Ngaba abazali bakho bayaqhawula umtshato? (Uqhawulo-mtshato) Singathetha ngale nto?

Ngamanye amaxesha ubomi bentsapho abubuhle kwaye abonwabanga njengoko sicinga, akunjalo? Kusenokufika ixesha apho kuvela iingxaki ezahlukeneyo kunye nokungavisisani phakathi kwabazali, baze bagqibe ekubeni abasakwazi ukuhlala kunye phantsi kophahla olunye. Oku kuqhele ukubizwa ngokuba yi-'uqhawulo-mtshato' okanye `uqhawulo-mtshato' ngesiNgesi. Oku kunokuba lutshintsho olukhulu kuwe nakusapho lwakho lonke, kwaye kunokuba lixesha elinzima. Ngoko ke, masithethe ngale nto ngokweenkcukacha ezithe vetshe, ngendlela onokuyiqonda, ngokulula.

Yintoni kanye kanye uqhawulo-mtshato?

Ngamafutshane, uqhawulo-mtshato luyenzeka xa abantu ababini abatshatileyo, abazali bakho, begqiba kwelokuba abasafuni ukuba yindoda nomfazi kwaye umtshato wabo ufanele uphele. Oku kufana nokubahlukanisa ngokusemthethweni , njengokuba babemanyene ngokusemthethweni xa babetshata. Emva kokusayina amaxwebhu asemthethweni afanelekileyo, baphinda batshata ngokusemthethweni.

Ngamanye amaxesha, bobabini abazali bagqiba ekubeni baqhawule umtshato emva kokuba bethethe baze baqondane. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha ngumntu omnye kuphela ogqiba ekubeni baqhawule umtshato, nokuba omnye umntu akafuni ekuqaleni. Nangona kunjalo, ukwenza isigqibo sokuphelisa umtshato yinto enzima kakhulu. Abazali abaninzi bazama ukusombulula iingxaki zabo nokusindisa usapho ngazo zonke iindlela ezinokwenzeka ngaphambi kokuba baqhawule umtshato. Basenokude basebenzise iingcebiso. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha loo mizamo ayiphumeleli. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukwahlukana sesona sigqibo silungileyo kubo bobabini, mhlawumbi nakusapho lonke, kunokuba babandezeleke kunye.

Ziziphi izizathu zokuba abazali baqhawule umtshato?

Zininzi izizathu zokuba abazali baqhawule umtshato. Kufana nokuba namayeza amaninzi esifo esinye, kwaye izizathu zinokwahluka kumntu ngamnye. Nazi ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo:

• Ukulwa rhoqo kunye nokungavisisani okwenza kube nzima ukuhlala kunye: Khawucinge nje, ukuba bekukho ukulwa nokukhwaza ekhaya qho kusasa, ngaba kukho umntu onokuthi onwabe okanye akhululeke? Xa oko kuqhubeka, mhlawumbi bayaqonda ukuba ukuhlala kunye kuya kwandisa iingxaki kwaye akuzisi nduduzo nakubani na.
• Uthando kunye nobudlelwane obabukho xa wawutshata butshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha: Iintliziyo zabantu ziyatshintsha, akunjalo? Ngoko ke, iimvakalelo zothando kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo owawunabo xa wawutshata zinokuncipha okanye ziphele ngokuhamba kwexesha. Mhlawumbi indlela abacinga nabavakalelwa ngayo itshintshe kakhulu, kwaye banokuqonda ukuba abasafanelani.
• Omnye wabazali uqala ubudlelwane bothando nomnye umntu: Ngamanye amaxesha, umzali, nokuba ngumama okanye ngutata, unokuba nobudlelwane bothando neqabane lakhe ngasese. Xa omnye umntu efumanisa oku, kunokuba ngumothuko omkhulu nosizi, kwaye ukuthembana ababenako emtshatweni kunokupheliswa.
• Iingxaki ezinzulu ezifana notywala okanye ukuxhatshazwa ekhaya:Khawucinge nje, ukuba umntu omnye kusapho usela utywala yonke imihla, uphazamisa abanye kusapho, uchitha imali, okanye ubaxhaphaza ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwengqondo, ngaba kukho umntu kuloo ntsapho onokonwaba? Iingxaki ezinzulu kangaka zinokuba sisizathu esikhulu soqhawulo-mtshato. Izinto ezinjalo zinempembelelo embi kakhulu kwiingqondo zabantwana.
• Nokuba akukho ngxaki inkulu, bobabini bafuna ukuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo: Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba akukho ngxabano inkulu okanye ingxaki enkulu, bobabini bayaqonda ukuba kungcono ukuba bodwa kwaye bahlale bodwa kunokuhlala kunye. Mhlawumbi iinjongo zabo kunye nolindelo lwabo ebomini lutshintshile.

Kunokubakho ezinye izizathu ezininzi ezifana nezi. Into ebalulekileyo kukuqonda ukuba nokuba zithini na izizathu, yingxaki phakathi kwabazali bakho, ayisiyonto unoxanduva lwayo.

Ingaba ndim obangela ukuba abazali bam baqhawule umtshato?

Le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyazi: Akukho mntwana ubangela ukuba abazali baqhawule umtshato. Khumbula loo nto.

Abazali bakho bagqiba ekubeni bahlukane ngenxa yokungavisisani, iingxaki, kunye nokungavisisani phakathi kwabo. Akunanto yakwenza nantoni na oyenzileyo okanye ongayenzanga. Abanye abantwana, ingakumbi abo baselula njengawe, banokucinga izinto ezinje: "Ukuba bendifunde nzima kwaye ndifumene amanqaku angcono kwiimviwo, abazali bam ngebengazange balwe," "Ukuba bendibancedile ngomsebenzi wasekhaya kancinci, ngebengekhe bahlukane," "Ukuba bendingabakhathazi..." Izinto eziliwaka ezinje zinokufika engqondweni yakho.

Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive ngaloo ndlela, ukhathazeke ngento eyenzekileyo. Kodwa, bekungengomntu onetyala, awunakutyhola mntu ngale nto, kwaye akufanele uzityhole. Uyaqonda? Oku kufana nesaqhwithi esikhulu. Isaqhwithi asizi ngenxa yakho. Le yindlela efanayo.

Ndiza kuziva njani xa abazali bam beqhawula umtshato?

Xa abazali bakho behlukana, unokuba neemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo, ngamanye amaxesha zingqubana. Kufana nemozulu: ilanga likhanya ngolunye usuku, lina imvula ngolunye usuku, kwaye linemimoya ngolunye usuku. Yindlela oziva ngayo.

• Usizi: Kuqhelekile ukuba lusizi xa usapho lwakho luvakalelwa kukuba luyaphela, okanye xa abantu ababini obathandayo behlukana.
• Umsindo: Usenokucaphuka kumama wakho, kutata wakho, mhlawumbi nakwihlabathi liphela, ucinga izinto ezinje, "Kutheni oku kusenzeka kum?", "Kutheni bengakwazi ukuzisombulula iingxaki?"
• Ukudana: Kunokuba yinto ecaphukisayo xa uvakalelwa kukuba ubomi bosapho obubuphuphayo kunye nethemba obunalo ngekamva ziyanyamalala.
• Uloyiko kunye nexhala: Usenokuziva usoyika kwaye uxhalabile, ucinga izinto ezinje, "Kuza kwenzeka ntoni emva koko?", "Ngubani oza kundinyamekela?", "Andisayi kuze ndikwazi ukubona umama notata?"
• Ubulolo: Xa abazali babahlobo bakho bekunye, ungaziva unesizungu, ucinga ukuba nguwe wedwa odlula kule meko. Ungade ucinge, "Ndim ndedwa onale ngxaki."
• Ukuziva unetyala: Njengoko besikhe sathetha ngako ngaphambili, ukuziva unetyala kunokuvela ekucingeni, "Ngaba le yayiyimpazamo yam?" Kodwa khumbula, akunjalo.
• Ukuziva ngathi uza kukhusela omnye aze atyhole omnye: Usenokuziva ulusizi ngomama wakho kwaye ucaphukele utata wakho. Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba kube ngenye indlela.
• Ukuziva ukhululekile: Oku kungabonakala kumangalisa kancinci, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ungaziva ukhululekile. Ingakumbi ukuba bekukho ukulwa okuninzi, ukukhwaza, kunye noxinzelelo ekhayeni lakho, ungaziva ukhululekile ekubeni ukhululekile kwezo zinto.

Ukuba uziva zonke ezi mvakalelo, okanye akukho nanye kuzo, okanye nantoni na enye, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba konke kuqhelekile . Awuwedwa ngeli xesha.

Zeziphi iinguqu ezinokwenzeka ngenxa yoqhawulo-mtshato?

Kuxhomekeke kwinto eyenzekayo kusapho lwakho, ezinye izinto ebomini bakho zinokutshintsha xa uqhawule umtshato. Ezinye zezi nguqu zinokuba nzima, kodwa ezinye zinokuba lutshintsho oluhle.

Utshintsho olunzima olunokwenzeka:

• Ukutshintsha indawo ohlala kuyo: Kusenokufuneka ufudukele kwindlu entsha, okanye kwenye idolophu okanye iphondo.
• Ukutshintsha izikolo: Ukufudukela kwikhaya elitsha, ukuya kwisikolo esitsha, nokwenza abahlobo abatsha kunokuba nzima kancinci.
• Ukuba nomntu omnye ngexesha: Usenokungakwazi ukuchitha ixesha nabazali bobabini njengangaphambili. Kusenokufuneka uziqhelanise neshedyuli ezahlukeneyo, njengokuchitha ixesha nomama phakathi evekini kunye notata ngeempelaveki.
• Iingxaki zemali: Xa intsapho iqhekeka, kusenokuba nemali encinci epokothweni yakho kunangaphambili.
• Ukujongana nomsindo wabazali: Ukuba abazali bakho banomsindo ngenxa yezinto ezenzeke ngaphambi okanye ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato, ungabeva okanye ubabone bekhwazana kwaye betyholana. Oku kunokuba ngamava anzima kakhulu. Zama ukungabandakanyeki kuko.

Utshintsho oluhle olunokwenzeka:

• Uxolo olukhulayo ekhaya: Ukulwa rhoqo kunye nokukhwaza ekhaya kunokuphela, kwaye ikhaya lingaba yindawo enoxolo neyolileyo.
• Ukubona abazali bakho bonwabile: Usenokufumanisa ukuba abazali bakho, ababebuhlungu kwaye benomsindo xa babekunye, ngoku bagxile kubomi babo kwaye bonwabile kunangaphambili emva kokuba bahlukene.
• Ukuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho nabazali bakho: Emva kokuba abazali bakho behlukene, unokufumanisa ukuba bachitha ixesha elingakumbi nawe ngokwahlukeneyo. Basenokuba nenkathalo ngakumbi kuwe baze bazame ukwakha ubudlelwane obungcono nawe ngabanye ngabanye.
• Ukwakha ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwabazali:Kusenokubonakala kungaqhelekanga, kodwa emva koqhawulo-mtshato, abanye abazali abasabi nazo iingxaki ababenazo njengendoda nomfazi, ngoko ke bathetha njengabahlobo abalungileyo baze basebenzisane kwimiba yabantwana babo.

Yintoni enye ekufuneka ndiyazi malunga noqhawulo-mtshato?

Zimbalwa izinto onokuzenza nofanele uzazi kwezi zihlandlo zinzima.

1. Thetha ngeemvakalelo zakho: Xelela abazali bakho indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngoqhawulo-mtshato, indlela ovakalelwa ngayo (usizi, umsindo, uloyiko). Nokuba bajongene neengxaki ezingakanani na, ungumntwana wabo. Baza kuyiqonda indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Musa ukuxoka, thetha inyani . Iya kubanceda bakuqonde kwaye ikuncede kakhulu.

2. Thetha nomntu omdala omthembayo: Ukuba unezinto ezinzima omele uzixelele abazali bakho, okanye ukuba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu ongenguye kubo, kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ukuthetha nomnye umntu omdala omthembayo . Kungaba ngumama womhlobo wakho osenyongweni, utata, umakhulu wakho, umalume wakho, umalume wakho, utitshala wakho, umcebisi wesikolo, inkokheli yenkolo efana nomfundisi, umfundisi etempileni, okanye umfundisi ecaweni . Yabelana ngemithwalo yakho nabo.

3. Khumbula ukuba awuwedwa: Kukho izigidi zabantwana kwihlabathi liphela, kuquka naseSri Lanka, abazali babo baqhawule umtshato. Awungomntu wokuqala ukutyhubela olu tshintsho, kwaye awuyi kuba ngowokugqibela. Kukho umntu onokukunceda aze akuphulaphule.

4. Bathande bobabini abazali: Ukuba baqhawule umtshato akuthethi ukuba kufuneka utshintshe uthando lwakho ngabo. Ngabazali bakho. Nokuba baneengxaki, bobabini bayakuthanda. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zama ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle nabo bobabini.

5. Gcina indlela oqhele ukwenza ngayo izinto: Qhubeka nomsebenzi wakho wesikolo, imidlalo, kunye nezinto ozithandayo njengesiqhelo. Oku kuya kukunceda udlule kweli xesha linzima njengesiqhelo.

Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya

Xa abazali beqhawula umtshato, lutshintsho olukhulu kusapho lonke, lixesha elinzima ukuliqhela. Akusoloko kulula. Kuqhelekile ukuziva ulusizi, ukhathazekile, kwaye udidekile.

Kodwa, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukukholelwa ngokupheleleyo ukuba olu qhawulo-mtshato aluzange lube yimpazamo yakho. Awunasizathu sokuziva unetyala ngalo nto okanye uzibeke ityala.

Abanye abantwana abaninzi, njengawe, baye bajongana neemeko ezifanayo, bazoyisa, baza bakha ubomi babo ngempumelelo. Nawe ungakwenza oko. Unamandla kunokuba ucinga. Kukho abantu abakungqongileyo abakuthandayo nabafuna ukukunceda. Thetha nabo, wabelane ngemithwalo yakho, intlungu yakho, neengxaki zakho. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, ungafumana neengcebiso zobungcali.

Ngokuhamba kwexesha, uya kufumana amandla okuziqhelanisa nale meko inzima. Njengokuba amanxeba ethatha ixesha ukuphola, nentliziyo yakho iya kuthatha ixesha ukuphola emva kwale meko. Vumela. Zinyamekele. Uxabisekile.

Uqhawulo - mtshato, imiba yosapho, impilo yengqondo yabantwana, ubudlelwane bobuzali, ulawulo lweemvakalelo, ingcebiso, iSri Lanka