ukudla. Noma, udla ungayeki. Uhlala ulele, noma awukwazi ukulala ngisho noma unethuba lokulala. |
| Ukukhathazeka | Ngihlala nginezinkathazo ezingadingekile kanye nemicabango ephazamisayo. Angikwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngazo. Ngihlala ngicabanga izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ingabe kukhona okuzokwenzeka enganeni?", "Ingabe kukhona okuzongihambela kabi?" |
| Umuzwa wecala nehlazo | Imizwa efana nokuthi “Angikwenzi kahle lokhu” nokuthi “Angisiye umama omuhle” ihlale ingikhathaza. |
| Intukuthelo nokungahlaliseki | Ngithukuthela kakhulu ngezinto ezincane. Ngihlala ngizizwa ngingakhululekile. |
| Imicabango yokuthi umntwana uzolimala | Nakuba lokhu kungase kuzwakale kusabisa kancane, abanye omama bangase babe nemicabango engalawuleki ngokuthi bazolimaza yini izingane zabo. Akulona iphutha lakho leli, kuyingxenye yesifo ngokwaso. |
| Ukuzizwa sengathi "Akumina lona" | Uzizwa sengathi awuzazi, sengathi ubuntu bakho obudala abusekho. |
Lezi zimpawu zivame ukuqala ukubonakala ezinyangeni ezintathu zokuqala zokuthola umntwana. Ngezinye izikhathi zingafinyelela esicongweni cishe ezinyangeni ezine. Kodwa-ke, uma zingahlolwanga kahle futhi zingalashwa, abanye omama bangaba nalesi simo iminyaka eminingi.
Lesi simo sithinta kanjani ubudlelwano bomndeni?
Umama ohlushwa ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha angase akuthole kunzima ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nomntwana wakhe. Bangase bazizwe sengathi bazungezwe inkungu. Bangase baphuthelwe yizinkumbulo eziyigugu njengokumamatheka kokuqala komntwana wabo, amazwi okuqala, kanye nezinyathelo zokuqala. Lokhu kungaholela emizweni yokudabuka nomuzwa wecala kamuva.
Lokhu akugcini nje ngokuphazamisa ubudlelwano phakathi kukamama nomntwana, kodwa futhi kubeka ingcindezi enkulu ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwendoda nomkayo.
Ochwepheshe bathi izinga lesehlukaniso liphezulu nakakhulu phakathi nonyaka wokuqala wokuthola umntwana. Ngisho noma kungekho izinkinga zengqondo, ukucindezeleka okwengeziwe kokuphila nomntwana omusha kuyinselele enkulu ebudlelwaneni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma umama ehlushwa yi-PPD, isimo siba sibi nakakhulu.
Abanye abayeni bathi: "Ngadumala kakhulu. Nakuba ngenza konke okusemandleni ami, yena akazange awufeze umthwalo wakhe wemfanelo. Wayehlala edabukile futhi ekhathazekile. Kwakufanele nginakekele ingane entsha nomkami."
Ukucindezeleka Kwangemva Kokubeletha kuyinto ethinta wonke umndeni.
Ungacabangi ukuthi lokhu kuyinto ethinta omama kuphela. Ngokusho kocwaningo, obaba abasha abangafika ku-10% bangase babe nalesi simo. Ngakho-ke, i-PPD yisimo esithinta wonke umndeni.
Lesi simo senza omama babe nesizungu kangangokuthi bakhohlwa ukuthi nobaba usendabeni. Ngisho nangemva kokuba eminye imibhangqwana idlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima, isalokhu ithwele intukuthelo nenzondo eyavela kulezo zenzakalo.
Ngisho nangemva kweminyaka eyishumi, lapho inkosikazi ithi, "Awusoze wangithethelela ngokungabi khona kwami ngesikhathi esinzima kakhulu," indoda iyaphendula, "Bengingazi ukuthi ngenzeni. Uvele wangena ezweni lakho ungakhulumi."
Lokhu kusho ukuthi lokhu akuyona inkinga yomuntu oyedwa, kodwa kuyinto okudingeka bobabili bayixazulule ndawonye.
Yiziphi izindlela zokwelapha lokhu? Ngingaluthola kanjani usizo?
Uma ucabanga ukuthi unalezi zimpawu, isinyathelo sokuqala nesibaluleke kakhulu okufanele usithathe ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho ngakho. Ungalokothi uzigcinele lokhu wedwa bese uhlupheka wedwa. Lokhu akusikho ubuthakathaka bakho, kuyisimo esingelapheka.
Uma uqala ukwelashwa, kubaluleke kakhulu ukubandakanya umyeni wakho kulokhu. Ngaleyo ndlela, ungaqonda ukuthi lokhu kuye kwawuthinta kanjani umndeni, uxoxe ngezinkinga umyeni wakho anazo, futhi umbonise ukuthi angakusekela kanjani.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi, awuwedwa, futhi kunezindlela zokwelapha ezisebenzayo zalokhu.
- Imithi: Omama abaningi bathola impumuzo enkulu emithini efana nemithi yokucindezeleka. Uma uncelisa, khuluma nodokotela wakho ngemithi engcono kakhulu yesimo sakho. Ungalokothi uthathe imithi wedwa ngaphandle kweseluleko sikadokotela.
- Ukwelulekwa kanye nokwelashwa kweqembu: Umeluleki angakufundisa amasu aqondene nezimpawu zakho. Isibonelo, amasu okuphumula komama abakhathazekile, kanye nezindlela zokuvimba imicabango engafuneki.
- Ukwakha uhlelo lokusekela: Ukukhuluma nabangani, ikakhulukazi omama abasha abanjengawe, kungamandla amakhulu. Ukukhuluma nomuntu oqonda imizwa yakho kuyimpumuzo enkulu.
- Izinguquko endleleni yokuphila: Ukudla ukudla okunomsoco nokulala ngokwanele kungasiza kakhulu ekunciphiseni izimpawu. Ukulala kuyinkinga enganeni, kodwa zama ukuphumula ngangokunokwenzeka ngosizo lomyeni wakho nomndeni wakho.
Okokugcina, kubalulekile ukunakekelana phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima. Ukucabanga ukuthi, "Awunginakekeli, ngakho angikudingi" kuzokwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu. Enye yezindlela ezinhle zokuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho ukucabanga ngezidingo zomlingani wakho. Lokhu kuzomenza azizwe engcono, futhi kuzobanika amandla okukunakekela kahle.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukucindezeleka Kwangemva Kokubeletha (PPD) akusona ubuthakathaka noma uphawu lwesimo sakho. Kuyisimo sangempela, esingelapheka.
- I-baby blues kanye ne-PPD yizinto ezimbili ezihlukene. I-PPD ihlala isikhathi esingaphezu kwamasonto amabili futhi iyingozi kakhulu.
- Lokhu kungathinta hhayi umama kuphela, kodwa nobaba kanye nomndeni wonke.
- Ungabi namahloni noma wesabe, uma unalezi zimpawu, khuluma nodokotela wakho ngokushesha. Ungahlupheki wedwa, ungathola usizo.
- Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho nomlingani wakho, umndeni kanye nabangani.
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