Di pen , sɔri-at, ɛn de wangren we wi kin fil we wi lɔs pɔsin ɔ sɔntin we rili valyu na wi layf, i nɔ kin izi fɔ tɔk bɔt. I tan lɛk se dɛn mek wan big big ples we nɔ gɛt natin insay wi. Dis na wetin wi jos de kol ‘Grief’. Dis na rili natura l rispכns. Wi ɔl de dil wit dis ɛkspiriɛns difrɛn we dɛn. Bɔt if yu ɔndastand aw yu de fil, tek kia ɔf yusɛf, ɛn aks fɔ ɛp usay nid de, yu go ebul fɔ win dis pen.
Wetin na di tin dɛn we kin mek pɔsin fil bad?
Sɔri-at na di we aw wi kin dil wit pɔsin we lɔs na layf. Bɔrku tɛm, dis kin gɛt fɔ du wit wae pɔrsin wae de nia wi day, bɔt pwɛl hat kin kam wit ɛnitin wae de mek big difrɛns na wi layf. Tink bɔt dis, tin dɛn lɛk dis kin mek yu fil bad ɛn fil bad:
- Di day we yu padi, fambul, patna, ɔ animal we yu lɛk dɔn day.
- We mared-os ɔ tayt padi biznɛs skata.
- Fɔ se gudbai to di os, provins, ɔ kɔmyuniti usay pɔsin de.
- Ɛnd ɔf wok ɔ wok.
- Lɔs fɔ di faynɛns stebiliti.
- Nɔ ebul fɔ du sɔntin we yu dɔn drim ɔ we yu want fɔ du na layf.
- Fɔ lɔs wɛl bɔdi ɔr gɛt sik wae nɔr de dɔn.
- Di ɛnd fɔ dɛn yɔŋ tɛm.
- Nɔ ebul fɔ bɔn pikin.
- Lɔs layf bifo pɔsin gɛt disabled ɔ sik.
- Di sɔri-at we kin apin pan pɔsin in layf as i de rɛdi fɔ day.
Yu tink se difrɛn kayn sɔri-at de?
Yɛs, wi kin sheb pwɛl hat to difrɛn kayn wae dɛn kin dipen pan aw wi kin dil wit am. We yu no dis, dat go ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand aw yu de fil.
| Di kayn we aw pɔsin kin kray | Wan simpul ɛksplen |
|---|---|
| Sɔri-at we Nɔ Kɔmplikt | Dis na di kayn we we pipul dɛn kin gɛt mɔ. De sayn dɛm fɔ pwɛl hat kin tranga pasmak insay di fɔs 6 mɔnt afta yu dɔn lɔs, bɔt dɛn kin stɔp smɔl smɔl as tɛm de go. |
| Grif we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de op fɔ | Sɔri-at kin bigin fɔ kam bifo di pɔsin we dɔn lɔs. Fɔ ɛgzampul, dis kin apin we pɔsin we de nia yu kam fɔ no se dɛn gɛt wan sik we de mek dɛn nɔ ebul fɔ mɛn. |
| Inhibited Grif we Dɛn Nɔ De Du | Dis kayn tin kin apun wae yu de stɔp filin lɛk pwɛl hat ɛn pen ɛn tray nɔr fɔ tink bɔt dɛm. Dis kin mek yu gɛt prɔblɛm wit yu bɔdi lɛk wae yu nɔr de slip fayn ɛn yu nɔr kin ebul fɔ blo fayn (panik atak). |
| Kɔmplikɛt Sɔri-at | Sɔntɛnde, pwɛl hat nɔ kin bɛtɛ as tɛm de go. Yu kɔntinyu fɔ kray ɛn yu nɔ ebul fɔ aksept di lɔs. Dɛn kɔl dis kɔmplikɛt sɔri-at. If yu gɛt ɛni wan pan dɛn sayn ya, mek shɔ se yu go to yu dɔktɔ: - Nɔ ebul fɔ du nɔmal wok dɛn we pɔsin kin du ɛvride. - Siriɔs pwɛl hat filin. - Fɔ fil se layf nɔ gɛt minin. - Tink bɔt fɔ du bad to yusɛf. - Fɔ blem yusɛf ɔltɛm. |
| Sɔri-at we De Delay | Nɔr fil bad fɔ de lɔs di tɛm wae i apin, bɔt fɔ bigin fil dɛn filin ya wik, mɔnt, maybe ivin ia afta dat. |
| Kumulativ Grif | Dis sityueshɔn kin apin we yu gɛt fɔ dil wit bɔku bɔku lɔs dɛn di sem tɛm. Fɔ ɛgzampul, we yu lɔs yu wok we yu mared de skata. Dis kin mek di we aw pɔsin de kray at mɔ. |
| Dizayd we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de kray fɔ lɔng tɛm | Dis tan lɛk kɔmplikɛt sɔri-at. Di pwɛl at kin so bad dat i kin ambɔg di layf we wi de liv ɛvride. Di pwɛl at nɔ kin stɔp as tɛm de go. Dis rili nid fɔ mek pɔsin we sabi du di wok ɛp am. |
Wetin na de 5 men tin wae kin mek pɔrsin fil bad?
Wan dɔktɔ we de mɛn sayɛns we nem Ɛlizabɛt Kublɛr-Rɔs ( ELISA) .Akɔdin to Dɔktɔ beth Kubler-Ross, wi kin go tru 5 men stej dɛn we wi kam fɔ gri wit wan lɔs. Bɔt mɛmba se nɔto ɔlman kin go tru ɔl dɛn stej ya ɔdasay. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin skip sɔm stej dɛn, ɔ dɛn kin go bak ɛn kam bak. Dat na rili nɔmal tin.
- 1. Denial: We wi fos lan se wi don los, na normal tin fo tink se, "Dis no fit bi se e de hapun," "Dis no bi rial." Dis na wan tɛmporari difens mɛkanism wae wi maynd de yuse bikɔs i nɔr kin ebul fɔ handle di sɔdɛn pen.
- 2. Vɛks: As yu de kam fɔ no di trut smɔl smɔl, yu kin bigin fɔ fil di pen we yu lɔs. Dis kin mek pɔsin fil bad ɛn i nɔ kin ebul fɔ du ɛnitin. Leta, dɛn filin ya kin tɔn to vɛksteshɔn. Dis vɛks kin apin to ɔda pipul dɛn, to Gɔd, ɔ pan layf in jɔnaral. Na nɔmal tin bak fɔ mek yu vɛks pan di pɔsin we lɛf yu.
- 3. Bargayning: Insay dis stej, pipul dɛn kin tink ɔltɛm bɔt wetin dɛn bin fɔ dɔn du fɔ mek dɛn nɔ lɔs. Tink lɛk "If a bin dɔn du dat..." "Wetin mek dis apin?" bɔku tɛm kin kam na mi maynd. Sɔm kin ivin tray fɔ mek agrimɛnt wit Gɔd.
- 4. Pwɛl hat: We de lɔs ɛn di impak we i gɛt pan yu layf bigin fɔ rili sink insay, yu kin fil bad bad wan. Yu kin si sayn dɛm lɛk fɔ kray pasmak, slip prɔblɛm, ɛn nɔr kin want fɔ it na dis stej. Yu kin fil se yu at kin bi, yu de fil se yu wangren de, ɛn yu kin rigrɛt.
- 5. Akseptɛns: Dis na di las stej fɔ sɔri. Na ya, yu aksept di rial tin bɔt di lɔs. Yu no se dɛn nɔ go ebul fɔ chenj am. Pan ɔl we di pen stil de, yu ebul fɔ go bifo wit yu layf.
Aw pwɛl at kin afɛkt yu bɔdi ɛn maynd?
We pɔsin lɔs, dat kin mek di maynd ɛn di bɔdi strɛs bad bad wan. Dis kin mek yu gɛt difrɛn kayn sik dɛn na yu bɔdi ɛn maynd.
| Di Simptom dɛn na di bɔdi | Di Simptom dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de fil |
|---|---|
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Wetin na ‘Grief Trigger’?
Dis rili impɔtant. ‘Trigger’ na sɔntin we de mɛmba yu wantɛm wantɛm bɔt di pɔsin ɔ di tin we apin we yu lɔs. I kin bi ɛnitin, lɛk siŋ, smel, ples, it, spɛshal de. Sɔmtɛm lɛk dis, yu kin fil bad bad wan wantɛm wantɛm lɛk fɔ fil bad ɔ fɔ vɛks. Dis na nɔmal tin.
Wetin dɛn kin du fɔ kɔmɔt na dis kayn tin?
Fɔ dil wit pwɛl hat na prɔblɛm. Bɔt we dɛn de we yu go ɛp. Mɛmba se fɔ tek drɔgs, fɔ drink rɔm, fɔ it pasmak, ɔ fɔ gɛt adikshɔn to wok nɔto we fɔ mek yu nɔ fil pen. Dɛn na jɔs fɔ rɔnawe fɔ shɔt tɛm nɔmɔ. Bifo dat, tray dɛn tin ya:
- Gi yusɛf tɛm: Sɔri-at na tin we kin apin. I kin tek tɛm fɔ mek yu ebul fɔ win am. Aksept di we aw yu de fil.
- Tɔk to ɔda pipul dɛn: Spɛn tɛm wit yu padi ɛn fambul dɛn. Nɔ de yu wan. Share wetin de pan yu maynd.
- Tek kia ɔf yusɛf: ɛksesaiz fayn, it tin dɛn we gɛt fayn fayn tin dɛn fɔ it, ɛn slip fayn.
- Go bak insay di tin dɛn we yu lɛk: Ridiskɔba di tin dɛn we yu lɛk fɔ du we bin mek yu gladi.
- Join wan sɔpɔt grup: We yu tɔk to ɔda pipul dɛn we de kray di sem we aw yu de fil, dat go ɛp yu fɔ lɛ yu nɔ fil se yu wangren de.
If yu sɔri de ambɔg yu ɛvride woke ɛn yu stil nɔr de fil fayn afta 6 mɔnt, i impɔtant fɔ go to pɔrsin wae sabi yu. Fɔ tɔk to kɔstɔma/tɛrapist kin ɛp yu fɔ kɔntrol aw yu de fil. Tɔk to yu dɔktɔ bɔt dis ɛn gɛt advays.
Aw yu go ɛp pɔsin we in at pwɛl?
If yu padi ɔ yu fambul de go tru dis kayn pwɛl at, yu kin ɛp dɛn.
- Bi wit dɛn: Aks dɛn wetin dɛn nid. Na fɔ tɔk, fɔ go waka, ɔ fɔ ɛp ɔda pɔsin? Sɔpɔt dɛn ɛni we we dɛn nid.
- Ɛp di rayt we: Ivin smɔl ɛp, lɛk fɔ go na di stoa ɛn kam wit sɔntin, fɔ mek it, ɔ fɔ tek di pikin dɛn na skul, kin mek big difrɛns sɔntɛnde.
- Bi gud lisin: Mek dɛn tɔk. Lisin pas aw yu de tɔk.
- Nɔ minimiz dɛn lɔs: Nɔ ɛva tɔk tin lɛk, "I nɔ big so," ɔ "Fɔgɛt am naw ɛn muf go bifo."
- Nɔr go rawnd de tɔk fayn fayn tin dɛm: "I de go fayn," "I de na bɛtɛ ples naw," ɛn ɔda tin dɛm kin bi disrɛspɛkt to dɛn filin. Alaw dɛn fɔ kray ɔnɛs wan. Na wan pat we nid fɔ de pan di hiling prɔses.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Sɔri-at na tin we pɔsin kin du we i gɛt ɛni kayn pɔsin we i lɔs. I nɔto wikɛd tin.
- Ɔlman kin bia wit pwɛl at difrɛn we. No rayt ɔ rɔŋ we nɔ de fɔ du am.
- Difrɛn kayn ɛn stej dɛn de fɔ mek pɔsin fil bad. We yu ɔndastand dɛn tin ya, dat go ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand aw yu de fil.
- Sɔri-at kin afɛkt yu bɔdi ɛn yu maynd.
- Nɔto yu wan de win dis pen. Nɔ shek fɔ aks fɔ ɛp frɔm pɔsin we sabi du in wok ɛn fɔ mek di wan dɛn we yu lɛk fɔ sɔpɔt yu.
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