Does your child have ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)? Let's talk about how to explain this to others.

When your child is diagnosed with ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, it can be a challenge to explain it to others. Your own family and friends may have said that your child is "naughty," "doesn't listen," or "lazy." But it's important to make them understand that this is not a case of naughtiness, laziness, or your upbringing's fault, but a medical condition. When you explain it that way, it's easier for them to empathize with your child and help them.

How do you explain ADHD to your family and friends?

Telling your family, including your parents, grandparents, and even your best friends, can sometimes be harder than you think. Some may not take it seriously. They may say, "That's just how it is, we were naughty when we were kids." Others may question your decision to give your child medication. So, how do we get these people on board and on board with the team that's helping your child?

Here are some simple steps to help:

• Do a little preparation before speaking: Visualize the points you are going to make in your mind. Or write them down on a piece of paper. This will help you speak with confidence and clarity.

• It's better to talk alone : ​​Imagine that you're going to tell your grandmother about this. It's much better to talk when it's just you and her, rather than when there are a lot of people there. That way, she'll feel free to ask you any questions she has without being afraid.

• Start the conversation with something positive: "Mom, I appreciate all you do for our child." Start by saying how important that person is in your child's life.

• Explain the condition: Be specific about some of the child's behaviors. Give examples of how they differ from a typical child (neurotypical child). Explain what treatment the doctor has prescribed (behavior modification therapy, medication, or both). Explain what your goals are and how you can help them achieve them. Invite them to ask questions. This will help you find out what they understood and what they didn't understand.

• Focus on the good: Instead of setting rules that say, "Don't do this, don't do that," suggest good things they can do. For example, instead of pointing out their child's mistakes, ask them to praise them when they do something small and good.

• Share what you've learned: Tell them what you've learned from your child's doctor. Tell them about the new techniques you're practicing with your child. If they have questions about it, you can even invite them to come see the doctor with you.

How do you talk to your child's friends about this?

It can sometimes be difficult for children with ADHD to interact with their peers. But it's important for them to participate in social activities. That's how social skills develop. Sometimes, it can be helpful for the child to tell their friends that they have ADHD. Here are some ways to help your child get used to it.

• Keep it simple: Your child might say, "I have ADHD. It's hard for me to focus and concentrate." For example, if he or she can't follow the rules while playing a game, try apologizing and saying, "I'm sorry, because I have ADHD, I sometimes forget things. I'm trying to work on it."

• Let him say it in his own words: Your child can explain something simple to a friend, like, "I want to sit in the front row at school so I can hear the teacher better." Make up a few simple sentences that are appropriate for different situations, and let your child choose the one he likes and use them.

• Make siblings understand this too: It can be difficult for other children in the same household to understand why their sibling is behaving this way. Explain to the other child that ADHD is a part of them, not a contagious illness, and that there are treatments that can help them stay focused. Ask them for their ideas to help make homework go more smoothly.

How do you tell the school teachers about your child's condition?

Your child may already have an Individualized Education Plan ( IEP or 504 plan) from school. These are legal documents that ensure that the school will provide the necessary accommodations for your child. However, don't assume that every teacher has read them. Ask for a special time with the teacher to talk about your child.

Things to explain to the teacher:

• How ADHD affects a child: Although teachers have a general understanding of ADHD, it does not affect every child in the same way. Not all children are hyperactive. Some children may daydream in class. It is very important to tell the teacher if your child talks all of a sudden in class, is unorganized, or has trouble controlling his temper.

• Share helpful strategies: It's important to understand your child's situation and let the teacher know what is and isn't working to help manage it. Maybe your child likes to work on a daily schedule, but behavior contracts aren't working for them. Talk to the teacher about these things.

• Ask how you can help: When you ask, the teacher gets the message that you are willing to work with them. This will also encourage the teacher to talk to you before a problem becomes a bigger problem. Remember, open communication paves the way for everyone to help their child.

Don't make these mistakes when talking about ADHD!

• Don't try to portray ADHD as a superpower or a gift. It's true that some characteristics of children with ADHD (e.g., creativity) can be advantageous. However, there are areas in a child's life that are very difficult because of this condition. It takes a lot of effort to manage it. It's important for others to see that reality.

• Don't keep unsupportive people in your life. No matter how hard you try, some people may never accept your child or their ADHD. If they say hurtful things about your child, or criticize your child's behavior or treatment, it's best to limit your interactions with them. Remember, your child can thrive and succeed just like any other child. They need to be surrounded by people who believe in them.

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