Wi ɔl de tink ɛn se mama ɛn papa fɔ day bifo dɛn pikin dɛn. Bɔt layf nɔ kin wok ɔltɛm di we aw wi tink se i "fɔ." Sɔntɛnde, di we aw dɛn nɔ bin de ɛkspɛkt, mama ɛn papa dɛn kin gɛt fɔ bia wit di pen we dɛn nɔ go ebul fɔ bia we dɛn lɔs dɛn yon pikin . Na pen we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ tɔk bɔt wit wɔd.
Wetin na di sɔri we pɔsin kin fil we i lɔs in pikin?
Fɔ kray fɔ pikin we dɔn day na lɔng waka we nɔ izi fɔ waka. Yu go mɔs dɔn yɛri bɔt di stej dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de fil bad. Bɔt di tru tin na dat, pan ɔl we dɛn stej ya kin apin, nɔto ɔlman kin kray di sem we. I difrɛn mɔ we yu de kray fɔ pikin.
Na wan wan pan dɛn tin ya nɔmɔ yu kin gɛt. Dɛn stej ya kin kɔmɔt na ɔda say. Di tɛm we ɛnibɔdi kin spɛn pan ɛni stej difrɛn. Sɔntɛnde, yu kin gɛt di sem stej ɔltɛm.
Di fayv stej dɛm wae dɛn kin tɔk bɔt wae kin mek pɔrsin fil bad na:
1. Fɔ dinay
2. Fɔ vɛks
3. Fɔ bargayn
4. Pwɛl hat sik
5. Fɔ gri wit wetin yu de du
Naw lɛ wi tɔk bɔt ɛni wan pan dɛn stej ya smɔl mɔ.
1. Fɔ dinay
Bɔku tɛm, dis na di fɔs tɛm we pɔsin kin fil bad. Na rili di we aw yu bren de protɛkt yu frɔm wan big big shɔk. I involv fɔ tink se, "Nɔ, dat nɔ bin apin," ɔ fɔ mek lɛk se yu nɔ fil wetin yu de fil.
| Aw yu de fil insay yu at | Aw i de luk na do |
|---|---|
| Filin wae de fil wae yu nɔr de fil (lɛk fɔ nɔr de fil fayn) . | Fɔ put di wok bifo tɛm |
| Kɔnfyushɔn, nɔ ebul fɔ pe atɛnshɔn | Fɔ skip tin dɛn |
| Wan big shɔk | Fɔgɛt tin dɛn |
| Fɔ fil lɛk se ɔltin "shut down". | Fɔ pul pɔsin in atɛnshɔn bay we yu de du ɔda tin dɛn |
| - . | Tell oda pipul "I'm fine". |
2. Fɔ vɛks
Dis vɛks kin apin to ɛnibɔdi, pan ɛnitin. I kin bi to yusɛf, to Gɔd, to di dɔktɔ dɛn, ɔ to ɛnibɔdi we yu fil se na in mek dis day. Sɔntɛnde, dis vɛks kin bi jɔstis. Bɔt we yu vɛks, dat go jɔs mek di pipul dɛn we fɔ ɛp yu nɔ de nia yu.
| Aw yu de fil insay yu at | Aw i de luk na do |
|---|---|
| Intense vɛks, vɛks bad bad wan | Fɔ tɔk wit sɔri-at |
| et, fɔ vɛks | Ɔltɛm, yu de tink bɔt bad tin dɛn |
| Nɔ peshɛnt | I kin vɛks ɔltɛm |
| Wan shemful tin | Fɔ bi agresiv ɔ fɔ gɛt fɛt-fɛt |
| Fɔ fil se yu nɔ ebul fɔ kɔntrol yusɛf | Fɔ yuz rɔm ɔ drɔgs mɔ ɛn mɔ |
Sɔmtɛm lɛk dis, di bɛst we fɔ kɔntrol dɛn kayn bad bad filin ya na fɔ ɛksesaiz, kɔnɛkt wit ɔda pipul dɛn, ɛn go fɛn tritmɛnt.
3. Fɔ bargayn
Dis nɔ kin min ɔltɛm fɔ mek agrimɛnt wit Gɔd. Bɔku tɛm, dis na di tɛm fɔ tray fɔ fɛn di men tin we mek yu gɛt di bad bad tin we apin to yu. Yu kin aks yusɛf kwɛstyɔn dɛn lɛk, "Wetin mek dis apin to wi?" "Fɔ us kraym a gɛt dis pɔnishmɛnt?" Ɛn yu kin fil bad we yu de luk fɔ rizin. Tin dɛm lɛk, "If a bin dɔn du dat bak da tɛm de..." ɛn "If a bin dɔn du dis..." kin ful yu maynd.
4. Pwɛl hat sik
Na dis stej yu kin rili bigin fɔ fil di ful graviti fɔ di tin we apin, di pen we yu lɔs, di pwɛl at, ɛn di bad bad sɔri-at. Dis kin dip pas aw pɔsin kin fil bad.
Mɛmba se, pwɛl hat wae gɛt fɔ du wit pwɛl hat ɛn pwɛl hat sik na tu difrɛn tin. Bɔt, pwɛl hat wae gɛt fɔ du wit pwɛl hat kin kam bad bad wan ɛn kin go bifo to klinik pwɛl hat. If yu nɔ ebul fɔ bia, mek shɔ se yu go to yu dɔktɔ fɔ advays.
Na sɔm kɔmɔn sayn dɛm wae yu kin si na dis stej:
- Fɔ kray ɔltɛm
- Slip chenj (nɔ de slip ɔ slip tumɔs) .
- Chenj pan aw yu de it (anorexia ɔr it pasmak) .
- Lɔs fɔ intres pan sɔshal intarakshɔn
- Fɔ lɔs di tin we de mek yu want fɔ du ɛnitin
- Fɔ yuz drɔgs ɔ rɔm mɔ ɛn mɔ
5. Fɔ gri wit wetin yu de du
Dis na di stej we yu maynd kin dɔn fɔ prosɛs dis lɔs ɛn bigin fɔ go bifo. Yu kin stil fil ɔda filin (sɔri, vɛks), bɔt na dis stej yu dɔn kam to sɔm kayn rizɔlt, wan agrimɛnt.
Fɔ aksept yu nɔ min se yu nɔ de fil bad, ɔ yu fɔgɛt bɔt yu pikin. I min se yu nɔ de fɛt rial tin igen, yu nɔ de avɔyd am igen, bɔt yu bigin fɔ liv wit am.
Aw yu kin dil wit pwɛl at?
No wan rayt we nɔ de fɔ dil wit sɔri-at. We yu lɔs pikin, dat kin mek yu fil pen mɔ, so nɔbɔdi nɔ go ebul fɔ tɔk bɔt aw yu go fil bad. Bɔt sɔm we dɛn fɔ dil wit pwɛl hat kin fayn pas ɔda wan dɛn.
Praktis dɛn we nɔ fayn fɔ avɔyd
- Fɔ drink rɔm pasmak ɔ fɔ tek drɔgs.
- Fɔ drayv we yu dɔn chak.
- Fɔ spɛnd mɔni we dɛn nɔ de kɔntrol (kompulsiv spɛndin).
- Risk seksual bihayvya.
- Fɔ tray fɔ kɔntrol ɔda pipul dɛn ɔ fɔ trit ɔda pipul dɛn bad.
- Hoarding we dɛn de kip.
- Fɔ du bad to yusɛf ɛn fɔ tink bɔt fɔ kil yusɛf.If yu gɛt dɛn tin ya, go to yu dɔktɔ wantɛm wantɛm ɔ admit yusɛf na di ɔspitul in Imejɛnsi Tritmɛnt Yunit (ETU).
Tips fɔ bia wit pwɛl hat di we we go mek yu gɛt wɛlbɔdi
- Alaw yusɛf fɔ fil ɔl di filin dɛn we yu de fil. Ivin if dɛn filin dɛn de de agens dɛnsɛf, ivin if yu tink se, "A nɔ want fɔ fil dis kayn we," lɛ dɛn ɔl bi. Dat na pat pan di prɔses.
- Kip wan jɔnal. We yu rayt aw yu de fil, dat go ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand ɛn fri am.
- Nɔ put tɛm fɔ yu sɔri-at. Nɔ fos yusɛf fɔ se, "A nid fɔ ɔva dis naw." I kin tek tɛm fɔ mek i wɛl.
- Fɛn we fɔ mɛmba yu pikin we day. Fɔ ɛgzampul, yu kin mek wan tradishɔn, lɛk fɔ gi gift to di pikin in batde ɔ fɔ du sɔntin we dɛn lɛk.
- Yuz yu sɔpɔt sistɛm. Dat min se yu famili, padi dɛn, rilijɔn grup dɛn, ɔ grup dɛn we de sɔpɔt pipul dɛn we gɛt pwɛl at. Nɔ tray fɔ kɛr dis lod yu wan.
- Aks pɔsin we sabi du di wok fɔ ɛp yu. If dɛn kayn we ya fɔ gɛt wɛlbɔdi nɔr de ɛp, ɛn yu fil lɛk se yu de yuz tin dɛm wae nɔr fayn fɔ bia wit yu prɔblɛm, tink bɔt fɔ go fɔ tritmɛnt fɔ pwɛl hat . E fayn fɔ go to kwalifay kɔlnɔ ɔr saykayatrist wae spɛshal pan pwɛl hat.
Layf afta yu dɔn lɔs pikin
Wan wɔd de we dɛn kin tɔk se "tɛm kin mɛn ɔl wund," bɔt dat nɔto tru ɔl we i kam pan sɔri-at. I nɔ mata aw yu "aksept" di lɔs, yu go ɔltɛm liv wit di pen fɔ lɔs yu pikin. Wan wan tɛm, yu go fil bad, yu go fil pen we yu lɔs, ɛn yu go fil bad.
Bɔt, tɛm go mɛn yu sɔri-at. As yu bigin fɔ wɛl, di pen nɔ go de igen ɛn i nɔ go de mek yu fil bad. Yu go ajɔst to nyu we fɔ liv yu layf. Yu layf go go bifo. Insay da tɛm de, di mɛmori fɔ yu pikin go de ɔltɛm na spɛshal ples na yu at.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Fɔ sɔri fɔ pikin we i lɔs na sɔntin we pɔsin kin du fɔ insɛf ɛn fɔ insɛf. No "rayt" ɔ "rɔng" we nɔ de fɔ dil wit am.
- Di stej dɛm wae pɔrsin kin gɛt pwɛl hat nɔto ɔda tin wae dɛn kin du. Dɛn na jɔs di ansa dɛn we dɛn kin si we dɛn kin si.
- Alaw yusɛf fɔ fil ɛvri filin we yu de fil (sɔri, vɛks, gilti) witout jɔjmɛnt.
- Aks sɔpɔt frɔm yu famili, padi dɛn, ɛn sɔpɔt grup dɛn if nid de. Nɔ sɔfa yu wan.
- If i nɔr kin izi fɔ yu fɔ bia wit yu pwɛl hat ɔr yu de tink bɔt fɔ du bad to yusɛf, go to pɔrsin wae sabi yu dɔktɔ ɔr pɔrsin wae de advays yu bɔt yu maynd kwik kwik wan.
- Fɔ mɛmba yu pikin wit lɔv kin bi fayn pat pan di wɛlbɔdi prɔses.
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