Ungamqeqesha njani umntwana wakho? Makhe sithethe ngale nto!

Njengabazali, enye yezona mbopheleleko zethu zinkulu kukukhulisa abantwana bethu ngengqeqesho elungileyo kunye nemikhwa emihle. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha oku akulula njengoko sicinga, akunjalo? Ingakumbi kumntwana omncinci, ukuchaza, 'Musa ukwenza oku', 'Akulunganga oko' kunokuba ngumceli mngeni omkhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha sizibuza ukuba singamenza njani umntwana omncinci aqonde ezi zinto. Namhlanje, masithethe ngendlela yokuqeqesha umntwana wakho ngendlela enothando kodwa eqinileyo efanelekileyo ngokweminyaka, njengokuthetha nomhlobo.

Kutheni ukuhambelana kubaluleke kangaka ekuqheliseleni uqeqesho?

Xa kufikwa kwingqeqesho, igama lokuqala ekufuneka ulikhumbule kukuba "ukungaguquguquki ". Ngamafutshane, imithetho nemiyalelo oyinika umntwana wakho mayihlale ifana. Ukuba uthetha into enye namhlanje uze uthi enye ngomso, okanye ukuba umama uthi enye into aze utata athi enye, ucinga ntoni umntwana wakho? Bayadideka kakhulu. Banokucinga, 'Owu, le ayisiyonto inkulu kangako,' baze bangayinaki imithetho.

Khawuthelekelele, namhlanje uthi 'ungafaki amathoyizi kwigumbi lokuhlala', kodwa ngomso ukuba utata akathethi nto ngaloo nto, okanye uzilibele ngokwakho, kunzima ukuba umntwana omncinci aqonde. Abantwana bayakwazi kakhulu ukuqonda ezi zinto. Ke ngoko, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba wena nomyeni wakho/umfazi wakho nivumelane ngemithetho ethile eqhelekileyo kwaye niyigcine rhoqo yonke imihla. Emva koko umntwana uyaqonda ukuba 'le yindlela eyiyo, le yindlela yendlu yethu'. Oku kuhlala kufana kunika umntwana imvakalelo yokhuseleko, kuba uyazi ukuba ulindele ntoni kwaye yintoni imida.

Indlela yokuqeqesha abantwana abaneminyaka eyi-0-2?

Abantwana abakule minyaka banomdla kakhulu. Xa bebona izinto ezintsha ehlabathini, bafuna ukuchukumisa yonke into baze bayifake emlonyeni wabo. Eli lixesha apho bahlola ihlabathi labo. Ngoko ke ngaphambi kokuba sibafundise ingqeqesho, kufuneka senze imeko-bume ikhuseleke kubo. Leyo yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokunciphisa isidingo sokuba beve igama elithi 'hayi' ngalo lonke ixesha.

Ngaba kufuneka sigcine izinto eziyingozi nezinto ezithi 'sukuchukumisa' kude?

Ukuba unomntwana omncinci ekhasa okanye ohambahambayo ekhayeni lakho, into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenze kukugcina izinto ezinokuba yingozi kuye, okanye esihlala simxelela ukuba angamchukumisi, kude nokufikelela kwakhe. Oku kubizwa ngokuba 'kukukhusela abantwana'.

Cinga ngayo, iithelevishini, izixhobo zevidiyo, iingcingo zestereo, ubucwebe bakho obuxabisekileyo, ingakumbi amayeza, izinto zokucoca (umz., iHarpic, ibleach), zonke ezi zinto zizinto abantwana abancinci abasenokufuna ukuzichukumisa. Kwakhona, izinto ezibukhali (izikere, iimela), izinto zokudlala ezinokuqhekeka zibe ziingceba ezincinci, kunye neengxowa zeplastiki kufuneka zigcinwe kude nazo. Kukwangumbono olungileyo ukubeka izigqubuthelo zokukhusela kwiiplagi zombane.

"Ukwenza okusingqongileyo kukhuseleke kungcono kakhulu kunokusoloko usithi 'hayi, hayi'. Emva koko umntwana uza kudlala ngokukhululekileyo, kwaye unokuba noxolo lwengqondo."

Umzekelo, xa umntwana kaNilu waqala ukubaleka, into yokuqala awayenzayo kukususa imbiza yeglasi ephantsi kwigumbi lokuhlala waza wafaka isitshixo esincinci kwikhabhathi yamayeza ekhitshini. Ngale ndlela, uloyiko lokuba umntwana uza kwenzakala alunciphi, akunjalo?

Ukuthetha 'hayi', okuphazamisayo (Ukuphazamiseka)

Nangona kunjalo, nokuba ulumke kangakanani na, ngamanye amaxesha umntwana wakho unokungena kwinto eyingozi. Kwimeko enjalo, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukuthetha ngokuzolileyo kodwa ngokuqinileyo uthi, "Hayi, nyana/ntombi," uze umsuse kuloo ndawo. Emva koko, buyisela ingqalelo yakhe kwenye into elungileyo nekhuselekileyo. Oku kubizwa ngokuba kukuphazamiseka .

• Uziphazamisa njani?
• Mnike ithoyizi ayithandayo. "Jonga ibhola yakho entle."
• Cula ingoma encinci naye, okanye udlale umdlalo wokuqhwaba izandla.
• Khomba ukukhanya okuvela efestileni uze uthi into efana nale, "Khangela, nantsi intaka entle phaya."
• Ziyise kwelinye igumbi uze uzisebenzisele enye into. "Singaya kufunda incwadi?"

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuthi 'hayi' ngelizwi eliqinileyo nelicacileyo, ngaphandle kokuba rhabaxa. Abantwana abancinci banokuwuva kakuhle umahluko kwithoni yelizwi. Ukuba ukutsho ngoxolo kodwa ngokuqinileyo, kuya kuba luncedo ngakumbi.

Ingaba indlela 'yokuphumla' ifanelekile kubantwana abancinci?

Kumntwana omncinci oye watsiba unyaka kwaye eqala ukuqonda kancinci, ngesiqhelo emva kweminyaka eli-1.5 okanye emi-2, indlela ebizwa ngokuba yi -'time-out' ingasetyenziswa ukunceda ukuyeka ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezimbi (umz., ukubetha ngabom, ukuhlafuna, ukuphosa izinto). Kodwa le yinto ekufuneka iqondwe kwaye yenziwe ngokuchanekileyo.

• Zeziphi iindlela zokuziphatha ezinokunikwa 'ixesha lokuphumla'?
• Ukuba ubethe okanye ulume omnye umntwana.
• Ukuba ukutya okanye isiselo silahlwa ngabom.
• Ukuba uqhubeka nokwenza into ethile uyayila ukuba hayi.
• Uzinika njani ixesha 'lokuphumla'?

1. Okokuqala, mxelele ngamazwi ambalwa alula ukuba wenze ntoni engalunganga kwaye kutheni ingalunganga. Umzekelo, "Akulunganga ukubetha abanye, nyana/ntombi." Musa ukuba rhabaxa okanye umkhalimele.

2. Emva koko, mse kwindawo ezolileyo, engakruquliyo osele uyilungisile ngaphambili (umz. isitulo sasekhitshini, ezantsi kwezitebhisi, umata omncinci obekwe kancinci kwindawo yokudlala). Le asiyondawo yokohlwaya, kodwa yindawo yokuzola kancinci uze ucinge ngento ayenzileyo.

3. Yishiye apho umzuzu omnye okanye emibini . Akunangqondo ukuba umntwana omncinci ahlale apho ixesha elide. Umgaqo oqhelekileyo ngumzuzu omnye kunyaka ngamnye wobudala bomntwana. (Umzekelo: imizuzu emi-2 kumntwana oneminyaka emi-2 ubudala). Ukuba uyishiya apho ixesha elide ngaphezu koko, ingavakala njengesohlwayo kwaye umntwana unokuba nomsindo ngakumbi.

4. Xa ixesha lokuphumla liphelile, ungazami ukuphinda ukwenze oko. Mphakamise ngothando, ubuze, "Uzolile ngoku?", uze umbandakanye kwenye into eyakhayo. Ukuba uphumle, mbambe kancinci uze uthi ngothando, "Nceda ungaphindi wenze loo nto, kulungile?"

"Khumbula, 'ukuphumla' akukokuthethisa umntwana ngenxa yomsindo. Yindlela yokubanceda balawule iimvakalelo zabo, bazole, baze bazame ukubenza baqonde ukuba into abayenzileyo ayilunganga."

"Le ndlela isenokungaqondakali kakuhle kwiintsana ezingaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-1.5 ukuya kweyi-2 ubudala. Indlela yokuphazamisa exutyushwe ngayo ngaphambili ingcono kubo."

Ukubetha nokuqhwaba akulunganga konke konke!

Le yinto ekufuneka abazali abaninzi bayiqwalasele, kwaye ibaluleke kakhulu. Akulunganga ukunika umntwana isohlwayo esingokwasemzimbeni, njengokubetha, ukumbetha, ukumbetha, okanye ukumcinezela indlebe. Ingakumbi kubantwana abaphakathi kweminyaka eyi-0-2 ubudala, abanakuyiqonda nayiphi na intsebenziswano phakathi kokuziphatha kwabo nesohlwayo esingokwasemzimbeni. Baziva iintlungu noloyiko kuphela.

• Kwenzeka ntoni xa ubetha?
• Umntwana uyoyika. Usenokuqala ukoyika xa ekubona.
• Umntwana usenokuba ndlongondlongo (naye uthambekele ekubetheni nasekulimazeni xa kuvela iingxaki).
• Ulwalamano lothando phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakho lonakele. Ukuthembana kuyaphela.
• Umntwana usenokucinga, 'Kulungile ukwenzakala xa umntu enze impazamo' okanye 'Kulungile ukuba abantu abadala babethe abantu abancinci'.
• Nangona ukuziphatha okubi kusenokubonakala ngathi kuyekile ngelo xesha, umntwana akafundi sifundo kuloo nto. Ufunda indlela yokwenza oku ngaphandle kokubanjwa ngumama/tata.

"Ixesha elininzi, abazali bayababetha abantwana babo xa bengakwazi ukulawula umsindo wabo okanye bephelelwa ngumonde. Kodwa oko akuncedi nganto emntwaneni. Endaweni yoko, zola kancinci, uphefumle nzulu, kwaye usebenzise indlela eyahlukileyo. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, shiya loo ndawo okwethutyana, uze uthethe nomntwana kwakhona xa uphumle."

Ngaba nathi singaba ngumzekelo omhle? (Ukumodela)

Abantwana bafunda ngento esiyenzayo, kungekhona ngento esiyithethayo. Yiloo nto ke ekuthethwa ngayo ukuba ngumzekelo . Abazali ngabona mzekelo wabo wokuqala nomkhulu. Bafana neziponji, befunxa yonke into esiyenzayo nesiyithethayo.

• Ukuba ukhwaza umntwana wakho ukuba 'abeke izinto zokudlala' aze ashiye amaphephandaba, iincwadi, neempahla zakho kuyo yonke indawo, umntwana uza kufunda ntoni? 'Owu, abenzi oko kuthethwa ngumama/tata,' akunjalo?
• Ukuba uyakhwaza xa ucaphukile, uvala iingcango, okanye uphosa izinto, umntwana wakho uya kufunda ukwenza izinto ezifanayo.
• Ukuba usebenzisa amagama anje ngokuthi 'uxolo', 'enkosi', kunye 'nceda', kwaye ubahloniphe abanye, umntwana wakho uya kufunda ngokuzenzekelayo loo mazwi kunye nokuziphatha.

"Ngoko ke, imikhwa emihle esizama ukuyifundisa abantwana bethu, kufuneka siqale siziqhelise. Ukuba sigcina izinto zethu zicocekile, ukuba sitya kakuhle xa sisitya, ukuba sisebenzisa amagama alungileyo xa sithetha, umntwana naye uya kulandela loo mzekelo (Isibonelo Sokulinganisa). Le yindlela enamandla ngakumbi yokuziqhelisa kunokuba unokucinga."

Xabisa izinto ezilungileyo (Ukuqinisa Izinto Ezilungileyo)

Uqeqesho alupheleli nje ekusohlwayeni iimpazamo. Ukuncoma umntwana nokuba yintoni na entle ayenzayo kukumkhuthaza .Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuziqhelisa uqeqesho. Oku kunceda umntwana aqonde okulungileyo noko sikulindeleyo kuye.

• Khawucinge nje, ukuba umntwana wakho omncinci ugqiba ukudlala aze abuyisele ithoyizi elinye ebhokisini, aze athi, "Owu nyana/ntombi yam, kuhle kakhulu!" encumile kancinci, oko kuya kuthetha lukhulu kuye.
• Ukuba ucela ukutya uze ukutye, uthi, "Khangela, umntwana wam utya kamnandi," uya kuba nomdla ngakumbi wokwenza loo nto ilungileyo kwakhona.
• Ukuba benza into encinci oyicelayo ukuba bayenze, yithi, "Wenze kakuhle nyana/ntombi, ngokunceda umama/tata."

"Ngokunika ingqalelo nokudumisa ukuziphatha okuhle endaweni yokunika ingqalelo ukuziphatha okubi, umntwana unamathuba amaninzi okwenza izinto ezilungileyo."

"Kubantwana bale minyaka, uncumo lwakho, amazwi akho othando, nokuba kukuqhwaba izandla okuncinci kuyabakhuthaza kakhulu. Oku kukwakhulisa ukuzithemba kwabo."

Ukucaphuka kunye noqeqesho kubantwana abancinci

Xa beneminyaka eli-1 nesiqingatha ukuya kwemibini ubudala, abantwana abaninzi abancinci baqala ukukhala kakhulu, baqengqeleke, bakhale, baze babethe iintloko zabo eludongeni ngenxa yezinto ezincinci. Oku kubizwa ngokuba yi-'tantrums' okanye i-temperament tantrums. Abazali banokuba nomsindo baze bacaphuke xa bebona oku.

• Kutheni abantwana abancinci besenza oku?
• Kule minyaka, abakwazi ukuveza iimvakalelo zabo ezinkulu – umsindo, ukukhungatheka, usizi – ngamazwi. Ngoko ke baziveza ngale ndlela.
• Ukukhathazeka kuza xa ufuna into ethile kodwa ungayifumani.
• Izinto ezinje ngokudinwa, indlala, kunye nokulala nazo zinokubangela oku.
• Ngamanye amaxesha, banokufunda nokuba le yindlela yokufumana into abayifunayo (ukuba bafumana into abayifunayo ngokukhala nangokukhala).
• Wenza ntoni xa unomsindo?

1. Hlala uzolile: Ukuba uyacaphuka okanye ukhala, imeko inokuba mandundu. Tsala umoya onzulu.

2. Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana ukhuselekile: Qinisekisa ukuba usendaweni apho angazilimazi khona. Ukuba kukho izinto ezibukhali ezikufutshane, zisuse.

3. Musa ukuyihoya ukuba kunokwenzeka: Ukuba umntwana ukhuselekile, ngamanye amaxesha eyona nto ilungileyo onokuyenza kukunganikeli ingqalelo kakhulu kwindlela aziphethe ngayo ngelo xesha. Ukuba uzama ukuphendula kakhulu (ukhalimele, uxambulisane, mhlawumbi uvumele oko akucelayo), banokuyisebenzisa ukuze bafumane ingqalelo kwakhona okanye bafumane oko bakufunayo.

4. Emva kokuba enomsindo: Xa ethobile, thetha naye ngendlela yothando. Bonisa ukuba uyayiqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo, njengokuthi "Ubunomsindo ngokwenene, akunjalo?" Cacisa ngokulula, "Kodwa bekufanele ukuba uxelele umama/utata endaweni yokukhwaza." Mmange ngothando.

"Asikuko konke ukucaphuka okubangelwa kukuziphatha kakubi komntwana. Kuyinxalenye yophuhliso lwale mihla. Kubalulekile ukuba senze ngomonde, ngokuqonda nangokuqinileyo ngelo xesha."

Okokugqibela, ezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Ngoko ke, ukululeka umntwana wakho luhambo olukhulu. Asinto onokuyenza ngobusuku obunye. Izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu luthando, umonde, kunye nokungaguquguquki.

• Yiba nothando, kodwa uqine: Cacisa imithetho yakho ngothando, kodwa uqine ekuyithobeleni. Musa ukuvumela umntwana wakho abe namathandabuzo ngothando lwakho.
• Ilungele ubudala: Sebenzisa iindlela ezifanelekileyo kwiminyaka, kungekhona indlela umntwana oneminyaka emibini anokuyiqonda ngayo.
• Umonde, umonde, umonde: Ezinye izinto zithatha ixesha lokuba umntwana afunde. Utshintsho oluncinci luya kwenzeka imihla ngemihla. Ungakhathazeki.
• Yiba ngumzekelo: Umntwana wakho ufunda lukhulu koko akubonayo kuwe.
• Kuphephe ukubetha okanye ukusongela: zenzakalisa ngaphezu kokulungileyo. Endaweni yoko, sebenzisa iindlela ezilungileyo.
• Xabisa izinto ezilungileyo (Ukuqinisa Izinto Ezilungileyo): Xabisa nezinto ezintle ezincinci. Ziya kubakhuthaza.
• Awuwedwa: Bonke abazali bajongene nale mingeni. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, funa ingcebiso yezonyango, ingcebiso kumsebenzi wezempilo wosapho, okanye ingcebiso kumntu omdala othembekileyo.

Ukukhulisa umntwana asinto ilula, kodwa luxanduva oluhle noluxabisekileyo. Ndikunqwenelela amandla okwenza olu hambo lube yimpumelelo!

Uqeqesho lomntwana , ukuqeqesha abantwana, Ixesha lokuphumla, Uqeqesho oluhle, Abazali, Abantwana abancinci, Ukuziphatha, Umzekelo, Ukungaguquguquki, Ukucaphuka