Is your child restless? Is he always fidgeting, running around, and jumping? Does he have trouble focusing on one thing? Does he always get complaints from school? You must be feeling very tired with these things. But have you ever felt that because of this behavior , your child is feeling sorry for himself and his self-esteem is decreasing? Today we are talking about this very important topic.
What is the relationship between ADHD and self-esteem?
A child with ADHD, or more accurately , Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, has difficulty focusing on one thing. This can make it difficult for them to do well in school. As a result, they may suffer from poor grades, scolding from teachers, and frequent punishments.
Imagine how it would affect a young child's mind if they were constantly being criticized at school, at home, by friends, and relatives, such as "Can't you stay in one place?", "Why don't you listen to me?", and "You're so naughty."
"These children take the blame and criticism that comes from all sides into their own hearts. Over time, they start to think very badly of themselves. They even come to the point of thinking that they are worthless."
This is the main link between ADHD and low self-esteem. Some studies have found that as children with ADHD become adults, their self-esteem gradually decreases due to the challenges they face in life and the constant criticism they receive. In some severe cases, this low self-esteem can lead to conditions such as depression and suicidal thoughts.
But don't worry. This is not the child's fault. And, as a parent, there are many ways you can intervene in this situation, help your child feel better, and help build their self-esteem.
What to do first: Understand the situation exactly
The first step is to find out exactly what is causing your child's behavior. This will bring great relief to both the child and you. Talk to your pediatrician or another qualified doctor about your child's behavior .
Sometimes our relatives and friends may say things like, "That's just how it is at that age," "It's normal for boys to be naughty," "You're overthinking it." But you know your child best. If you think this is something beyond normal naughty behavior, definitely seek medical advice.
ADHD is a condition that can run in families. If a close family member has the condition, your child is more likely to have it too. Therefore, getting a diagnosis early means you can start working on ways to help your child sooner.
Things you can do as a parent
If your child has ADHD and you feel like they have low self-esteem, there are some specific things you can do to help them build their confidence . Let's take a look at what they are.
| Method | What to do |
|---|---|
| Appreciate even small successes. | Instead of just talking about the mistakes your child makes, praise the little things he does well. For example, if he sits down to do his homework as soon as he gets home from school, say, "Look at how good you are, you sat down to do it as soon as you got home." Praise his effort. |
| Give specific praise | Instead of just saying, "Good boy," praise him by specifically mentioning what he did. Saying something like, "The way you put away the toys is so neat, that's a big help to me," will not only build his self-esteem, but he'll also learn how to do a good job. |
| Identify your child's talents | Every child has a special talent. It could be drawing, singing, playing a sport, or even playing a computer game. Identify what they are good at and help them develop it. This will give them a sense of pride and accomplishment. |
| Break big tasks into small pieces. | Break down tasks that your child finds difficult (e.g., reading a book, tidying up the room) into small, manageable chunks. This will give them a chance to successfully complete each chunk. If they're doing something they don't like, you can even give them a small reward when they're done. |
| Model good behavior. | The best way to teach a child good manners is for parents to model them. Your child will watch how you behave when you're angry, how you handle problems, and how you handle yourself. So, be a good role model yourself. |
| Ask for help if needed. | Helping a child with ADHD is not an easy task. If you are having a hard time managing all of this on your own, never hesitate to seek professional help. It is not your weakness. It is your effort to give the best to your child. |
Let's also be aware of treatment methods.
In many cases, doctors first turn to therapy rather than medication for issues such as low self-esteem related to ADHD.
Therapy
Your doctor may refer your child to a therapist or child psychologist who specializes in ADHD-related issues. In this case,
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapy helps children identify negative thought patterns and teach them to change them into positive ones.
- Organization skills training: Teaches children to organize their work, use schedules, and plan things. These are skills that cannot be taught through medication and are important for life.
Parent Training
This is also very important. You can learn how to support a child with ADHD from this training. You can learn many things from this, such as how to manage the child's behavior, positive discipline methods, and how to communicate with the child.
Medication
If therapy methods do not produce the desired results, the doctor may prescribe medication. These medications for ADHD, especially stimulants , help improve a child's ability to focus and control behavior .
If you have any doubts or fears about medications, be sure to talk about them openly with your doctor .
Finally, there's one thing you should always remind your child of. "You don't have ADHD. You just have ADHD." That is, ADHD is not their identity, it's just a manageable condition.
Take-Home Message
- It's common for a child with ADHD to have low self-esteem, but it can be helped. It's not the child's fault or yours.
- If you have a concern about your child's behavior, don't dismiss it as "that's just how it is at that age," but seek medical advice immediately.
- Instead of blaming your child for their mistakes, praise the little things they do well and the effort they put forth.
- Identifying and helping your child develop their talents builds their self-confidence.
- If you, as a parent, find it difficult to navigate this journey alone, don't hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor.
- If you have any questions about medications or treatments, talk to your doctor about it.
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