Ukwamkela umntwana sisigqibo esimangalisayo nesinothando ngokwenene. Kuzisa ubomi obutsha novuyo kusapho. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba siqale olu hambo luhle, ngaba kufuneka siqaphele ngakumbi imingeni yempilo enokujongana nayo umntwana oza kujoyina usapho lwakho ekuqaleni kobomi bakhe? Kuba, olo lwazi kunye nokulungiselela yiyo enika wena kunye nomntwana wakho omtsha isiqalo esilungileyo nesikhuselekileyo kusapho.
Ngamafutshane, yintoni ukwamkelwa komntwana?
Ngamafutshane, ukuthathwa komntwana yinkqubo yentlalo, yeemvakalelo, neyomthetho apho umntwana ongakhuliswanga ngabazali bakhe bokwemvelo aba lilungu losapho olunye. Olu asiloxwebhu nje lomthetho. Luthetha ukuba umntwana unikwa uthando, inkathalo, ukhuseleko, kunye nosapho oluzinzileyo. ESri Lanka, oku kungenziwa ngamakhaya eenkedama, amaziko abucala, okanye ngezalamane (umzekelo, umntwana wesalamane esisondeleyo). Kuyo yonke le nkqubo, kuya kufuneka usebenzisane ngokusondeleyo namagqwetha, abasebenzi bezentlalo, ingakumbi oogqirha babantwana.
Ugqirha wakho wezingane ngoyena mntu unamandla kakhulu kolu hambo. Nguye oza kukufundisa nokukukhokela malunga neemfuno zomntwana wakho zomzimba, zengqondo, zophuhliso nezeemvakalelo.
Ziziphi izizathu zokwanda kweengozi zempilo kubantwana abakhuliswa ngabanye abantu?
Njengaye nawuphi na umntwana, abantwana abakhuliswe ngabanye abazali banokufumana naluphi na ukugula. Nangona kunjalo, uphando lubonise ukuba aba bantwana basengozini enkulu yokuphuhlisa iingxaki zomzimba, zengqondo nezokukhula xa kuthelekiswa nabanye abantwana.
Eyona sizathu siphambili soku ngamava amabi abajongene nawo kwasebuntwaneni. Kwizonyango, siwabiza la mava amabi obuntwana (ACEs) . La mangozi ayinyani, kodwa ngothando lwakho, inkathalo, kunye neengcebiso zonyango ezifanelekileyo, loo mntwana uya kufumana amandla amakhulu okoyisa zonke ezi ngxaki aze akhule esempilweni kwaye onwabile.
Nazi ezinye zezizathu eziphambili zokuba loo mingcipheko inyuke:
- Ukungabikho kokhathalelo olufanelekileyo lwempilo ngexesha lokukhulelwa nasemva kokubeleka: Umama usenokungafumani izondlo ezifunekayo, iivithamini, kunye novavanyo lwezonyango ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Usenokuphoswa nakukugonywa okufunekayo kunye nonyango lweklinikhi emva kokuba umntwana ezelwe.
- Ukunqongophala kokutya: Ukungondleki kakuhle ngexesha lobuntwana kuchaphazela ngqo ukukhula komntwana.
- Iimfuno zeemvakalelo ezingafezekiswanga:Uthando, ukufudumala, kunye nokhuseleko lomntwana (aravaṇaippu - ukufudumala/ukugoba - igama lesiTamil ngamanye amaxesha lisetyenziswa ngokwesiqhelo, kodwa kufuneka ndiliphephe ngokomyalelo. Ndiza kuliphinda igama) Uthando, ukufudumala, kunye nokhuseleko lomntwana zibalulekile ekuphuhlisweni kwengqondo. Xa ezi zinto zingabonelelwanga, zinokuba nemiphumo yexesha elide.
- Ukuchanabeka kwizinto ezinobungozi: Ukusebenzisa kukamama utywala, icuba, njl. ngexesha lokukhulelwa, okanye indawo ahlala kuyo umntwana kuyingozi empilweni.
- Ukonzakala: Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana (ngokomzimba, ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwesondo), ukwahlukana nabazali, utshintsho oluqhubekayo ekugcinweni, ukubona ubundlobongela basekhaya, njl. njl. kunempembelelo engenakucingelwa ekuphuhlisweni kwengqondo yomntwana kunye nempilo yengqondo. Uxinzelelo olungapheliyo olubangelwa zizinto ezinjalo lunokutshintsha ukusebenza kwenkqubo yehomoni yomzimba kwaye lukhokelele kwizifo zomzimba ezihlala ixesha elide.
Ziziphi iingxaki zempilo eziqhelekileyo?
Makhe sixoxe ngemiba eqhelekileyo yempilo ebonwa kubantwana abakhuliswa ngabanye. Ayingabo bonke abantwana abanazo ezi zinto, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba bazazi.
Iimeko Zomzimba
Ezi meko zidla ngokubangelwa kukungabikho kokutya okufanelekileyo okanye unyango lwezonyango kwiminyaka yokuqala yomntwana.
| Imeko yomzimba | Ingcaciso elula |
|---|---|
| Ukusilela kokukhula kunye nokunqongophala kwezondlo | Ukungabi nobude nobunzima obufanele iminyaka yakho. Izinto ezifana ne-iron, i-calcium, kunye ne-vitamin D zisenokungabikho emzimbeni. |
| Isifuba | Ubunzima bokuphefumla kunye nokunganyamezelani neenkqubo zokuphefumla. |
| Ukutyeba kakhulu | Abanye abantwana banokuba nokutyeba kakhulu emva kokungondleki kakuhle baze batye kakhulu xa beqala ukufumana ukutya okanye ngenxa yezizathu zengqondo. |
| Ukuphazamiseka kokubona nokuva | Ezi zinokuba nzima ngakumbi ukuba azifunyaniswa kwaye azinyangwa zisencinci. |
| Iingxaki zamazinyo | Iingxaki ezinje ngokubola kwamazinyo zixhaphakile ngenxa yokungawusebenzisi kakuhle umkhwa wokucoca amazinyo. |
Impilo Yeemvakalelo Nengqondo
Ukwahlukanisa umntwana nosapho lwakhe lokuqala nendawo ayiqhelileyo yintlungu enkulu yengqondo kumntwana okuphela kwakhe. Kuthatha ixesha ukuba umntwana aqhelane nekhaya elitsha nosapho. Ngeli xesha, umntwana usenokubonakalisa olu hlobo lokuziphatha.
- Ukuzama ukuba wedwa, ungathethi.
- Ukuziphatha ngendlela engenankathalo, ukuba nomsindo.
- Ukulila rhoqo.
- Ubunzima bokulala (uloyiko lokulala, ukungalali).
- Ukungabi namdla kwizinto obukade uzonwabela.
Musa ukoyika xa ubona olu hlobo lokuziphatha. Le yindlela umntwana abonakalisa ngayo usizi lwakhe, uloyiko lwakhe, kunye nokungaqiniseki kwakhe. Umonde wakho, uthando lwakho, kunye nokuqonda kwakho kubaluleke kakhulu ngeli xesha. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba le meko iyaqhubeka, kubalulekile ukuthetha nogqirha womntwana kwaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, ufune uncedo kugqirha wengqondo yomntwana.
Ngenxa yeziganeko ezibuhlungu ezenzeka ebuntwaneni, abanye abantwana basengozini yokuhlaselwa zizifo ezithile zempilo yengqondo.
- Iingxaki zokuxhalaba: Ukuhlala uziva uloyiko kwaye urhanela.
- Uxinzelelo: Usizi oluhlala ixesha elide, ukukhungatheka.
- Ingxaki yoxinzelelo emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu (PTSD): Iinkumbulo eziphindaphindiweyo zesiganeko esibuhlungu esidlulileyo kunye noloyiko lwezinto ezinxulumene naso.
- Iingxaki zokutya: Ukutya kancinci kakhulu okanye kakhulu ngenxa yezizathu zengqondo.
Imiba Yokuziphatha Nophuhliso
Amava adlulileyo achaphazela ngqo indlela umntwana aziphatha ngayo kunye nophuhliso lwakhe.
- Ubunzima bokulawula iimvakalelo: Ukuba nomsindo ogqithisileyo okanye ukucaphuka ngenxa yezinto ezincinci.
- Ukuziphatha ndlongondlongo: ukubetha abanye, ukuphosa izinto.
- Ingxaki yokungakwazi ukunikel’ ingqalelo/yokungasebenzi kakhulu (ADHD): Ukungakwazi ukuhlala kwindawo enye, ukuphazamiseka lula, kunye nokungaphumli.
- Ukulibaziseka kokuthetha: Ukungakwazi ukuthetha ngendlela efanelekileyo ngokweminyaka.
- Ubunzima bokufunda: Ubunzima bokugxila kumsebenzi wesikolo.
Ulwazi lwezempilo ekufuneka ulufunde ngaphambi kokuba uthathe umntwana
Ngaphambi okanye kwangoko nje kokuba umntwana wakho ejoyine usapho lwakho, zama ukuqokelela ulwazi oluninzi lwempilo ngangokunokwenzeka ngaye. Olu lwazi luya kukunceda wena kunye nogqirha womntwana wakho ukuba nibonelele ngononophelo olungcono kumntwana wakho. Ngamanye amaxesha kusenokungabi lula ukufumana lonke olu lwazi. Kodwa zama kangangoko unako.
Ulwazi olubalulekileyo oza kuzama ukulifumana:
- Imbali yezonyango yomntwana:
- Ziziphi iimeko zempilo umntwana anazo ngoku okanye ebenazo ngaphambili?
- Ngaba ukhe walala esibhedlele? Ngaba ukhe watyandwa?
- Ngawaphi amayeza asetyenziswayo ngoku?
- Ngaba umntwana une-allergies?
- Zeziphi izitofu ezinikiweyo? (Kunganceda kakhulu ukuba ungafumana ikhadi lokugonya)
- Iingxelo zovavanyo lwegazi lwangaphambili, iiskeni, njl.njl.
- Ulwazi olunxulumene nokuzalwa:
- Ubunzima bokuzalwa, ubude, kunye nokujikeleza kwentloko.
- Zingaphi iiveki ozelwe ngazo? (Ngaba yayikukuzalwa ngaphambi kwexesha?)
- Ngaba bekukho naziphi na iingxaki ngexesha okanye emva kokubeleka?
- Ulwazi malunga nokukhulelwa kukamama:
- Ingaba umama wayesebenzisa utywala okanye icuba ngexesha lokukhulelwa?
- Ingaba umama wayenazo naziphi na izifo (umz. izifo ezidluliselwa ngesondo) ngelo xesha?
- Imbali yezonyango yosapho:
- Zeziphi izifo ezizuzwa njengelifa (umz., isifo seswekile, isifo sentliziyo, umhlaza) abazali bomntwana kunye nabantakwabo abanazo? Oku kunokuba nzima ukukufumanisa, kodwa kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba kunokwenzeka.
- Uphuhliso kunye neMbali yeNtlalo:
- Ulwazi malunga nezigaba zokukhula komntwana (ubudala awayekhasa, ehamba, kwaye ethetha ngabo).
- Iingxelo zokuba umntwana uxhatshaziwe okanye akahoywanga.
- Ukuba ubukhe waya esikolweni, injani imisebenzi yesikolo?
Indima kagqirha wezingane kolu hambo
Kwintsapho ekhulisa umntwana, ugqirha wabantwana ungumkhokeli, umcebisi, kunye nomhlobo osenyongweni. Indima yakhe ingaphezulu nje kokumnika amayeza esigulo.
- Siza kuhlalutya ulwazi lwezonyango oluqokelelweyo malunga nomntwana wakho size sikwazise ngalo naluphi na unyango olukhethekileyo umntwana wakho anokulufuna.
- Kwangoko nje umntwana ejoyina intsapho, kwenziwa uvavanyo olupheleleyo lomzimba nolwengqondo ukuze kuchongwe naziphi na iingxaki ezingafunyaniswanga.
- Ukuba umntwana ufuna uncedo lweengcali (umz., ugqirha wengqondo yabantwana, ingcali yentliziyo, ingcali yokuthetha), baya kuthunyelwa kuloo nto.
- Uza kunikwa iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokujongana neengxaki zeemvakalelo ezinokuvela njengoko umntwana wakho eqhelana nosapho olutsha.
- Sikufundisa iindlela zokunceda ekwakheni ulwalamano oluqinileyo phakathi komntwana nosapho.
- Ukugonywa komntwana kunye nempilo yakhe ngokubanzi zihlala zijongwa.
Oku kuyichaphazela njani intsapho yonke?
Xa umntwana omtsha efika kusapho, kunokuba lutshintsho olukhulu kuye wonke umntu ekhaya. Oku kunokuba yinyani ngakumbi ukuba kukho abanye abantwana ekhaya.
- Umona phakathi kwabantwana bakowenu: Abanye abantwana banokuvakalelwa kukuba umntwana omtsha ufumana ingqalelo engakumbi. Oku kunokubangela ukuba babe nomsindo kwaye babe nomona. Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokujongana noku kukuchitha ixesha nabanye abantwana bodwa. Benze bazive ngathi basakhethekile.
- Ukudinwa Ngumntu Onyamekela Abantwana: Abazali banokuziva bediniwe ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo xa benyamekela umntwana oneemfuno ezikhethekileyo. Oku kuqhelekile. Kubalulekile ukuzinyamekela, ukuthatha ikhefu, kunye nokufuna inkxaso kubahlobo abathembekileyo. Musa ukuthandabuza ukufuna uncedo kumcebisi ukuba kuyimfuneko.
Ingaba ukulungele ngokwenene olu xanduva?
Esi sisigqibo sobomi bonke. Ngoko ke ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokukhulisa umntwana, zibuze le mibuzo.
* Kutheni ndifuna ukukhulisa umntwana? Zithini iinjongo zam?
* Ngaba ndingamlungiselela umntwana indawo enothando, ezinzileyo nekhuselekileyo ayidingayo?
* Ngaba ndinamandla ezemali nangokweemvakalelo okuhlangabezana neemfuno zempilo ezikhethekileyo kunye neemfuno zemfundo umntwana anokuzidinga?
* Ngaba ndikulungele ukummela loo mntwana esikolweni, esibhedlele, nasekuhlaleni?
* Ngaba ndikulungele ukufunda ngeemfuno ezikhethekileyo zaba bantwana ndize ndiziqhelanise ngokufanelekileyo?
* Ngaba ndinalo iqela labahlobo abalungileyo nezalamane ukuze bandincede kwaye babelane ngezinto ezindivuyisayo nezindibuhlungu?
Akunakwenzeka ukulungiselela yonke into kwangaphambili, kodwa okukhona uyiqonda kakuhle imeko, kokukhona kuya kuba lula kuwe nakwilungu lakho elitsha losapho.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukukhulisa umntwana luxanduva olunothando nolukhulu. Aba bantwana basenokuba neemfuno ezikhethekileyo zempilo yomzimba nengqondo ngenxa yamava abo angaphambili.
- Ngaphambi kokuba wongeze umntwana kusapho lwakho, fumana ulwazi oluninzi kangangoko malunga nembali yakhe yezonyango kunye nemvelaphi yosapho.
- Ugqirha wakho wezingane ngumcebisi nomxhasi ongcono kakhulu kolu hambo. Thetha naye ngayo yonke into ngokukhululekileyo.
- Njengomntwana wakho, khathalela impilo yakho yengqondo kunye neyamanye amalungu osapho njengoko behamba kolu tshintsho. Fumana uncedo ukuba luyimfuneko.
- Umonde, uthando, nokuqonda zezona zinto zixabisekileyo onazo kolu hambo.
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