Njengoba sonke sikhula, ubuntu bethu, ukuziphatha kwethu, kanye nezindlela zethu zokucabanga ziyashintsha kakhulu, akunjalo? Asifani nalokho esasiyikho lapho sisebancane. Asifani nalokho esasiyikho lapho sisebancane, kodwa siseminyakeni ephakathi. Wake wazibuza ukuthi lolu shintsho lwenzeka kanjani? Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseJalimane okuthiwa u-Erik Erikson sinikeze incazelo enhle kakhulu ngalokhu. Sathi sidlula ezigabeni eziyisishiyagalombili eziyinhloko ekuphileni kwethu kusukela ekuzalweni kuya ekufeni. Kulezi zigaba ngasinye, sibhekene nohlobo oluthile "lwengxabano yengqondo." Indlela esinqoba ngayo leyo ngxabano yiyo eyakha ubuntu bethu, okungukuthi, ukuthi singobani.
Yiziphi izigaba ezingu-8 zokuthuthukiswa kuka-Erikson?
Kalula nje, inkolelo-mbono ka-Erikson isikisela ukuthi ubuwena bethu bobugovu bukhula kancane kancane kuzo zonke izimpilo zethu ngalezi zigaba ezingu-8. Akukhona ukuthi isigaba esisodwa siyaphela bese kuqala esinye, kodwa kunalokho ukuthi lezi zigaba zixhumene, futhi okusele esigabeni esisodwa kungathinta isigaba esilandelayo.
Cabanga nje, kukhona ingane encane, uma izizwa inamahloni noma ingabaza ngamakhono ayo, lowo muzwa awupheli lapho. Ngisho noma iqhubekela ezigabeni ezilandelayo zokuphila, leyo mizwa ingaqhubeka ithinta ubuntu bayo. Okwamanje, idlula kwezinye izigaba.
Ake sibone ngokucacile ukuthi ziyini lezi zigaba ezingu-8.
| Isigaba | Umkhawulo weminyaka ( ngokuqokwa ) | Ingxabano eyisisekelo yengqondo |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Ubuntwana | Kusukela ekuzalweni kuya ezinyangeni ezingu-18 | Ukwethembana okuyisisekelo ngokumelene nokungathembi |
| 2. Ingane encane | Izinyanga ezingu-18 kuya eminyakeni emi-3 | Ukuzimela ngokumelene namahloni nokungabaza |
| 3. Isikole sabantwana abancane | Iminyaka emi-3 kuya kwemi-5 | Isinyathelo ngokumelene nomuzwa wecala |
| 4. Iminyaka yokuqala yesikole (Iminyaka yesikole) | Iminyaka engu-6 kuya kwengu-11 ubudala | Imboni uma iqhathaniswa nokungabalulekile |
| 5. Ubusha | Iminyaka eyi-12 kuya kweyi-18 ubudala | Ukudideka kobunikazi ngokumelene nobunikazi |
| 6. Ukukhula kwentsha | Iminyaka engu-19 kuya kwengu-40 ubudala | Ukusondelana ngokumelene nokuzihlukanisa |
| 7. Ubudala obuphakathi | Iminyaka engu-40 kuya kwengu-65 ubudala | Ukuzala ngokumelene nokukhubazeka |
| 8. Ukuguga | Kusukela eminyakeni engama-65 kuze kube sekufeni | Ubuqotho ngokumelene nokuphelelwa yithemba |
Ake sibheke lezi zigaba ngokuningiliziwe ngasinye ngasinye.
Isigaba ngasinye sinjengezitini esisekelweni sesakhiwo. Ubuntu obuqinile buyakhiwa ngokubeka esinye phezu kwesinye.
Isigaba 1: Ubuntwana (ukuzalwa kuya ezinyangeni ezingu-18) - Ukwethembana nokungathembani
Cabanga nje lapho kuzalwa umntwana omncane... akaqondi lutho ngaleli zwe. Uthembele ngokuphelele kunina, kuyise noma kubanakekeli bakhe. Lapho umntwana ekhala ngoba elambile noma ngenxa yokungakhululeki okuthile, uma umphatha, umondla, futhi umduduza ngothando, ukwethemba kwakheka enhliziyweni yomntwana.Ufunda ukuthi “kukhona umuntu ozonginakekela.” Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kuthembana kufinyelela nakwabanye.
Kodwa-ke, uma umntwana enganakwa futhi izidingo zakhe zingahlangatshezwa ngesikhathi, uzoba nomuzwa wokungazethembi . Uma ukwethembana kungakhiwanga kulesi sigaba, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukukwakha kamuva. Lapho kuvela izinkinga empilweni, abantu abanjalo bangazizwa bedumele kakhulu.
Isigaba 2: Ingane encane (izinyanga ezingu-18 - iminyaka emi-3) - Ukuzimela kanye namahloni/ukungabaza
Lesi yisikhathi lapho ingane yakho ifunda khona ukwenza izinto yodwa. Izama ukudla, ukuzigqokisa, nokufinyelela ithoyizi. Uma uyikhuthaza ngaleso sikhathi bese uthi, "Kuhle lokho, ungakwenza," izothuthukisa ukuzethemba nokuzimela .
Kodwa, uma umdumaza ngokuthi, "O, ungakwenzi lokho, awukwazi ukukwenza, uzohluleka," angase azizwe enamahloni futhi angabaze amakhono akhe.
Isigaba 3: Ubudala bezingane zangaphambi kwesikole (iminyaka engu-3-5) - Ukuthatha isinyathelo kanye nomuzwa wecala
Lesi yisikhathi lapho izingane ziqala khona ukusebenza zodwa, zithanda ukucela izinto ezintsha, ukwakha izindawo zokudlala, nokudweba izithombe. Ziqala ukuzizwa zinenjongo nomgomo empilweni. Uma uzikhuthaza ezintweni ezizenzayo, ziyashukumiseleka ukuthatha isinyathelo . Zithi, "Ngizokwenza lokhu."
Kodwa-ke, uma ugxeka noma uphazamisa lokho abakwenzayo, bangase bazizwe benecala , bezibuza, "Ingabe kukhona engikwenzayo okungalungile?"
Isigaba 4: Ubudala Bokuqala Kwesikole (iminyaka engu-6-11) - Ukukhuthala Nokungaziphathi Kahle
Kulesi sigaba, ingane iqala ukuqaphela ubuwena bayo kanye namakhono ayo. Iqala ukuziqhathanisa nabangani bayo esikoleni kanye nasenkundleni yokudlala. Uphawu lwenkanyezi olunikezwa uthisha ekilasini, isitifiketi sokuwina umncintiswano wezemidlalo, lubaluleke kakhulu kuyo.
Uma bethola ukwesekwa nokwaziswa kothisha, abazali, kanye nabangani, bazizwa sengathi banethalente futhi bayakhiqiza . Kodwa-ke, uma imizamo yabo ingaziswa, bangase bazizwe bengelutho futhi bengelutho.
Isigaba 5: Ubusha (iminyaka eyi-12-18) - Ukudideka kobuwena kanye nendima
Uke wezwa igama elithi "inkinga yobunikazi"? Livela kulesi sigaba. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, ingane encane ihlupha ubuchopho bayo ngemibuzo efana nokuthi "Ngingubani? Ngifuna ukuba yini? Iyini indawo yami emphakathini?" Bazama ukusungula imigomo nezindinganiso zokuphila kwabantu abadala.
Uma bekwazi ukusungula kahle ubuwena babo phakathi nalesi sikhathi, kuzoba amandla amakhulu empilweni. Kodwa uma becindezelwa okulindelwe kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo evela kubazali kanye nomphakathi, bangagcina besesimweni sokudideka kwendima lapho bengakwazi ukuthola ukuthi bangobani nokuthi bafunani.
Isigaba 6: Ubusha Bomuntu Omdala (ubudala obungu-19-40) - Ubuhlobo Obuseduze Nokuzihlukanisa
Lesi yisikhathi lapho sakha khona ubungane nobudlelwano bothando obubaluleke kakhulu empilweni. Uma lobu budlelwano bunenjongo futhi buqinile, uzozizwa usondelene nabanye.
Kubaluleke kakhulu kulesi sigaba ukuba nomuntu ozokwabelana naye ngempilo futhi wabelane naye ngenjabulo nosizi lwakho.
Kodwa-ke, uma unenkinga yokwakha lobu budlelwano, ungase uzizwe unesizungu futhi unesizungu.
Isigaba 7: Iminyaka Ephakathi (iminyaka engu-40-65) - Ukuzala Nokungakhuli
Uma ufika kulesi sigaba, uzizwa unesidingo esikhulu sokuqondisa izingane zakho, intsha emphakathini, nokuzifundisa lokho okwaziyo. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi ukukhiqiza . Kuhilela ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo nokunakekela labo abakuzungezile.
Kodwa, uma ungenzi njengomeluleki noma umqondisi nganoma iyiphi indlela, ungase uzizwe ukhungathekile futhi ungajabuli ngempilo. Lokhu kungaholela ekubeni uhlukaniswe nabangane, umndeni kanye nomphakathi futhi ungabi nandaba .
Isigaba 8: Ukuguga (ngemva kweminyaka engama-65) - ukufuna ukuphelela kanye nokudumazeka ebuntwini
Lesi yisigaba sokugcina u-Erikson asibizayo. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, sibheka emuva ezimpilweni zethu. Uma wanelisekile ngempilo oyiphilile, uzokhula ngesithunzi (ubuqotho bobugo) . Uzoziqhenya ngalokho okwenzile. Uzofuna ukwabelana nabanye ngolwazi lwakho lwempilo kanye nokuhlakanipha.
Kodwa, uma ubheka emuva empilweni yakho, okusala nakho ukuzisola njengokuthi, "O, ngifisa sengathi ngabe ngakwenza lokho ngaleso sikhathi," futhi ungase uphelelwe yithemba .
Ukuqaphela lezi zigaba kuzokusiza ukuthi uqonde ingane yakho, kanye nawe, njengomzali. Uma ingane yakho noma wena ubhekene nobunzima obungavamile kunoma yisiphi isigaba, kubalulekile ukukhuluma nodokotela noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ngakho.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ngokusho kombono ka-Erik Erikson, ubuntu bethu buqukethe izigaba ezingu-8 eziguqukayo empilweni yethu yonke.
- Kuzo zonke izigaba, sibhekene nokungqubuzana kwengqondo. Ukuxazululwa ngempumelelo kwale ngxabano kubalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kobuntu okunempilo.
- Izinkinga ezingaxazululwanga esigabeni esithile zingathinta izigaba zakamuva zokuphila.
- Lena inqubo yempilo yonke, kusukela ekuzalweni kuya ekugugeni.
- Ukuqonda lezi zigaba kuyasiza kakhulu kubazali ukuqonda izingane zabo kanye nakubantu ngabanye ukuziqonda bona.
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