You are not alone after a miscarriage 💔😔😢

Oh my god, Anika came to my clinic one day as if her world had collapsed. Her eyes were swollen and she was crying. She walked with great difficulty and sat down in front of my desk. She had a tissue in her hand. After a while of silence, she said quietly, “ Dr. Priya , my baby is gone. I don’t know what happened, I have nothing to do but blame myself. Did I do something wrong?”

I couldn't help but look at her. Miscarriages are common. But they're not talked about very often. So many mothers think it's their fault. But it's really not. I told her, "Anika, I'm so sorry. This is not your fault. Let's talk about what happened, why it happened, and how we can help you heal."

What is a miscarriage?

As Anika wiped away her tears, I explained a little about it to her. “A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks. It’s very common – about 1 in 4 pregnancies end this way. Most miscarriages happen within the first 12 weeks, sometimes before a woman even knows she’s pregnant.”

He widened his eyes in surprise. “Oh, I didn’t know it was so common,” he said. “But why does it happen?”

What Causes Miscarriage?

I took out a notepad and drew a simple diagram of the uterus to explain to her. “Most miscarriages happen for reasons beyond your control,” I explained.

1. Chromosomal Abnormalities

More than 50% of miscarriages are caused by a genetic problem in the fetus. “This is not something you can prevent, Anika,” I assured her. “It’s nature’s way of ensuring that only healthy pregnancies continue.”

2. Uterine or Placental Issues

“Okay, now look. Sometimes there can be a problem with the shape of the uterus. Or there can be things like fibroids. Then the baby doesn't attach to the uterus properly. Also, the placenta can't grow properly. That can also cause a miscarriage.”

3. Maternal Health Conditions

"Furthermore, if the mother has any health problems, such as diabetes , thyroid problems, or blood clotting problems, miscarriage can occur."

“There are times when the exact cause is not clear. It can be frustrating, but it’s important to remember that it’s rarely because of something you did or didn’t do.”

Recognizing Miscarriage Symptoms

"When did the miscarriage actually happen? It was only when I started bleeding that I realized something was wrong."

“The symptoms of a miscarriage can vary. But watch out for these things in the future.”

• Vaginal Bleeding : This can be light spotting or heavy bleeding. This is often the first symptom to appear.
• Abdominal Cramping: You may experience lower abdominal cramps, similar to those experienced during menstruation.
• Passing Clots or Tissue: “What about passing tissue, doctor, it wasn’t just blood.” Yes, sometimes blood can come with clots. Or tissue can come through. That means the pregnancy is going to be lost.
• Lower Back Pain: Lower back pain may not be severe, or it may be a dull ache.
• Loss of Pregnancy Symptoms: If nausea or breast tenderness suddenly disappear, it could mean a miscarriage.

How is a miscarriage treated?

"What happens after an abortion? Could I have done anything?"

"Every case is different. Treatment depends on whether the miscarriage is complete or incomplete."

1. Watchful Waiting

"If all of your pregnancy tissue has been removed, no further treatment is needed. We'll see if there's any excessive bleeding or infection."

2. Surgical treatment (Dilation and Curettage – D&C)

"If there is any tissue left in the uterus, we perform a surgery called Dilation and Curettage ( D&C ) to remove it. That way, there will be no infection."

3. Medications

You can take painkillers like paracetamol or ibuprofen. If there is a risk of infection, antibiotics may also be given.

4. Rest and Recovery

“Stay in bed for at least 48 hours. Don't do any strenuous work for about a week. Your body needs time to heal.”

Miscarriage Risks and Complications

"Doctor Priya, will this abortion cause me problems later?" she asked, sounding scared.

"Most of the time, it doesn't get that messy. But you need to look into these things a little bit."

• Infection : Check for fever, odor, and stomach ache.
• Anemia: If you lose too much blood, you may develop iron deficiency. In that case, you may need to take medication.
• Emotional Effects: Sadness, guilt, and depression can occur. Don't ignore them.

“If you develop these symptoms, let me know. If you take good care of yourself, you can get well again.”

Emotional Recovery After Miscarriage

"How can I get rid of this sadness? I'm so sad, but I need to get better soon."

“It's normal to feel sad. It's normal to feel sad. It takes time. Everyone is different. So talk about your feelings. With your partner, with a friend, or with a counselor. You can also join a support group. Then you can talk to other people who have experienced the same thing as you. It's very comforting.”

“Will I have another baby?” Anika asked, tears filling her eyes.

I held her hand and said, “Yes, Anika. Many people have beautiful babies again after a miscarriage. Wait until your body is completely healed, at least two menstrual cycles. Then you can try again. But before that, make up your mind. Get over this pain.”

FAQ about Miscarriage

• Does stress cause miscarriage?

"A lot of stress is not good. But I can't say that it causes miscarriage."

• How long does it take to recover?

“It takes about 1-2 weeks for the body to heal. But it can take much longer for the mind to heal.”

• Does having a miscarriage mean I won't be able to have babies?

"No, no. Most people have babies again after an abortion."

• How do you say chaos is brewing?

"If you're bleeding a lot, have a fever, or have an odor, see a doctor right away."

• Can miscarriage be prevented?

"Not every miscarriage can be prevented. But if you take good care of your body, take the right medication, and eat and drink well, then the risk is low."

Finally…

When Anika left my office, she had a clear understanding of what had happened. She had hope again. A miscarriage is a tragedy. But it is not the end of the journey to motherhood. It is just a temporary stop.

To anyone going through this, remember: You are not alone, and this is not your fault. With time, help, and proper care, you can heal. You will have a beautiful baby again. Until that day, take heart. 😊