Sonke sikhuluma ngobuhlakani, akunjalo? Uma umuntu efunda kahle, uma ephumelela izivivinyo, sithi, "O, unengqondo enhle." Kodwa bewazi ukuthi i-IQ yodwa ayanele ukuze uphumelele futhi ujabule kuleli zwe? Kukhona okunye ukuhlakanipha okukhethekile, futhi lokho ukuhlakanipha kwemizwa, noma lokho esikubiza ngesiNgisi, "Ukuhlakanipha Kwemizwa."

Uma sithi ukuhlakanipha, ingabe kumane nje kuyi-'IQ'?

Cishe uke wezwa abantu bethi izinto ezinjengokuthi, "O, akudingeki ngifunde kakhulu, i-'IQ' yami iphakeme kakhulu." I-'IQ' imele i-'(Intellectual Quotient)'. Lesi isilinganiso sekhono lomuntu lokufunda nokucabanga . Kungakutshela ngezinga elithile ukuthi bazokwenza kahle kangakanani esikoleni naseyunivesithi. Kodwa-ke, i-'IQ' akuyona yodwa into elinganisa amakhono ethu. Cabanga nje, zingaki ezinye iziphiwo ezikhona kuleli zwe?

• Kukhona abanye abantu abanekhono elikhulu lokucabanga ngezindlela ezintathu (ubuhlakani bendawo) , njengabaklami bezakhiwo nabapendi.
• Kwabanye , ubuhlakani bomculo buyinto engokwemvelo. Banekhono elimangalisayo lokubona isigqi, umculo, kanye nephimbo.
• Ngokufanayo, ikhono lezemidlalo, ikhono lobuciko, ikhono lezimboni... konke lokhu kuyizinhlobo ezahlukene zamakhono obuhlakani.

Ngakho-ke, phakathi kwalokhu, kukhona okunye ukuhlakanipha okukhethekile okubaluleke kakhulu ezimpilweni zethu, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi esingakucabangi. Lokho ukuhlakanipha kwemizwa, noma "Ukuhlakanipha Kwemizwa" .

Ngakho-ke kuyini lokhu kuhlakanipha kwengqondo? (Ubuhlakani Bemizwelo - EQ)

Kalula nje, `(Ubuhlakani Bemizwa)` yikhono lethu lokuqonda, ukusebenzisa, nokuphatha imizwa yethu . Abanye bakubiza ngokuthi `EQ` (Emotional Quotient), kanti abanye bakubiza ngokuthi `EI` (Emotional Intelligence). Njengoba nje umuntu one-`IQ` ephezulu ethola amaphuzu aphezulu ezivivinyweni, umuntu one-`EQ` ephezulu uphumelela kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bezenhlalo nasezimweni zemizwa. Cabanga ngale ndlela, ukuba ne-`EQ` enhle kufana "nokukwazi ukuqonda abantu, ukuba muhle ekuhlaleni nabantu" . Uma sikhuluma nothile, lapho sisebenza, uma singamqonda futhi sibe muhle naye, kuzoba usizo olukhulu ukuphumelela kuzo zonke izici zokuphila. Eqinisweni, ezinye izifundo zikhombisile ukuthi i-`EQ` ngezinye izikhathi ibaluleke kakhulu kune-`IQ` ukwenza kahle esikoleni nokuphumelela emsebenzini.

Unabangane abaningi abahle? Kulula yini ngawe ukuqonda izinkinga zabanye abantu? Ungakwazi yini ukulawula intukuthelo yakho? Konke lokhu kuhlobene ne- 'EQ' yakho.

Abanye abantu bazalwa benala makhono e-'EQ'. Kodwa kwabanye , badinga ukuqeqeshwa nokuthuthukiswa. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi wonke umuntu angayithuthukisa! Ngokungafani ne-'IQ', i-'EQ' yinto esingasebenza kuyo futhi siyithuthukise kancane kancane. Kodwa, kufanele wazi ukuthi wenzeni ngayo, akunjalo?

Ukhulisa kanjani ubuhlakani bakho bemizwa (EQ)?

Ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo, noma i-'EQ', akuyona into eyodwa. Kuyinhlanganisela yamakhono amaningana ahlukene. Ake sibheke ukuthi ayini nokuthi singawathuthukisa kanjani.

1. Qaphela imizwa yakho.

Mingaki imizwa ehlukene esiba nayo sonke phakathi nosuku? Eminye imizwa (njengokumangala) iyadlula futhi iyadlula, kanti eminye (njengenjabulo nokudabuka) ihlala ezingqondweni zethu isikhashana, ibumba imizwa yethu. Ukukwazi ukubona nokubhala amagama ale mizwa yansuku zonke yingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu ye-EQ. Ukuqaphela imizwa yethu ngale ndlela - okungukuthi, ukucabanga nje, “O, ngizizwa ngale ndlela njengamanje, akunjalo?” - kusisiza ukulawula imizwa yethu. Kusisiza futhi ukuqonda ukuthi abanye abantu bazizwa kanjani. Kodwa abanye abantu, ngisho nangemva kosuku, kubonakala sengathi abanandaba nokuthi bazizwa kanjani. Zama ukuqaphela imizwa ngokushesha nje lapho uyizwa. Yinike igama engqondweni yakho (isibonelo, “Ngizizwa ngibonga kakhulu njengamanje,” “Ngizizwa ngikhungathekile kakhulu njengamanje”). Yenza lokhu kube umkhuba wansuku zonke. Ngemva kwesikhashana, uzobona ukuthi uyazi kangakanani imizwa yakho.

2. Zama ukuqonda imizwa yabanye (Uzwela)

Sonke sizalwa sinekhono lokuqonda abanye abantu. Enye ingxenye ebalulekile ye-EQ yikhono lokucabanga ukuthi abanye abantu bangazizwa kanjani ngesikhathi esithile. Futhi, ukuqonda ukuthi kungani bezizwa ngaleyo ndlela. Ngisho noma singazi ukuthi umuntu uzizwa kanjani ngempela, sikubiza ngokuthi uzwela . Lolu zwela lusisiza ukuba sikhathalele abanye, sakhe ubungane obuhle, kanye nobudlelwano. Yilolu zwela olusiqondisa kulokho okufanele sikusho kumuntu lapho ezizwa kabi, nokuthi singaziphatha kanjani phambi kwakhe. Cabanga nje, umngane wakho udangele ngemva kokwehluleka ukuhlolwa. Ungase ungazizwa lolo daba 100%. Kodwa uma ungacabanga, "Bengingazizwa kanjani ukube bengikulesi simo?", uqonde usizi lwabo, futhi usho izwi eliduduzayo kubo, lelo yikhono ku-EQ.

3. Lawula imizwa yakho bese uphendula ngendlela efanele.

Sonke siyathukuthela. Sonke siyakhungatheka. Kubalulekile ukuveza lokho esikucabangayo nesikuzwayo ngezinye izikhathi. Kodwa ukulawula impendulo yakho kusho ukwazi ukuthi uzoyiveza nini, kuphi, nokuthi uzoyiveza kanjani imizwa yakho. Uma uyiqonda imizwa yakho futhi wazi ukuthi ungayilawula kanjani, ungahlakulela ukuzithiba.Uma isikhathi singafanele sokuveza lowo muzwa, yeka impendulo. Umuntu one-EQ enhle uyazi ukuthi ukuphendula imizwa yakhe ngendlela engenanhlonipho, engacabangeli, enokhahlo, noma ebuhlungu kungalimaza ubudlelwano bakhe. Isibonelo, cabanga ukuthi uthukuthelele umphathi wakho ehhovisi. Ingabe kulungile ukumemeza ngokushesha, uvale umnyango, bese uhamba? Noma ingabe kulungile ukulinda isikhashana, ngemva kokuba intukuthelo isiphelile, uhambe ngokuthula ukhulume ngenkinga yakho? Umuntu one-EQ enhle ukhetha inketho yesibili. Ngoba uyazi ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukulawula imizwa yakhe nokuphendula ngendlela efanele. Lokhu kunganciphisa ukucindezeleka kwengqondo futhi, ngezinga elithile, kuvikele ezifweni zomzimba ezifana nomfutho wegazi ophezulu.

4. Khetha isimo sakho sengqondo.

Enye ingxenye yokulawula imizwa ukukhetha imizwa yethu. Imizwa yizimo zemizwa ezihlala isikhathi esifushane. Sinamandla okunquma ukuthi yimuphi umoya ofanele isimo esithile bese singena kuleyo mizwa. Ukukhetha isimo sengqondo esifanele kungasiza umuntu ukuthi ahlale ekhuthazekile, egxile, noma azame futhi esikhundleni sokuyeka. Abantu abane-EQ enhle bayazi ukuthi imizwa ayiyona nje into esingena kuyo. Ukwazi ukuthi yimuphi umoya ofanele isimo esithile nokuthi ungangena kanjani kuleyo mizwa kungasisiza siyilawule. Cabanga nje, unesethulo esibalulekile. Ngaphambi kwaso, uzizwa ukhathazekile kancane. Kodwa, uma ungakwazi, dala ngamabomu inkolelo kuwe ethi, "Cha, ngikwenza kahle lokhu, ngingakwenza," bese ungena esimweni sengqondo esijabule kancane, lokho futhi kuyingxenye ye-EQ.

Ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo (EQ) kuyinto ekhula kancane kancane.

Ubuhlakani Bemizwa buyinto ethuthukayo njengoba sikhula. Ngaphandle kwalokho, bonke abantu abadala bebezoziphatha njengezingane ezincane! Babezokhala, bakhale, bagingqike, bashaye phansi, futhi balahlekelwe ukulawula imizwa yabo. Amanye amakhono akha ubuhlakani bemizwa akhula kusenesikhathi. Angase abonakale elula. Isibonelo, ukuqaphela imizwa kulula uma wazi ukuthi yini okufanele ugxile kuyo. Kodwa-ke, ukulawula indlela osabela ngayo emizweni nokukhetha imizwa yakho, njenge-EQ, kungabonakala kunzima kancane ukuyilawula. Isizathu salokhu ukuthi ingxenye yobuchopho bethu ebhekene nokuzilawula ayivuthwa kuze kube yilapho sesidlulile eminyakeni yethu yobusha. Kodwa-ke, ngokuzijwayeza, lezo zindlela zobuchopho ziyakhula.

Njengoba nje isitshalo esincane sikhula sibe umuthi omkhulu, i-'EQ' yethu nayo ikhula ngesikhathi, okuhlangenwe nakho, kanye nomzamo.

Sonke singaqinisa ubuhlakani bethu bemizwa ngokuqaphela indlela esizizwa ngayo, ukuqonda ukuthi sifike kanjani lapho sikhona, ukuqonda ukuthi abanye bazizwa kanjani nokuthi kungani bezizwa ngendlela abazizwa ngayo, nokuveza imizwa yethu lapho kudingeka. Lokhu ngeke kwenzeke ngobusuku obubodwa, kodwa kuwufanele umzamo.

Isifinyezo nezinto okufanele uzikhumbule

Kulungile, nansi ezinye izinto okudingeka uzikhumbule kulokho esikhulume ngakho namuhla:

• Akuyona nje i-'IQ', kodwa i-'EQ' nayo ibaluleke kakhulu empilweni: `(Ubuhlakani Bemizwa)` yikhono lokuqonda nokulawula imizwa yethu, nokuqonda abanye.
• I-`EQ` ingathuthukiswa: Ngokungafani ne-`IQ`, i-`EQ` yinto esingayandisa ngomzamo.
• Prakthiza lezi zinto ukuze wandise i-EQ yakho:
• Qaphela imizwa yakho.
• Qonda imizwa yabanye ( uzwela ).
• Lawula imizwa yakho bese uphendula ngendlela efanele.
• Khetha isimo sakho sengqondo.
• I-'EQ' yinto ethuthuka kancane kancane: kuthatha isikhathi nokuzijwayeza. Ungesabi, zama kancane kancane.

Khumbula, ukuthuthukisa amakhono akho engqondo ngeke nje kukusize uphile impilo ejabulisayo nephumelelayo, kodwa kuzokusiza futhi ukuthi ugcine impilo yakho yengqondo futhi uqinise ubudlelwano bakho nabanye. Ngakho-ke, ake siqale ukucabanga ngalokhu kancane futhi sisebenzele kukho namuhla, akunjalo?

---

Ubuhlakani Bemizwa, i-EQ, i-EI, ubuhlakani, imizwa, impilo yengqondo, ubudlelwano, ukuzithiba, uzwela, ukuqina kwengqondo