Imagine you are having a small conversation with your spouse . The conversation gradually turns into a fight. Suddenly, you feel like everything inside your head is in chaos, you can't think, you are left with anger, sadness, fear. It feels like a dam has burst and a flood of emotions is coming over you... You can't find the words, you can't think of what to do. You just want to get out of there somehow. Have you ever experienced something like this? This is what we simply call Emotional Flooding .
Simply put, what is Emotional Flooding?
Emotional Flooding is not an illness. It is a mental state that we experience. Simply put, it is when your emotions (such as sadness, anger, fear) become unbearable due to an event, and you lose control of your emotions. Just like adding more water to a bucket of water causes it to overflow, when your emotions become too much to handle, they overflow.
It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. If we peel back the layers, there's a lot going on behind the scenes. The event, how you perceive the event, how you feel about it, and how you respond to that feeling... all of these things come together to create the experience of Emotional Flooding. Even psychologists have struggled for decades to pinpoint the exact details.
What are the main symptoms you feel at times like this?
The symptoms of emotional flooding are not the same for everyone. They can also be difficult to distinguish because they are similar to the symptoms of other stressful situations. Let's take a look at the main symptoms.
| Characteristic | Simply put... |
|---|---|
| Thinking things in the wrong, negative way (Affect appraisal bias) | This is when you view someone's behavior or an event in a negative or incorrect way. For example, if your partner slams the door, you immediately think, "He's really angry and trying to scold me." This means you misinterpret his actions. You perceive the event as something unimaginable, unbearable, and confusing. |
| Escape behaviors | You feel a strong need to escape, run, or hide from the emotional situation. Or you may suddenly scream or cry, trying to end the situation as soon as possible. This is very similar to the defense response in our brain called (fight, flight, or freeze) . That is, the brain is trying to save you from a dangerous, stressful situation. |
| Disorganized functions | When your brain goes into 'survival mode', meaning it starts taking defensive measures, you lose the ability to think clearly. You lose the ability to make logical decisions, form a coherent argument, or remain calm. This kind of mental confusion is also a key symptom of Emotional Flooding. |
What are the possible scenarios for this situation to occur?
Although emotional flooding was initially discussed in relation to married couples, research has now found that it can happen in any relationship.
Married or in love
This situation is often seen in relationships, especially in those where intimate partner violence (IPV) occurs . But it is not limited to such relationships. Conflicts are also common among ordinary couples. However, someone who is prone to this type of emotional flooding may overreact to even the slightest anger from their partner. Then communication between the two breaks down completely. Such couples also have less ability to resolve conflict.
Between parents and children
This can also be seen between parents and children. Especially when children have behavioral problems. The more severe the child's behavioral problems, the more likely it is that parents who experience Emotional Flooding will respond harshly to the child. They may use harsh methods to punish the child, or they may be constantly angry with the child. What happens here is that the parents misinterpret the child's behavior , get angry about it, and punish the child harshly to stop the behavior.
In a normal environment
This isn't limited to relationships. Imagine you dropped a plate in the kitchen and broke it. Even though it's not a big deal, it can feel like a huge disaster. You might get so angry and want to escape the situation that you want to leave without picking up the broken plates.
The relationship between emotional flooding and trauma
There is a strong connection between traumatic events in the past and Emotional Flooding.
People who have been abused or mistreated in the past are more likely to develop this condition. Physical trauma, such as traumatic brain injuries, can also cause changes in a person's mood and behavior, leading to emotional flooding.
Not only that, children who were severely punished by their parents as children are more likely to face emotional flooding situations like this as adults.
How to escape and control this situation?
Emotional flooding is a complex issue, so there is no one-size-fits-all solution. But there are things we can do to manage it.
1. Take a timeout.
This is the simplest and quickest thing you can do. Whenever you or your partner feel these emotions coming on, step away from the situation for a while. After about 20 minutes of being apart and calming down, the intensity of those emotions will diminish.
Parents can also use this method. If you feel this way while you are with your child, before you react to the child immediately, step away from the situation for a while. Put the child in a safe place, go to another room and calm down. It is very important to have someone to help you at times like this. Ask a trusted friend or relative to watch over your child until you calm down.
2. Learn distress-tolerance skills
If this happens frequently, it is important to seek professional help . You can talk to your doctor and get a referral to a qualified mental health professional. Through therapy or counseling, you can learn ways to manage your emotions and calm your mind during times like this.
Couples can benefit greatly from couples counseling , which can help both parties understand the situation and learn better ways to resolve conflict.
3. Leave abusive relationships.
If you are in an abusive relationship, the most important thing to do before considering Emotional Flooding is to get help to get out of the relationship . This can be difficult to do alone. Please get help to get out of it. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or your doctor about this and get the support you need.
Take-Home Message
- Emotional flooding is an experience where emotions become overwhelming and you can't control your emotions. It's not a weakness on your part.
- This can happen in any relationship, or even when you're alone.
- Recognizing the symptoms is the first step (thinking things wrong, wanting to escape, feeling confused).
- At times like this, a "timeout," meaning getting away from the place for a while, is the best and quickest way to calm your mind.
- If this condition is constantly affecting your life, please seek professional help. Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or a counselor.
💬 අදහස් (0)
තවමත් කිසිදු අදහසක් පළ කර නොමැත. ඔබේ අදහස පළමු වරට මෙහි එක් කරන්න.
ඔබේ අදහස එක් කරන්න