Unxibelelwano Lolutsha Nomntwana Wakho Oneminyaka Eli-13-18: Masifikelele Esona Siphene Sento

Ngaba unomntwana omkhulu endlwini yakho ngoku, oko kukuthi, umntwana omncinci ophakathi kweminyaka eli-13 neli-18? Kaloku, loo minyaka lixesha elikhethekileyo nelinzima kancinci . Kwelinye icala, bakrelekrele kakhulu, bafunda izinto ezintsha, kwaye baqala ukubona ihlabathi. Kwelinye icala, basisiphepho esikhulu ezingqondweni zabo. Abahlobo babo lihlabathi labo. Bachitha ixesha elininzi nabo esikolweni, kwimisebenzi yangaphandle, mhlawumbi nomsebenzi omncinci. Ngoko ke, ixesha esilichitha sithetha nabo ekhaya linokuba lincinci. Kodwa njengabazali, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba sithethe nabo kancinci yonke imihla, sabelane ngezimvo, kwaye sibamamele. Ngaphandle koko, banokuziva ngathi bayasishiya kancinci kancinci, ngokungathi bodwa kwihlabathi elahlukileyo . Ngoko ke, masithethe namhlanje ngento ekufuneka siyenze ukugcina olu lwalamano luqinile, kulungile?

Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zencoko eza kukhuthaza ulwalamano nomntwana wakho omncinci.

Kulungile, singalugcina njani ubudlelwane obuhle nobuqinileyo nomntwana omncinci ongekho ekhaya uninzi lwemini kwaye ezama ukwakha ihlabathi lakhe? Kungabonakala kunzima ekuqaleni, kodwa izinto ezincinci zinokwenza umahluko omkhulu. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso:

• Bekela ecaleni ixesha elincinci yonke imihla, mhlawumbi ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ngaphambi kokuba ulale, ukuze umamele oko umntwana wakho akuthethileyo nakwenzileyo emini. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwenza azive ngathi umamele ngokwenene . Beka ifowuni ecaleni, ucime iTV, uze umjonge emehlweni xa uthetha naye. Ngale ndlela uya kuqonda ukuba, 'Hee, oko ndikuthethayo kuMama/Tata kubaluleke kakhulu.' Khumbula, awufuni ukumfundisa umntwana wakho, ngokungathi uhlala umxelela uthi, 'Musa ukwenza oku, musa ukwenza okuya,' kodwa endaweni yoko , ufuna ukuthetha naye ngendlela enobuhlobo . Hlonipha oko akutshoyo.

• Ukubuza imibuzo enokuphendulwa kuphela ngo-'ewe' okanye 'hayi' akuncedi. Kulapho ke incoko iphela khona. Endaweni yoko, buza imibuzo ebavumela ukuba bacinge baze bachaze. Umzekelo, endaweni yokubuza, 'Ngaba isikolo sihambe kakuhle namhlanje?', buza, ' Yeyiphi eyona nto ikhethekileyo eyenzekileyo esikolweni namhlanje, nyana/ntombi? ' okanye 'Ndixelele ngento entsha oyifundileyo namhlanje, nam ndingathanda ukuyazi.' Ngaleyo ndlela, banokuthi bathethe into esezingqondweni zabo.

• Ukuhamba ngemoto, ibhasi, okanye inqwelo enamavili amathathu lixesha elifanelekileyo leencoko ezinjalo. Cinga ngayo, kuba anijongani ubuso ngobuso, ngamanye amaxesha bathetha ngokulula nezinto ezibuthathaka ezisezingqondweni zabo. Ngelo xesha, yiba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo. Musa ukugweba.

• Zama ukuya kwimidlalo yabo yezemidlalo, kwimicimbi yesikolo, kwiikonsathi, njl. Dlala umdlalo nabo, ubukele imuvi, mhlawumbi ufumane nexesha lokuthetha ngeziganeko zangoku kwaye umamele izimvo zabo. Oku kuya kubonisa ukuba awungomntu nje 'obamba' ubomi babo, kodwa ungumntu ohlala nabo kwimivuyo yabo kunye nosizi lwabo.Baza kuziva loo nto. Nje ukuba olo kholo lwakheke, baya kuba nethuba elingcono lokuthetha nawe.

Indlela yabo yokuthetha itshintsha njani besebancinci? Siyakuqonda oko?

Kule minyaka mincinci, ngokuqhelekileyo ngexesha lesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, iindlela zokuthetha zabantwana kunye nokusetyenziswa kwamagama zikhula kakhulu kunabantu abadala. Njengoko ukukhula kwabo kwengqondo kusanda, ukusetyenziswa kwabo kolwimi kuba nzima ngakumbi. Banokuthetha baze baqonde izinto ezingacacanga , oko kukuthi, iingcamango ezingenakuthathwa zizandla kwaye zinokuqondwa kuphela ngengqondo (umz., uthando, ubulungisa, inkululeko). Oku kunjalo nangolwimi olufuziselayo . Ngamafutshane, banokuqonda kungekuphela nje intsingiselo ethe ngqo yamagama, kodwa kunye nentsingiselo enzulu kunye neentsingiselo ezidluliselwa ngawo.

Khawucinge nje, sizisebenzisa ezi zinto kwintetho yemihla ngemihla. Abantwana abancinci bayayiqonda le nto baze nabo baqale ukuyisebenzisa:

• Izaci ezifana nokuthi "betha isikhonkwane entloko": Xa usithi "betha isikhonkwane entloko," akuthethi ukuba ubethe isikhonkwane ngesando. Uthetha ukuthi "uthethe/wenze into elungileyo kanye." Xa usithi "kwiqhwa elincinci," uthetha ukuthi "ukuba kwimeko eyingozi." Bayaqonda amagama anjengala.
• Izifaniso: Xa uthelekisa into enye nenye, njengokuthi 'icocekile njengobisi', 'inamandla njengenkomo', 'ubuqhetseba njengempungutye', bayayiqonda loo ngcamango.
• Izifaniso: 'Usisikhova sasebusuku' kuthetha umntu olala ebusuku. 'Elo ndawo yayiyi-zoo' kuthetha indawo enengxolo enkulu, ephithizelayo. 'Ixesha yimali' kuthetha ukuba ixesha lixabiseke kakhulu. Bayaziqonda izinto ezinje, ngaphandle kokuthi 'njenge' ngokuthe ngqo, kodwa babhekisa kwenye njengenye.

Ngoko ke, nokuba bachaza into ethile, badla ngokusebenzisa izifaniso, ngendlela engangqalanga, endaweni yokuyithetha ngqo. Olu luphawu lophuhliso lwabo lwengqondo . Bafanele bakwazi ukuqonda intsingiselo enzulu yamagama, iimeko ezahlukeneyo asetyenziswa kuzo, nendlela yokusebenzisa iziphumlisi, kwaye bakwazi ukuqonda nokusebenzisa izakhiwo ezintsonkothileyo zesintaksi , oko kukuthi, indlela amagama ahlanganiswa ngayo ukuze enze izivakalisi ezinde nezinentsingiselo. Ezi ziimpawu zophuhliso lolwimi lwabo.

Kodwa unxibelelwano alupheleli nje ekusebenziseni nasekuqondeni amagama, akunjalo? Luphenjelelwa zezinye izinto ezininzi. Ingakumbi indlela abantwana abancinci abacinga ngayo ngabo, abahlobo babo, kunye nendlela abajonga ngayo abantu abanegunya abafana nootitshala nabazali.

Khumbula, ngeli xesha bazama nzima ukuzimela kwiintsapho zabo, ukuba ngabantu babo .Bazama ukwakha. Imibuzo efana nokuthi 'Ndingubani? Ndifuna ntoni?' isezingqondweni zabo. Kwakhona, njengoko beqala ukucinga ngokungacacanga, baba nomdla kwimiba yokuziphatha ehlabathini - umzekelo, izinto ezinje ngokungabikho kokusesikweni kwezentlalo, okulungileyo nokungalunganga, ubuhlwempu - baze baqale ukuba nezimvo zabo. Konke oku kuchaphazela ngokuthe ngqo indlela abacinga ngayo, indlela abathetha ngayo nathi, kunye nendlela abaqiqa ngayo. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuqonda nokuvumela lo mahluko kubo.

Ngamanye amaxesha uncedo lunokufuneka: luhlobo luni lwamaxesha?

Sonke sifuna abantwana bethu baphile kakuhle. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, banokuba neengxaki zonxibelelwano okanye zokufunda. Kwimeko ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka.

Kubalulekile ukuthetha nootitshala bomntwana wakho rhoqo malunga nezakhono zabo zolwimi kunye nenkqubela phambili esikolweni. Ootitshala bachitha ixesha elininzi nomntwana wakho. Banokuqaphela notshintsho oluncinci kumntwana wakho. Ngamanye amaxesha ootitshala banokukrokrela ukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki yokufunda esekelwe kulwimi , okubangelwa kubunzima bokufunda obubangelwa kubunzima bokuqonda okanye ukusebenzisa ulwimi. Ukuba kuvela ukukrokrela okunjalo, kuya kufuneka benze uvavanyo olupheleleyo ukuze bafumane ukuba yintoni kanye kanye ingxaki kwaye banike umntwana uncedo aludingayo.

Ezi mvavanyo zingabandakanya:

• Uvavanyo lokuva – kuba ngamanye amaxesha iingxaki zolwimi zinokubakho ngenxa yengxaki yokuva.
• Uvavanyo lwezengqondo: Eli ligama elintsonkothileyo, kodwa ngokulula, libandakanya ukuvavanya indlela yokufunda eyahlukileyo yomntwana kunye nendlela iinkqubo zakhe zokuqonda ezisebenza ngayo ngovavanyo oluqhelekileyo. Oku kunokunceda ekuchongeni amandla kunye nobuthathaka bomntwana.
• Uvavanyo lolwimi lwentetho: Oku kuvavanya indlela umntwana athetha ngayo, abiza ngayo amagama, akha ngayo izivakalisi, kwaye aqonde ulwimi.

Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki ethile yokunxibelelana efana nokungathintitha , apho amagama axutywa okanye unobumba/igama elifanayo lifundwa amaxesha amaninzi, kufuneka umthumele kwiNgcali yezifo zoLwimi lokuThetha esikolweni (ezinye izikolo zinayo, okanye ungayifumana ngaphandle). Uyingcali evavanya iingxaki zokuthetha nolwimi kwaye inika unyango olufunekayo, imithambo, njl. Okukhona ezi zinto ziqatshelwa ngokukhawuleza, kokukhona kulula ukuzinyanga.

Kwakhona, utshintsho kwilizwi, umzekelo , ukurhawuzelela , ukuphefumla , okanye ilizwi elirhabaxa nelirhabaxa (ukurhawuzelela).Ukuba uneengxaki zomgangatho wokuthetha, musa ukuzithatha njengento 'eyenzekayo xa ukhula'. Kungcono ukufumana uvavanyo lwezonyango yingcali ye -otolaryngologist okanye ingcali ye-ENT . Kusenokuba kukho isizathu saloo nto. Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwexesha, iingxaki zolwimi nentetho zifunyanwa usemncinci, ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kwiminyaka yobudala obunjalo, kwaye unyango olufunekayo luqalwe. Nangona kunjalo, ezinye izinto zinokuvela kamva, ngoko ke kulungile ukuba ulumke.

Abazali badla ngokucinga ukuba eli xesha lincinci lixesha lobunzima obukhulu kunye neengxabano nabantwana babo. Abanye bade bacinge ukuba 'kuqhelekile' ukuba baphikise izimvo zabazali babo, bachase imithetho yosapho, kwaye bagxininise kwiimbono zabo ngeli xesha. Yinxalenye yohambo lwabo lokufumana ukuzimela. Nangona kunjalo, khumbula ukuba ukuba ukuziphatha komntwana wakho kubangela ukuphazamiseka okukhulu kuxolo losapho kunye nenkqubo yemihla ngemihla , okanye ukuba uhlala ebeka uxinzelelo kuwo wonke umntu endlwini, kusenokungabi yimvukelo eqhelekileyo yolutsha okanye 'impazamo yomntwana'. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakho buyazama kakhulu, kwaye uziva ngathi awukwazi ukusingatha oku wedwa, thetha nogqirha wakho wosapho okanye ingcali yengqondo yabantwana/ingcali yengqondo ngaloo nto. Akukho ntloni ukucela uncedo, luphawu lokuba umkhathalele kangakanani umntwana.

Ngoko ke, ngowuphi umyalezo obalulekileyo esifanele siwuthathe ekhaya kuko konke oku? (Umyalezo Wokubuyela Ekhaya)

Ngoko ke, ndicinga ukuba oku kuya kukunceda wena, mna, kunye nathi sonke siqonde ihlabathi laba bantwana abancinci ngcono kancinci. Incoko nonxibelelwano onalo nomntwana wakho oneminyaka eli-13 ukuya kweli-18 ekhaya alupheleli nje ekutshintshiselaneni amagama. Kufuneka kube ngathi yindlela enabantu ababini . Ufanele uthethe kwaye umvumele athethe. Ufanele umamele kwaye nabo bamele bakuphulaphule. Loo lungelelwano lubalulekile.

Ngokukhumbula ezi ngongoma, nawe unokuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho nomntwana wakho omncinci:

• Phulaphula ngomonde nangengqondo evulekileyo: Basenokuba nezinto ezininzi abanokuzithetha nokwabelana ngazo. Ezinye zazo zisenokuba zintsha kuthi, kwaye zisenokungafani neengcinga zethu. Kodwa ukuba siphulaphula ngomonde kwaye singagwebi, baya kuvula umlomo baze bathethe. Banike uluvo lokuba 'umama/utata uyandiqonda.'
• Buza imibuzo evulelekileyo ukuze uvuselele incoko: Yenza okungaphaya kweempendulo ezithi 'ewe/hayi' uze uzame ukuqonda iingcinga zabo, iimvakalelo zabo, amathemba abo kunye noloyiko lwabo. Buza imibuzo efana nokuthi 'Ucinga ntoni ngaloo nto?' kunye nokuthi 'Wawuziva njani ngelo xesha?'
• Ukuchitha ixesha kunye kubalulekile kakhulu:Nokuba uxakeke kangakanani na, fumana ixesha elincinci yonke imihla, nokuba kube kanye ngeveki, lokuchitha ixesha nabo besenza into abayithandayo nebathetha ngayo. Kungaba yinto elula njengokubukela imuvi, ukuya kuhambo olufutshane, okanye ukudlala umdlalo webhodi. Elo xesha kunye lelona lakha ubudlelwane .
• Qonda ukuba utshintsho luphawu lokukhula: Njengoko bekhula, indlela abacinga ngayo, abathetha ngayo, kunye neencasa zabo ziyatshintsha. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Vumela olo tshintsho kwaye uzame ukuluqonda. Musa ukulindela ukuba bahlale befana naxa babesebancinci.
• Ukuba ufuna uncedo, bubulumko ukulufumana: Ukuba ngokwenene uvakalelwa kukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki enkulu yonxibelelwano, ukufunda, okanye ukuziphatha, ungakhathazeki ngaloo nto kwaye uhlupheke wedwa, kodwa ungaze ungathandabuzi ukucela uncedo kootitshala, oogqirha, okanye kwiingcali ezifanelekileyo. Ngaleyo ndlela, umntwana wakho uya kufumana uncedo olufanelekileyo ngokukhawuleza .

Okokugqibela, uthando lwakho, ukuqonda kwakho, kunye nenkxaso yakho engagungqiyo zezona zinto zinamandla nentsikelelo enkulu umntwana wakho anayo ukuze akwazi ukuhamba ngempumelelo nangovuyo kweli xesha lobutsha elinzima kodwa elihle nelikhula kakuhle! Ungaze ulibale ukulinika.

Abantwana abancinci, unxibelelwano, ukukhulisa abantwana, uphuhliso lolwimi, impilo yengqondo, ukukhubazeka kokufunda, ubutsha