Ngamanye amaxesha sibona utshintsho olukhawulezileyo kwindlela abanye abantwana abaziphatha ngayo. Umntwana owayedla ngokuhleka, ebaleka aze adlale ngequbuliso uthula, ahlale yedwa egumbini, okanye abonakale esoyika ngalo lonke ixesha. Mhlawumbi ubona imivumbo nemikrwelo emzimbeni wonke womntwana. Xa sibona ezi zinto, siziva umbuzo omkhulu kunye noloyiko ezintliziyweni zethu, "Ingaba kukho into engalunganga ngalo mntwana?" Nantsi ingongoma ebucayi kakhulu nenzulu ekufuneka siyiqaphele sonke njengoluntu, oko kukuthi, ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana.
Ngamafutshane, yintoni ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana?
Ukuxhatshazwa komntwana kukwenzakalisa okanye ukungamhoyi umntwana ngabom ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwengqondo. Eyona nto ibuhlungu kukuba uninzi lwexesha, olu xhatshazo lwenziwa ngumntu amaziyo nomethembayo umntwana. Lo mntu unokuba ngumzali, isalamane esisondeleyo, umntu onyamekela umntwana, okanye umhlobo wosapho.
Ngokomthetho waseSri Lanka, kunye nomthetho wamazwe amaninzi kwihlabathi liphela, naluphi na uhlobo lokuxhaphaza ngabom, ukuhlukumeza, okanye ukungahoywa komntwana ongaphantsi kweminyaka eli-18 ubudala luthathwa njengolwaphulo-mthetho olukhulu .
Ziziphi iintlobo eziphambili zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana?
Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana akupheleli nje kwimo enye kuphela. Kungafika ngeendlela ezininzi. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukwazi oku.
| Uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa | Ithetha ukuba... |
|---|---|
| Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni | Ukubetha, ukutyhala, ukubetha, ukukhaba, ukushukumisa, ukutshisa umntwana, njl. Kwakhona, ukungamvumeli umntwana ukuba anelise iimfuno ezisisiseko ezifana nokutya, ukusela, nokuya kwindlu yangasese kuwela kolu luhlu. |
| Ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo | Ukusoloko ulimaza umntwana ngamazwi. Umzekelo, ukuthuka umntwana, ukumgxeka rhoqo, ukumkhalimela kabukhali, ukumsongela, ukumkhwaza, njl. Oku kuyayonakalisa kakhulu indlela umntwana azihlonipha ngayo. |
| Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo | Ukuxhaphaza umntwana ngokwesondo, ukumchukumisa umntwana ngendlela engafanelekanga, ukusebenzisa umntwana kwiphonografi, okanye ukubonisa umntwana izinto ezinjalo. Olu lulwaphulo-mthetho olubi kakhulu. |
| Ukuxhatshazwa Kwezonyango | Ukuzama ngabom ukugulisa umntwana okanye ukunganyanga isifo somntwana. |
| Ukungahoywa komntwana | Ukungamniki umntwana izinto ezisisiseko azidingayo: ukutya, impahla, ikhaya elikhuselekileyo, imfundo, unyango, ingakumbi uthando nenkathalo. |
Ngaba ukubetha umntwana kukuxhaphaza?
Le yingongoma edla ngokuxoxwa ngayo kuluntu lwethu. Kukho izimvo ezahlukeneyo malunga nokubetha umntwana kancinci ukuze amqeqeshe xa enze impazamo. Kodwa kufuneka sicinge ngale nto ngokwembono yezonyango.
Ukuba umntwana wohlwaywa ngokumbetha ngendlela ebangela inxeba, imivumbo, okanye ukudumba, ngokuqinisekileyo oko kuthathwa njengokuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni .
Uphando lubonise ukuba ukohlwaya abantwana ngokwasemzimbeni (ukubetha) kunokuthintela uphuhliso lwabo lwentlalo. Ngokukodwa, aba bantwana basengozini enkulu yokungazithembi, ukusebenza kakubi kwizifundo zabo, kunye nobudlelwane beentsapho obubuthathaka.
Ngaphambi kokuba wohlwaye umntwana, zibuze le mibuzo:
- Ingaba ndenza oku ukuze ndifundise umntwana into ethile okanye ndifake uloyiko emntwaneni?
- Ngaba umntwana wam uyazi ukuba ndiyamthanda?
- Luhlobo luni lwesifundo endisifundisa umntwana ngesi sigwebo?
- Ngaba ndiza kukwazi ukwaneliseka sesi sigqibo kamva?
Zininzi iindlela ezilungileyo nezisempilweni zokufundisa abantwana ingqeqesho. Kubalulekile ukuthetha nogqirha womntwana wakho ngale nto uze ufumane ingcebiso.
Itshintsha njani indlela umntwana aziphethe ngayo xa exhatshazwa?
Kukho utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela yokuziphatha kunye nendlela yokucinga yomntwana oxhatshazwayo. Ezinye zazo kulula ukuzibona, kodwa ezinye kunzima ukuziqonda.
| Iimpawu ezinokwenzeka ngenxa yemiphumo yokuxhatshazwa | |
|---|---|
| Iimpawu zangaphandle kunye nokuziphatha | |
| Ukuzama ukuziphatha ngendlela engafanelekanga ngokwesondo. | Izikhalazo ezihlala zikho zezifo zomzimba ezifana nesisu esibuhlungu kunye nentloko ebuhlungu. |
| Ukuziphatha okufana nokwabantwana kwakhona (umz., ukumunca iminwe, ukuchama ebhedini ). | Ukuzama ukubaleka ekhaya. |
| Ukuzilimaza (umz. ukunqumla amalungu). | Utshintsho olukhulu olukhawulezileyo kwindlela yokuziphatha. |
| Iimpawu zengqondo ezifihlakeleyo | |
| Ndihlala ndiziva ndixhalabile kwaye ndidandathekile. | Ubunzima bokufunda nokugxila. |
| Ukubonisa iimpawu zokonzakala okukhulu (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD). | Ukungaphuhlisi ngokweemvakalelo. |
| Ukuba nokuzithemba okuphantsi kakhulu. | Amaphupha amabi rhoqo kunye neengcinga zokuzibulala. |
Ukuba sikrokrela ukuba kukho ukuxhatshazwa, simele senze ntoni?
Le yeyona nxalenye ibalulekileyo kweli nqaku. Ukuba unento encinci ocinga ukuba umntwana uyaxhatshazwa, ungaze uyityeshele. Inyathelo elinye elincinci olithathayo linokusindisa ubomi bomntwana bonke.
1. Thetha nomntwana
Ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo, thetha naye ngendlela enobuhlobo neyothando. Menze azive enokukuthemba. Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba angoyiki ukukuxelela inyani, nokuba kukho umntu omxelele ukuba angaxeleli mntu.
2. Cela uncedo ngoko nangoko
Musa ukuyifihla into efana nale ngenxa yoloyiko okanye iintloni. Musa ukoyika ukuba igama lakho liza kutyhilwa xa ucela uncedo. Abasemagunyeni bagcina olo lwazi luyimfihlo.
Iindawo onokuqhagamshelana nazo:
- Ukuba umntwana usengozini ekhawulezileyo: Tsalela umnxeba kwinombolo yongxamiseko yamapolisa engu-119 ngoko nangoko.
- Ukuxela ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana: Fowunela i-National Child Protection Authority (NCPA) evula iiyure ezingama-24 ku-1929. Le yi-arhente ephambili eSri Lanka ezinikele kule njongo.
- Ukuze ufumane ingcebiso yezonyango: Yisa umntwana kwisibhedlele esikufutshane okanye kugqirha wosapho lwakho.
3. Izinto ekufuneka zenziwe nezo kufuneka zingayenziwa
- Gcina umntwana kude nomntu oxhaphazayo de abasemagunyeni baziswe.
- Ungaze usongele umntu orhanelwa ukuba uxhaphaza okanye uzame ukuzithathela umthetho ezandleni zakho. Oku kungayenza ibe mandundu imeko.
Liza kuba njani ikamva lomntwana oxhatshazwayo?
Ukuba ayinyangwa, ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana kunokuba nemiphumo ehlala ixesha elide ebomini bomntwana. Ukongeza ekwenzenikala emzimbeni, kunokukhokelela ekungakwazini ukufunda, kwiingxaki zengqondo, kunye nobunzima bokwakha ubudlelwane nabantu. Kwanaxa sele bekhulile, kukho umngcipheko weengxaki ezinje ngokudakumba, ukuxhomekeka kwiziyobisi, kunye nobunzima bokuthemba abanye.
Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba ikamva lomntwana ngamnye oxhatshazwayo limfiliba. Ngonyango olufanelekileyo kunye neengcebiso, aba bantwana banokuphila ubomi obusempilweni nobonwabisayo kwakhona. Sonke sifanele sibe nalo olo kholo.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uxhatshaziwe, thetha nogqirha wakho uze ubuze le mibuzo:
- Luluphi unyango lomzimba umntwana wam aludingayo ngoku?
- Loluphi uhlobo lonyango oluya kunceda umntwana wam kakhulu?
- Ingaba kuluncedo kuthi njengentsapho ukufuna ingcebiso?
- Ndingamnceda njani umntwana wam ukuba aphile ngokukhawuleza?
- Zeziphi ezinye izinto esingafanele sizithethe okanye sizenze phambi kwabantwana bethu?
Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana yimeko ebuhlungu kakhulu. Kodwa ngokuqaphela oku, ukuqonda iimpawu, nokuthatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo, singabakhusela abantwana. Ukuba ukrokrela ukuxhatshazwa, nceda ungathuli. Khusela umntwana wakho kumxhaphazi kwaye ucele uncedo lweengcali.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana akupheleli nje ekuxhatshazweni ngokwasemzimbeni. Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwengqondo, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo, kunye nokungakhathalelwa kwabantwana nazo ziindlela ezinzulu zokuxhatshazwa.
- Idla ngokuba ngumntu umntwana amazi kakuhle kwaye amthembileyo.
- Ukuba ubona utshintsho olukhawulezileyo nolungachazekiyo kwindlela umntwana aziphatha ngayo okanye aziphatha ngayo, oko kungaba luphawu lokuxhatshazwa.
- Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba umntwana uyaxhatshazwa, musa ukuthula . Yixele ngoko nangoko kwi-National Child Protection Authority ngo-1929 okanye amapolisa ku-119 .
- Unyango olufanelekileyo lwezonyango nolwengqondo lunokunceda umntwana oxhatshaziweyo ukuba aphile ubomi obuphumelelayo.
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