Ngaba umntwana wakho uyoyika ugonyamelo lwezibhamu? (Ugonyamelo lwezibhamu) Masithethe ngale nto!

Xa kwenzeka into enzulu efana nogonyamelo ngezibhamu kwilizwe lethu okanye naphi na emhlabeni, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva usoyika kwaye ukhathazekile kukuba kuza kwenzeka into embi kubantwana bethu nakubantu ababathandayo. Ngoko ke, njengomama okanye utata, usenokuba uzibuza, "Ndingathetha njani nomntwana wam ngezi zinto zinzulu? Ndithini? Ndingathini?" Ngumbuzo omkhulu ngokwenene. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, makhe sijonge ezinye izinto ezinokunceda.

Ufanele uthethe nini ngale nto nabantwana bakho?

Xa kwenzeka into efana nodlame ngezibhamu, abantwana basenokungakulungeli ukuthetha ngayo ngoko nangoko. Kunokubathatha ixesha ukuyicubungula baze bayiqonde. Abanye abantwana bafuna ukuthetha, kodwa abazi ukuba baqale njani. Ukuba beza kuwe ngelixa usenza imisebenzi yasekhitshini okanye ucoca indlu, kunokuba luphawu lokuba bafuna ukuthetha nawe ngento ethile. Cinga ngayo, ngamanye amaxesha baya kuqala ukukubuza imibuzo emincinci endaweni yokukubuza ngokuthe ngqo. Kukho abanye abantwana, endaweni yokuthetha , abazoba, bacule, okanye benze into yobugcisa . Yindlela yabo leyo. Kodwa ukuba umntwana wakho akanamdla kangako kweso siganeko, okanye akafuni ukuthetha ngoko nangoko, musa ukuthetha konke konke . Oko kuya kumenza oyike ngakumbi. Ukuba uziva ngathi umntwana wakho unomdla ngento ethile kodwa ubonakala esoyika ukubuza, ungabuza ngothando kakhulu, "Sithandwa, ngaba kukho into ofuna ukuthetha ngayo?" okanye "Ngaba ucinga ngento ethile?"

Yintoni esifanele siyixelele abantwana ngogonyamelo olubangelwa zizibhamu?

Eli linqaku elibaluleke kakhulu. Imibuzo ebuzwa ngumntwana wakho yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokufumana iinkcukacha ezingakanani ekufuneka uzinike zona. Musa ukuzama ukugubungela yonke into ngaxeshanye. Ezinye izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule zezi:

• Xela inyaniso, kodwa ngokulula: Xela inyaniso ngento eyenzekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kuphephe ukungena kwiinkcukacha ezoyikisayo okanye ezingabalulekanga , ingakumbi kubantwana abancinci. Gcina izinto zilula kwaye zifikelele kwinqanaba apho banokuhlangabezana nazo. Umzekelo, ungathi into efana nale, “Nyana/ntombi, kwenzeke into ephazamise abantu abambalwa, kodwa iphelile ngoku. Kukho abantu abadala abanokunyamekela abo babandakanyekayo.” Injongo yakho ephambili kukunciphisa uloyiko lwabo nokubenza bazive bekhuselekile.

• Qonda kwaye uxhase iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho: Ungaze uyithathe lula into ethethwa ngabantwana okanye indlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Ukuba bakuxelela ukuba bakhathazekile okanye bayoyika, musa ukuzama ukuyicinezela iimvakalelo zabo ngokuthi, "Owu, musa ukucinga ngayo. Akukho nto iza kwenzeka kuwe." Endaweni yoko, phinda oko bakuthethileyo, ubenze bazive beqondakala. "Ewe, nyana, ndiyaqonda ukuba uyoyika kakhulu ngesi siganeko. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo." Xa uthetha izinto ezinje, abantwana bayazi ukuba uyabaphulaphula kwaye uyabaqonda.

• Xela iinyaniso ngokweminyaka yomntwana kunye nenqanaba lokuqonda: Ayingabo bonke abantwana abafanayo. Ubudala babo, inqanaba labo lengqondo, kunye nendlela abaziqonda ngayo izinto zahlukile. Ngoko ke, cinga ngendlela abantwana abanokuziqonda baze baziqonde ngayo izinto. Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uzimisele ukuthetha, ungaqala ngokubuza, "Uve ntoni ngaloo nto?" okanye "Bathini abahlobo bakho esikolweni?" Oku kuya kukunceda uqonde oko umntwana sele ekwazi kunye noko kusengqondweni yakhe.

Imiyalelo ngokweqela leminyaka

Abantwana abakwibanga elincinci (malunga neminyaka emi-5-8 ubudala)

Gcina izinto zimfutshane kwaye zilula kubantwana abakule minyaka. Soloko ubakhumbuza ukuba kukho abantu abadala abafana nomama, utata, kunye nootitshala ababanyamekelayo nabakhuselayo. Benze bazive bekhuselekile .

Umzekelo, ukuba bekukho iindaba zokudubulana esikolweni, ungathetha ngento eyenziwa sisikolo sabo ukuze sibakhusele. Umzekelo, ukugcina amasango esikolo evaliwe, ukugcina iingcango zangaphandle zivaliwe, kunye nokwenza uqheliso olungxamisekileyo.

Kubantwana abancinci kakhulu, kunzima 'ukuthetha' oko bakuvayo ngamazwi. Ngelo xesha, ungasebenzisa izinto ezifana neencwadi zemifanekiso, imizobo ozizobela yona, ukubanceda. Ungabaxelela ukuba bazobe oko bakuvayo.

Abantwana abadala (malunga neminyaka eyi-9-12 ubudala)

Ungathetha nabantwana abakule minyaka ngendlela eneenkcukacha ezithe vetshe, kodwa ngendlela abanokuyiqonda. Thetha ngendlela engalunganga ngayo ukwenzakalisa umntu, ukubulala umntu, nokusebenzisa izinto eziyingozi njengezibhamu ngendlela engafanelekanga. Abantwana abakule minyaka bahlala bebuza imibuzo efana nale, “Ngaba ndikhuselekile ngokwenene?” okanye “Ndingazikhusela njani?” “Kutheni abantu besenza oku?” Bachazele ukuba uluntu lwethu kunye nesikolo sabo benza ntoni ukubakhusela. Bavumele bathethe .

Ulutsha (iminyaka eli-13 nangaphezulu)

Ulutsha lunokuba neemvakalelo ezinzulu kunye nezimvo malunga nezinto ezinje ngogonyamelo lwezibhamu. Ngoko ungababuza ngokuthe ngqo, “Ucinga ntoni ngento eyenzekileyo?” Mamela izimvo zabo. Ungathetha nangesizathu sokuba abantu bahlukumeze abanye ngolu hlobo. Kusenokuba kungenxa yokuba baneengxaki zempilo yengqondo , okanye banengxaki yokulawula umsindo wabo, okanye basebenzisa iziyobisi okanye utywala . Bazise ukuba kukho abantu kuluntu abanokubanceda kwezi meko (ezifana noogqirha, ootitshala, amapolisa, iinkokheli zonqulo). Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ukuba baziva benomsindo, bedanile, okanye bexinezelekile, banokuthetha nawe okanye nomnye umntu omdala othembekileyo ngaphandle kokuyigcina kubo.Khumbuza umntwana wakho ukuba athi ewe. Eli likwalixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha ngeengozi zeziyobisi notywala. Ukuba awukwazi ukufumana impendulo yombuzo umntwana wakho awubuzayo ngoko nangoko, yithi, "Andazi ngokuqinisekileyo, nyana, kodwa ndiza kuwukhangela ndikuxelele." Okanye, zama ukufumana impendulo kunye usebenzisa iiwebhusayithi ezithembekileyo nezifanelekileyo ngokweminyaka.

Nokuba umntwana wakho uneminyaka emingaphi, mamela ngomonde . Yiyo loo nto ibalulekileyo. Vumela abantwana babuze imibuzo, bathethe ngezinto abazoyikayo, baze bakuxelele yonke into esezingqondweni zabo. Kungaba luncedo kakhulu kubo nakuwe xa bekhupha iimvakalelo zabo.

Yintoni enye endifanele ndiyazi?

Zikhona nezinye izinto ezincinci onokuzenza ngaphandle kokuthetha.

• Lumka ngezinto ezibukelwa ngabantwana bakho: Nciphisa oko abantwana bakho bakubonayo malunga nobundlobongela bezibhamu kwiTV, kwi-intanethi, nakwiindaba zoluntu. Nangona abantwana benokuba nomdla, ezo ziganeko kunye neenkcukacha zinokubacaphukisa, boyike, kwaye baxhalabe ngakumbi. Lumka malunga nokuba uthetha kangakanani ngolu hlobo lweendaba phambi kwabo. Musa ukushiya iindaba kwiTV yakho imini yonke ekhaya.

• Yenza abantwana bazive belawula: Emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu njengokudubula, abantu abaninzi baziva bengenakunceda. Ngamaxesha anje, ukufumana into encinci yokwenza ukunceda abanye kunokunceda abantwana bazive belawula imeko yabo. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, babandakanye abantwana bakho kwizinto ezifana nokunikela ngezinto kwabo basweleyo, ukuzithandela, okanye ukubhala iileta ukuze ubathuthuzele. Babonise amabali amahle malunga nendlela abanye abanceda ngayo ngamaxesha anje.

• Xelela abantwana bakho ukuba ukuba neliso elibukhali kunokunceda ekuthinteleni ezi zinto: Ukuba beva okanye befunda into yokuba umntu uzama ukwenzakalisa omnye umntu, kufuneka bakuxelele ngoko nangoko, wena notitshala esikolweni, okanye omnye umntu omdala othembekileyo . Ukuba babona umhlobo okanye umntu abamaziyo onomsindo kakhulu okanye odandathekileyo, baxelele ukuba kubalulekile ukuxelela umntu omdala.

• Ukuba unako, thetha nabantwana bakho malunga nokhuseleko lwezibhamu ngendlela abanokuyiqonda. Izibhamu azizozinto zokudlala, kwaye uchaze iingozi ezinokubangela ngokulula.

• Qhubeka nomsebenzi wemihla ngemihla ngolu hlobo lulandelayo:Emva kwesiganeko esinje, ukugcina inkqubo yemihla ngemihla yomntwana wakho iqhelekile kangangoko kunokwenzeka kunokubanceda bazive bekhuselekile. Qinisekisa ukuba bafumana umthambo owaneleyo, balala ngokwaneleyo, kwaye batya ngexesha. Qinisekisa ukuba benza yonke imisebenzi yabo yasekhaya kwaye baya kwimidlalo nakwiiklabhu zasemva kwesikolo. Kodwa khumbula, ukuba banengxaki yokujongana nezi zinto, musa ukubanyanzela . Banike ixesha lokuphumla.

• Lumkela uxinezeleko: Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana bazive bexinezelekile emva kweziganeko ezinje. Ukuba ubona utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo (ukungalali kakuhle, ukungatyi, ukoyika yonke into, ukungafuni ukuba phakathi kwabanye abantu, ukuhlala exhalabile, ukuphelelwa ngumdla kwizinto awayezenza) ezihlala iintsuku ezimbalwa, musa ukulibazisa ukuthetha nogqirha wakho wosapho okanye ingcali yempilo yengqondo yabantwana ('umboneleli wezempilo wokuziphatha' okanye 'ingcali yengqondo yabantwana'). Banokunceda umntwana wakho ukuba alawule uxinezeleko lwakhe kwaye bamncede ukuba ajongane nale meko.

Ekugqibeleni, uthando lwakho, inkxaso yakho, kunye nonxibelelwano oluhle zezona zinto ziya kunceda abantwana bakho bazive bomelele kwezi zihlandlo zinzima. Ungabanceda bazive bekhuselekile kwaye bekhuselekile.

Okokugqibela, izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Ngamafutshane, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ngezi ziganeko zoyikekayo nezibuhlungu uze uziphulaphule.

• Mamela ngomonde nangothando. Mamela de bagqibe oko bakuthethayo.
• Thetha ngamazwi alula afanele iminyaka yabo.
• Qonda iimvakalelo zabo (uloyiko, usizi, umsindo) kwaye ubaxhase. Yithi, "Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive ngaloo ndlela."
• Uhlala unabo, soloko ubenza bazive bekhuselekile. Bagone.
• Ukuba ubona utshintsho olungaqhelekanga oluqhubekayo kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo, musa ukulibazisa ukufuna ingcebiso kagqirha.
• Ufanele ukhathalele nempilo yakho yengqondo. Kuphela xa unamandla apho umntwana wakho anokuba namandla.

Ngezi zinto, ungamnceda umntwana wakho akhe ukuzithemba emva kweziganeko ezoyikisayo, umnike amandla, kwaye umncede ahlakulele isimo sengqondo esihle ngehlabathi.

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Ingqondo Yomntwana, Abantwana Nobundlobongela, Ukudubula, Impilo Yengqondo, Ingcebiso Yobuzali, Ukufundisa Abantwana, Ukhuseleko Lomntwana