Imajin se yu de tɔk smɔl wit yu man ɔ yu wɛf . Di tɔk kin tɔn smɔl smɔl to fɛt-fɛt. Wantɛm wantɛm, yu fil lɛk se ɔltin insay yu ed de insay chaos, yu nɔ ebul fɔ tink, yu de lɛf wit vɛks, sɔri-at, fred. I tan lɛk se dɛm dɔn bɔs ɛn wata we gɛt bɔku bɔku imɔshɔn dɛn de kam oba yu... Yu nɔ ebul fɔ fɛn di wɔd dɛn, yu nɔ ebul fɔ tink bɔt wetin fɔ du. Yu jɔs want fɔ kɔmɔt de sɔm kayn we. Yu dɔn ɛva ɛkspiriɛns sɔntin lɛk dis? Dis na wetin wi jɔs kɔl Emotional Flooding .
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, wetin na Emotional Flooding?
Emotional Flooding nɔto sik. Na wan mental stet we wi kin gɛt. Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, na we yu filin (lɛk fɔ sɔri, vɛks, fred) nɔr kin ebul fɔ bia bikɔs ɔf sɔntin, ɛn yu nɔr kin ebul fɔ kɔntrol yu filin. Jɔs lɛk aw fɔ ad mɔ wata to bɔkit wata kin mek i ful-ɔp, we yu filin dɛn kin bɔku fɔ sɔlv, dɛn kin ful-ɔp.
I tan lɛk se yu de pul di layers dɛn na anɔynt bak. If wi peel bak di layers, plenti tin de go on bihain di scenes. Di ivent, aw yu de si di ivent, aw yu fil bɔt am, ɛn aw yu de ansa da filin de... ɔl dɛn tin ya kin kam togɛda fɔ mek di ɛkspiriɛns fɔ Imotional Flooding. Ivin sayɛnsman dɛn we de stɔdi bɔt pɔsin in maynd dɔn de tray tranga wan fɔ lɔng lɔng tɛm fɔ no di rayt tin dɛn we dɛn de tɔk bɔt.
Wetin na di men sayn dɛm wae yu kin fil sɔm kayn tɛm lɛk dis?
De sayn dɛm wae de kam wae pɔrsin fil bad nɔr kin bi di sem fɔ ɔlman. I kin tranga bak fɔ no difrɛns bikɔs dɛn kin fiba di sayn dɛm wae kin kam wit ɔda tin dɛm wae kin mek pɔrsin strɛs. Lɛ wi tek wan luk pan di men sayn dɛm.
| Di kwaliti we pɔsin gɛt | Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan... |
|---|---|
| Tink tin dɛn di rɔng, negatif we (Affect appraisal bias) . | Dis na we yu de si pɔsin in bihayvya ɔ sɔntin we apin di we we nɔ fayn ɔ we nɔ kɔrɛkt. Fɔ ɛgzampul, if yu patna slam di domɔt, yu kin tink wantɛm wantɛm se, "I rili vɛks ɛn i de tray fɔ kɔl mi." Dis min se yu nɔ de ɛksplen wetin i de du. Yu si di tin we apin as sɔntin we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ imajin, we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ bia, ɛn we de mek yu kɔnfyus. |
| Di we aw pɔsin de biev we i de rɔnawe | Yu kin fil se yu nid fɔ rɔnawe, rɔn, ɔ ayd frɔm di filin we yu de fil. Ɔ yu kin ala ɔ kray wantɛm wantɛm, ɛn tray fɔ dɔn di tin kwik kwik wan. Dis kin rili fiba di difens rispכns na wi bren we dεn kכl (fεt, flay, כ friz) . Dat min se di bren de tray fɔ sev yu frɔm wan denja, strɛsful tin. |
| Fɔnkshɔn dɛn we nɔ ɔganayz | We yu bren go insay ‘survival mode’, we min se i bigin fɔ tek difensiv mɛsej, yu kin lɔs di ebul fɔ tink klia wan. Yu nɔ ebul fɔ disayd fɔ du sɔntin we mek sɛns, fɔ mek wan agyumɛnt we gɛt wanwɔd, ɔ fɔ kɔntinyu fɔ gɛt kol at. Dis kayn mental kɔnfyushɔn na bak wan impɔtant sayn fɔ Emotional Flooding. |
Wetin na di tin dɛn we kin mek dis tin apin?
Pan ɔl we dɛn bin de tɔk fɔs bɔt aw pɔsin kin fil we i kam pan mared pipul dɛn, risach dɔn sho naw se i kin apin pan ɛni rilayshɔnship.
Mared ɔ in lɔv
Bɔku tɛm dɛn kin si dis sityueshɔn pan rilayshɔnship, mɔ pan di wan dɛn usay intimate partner violence (IPV) kin apin . Bɔt nɔto jɔs dɛn kayn padi biznɛs dɛn de nɔmɔ i de du. Kɔnflikt kin apin bak bitwin ɔdinari mared pipul dɛn. Bɔt pɔrsin wae kin gɛt dis kayn pwɛl hat sik kin pasmak pan ivin if in patna vɛks smɔl. Dɔn di kɔmyunikeshɔn bitwin dɛn tu kin pwɛl kpatakpata. Dɛn kayn mared pipul dɛn ya nɔ kin ebul fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm dɛn bak.
Bitwin mama ɛn papa ɛn pikin dɛn
Wi kin si dis bak bitwin mama ɛn papa ɛn pikin dɛn. Ɛspɛshali we pikin dɛn gɛt prɔblɛm wit aw dɛn de biev. Di mɔ di pikin in bihayvya prɔblɛm, na di mɔ i go mɔs bi se mama ɛn papa dɛn we gɛt Imɔshɔnal Flɔd go ansa di pikin bad bad wan. Dɛn kin yuz bad we fɔ pɔnish di pikin, ɔ dɛn kin vɛks pan di pikin ɔltɛm. Wetin kin apin ya na dat di mama ɛn papa kin mistek ɛksplen di pikin in bihayvya , kin vɛks pan am, ɛn pɔnish di pikin bad bad wan fɔ stɔp di bihayvya.
Insay wan nɔmal ɛnvayrɔmɛnt
Dis nɔto jɔs fɔ rilayshɔnship. Imajin se yu drɔp wan plet na di kichin ɛn brok am. Pan ɔl we i nɔto big tin, i kin fil lɛk se na big big disasta. Yu kin vɛks so ɛn want fɔ rɔnawe pan di tin we apin sote yu want fɔ kɔmɔt de we yu nɔ pik di plet dɛn we dɔn brok.
Di rilayshɔn bitwin di imɔshɔnal flɔd ɛn trauma
Strɔng kɔnekshɔn de bitwin di traumatik tin dɛn we bin dɔn apin trade ɛn di Imɔshɔnal Flɔd.
Pipul wae dɛn bin dɔn trit ɔr trit bad trade kin gɛt dis sik. Trauma na in bɔdi, lɛk wae pɔrsin gɛt bad bad injury na in bren, kin mek pɔrsin in maynd ɛn bihayvya chenj bak, ɛn dis kin mek i fil fayn.
Nɔto dat nɔmɔ, pikin dɛn we dɛn mama ɛn papa bin pɔnish bad bad wan we dɛn bin smɔl, kin gɛt prɔblɛm dɛn lɛk dis we dɛn kin fil bad we dɛn dɔn big.
Aw fɔ rɔnawe ɛn kɔntrol dis tin we de apin?
Flɔd we de mek pɔsin fil bad na kɔmpleks prɔblɛm, so no wan saiz sɔlv nɔ de. Bɔt tin dɛn de we wi kin du fɔ mek wi ebul fɔ kɔntrol am.
1. Tek tɛm aut.
Dis na di tin we simpul ɛn kwik pas ɔl we yu go ebul fɔ du. Ɛnitɛm we yu ɔ yu patna fil se dɛn filin ya de kam, step away frɔm di situeshɔn fɔ sɔm tɛm. Afta lɛk 20 minit we wi dɔn de apat ɛn kol, di kayn we aw dɛn filin dɛn de go stɔp.
Mama ɛn papa dɛnsɛf kin yuz dis we. If yu fil dis kayn we we yu de wit yu pikin, bifo yu du di pikin wantɛm wantɛm, step away frɔm di tin we de apin fɔ sɔm tɛm. Put di pikin na say we sef, go na ɔda rum ɛn kol. I rili impɔtant fɔ gɛt pɔsin fɔ ɛp yu di tɛm dɛn lɛk dis. Aks yu padi ɔ fambul we yu kin abop pan fɔ wach yu pikin te yu kol.
2. Lan di skil dɛm fɔ bia wit prɔblɛm
If dis kin apin bɔku tɛm, i impɔtant fɔ go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok . Yu kin tɔk to yu dɔktɔ ɛn gɛt riferal to wan kwalifay mɛntɛl hεlth pɔrsin. Tru tritmɛnt ɔr advays, yu kin lan aw fɔ kɔntrol yu filin ɛn kol yu maynd pan tɛm lɛk dis.
Di man ɛn in wɛf kin bɛnifit bɔku frɔm di advays we dɛn kin gi di wan dɛn we mared , we kin ɛp dɛn ɔl tu fɔ ɔndastand di tin we de apin ɛn lan bɛtɛ we fɔ sɔlv di prɔblɛm.
3. Lɛf rileshɔnship dɛn we de trit yu bad.
If yu de pan rilayshɔnship we de trit yu bad, di impɔtant tin fɔ du bifo yu tink bɔt Emotional Flooding na fɔ aks fɔ ɛp fɔ kɔmɔt na di rileshɔnship . Dis kin at fɔ du yu wan. Duya, luk fɔ ɛp fɔ kɔmɔt de. Wan padi we yu kin abop pan, yu fambul, ɔ yu dɔktɔ.Tɔk to pɔsin bɔt dis ɛn gɛt di sɔpɔt we yu nid.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Emotional flooding na ɛkspiriɛns wae de filin kin kam pasmak ɛn yu nɔr kin ebul fɔ kɔntrol yu filin. I nɔto wikɛd tin na yu pat.
- Dis kin apin pan ɛni rileshɔnship, ɔ ivin we yu wan de.
- Fɔ no di sayn dɛm na di fɔs tin we yu fɔ du (fɔ tink bɔt tin dɛn we nɔ rayt, fɔ want fɔ rɔnawe, fɔ fil se yu kɔnfyus).
- Tεm lεk dis, "timeout," we min fכ kכmכt frכm di ples fכ sכm tεm, na di bεst εn kwik we fכ mek yu maynd kol.
- If dis sik de afɛkt yu layf ɔltɛm, duya go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok. Nɔ shem fɔ tɔk to yu dɔktɔ ɔ pɔsin we de gi yu advays.
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