Yu fil lɛk se di smɔl pikin we bin de tay yu ɛn lisin to ɔl wetin yu de tɔk, dɔn chenj wantɛm wantɛm? Yu tink se i kin vɛks pan ɔltin, de na in rum ɛn lɔk di domɔt, ɔltin bɔt padi dɛn, ɛn nɔ de lisin to wetin yu de tɔk? Nɔ wɔri. Dis na sɔntin we bɔku mama ɛn papa dɛn kin gɛt. Yu pikin dɔn dɔn in pikin naw ɛn i dɔn rich wan impɔtant tin we i de travul fɔ go big. Wi kin kɔl dis "adolescence". If wi no gud gud wan bɔt di chenj dɛn we kin apin insay dis tɛm, wi kin mek dis joyn izi fɔ di pikin ɛn bak fɔ yu.
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, wetin na yɔŋ pɔsin?
Adolescence na di tɛm we pɔsin kin chenj bitwin we i smɔl ɛn we i big. Insay dis tɛm, yu pikin in bɔdi, in bren, in filin, ɛn in padi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn kin chenj bɔku tin dɛn. Sɔntɛnde, dɛn chenj ya kin apin kwik kwik wan. Di we aw dɛn chenj ya kin difrɛn frɔm wan pikin to ɔda pikin. Dis kin bi tɛm we yu pikin kin gladi ɛn i nɔ kin izi fɔ yu. Na dis tɛm ya yu pikin kin bigin fɔ bi indipɛndɛnt frɔm yu smɔl smɔl ɛn kam fɔ no udat dɛn bi.
Di big chenj dɛn we kin apin na di bɔdi
wi kin kכl di chenj dεm we kin apin na di pikin in bכdi we i de sכmtεm tכn ``Puberty.`` dεn chenj dεm ya na di bכdi kin kכz fכ sכm כmon dεm we di pikin in bren de prodyuz insay dis tεm.
Insay dis tɛm, di pikin kin lɔng ɛn big wantɛm wantɛm. Wi de kɔl dis `(Grɔw Spurt)`. Dɔn bak, di swet kin bɔku, akni kin apia, ɛn bɔdi ia (armpit, prayvet eria) kin gro. Bɔku tɛm, dis growth spurt na gyal pikin dɛn kin apin kwik pas bɔy pikin dɛn. di gyal pikin dεm de gro fast fast bitwin 10-14 ia, we di bכy pikin dεm de gro lכng bכku tεm bitwin 14-17 ia.
Lɛ wi luk dɛn men difrɛns ya na wan tebul.
| Girls dɛn | Bɔy pikin dɛn |
|---|---|
| di brεst divεlכpmεnt de bigin (bכku tεm bitwin 10-14 ia) . | di tεstikul dεm εn di penis de big. |
| di fכs mεnstrashכn (mεnstrashכn) de apin (bכku tεm lεk 2 ia afta di brεst divεlכp). | Di erekshɔn ɛn di ejakuleshɔn kin bigin. |
| di bodi shep de chenj (lεk di hip dεm we wayd). | Di vɔys kin ala, wan biad ɛn chɛst ia kin gro. |
Mɛmba se pan ɔl we dɛn chenj ya kin apin to ɔlman, di tɛm ɛn ɔda we aw dɛn kin apin kin difrɛn frɔm wan pikin to ɔda pikin. Sɔm pikin dɛn kin rich di tɛm we dɛn fɔ bɔn kwik kwik wan, ɛn ɔda wan dɛn kin rich di tɛm we dɛn kin yɔŋ let. Dɛn tu tin ya kin mek di pikin strɛs, bikɔs i kin fil lɛk se dɛn difrɛn frɔm dɛn kɔmpin dɛn.
If di pikin bigin fɔ bɔn kwik kwik wan (bifo i ol 8 ia fɔ gyal pikin, bifo i ol 9 ia fɔ bɔy pikin) ɔ rili let (if gyal pikin nɔ gɛt di sik we i ol 14 ia, if bɔy pikin nɔ gɛt di sik we i ol 15 ia), mek shɔ se yu go to yu dɔktɔ. If yu nɔ pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn tin ya, dat kin afɛkt aw yu pikin in bon dɛn de gro ɛn aw i ay.
di chenj dεm we de apin insay di bren
We pikin yɔŋ, in bren kin divɛlɔp pasmak pas we i smɔl. We pikin smɔl, dɛn kin jɔs tink bɔt tin dɛn we dɛn kin si ɛn tɔch. Dat min se, dɛn kin jɔs tink bɔt "Na so i tan."
Bɔt as dɛn de rich yɔŋ, pikin dɛn kin bigin fɔ tink pas dat. Dɛn kin ebul fɔ tink dip, mɔ nuans we, lɛk "Wetin if dis nɔ apin?" ɛn "Wetin mek dɛn tin ya kin apin dis we?" (Abstrakt Tink we Yu De Tink). Dat min se dɛn ɔndastand se sɔntɛm tru tin de we pas wetin dɛn de si. Bɔt, tɛm stil de we dɛn kin de na pozishɔn usay dɛn kin se, "Wetin a tink se rayt."
Wetin mek dɛn de du wok we gɛt prɔblɛm wantɛm wantɛm?
dis na biכs di fכnt pat pan pikin in bren, di ``Frontal Cortex`` , na di las wan we de divεlכp ful wan. I kin tek lɛk 25 ia so fɔ mek dis pat machɔ.
Dis pat na di bren de kɔntrol wi ɛgzibit wok dɛn . Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan:
- Fɔ plan fɔ du sɔntin
- Fɔ put wetin impɔtant fɔs
- Impuls Kɔntrol
Bikɔs dis pat stil de divɛlɔp, sɔntɛnde yu pikin kin want fɔ du sɔntin we i nɔ de tink, tek risk (e.g., fɔ rayd baysikul wit in padi dɛn, fɔ tray tin dɛn we dɛn nɔ no) , ɛn gɛt prɔblɛm wit in maynd ɔltɛm .
we titi de akt pan impuls we i nכ yuz dis fכnt pat na di bren, dεn kכl am ``Hכt Kכgnishכn``. Fɔ disayd fɔ du sɔntin bay di we aw pɔsin de fil. כltu, fכ mek disizhכn bays pan lכjik εn riflεkshכn dεn kכl am ``Kכld Kכgnishכn``. Mama ɛn papa kin ɛp dɛn pikin fɔ muf frɔm dis ``Hot Cognition`` to ``Cold Cognition``. Bifo yu gi lɛkchɔ, lisin to wetin di pikin gɛt fɔ tɔk wit sɔri-at, aks am kwɛstyɔn, ɛn ɛnkɔrej am fɔ tink.
Di Chenj dɛn we De na di Imɔshɔnal ɛn Sɔshial
Insay dis tɛm, pikin dɛn kin lan fɔ ɔndastand ɛn kɔntrol aw dɛn de fil ɛn aw ɔda pipul dɛn kin fil. Dɛn kin bigin fɔ no wetin dɛn ebul fɔ du ɛn di kwaliti dɛn we dɛn gɛt. Sɔm pikin dɛn kin gladi fɔ tek dɛn nyu prɔblɛm dɛn ya. Bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn kin nid mɔ ɛp frɔm yu fɔ mek dɛn gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan dɛnsɛf.
Aw dɛn kin mek pɔsin gɛt rɛspɛkt fɔ insɛf?
Dɛn chenj ya we kin apin na di bɔdi, di ɔmon dɛn, ɛn di we aw i de fil kin afɛkt di we aw pikin de fil bɔt insɛf. Dɛn kin shem fɔ dɛn bɔdi we dɛn de rich di tɛm we dɛn de bɔn, ilɛksɛf na bifo ɔ leta pas dɛn kɔmpin dɛn. "No bi outcast among friends" na tin we rili impɔtant fɔ dɛn dis tɛm.
Di wok we mama ɛn papa dɛn de du rili impɔtant na ya. Bifo yu bi ``Helicopter Parent`` we de rɔn fɔ kech di pikin ɛnisay we i fɔdɔm, ɔ ``Snowplow Parent`` we de pul ɛvri tin we de ambɔg di pikin in rod, i bɛtɛ fɔ bi ``Lighthouse Parent`` . Dat min se fɔ gi di pikin di fridɔm fɔ disayd fɔ insɛf ɛn fɔ fɛn ɔltin bɔt di wɔl we i de sɛt bɔda fɔ sef ɛn fɔ biev fayn.
Dis na aw pikin kin bil in sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt:
- Mek wan mistek.
- Fɔ lan frɔm dɛn mistek dɛn de.
- Fɔ tek rispɔnsibiliti fɔ dɛn yon akshɔn.
Di joyn fɔ fɛn udat yu bi ɛn di sosayti
Di big tin we pikin kin du we i yɔŋ na fɔ fɛn udat i bi. Pan ɔl we dis waka na rili layf we pɔsin kin waka, i kin bigin dis tɛm. Along wit dis sach fɔ aydentiti de kam di strɛch fɔ indipɛndɛns . Yu go si dɛn tin ya:
- Fɔ sho se yu intres pan di ɔda man ɛn uman ɛn fɔ gɛt lɔv.
- Dɛn nɔ kin aks yu fɔ ɛp we dɛn gɛt prɔblɛm.
- Fɔ spɛn smɔl tɛm wit yusɛf ɛn spɛn mɔ tɛm wit yu padi dɛn.
- Sɔmtɛm, tin dɛn lɛk fɔ wɔri, pwɛl hat, ɛn pwɛl hat kin kam. Dɛn tin ya kin ambɔg di wok we dɛn de du na skul ɛn mek pipul dɛn de biev we gɛt prɔblɛm.
Wetin na di impak we soshal midia gɛt?
Di impak we soshal midia gɛt pan tide tide nɔto smɔl tin. Gud ɛn rili bad tin dɛn de we dis kin du.
- Sayba buli: Dɛn kin shem ɛn provok ɔda pipul dɛn na di intanɛt.
- Kɔmpia: Fɔ disapɔynt yusɛf bay we yu kɔmpia yu layf to di "pafɛkt" layf we ɔda pipul dɛn kin post na Instagram ɛn TikTok.
- Tin dɛn we nɔ fayn: Fɔ gɛt tin dɛn we nɔ fayn fɔ yu ej, we gɛt fɛt-fɛt.
- Lɔs di rial soshal skil dɛm: Fɔ tɔk na di Intanɛt nɔto di sem wit fɔ tɔk fes to fes. Di ebul fɔ ɔndastand di we aw pɔsin de sho in fes ɛn di we aw i de tɔk bɔt in bɔdi kin go dɔŋ.
Ɔl dis kin mek di pikin nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ rɛspɛkt fɔ insɛf, i kin wɔri, ɛn in at kin pwɛl .
Rayt ɛn rɔŋ ɛn chenj dɛn pan gud abit dɛn
Insay dis tɛm, di we aw di pikin de si di wɔl kin dip. Dɛn ɔndastand se nɔto ɔl di tin dɛn we dɛn kin disayd fɔ du na "blak ɔ wayt." Dɛn kin bigin fɔ wɔnda wetin mek ɔda pipul dɛn kin disayd fɔ du difrɛn tin pas dɛn, ɛn dis kin mek dɛn fil sɔri fɔ dɛn . Dɛn kin ɔndastand mɔ bɔt wetin mek di wɔl gɛt lɔ dɛn. Dɛn kin mek dɛn yon opinion bɔt wetin rayt ɛn wetin rɔŋ. Dis tɛm ya, dɛn kin bigin bak fɔ tink gud wan bɔt rilijɔn. Ɛnitɛm we yu gɛt di chans, tɔk to yu pikin bɔt dɛn tɔpik ya. As yu de lan bɔt aw yu pikin de tink, tɛl yu yon aidia.
Wetin yu go du as mama ɔ papa?
We yu de yɔŋ, i kin tranga fɔ yu ɛn yu pikin. Bɔt if una ɔl tu tray fɔ ɔndastand unasɛf, una go mek una os nɔ bi say usay wɔ. Na sɔm advays dɛn ya we go ɛp yu:
- Lisin gud wan: We yu pikin de tɔk to yu, put wetin yu de du (luk yu fon, wach TV) fɔ smɔl tɛm ɛn pe atɛnshɔn to wetin yu pikin de tɔk.
- Yu fɔ de kwayɛt: Lisin to wetin yu pikin de tɔk, ɛn mek i no se yu ɔndastand. Ilɛksɛf di we aw i de biev nɔ fayn, tray fɔ ɔndastand aw i de fil.
- Tɔk wit rɛspɛkt: Tɔk to yu pikin fayn ɛn fayn, jɔs lɛk aw yu go tɔk to strenja. Di tɔyn we yu de tɔk de mek di tɔyn fɔ di wan ol tɔk.
- Nɔ klos ɛni tɔpik: Gi yu pikin di kɔnfidɛns se i go ebul fɔ tɔk to yu bɔt ɛnitin. Bi "Open/Approachable" Mama ɛn Papa.
- Nɔ shem yu pikin: Nɔ laf kwɛstyɔn ɔ kɔmɛnt we yu tink se na pikin. Bifo dat, lisin to wetin dɛn de tink ɛn tɔk wetin yu tink ɔnɛs wan.
- Ɛp fɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf: Prez yu pikin in tray. Ɛnkɔrej dɛn fɔ tek pat pan tin dɛn we dɛn lɛk (nɔto we yu lɛk). Bɔku tɛm wi kin fɔgɛt di gud tin dɛn we pikin de du ɛn pe atɛnshɔn pan di bad tin dɛn. We yu pikin si sɔntin we gud, prez am ɛn ɛnkɔrej am fɔ du mɔ pan di sem tin.
- Mek a chalenj yu opinion:Na nɔmal tin fɔ mek pikin dɛn chalenj yu opinion ɛn di we aw yu de du tin. If dɛn want fɔ divɛlɔp dɛn yon aydentiti, dɛn nid fɔ lan fɔ tink indipɛndɛnt frɔm yu.
Wan smɔl advays fɔ pikin dɛn
If titi de rid dis atikul, a gɛt sɔntin fɔ tɛl yu bak:
- Nɔ luk yu mama ɛn papa lɛk ɛnimi: dɛn lɛk yu bad bad wan. Ilɛksɛf yu nɔ gri wit di we aw dɛn de sho am, sɔntɛm dɛn tink se na fɔ yu bɛst.
- Ɔndastand dɛn bak: Tray fɔ ɔndastand se yu mama ɛn papa dɛnsɛf na nɔmal pipul dɛn we gɛt dɛn yon prɔblɛm, nid, ɛn filin.
- Tɔk bɔt aw yu de fil: I go izi fɔ dɛn fɔ ɔndastand yu if yu tɛl dɛn wetin yu de tink.
- Du yu wok: If yu du yu wok na os ɛn skul, yu mama ɛn papa nɔ go tink tu tɛm fɔ gi yu di fridɔm we yu want.
- Trit yu mama ɛn papa wit rɛspɛkt: Trit yu mama ɛn papa di sem we aw yu go trit yu padi dɛn mama ɛn papa.
We yu de yɔŋ na tɛm we yu kin gladi ɛn we kin mek yu strɛs as yu pikin de chenj to big pɔsin. Dɛn chenj ya kin apin kwik kwik wan, ɛn sɔntɛnde di waka nɔ kin fayn. Frɔm di chenj na di bɔdi to di chenj we yu de fil, di bɛst tin we yu kin du na fɔ sɔpɔt dɛn ɛn de fɔ dɛn as dɛn de diskɔba udat dɛn bi ɛn dɛn ples na di wɔl.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Adolescence na nɔmal tɛm we pɔsin kin chenj frɔm we i smɔl to we i big, ɛn na da tɛm de big chenj dɛn kin apin na in bɔdi, maynd, ɛn soshal layf.
- Risky bihayvya εn mכd swing na kכmכn biכs di fכnt kכtεks na di pikin in bren nכ de divεlכp ful wan.
- Di wok we mama ɛn papa de du nɔto fɔ pul ɔl di tin dɛn we de ambɔg di pikin, bɔt fɔ bi "laythaus" we de gayd am we de sho sef bɔda dɛn.
- I rili impɔtant fɔ mek wi kɔntinyu fɔ tɔk to di pikin opin wan ɛn lisin to am wit rɛspɛkt.
- If yu pikin in puberty nɔ kɔmɔn kwik ɔ let, ɔ if yu pikin tan lɛk se i de wɔri pasmak ɔ i de fil bad, go to yu dɔktɔ wantɛm wantɛm.
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