Ngaba umntwana wakho uyaxhatshazwa esikolweni? (Ukuxhaphaza) – Masithethe ngale nto!

Ngaba umntwana wakho akafuni ukuya esikolweni? Ngaba uyoyika ukukhwela ibhasi okanye ukuya kwindawo yokudlala? Ngamanye amaxesha oku kusenokuba kungenxa yokuba uxhatshazwa . Oku akunto incinci. Oku kuxhaphaza kunokubangela amanxeba anzulu eemvakalelo emntwaneni. Kwezinye iimeko ezigqithisileyo, kunokukhula kube zizenzo zobundlobongela, ukutshatyalaliswa kwempahla, kunye nokwenzakalisa umntwana kakhulu. Ke ngoko, ukuba umntwana wakho uxhatshazwa, kubaluleke kakhulu ukunceda ekupheliseni oku.

Yintoni kanye kanye 'ukuxhaphaza'?

Okokuqala, masiqonde ukuba yintoni ukuxhaphaza . Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abancinci bayahlekisana, akunjalo? Ukuba yinto yokuhlekisana encinci evela kubantakwabo okanye kumhlobo, kwaye iyonwabisa kubo bobabini, akukho nto inkulu. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo.

Kodwa, ukuba le ntsini iyaqhubeka nokulimaza abanye, ibangela ingxaki , kulapho ingxaki iqala khona. Yiloo nto siyibiza ngokuba 'kukuxhaphaza'.

Ngamafutshane, ukuxhaphaza kwenzeka xa umntwana oneminyaka efanayo elimaza omnye umntwana ngabom emzimbeni, ngamazwi, okanye engqondweni ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Umntwana oxhaphazayo apha ukholelwa ukuba amandla akhe akalingani ngaphezu komnye umntwana. Oku kunokuquka ukutyhala, ukubetha, ukuthethisa, ukusongela, kunye nokugculela. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kuquka ukuthatha imali okanye ezinye izinto ngenkani. Abanye abantwana baxhaphaza abanye ngokubagxotha nokusasaza amarhe obuxoki.

Khawucinge nje, umntwana wakho ebeya kuziva njani ukuba ebexhatshazwa ngolu hlobo yonke imihla esikolweni ngomnye umntwana okanye liqela labantu?

Olunye uhlobo olubi lokuxhaphaza namhlanje kukuxhaphaza nge-intanethi . Kuthetha ukuhlazisa nokwenzakalisa abanye ngeendaba zoluntu, imiyalezo, kunye nemiyalezo ye-WhatsApp. Oku kubi kakhulu njengezinye iindlela zokuxhaphaza.

Olu xhatshazo alufanele luthathwe lula . Akulunganga ukucinga, "Yindlela abantwana abaphila ngayo, kufuneka nje sinyamezele." Kuba oku kunempembelelo enkulu ekuzithembeni kwabantwana kunye nokuzithemba kwabo. Kwezinye iimeko ezigqithisileyo, kubekho iingxelo kwihlabathi liphela zokuba olu xhatshazo lukhokelele abantwana ekubeni bazibulale kwaye benze izinto ezimbi ezifana nokudubulana esikolweni. Ke ngoko, le yingxaki enzulu kakhulu.

Kutheni abantwana bexhaphaza abanye ngolu hlobo?

Ixesha elininzi, abantwana baxhaphaza abanye ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Abanye abantwana bacinga ukuba banokuziva bebalulekile, bedumile, okanye belawula, baze bakhethe umntwana abacinga ukuba ubuthathaka ngokwengqondo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni kunabo, okanye obonakala okanye oziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo kancinci. Umntwana oxhaphazayo akasoloko emkhulu okanye enamandla kunomnye umntwana.

Ngamanye amaxesha, abantwana bayabaxhaphaza abanye kuba bephathwe ngendlela efanayo. Ukuba wonke umntu kusapho lwabo okanye kwindawo abahlala kuyo uhlala ekhwaza kwaye ethukana, banokucinga ukuba oku kuqhelekile. Uyabona, nakwiinkqubo ezithile zeTV, kuqhelekile ukuphatha abanye kakubi, ukujongela phantsi abanye, ukuhlekisa ngabanye ngenxa yenkangeleko yabo okanye ukungabi natalente. Oku kuyabachaphazela nabo.

Uyazi njani ukuba umntwana wakho uyaxhatshazwa?

Ngaphandle kokuba umntwana wakho akuxelele ngokuthe ngqo, okanye ngaphandle kokuba kukho iimpawu ezibonakalayo zokwenzakala, kunokuba nzima ukwazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba uyaxhatshazwa na.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho iimpawu ezithile zokulumkisa esinokuziqwalasela njengabazali:

• Ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo , okanye ukuba ubonakala exhalabile nje.
• Ukuba akatyi kakuhle, akalali kakuhle , okanye akafuni ukwenza izinto azithandayo.
• Ukuba ubonakala unomsindo kunangaphambili, okanye ukuba ucaphuka lula zizinto ezincinci .
• Ukuba kukho izinto ezithile eziphazamisayo (umzekelo, ukungafuni ukukhwela ibhasi yesikolo, ukuphepha iindawo ezithile zesikolo).
• Ukuba uhlala ukhalaza ngezinto ezifana nokungafuni ukuya esikolweni, iintlungu zesisu, okanye intloko ebuhlungu (ingakumbi ngeentsuku zesikolo).
• Iincwadi kunye neempahla zihlala zilahleka okanye zonakale.
• Ukuba ubona izinto ezinjengokoyika okanye ukulila emaphupheni akho .

Ukuba ukrokrela into efana nale, kodwa umntwana wakho akafuni ukuthetha ngayo, zama ukuqala incoko ngendlela engangqalanga, endaweni yokubuza imibuzo ethe ngqo . Khawuthelekelele ukuba ubone isiganeko esifana nale kwiTV waza wabuza into efana nale, "Nyana/ntombi, ucinga ntoni ngale nto?" okanye "Ucinga ukuba loo mntwana kufanele ukuba wenze ntoni?" Emva koko, ungabuza, "Wakha wayibona into efana nale isenzeka?" okanye "Wakha wayibona into efana nale isenzeka kuwe?" Mhlawumbi ungathetha ngamava owawafumana wena okanye omnye umntu kusapho lwakho kuloo minyaka.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwenza umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba ukuba uyaxhatshazwa okanye ukuba ubona omnye umntu exhatshazwa, kubalulekile ukuthetha nomntu omdala omthembileyo ngaloo nto. Oku kungaba nguwe, omnye umntu omdala (utitshala, umcebisi wesikolo, umhlobo wosapho, okanye kwanomntakwabo).

Singenza ntoni njengabazali?

Ukuba umntwana wakho ukuxelela ngokuxhaphaza, mamela ngoxolo . Mthuthuzele kwaye umxhase.Nika. Abantwana badla ngokuthandabuza ukuxelela abantu abadala ngezi zinto. Ngenxa yokuba beneentloni, baziva bebuhlungu ngento efana nale eyenzekayo. Okanye boyika ukuba abazali babo baza kucaphuka, bacaphuke, okanye basabele ngendlela engafanelekanga.

Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bacinga ukuba lityala labo . Ukuba bebehlukile, ukuba bebesenza ngendlela eyahlukileyo, oku ngekungazange kwenzeke. Ngamanye amaxesha bayoyika ukuba ukuba umntu obaxhaphazayo uyafumanisa oko bakuthethileyo, uza kubaxhaphaza nangakumbi. Abanye abantwana bacinga ukuba abazali babo ababakholelwa, okanye abayi kwenza nto ngaloo nto. Abanye boyika ukuba abazali babo baza kubaxelela ukuba "bahambe," kodwa bayoyika kakhulu ukukwenza oko.

Ngoko ke, kuqala, mncome umntwana wakho ngokukuxelela oku . Mkhumbuze ukuba akayedwa, kwaye abantu abaninzi bahlangabezana nokuxhatshazwa ngaxa lithile ebomini babo. Mchazele ukuba umntwana oxhaphazayo ngulowo uziphatha kakubi, hayi umntwana wakho . Mqinisekise ukuba wena nabo niza kusebenzisana ukufumana isisombululo.

Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana abaninzi kunye nabantu abaselula bathi olu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa ludla ngokwenzeka esikolweni . Ngoko ke, xelela umntu esikolweni (nokuba yinqununu, umongikazi wesikolo, umcebisi, okanye utitshala) ngale meko. Amaxesha amaninzi, banokuyiqwalasela baze bathathe amanyathelo okuyekisa ukuba yingxaki.

Ngenxa yokuba ukuxhaphaza kunokwenzeka kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, akukho sisombululo sifanelekileyo kubo bonke . Okusebenzayo kwenye indawo kusenokungasebenzi kwenye. Indlela efanelekileyo yokwenza izinto ixhomekeke kwizinto ezininzi, kuquka ubudala babantwana ababandakanyekayo, ubukhali besiganeko, kunye nohlobo lokuxhaphaza.

Ukuba umntwana wakho uthi, "Ukuba bayakufumanisa oko ndikuthethileyo, baza kundenzakalisa nangakumbi," okanye basongela ngokukwenzakalisa emzimbeni, yithathe nzulu loo nto . Ngamanye amaxesha ukuthetha nabazali bomntwana kunokuba luncedo. Nangona kunjalo, kwiimeko ezininzi, kungcono ukuqala uqhagamshelane nootitshala okanye abacebisi . Ukuba ukhe wazama oko kwaye usafuna ukuthetha nabazali bomntwana, kungcono ukuba nencoko phambi kwegosa lesikolo, njengomcebisi. Oku kuya kunceda ukunciphisa umngcipheko weengxaki ezingeyomfuneko.

Izikolo ezininzi zinemigaqo-nkqubo kunye neenkqubo zokulwa ukuxhaphaza malunga nokuxhaphaza. Kwakhona, amazwe amaninzi kunye nelizwe lethu anemithetho malunga noku. Phanda imithetho ekwindawo okuyo. Kwezinye iimeko, ukuba unenkxalabo enzulu malunga nokhuseleko lomntwana wakho, unokufuna ukunxibelelana nabasemagunyeni bezomthetho.

Zeziphi izinto ofuna ukuzifundisa umntwana wakho?

Abazali bangabafundisa abantwana babo indlela yokujongana nokuxhatshazwa. Abanye abazali okanye abanakekeli banokuziva befuna ukuxelela umntwana wabo ukuba "hamba uyombetha." Oku kuyaqondakala, kuba uziva unomsindo xa ubona umntwana wakho ebandezeleka, mhlawumbi waxelelwa ukuba "zimele" xa wawusengumntwana. Okanye usenokuba noloyiko lokuba umntwana wakho uza kuqhubeka exhatshazwa, ngoko ke ukumbetha yeyona ndlela yokumnqanda.

Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukufundisa abantwana ukuba bangaphenduli xa bexhatshazwa okanye baphinde baxhatshazwe . Oku kunokukhula ngokukhawuleza kube lugonyamelo, kubangele iingxaki ezingaphezulu, kwaye kumenzakalise umntu. Endaweni yoko, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukushiya loo meko, uncokole nabanye abantu, kwaye uxelele umntu omdala .

Nazi ezinye iindlela zokunceda abantwana batshintshe izinto baze bazive bebhetele:

• Xelela umntu omdala: Ootitshala besikolo, inqununu, abazali, kunye nabasebenzi bevenkile yokutyela banokunceda ekupheliseni olu xhatshazo.
• Mphephe umntu oxhaphazayo kwaye usebenzise 'inkqubo yomhlobo': Sebenzisa indlu yangasese eyahlukileyo ukuba umntu oxhaphazayo ukufutshane, musa ukuya kwindawo yakho yokulala xa kungekho mntu ukufutshane. Musa ukuba wedwa nomntu oxhaphazayo, hlala nomntu . Ebhasini, epasejini, kwindawo yokudlala - naphi na apho umntu oxhaphazayo anokuba khona, fumana umhlobo. Ukuba umhlobo wakho ufuna uncedo, yenza okufanayo.
• Lawula umsindo wakho: Kuqhelekile ukuba nomsindo kumntu oxhaphazayo, kodwa yiloo nto abantu abaxhaphazayo abayithandayo. Ibanika imvakalelo yokuba banamandla. Ziqhelise ukungakhali, ungabi neentloni, kwaye ungacaphuki . Oku kufuna ukuziqhelanisa okuninzi, kodwa yindlela elungileyo yokuphepha ukubonwa ngumntu oxhaphazayo. Abanye abantwana bafumanisa ukuba 'amaqhinga okuthoba umsindo' njengokubala ukuya kwi-10, ukubhala phantsi amagama anomsindo ephepheni, ukuphefumla nzulu, nokuhamba kuyanceda. Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba ahlale ezolile ubuso de kungabikho ngozi (ukuncuma okanye ukuncuma kunokumcaphukisa ngakumbi umntu oxhaphazayo).
• Yiba nesibindi, hamba, kwaye ungamhoyi umntu oxhaphazayo: Mxelele ngokucacileyo nangokucacileyo umntu oxhaphazayo ukuba "ayeke" aze ahambe. Ziqhelise iindlela zokungahoyi izimvo ezibuhlungu, ezifana nokwenza ngathi awunamdla okanye ukuthumela umyalezo kumntu kwifowuni yakho. Ukungamhoyi umntu oxhaphazayo kubonisa ukuba awukhathali. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, umntu oxhaphazayo uya kudinwa kukukhathaza.
• Thetha ngale nto:Thetha nomntu omthembayo. Isenokuba ngumcebisi wesikhokelo sesikolo, utitshala, umntakwenu okanye umhlobo. Banokukunika iingcebiso ezilungileyo. Nokuba abanakuyilungisa imeko, inokukunceda uzive ungedwa kangako.

Ungawakha njani amandla engqondo yomntwana (ukuzithemba)?

Ukuxhaphaza umntwana kungonakalisa ukuzithemba kwakhe . Ukuze uncede ekuvuseleleni oku, mkhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba achithe ixesha enempembelelo entle . Ukuthatha inxaxheba kwiiklabhu, kwimidlalo, okanye kwezinye izinto azonwabelayo kunokunceda ekwakheni amandla engqondo kunye nobuhlobo.

Mamela ngononophelo xa umntwana wakho ethetha ngamaxesha anzima, kwaye umkhuthaze ukuba akuxelele ngezinto ezintle ngemini yakhe, kwaye uphulaphule ngononophelo ezo zinto. Oku kuya kunceda wonke umntu aphuhlise umkhwa wokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo . Hlala umxelela ukuba uyamthemba kwaye uya kwenza konke okusemandleni akho ukumnceda kuzo naziphi na iingxaki.

Khumbula, ukudala imeko-bume yasekhaya apho abantwana baziva bethandwa, bekhuselekile, kwaye bamkelekile ngamandla amakhulu kubo okujongana neengxaki ezinjalo.

Okokugqibela, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule...

Ukuxhaphaza abanye kunokuba nefuthe elibi kakhulu kubomi babantwana. Akufuneki kujongwe njengento eqhelekileyo .

• Thetha ngokukhululekileyo nomntwana wakho. Mkhuthaze ukuba akuthembe ukuba uyaxhatshazwa.
• Mamela ngoxolo oko kuthethwa ngumntwana, mxhase, kwaye umenze aqonde ukuba akaphazamanga .
• Sebenzisana nesikolo. Ootitshala nabacebisi baza kunceda ekusombululeni ezi ngxaki.
• Fundisa umntwana wakho indlela yokujongana nokuxhatshazwa , kodwa ungaze usebenzise ubundlobongela.
• Nceda umntwana wakho akhe amandla engqondo nokuzithemba .

Ngelixa usenza ezi zinto, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukudala imeko-bume ekhaya apho umntwana wakho eziva ethandwa kwaye ekhuselekile khona . Oku kuya kumnika amandla okujongana nayo nayiphi na ingxaki.

ukuxhaphaza , ukuxhatshazwa, abantwana, isikolo, abazali, impilo yengqondo, ukuxhatshazwa kwi-intanethi