Nangona umthanda kakhulu umntwana wakho, ngaba ngamanye amaxesha ukhe uzibuze ukuba umntwana wakho uza kukubuyisela olo thando nothando kuwe? Ngaba umntwana wakho uyayeka xa usiya kumgona? Ngaba uziva ngathi kunzima ukuqonda okwenzekayo engqondweni yakhe? Umele ukuba uziva ulusizi kwaye uxhalabile ngenxa yezinto ezinje. Liliva elinzima kakhulu. Namhlanje sithetha ngemeko enjalo. Siyibiza ngokuba yiReactive Attachment Disorder, okanye (RAD) ngamafutshane. Le yingxaki yokunamathelana ngokweemvakalelo phakathi komntwana nomntu oyintloko yokunyamekela umntwana (umama, utata okanye umnakekeli). Makhe sithethe ngale nto ngokweenkcukacha.
Ngamafutshane, yintoni iReactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Ingxaki Yokunamathela Esabelayo (i-RAD) yimeko apho umntwana engakhi ubudlelwane obusempilweni ngokweemvakalelo nabanakekeli bakhe abaphambili (sibabiza ngokuba 'ngabanakekeli'). Isizathu esiphambili soku sidla ngokuba kwasebuntwaneni, ngexesha lobuntwana, xa umntwana engakhathalelwa ngokweemvakalelo okanye exhatshazwa ngandlela ithile.
Abantwana abanale meko banengxaki yokulawula nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo . Bakwanengxaki yokwakha ubudlelwane obunenjongo nobunzulu nabanye abantu. Abantwana abane-RAD abafane bafune intuthuzelo okanye babonise iimpawu zokuthuthuzelwa. Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba banothando nobubele kangakanani na abanakekeli babo, sinokubona umntwana emoyika okanye exhalabile ngabo.
Ngubani ochaphazeleka kakhulu yile meko?
Le meko idla ngokubonakala kubantwana abaye bangahoywa okanye baxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abadala banokuba ne-RAD. Umntwana usengozini enkulu yokufumana i-RAD ukuba:
- Utshintsho oluqhubekayo ekunakekelweni: Cinga ngoku: Abanye abantwana bafakwa kwiimeko zokhathalelo lwabantwana abangengobabo. Xa betshintsha-tshintsha iindawo rhoqo, umntwana akanalo ithuba lokwenza ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli nomntu ofanayo.
- Ukwahlukana nabanakekeli abaphambili: Ukuba umntwana ubonakalise ulwalamano oluhle ngokweemvakalelo nabazali bakhe, aze emva koko ahlukane nabo ngesizathu esithile, oko kunokuba ngumothuko omkhulu kumntwana.
- Ukulahlekelwa yintlungu ebomini: Ukuba neziganeko ezininzi ezibuhlungu, njengokufa okanye ukulahlekelwa okukhulu, kwasebuntwaneni.
- Abantu abakhathalela umntwana abasondelelene ngokweemvakalelo: Abanye abazali okanye abanakekeli abazami ukuba kufutshane nomntwana ngokweemvakalelo. Ababonisi mdla wokuqonda iimvakalelo zomntwana okanye ukumthuthuzela.
- Ukukhulisa abantwana kwiziko:Abantwana abakhulela kwiindawo ezifana neendawo zokugcina iinkedama basenokungafumani ngqalelo yomntu omnye onothando nobanakekelayo.
Oku kunokuba nzima ngakumbi kubazali abamthatha umntwana, kuba basenokungalazi ibali elipheleleyo lexesha elidlulileyo lomntwana wabo. Ukuba ungumzali omtsha othatha umntwana kwaye umntwana wakho ubonisa iimpawu ze-RAD, okanye unengxaki yokunxulumana nomntwana wakho, ayilotyala lakho. Qiniseka ukuba uthetha nogqirha womntwana wakho ngayo loo nto.
Ziziphi iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ze-RAD?
Wonke umntwana unokubonisa iimpawu ezizodwa. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ezinokubonakala kwiintsana nakubantwana abancinci. Masiziqonde ngokucacileyo ezi.
| Uphawu | Ithetha ntoni le nto? |
|---|---|
| Ukungabonakalisi iimvakalelo ezintle | Xa uphakathi kwabanye abantu, awubonisi naziphi na iimvakalelo ezintle ezifana nentuthuzelo, uthando, okanye ulonwabo ebusweni bakho okanye kwizenzo zakho. Uzenza ngathi awunamsebenzi konke konke. |
| Ukuphepha ukudibana emehlweni nokudibana ngokwasemzimbeni | Xa umntu ekujongile emehlweni, ekugona, okanye ekubamba ngesandla, uyarhoxa. Awufuni ukusondela ngokoqobo. |
| Ukubonisa uloyiko okanye umsindo | Babonisa umsindo ngokukhwaza kakhulu nangokuphosa izinto phantsi (‘ingqumbo’). Basoloko bengonwabanga kwaye belusizi. |
| Ukuzama ukulawula | Bakhangela izinto kwindawo abakuyo abanokuzilawula. Oku kunokubangela ukuba baphule imithetho. |
Yintoni umahluko phakathi kwe-RAD kunye ne-DSED?
Kukho enye imeko enxulumene ne-RAD, kodwa yahlukile kancinci. Ibizwa ngokuba yi-Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED). Kubalulekile ukuqonda umahluko phakathi kwezi zimbini.
| Uphawu | Ingxaki yokuncamathelisa esebenzayo (i-RAD) | Ingxaki Yokuzibandakanya Emphakathini Engathintelwanga (DSED) |
|---|---|---|
| Ukuziphatha nabazali | Ukuphepha abagcini. Ukuzama ukuhlala kude. | Mhlawumbi unokuba nobuhlobo kakhulu nomntu. |
| Ukuziphatha nabantu ongabaziyo | Ndiyakuthanda ukuba ndedwa, kude noluntu. | Ubuhlobo obugqithisileyo nabantu ongabaziyo. Usenokulingeka ukuba ahambe nabantu ongabaziyo nokuba akacelanga kubazali bakhe. |
| Ukufuna intuthuzelo | Uyaxhathisa xa umntu ezama ukumthuthuzela (umz., ukumgona). | Ukulindela ingqalelo nothando kuye nabani na. |
| Ukuziphatha okuqhelekileyo | Nangona besazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kufutshane nabo, abaphenduli ngokweemvakalelo. | Baziphatha njengabantwana abancinci kunobudala babo. Abayiqondi imida yoluntu. |
Yintoni ebangela le meko ye-RAD?
Akukho sizathu sithile nesicacileyo sale nto. Izifundo zibonisa ukuba kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba umntwana angabi nolwalamano nabanakekeli bakhe. Ezona ziphambili zezi:
- Ukuxhatshazwa okanye ukungahoywa: Umntwana uziva elahliwe kwaye eyedwa.
- Iimfuno ezisisiseko ezingafezekiswanga:Xa umntwana engafumani izinto eziyimfuneko ebomini, njengokutya, ucoceko, kunye nokhuseleko, akakhulisi ukuzithemba kwihlabathi.
- Uloyiko lokhuseleko: Umntwana uhlala esoyika ukuba usengozini.
- Ukungabikho kococeko: Izinto ezinje ngokuhlala kwi-napkin emanzi kangangeeyure ezininzi zinokwenza umntwana azive engakhululekanga kwaye engakhathalelwanga.
- Ukunyamekela okungaguquguqukiyo: Iimfuno zomntwana ziyafezekiswa ngamaxesha athile. Umntwana ulahlekelwa nakuphi na ukuqiniseka malunga nokuba uza kuthuthuzelwa okanye uza kunikwa oko akufunayo.
Ngamafutshane, xa iimfuno zomntwana ezisisiseko zomzimba nezeemvakalelo zifezekiswa rhoqo nangokungaguquguqukiyo, ukuthembana kwakhiwa phakathi komntwana nomntu omnyamekelayo. Olu kuthembana lusisiseko sobudlelwane obuphilileyo. Ukuba ezi mfuno azifezekiswa, umntwana usengozini enkulu yokuphuhlisa i-RAD.
Ugqirha uyixilonga njani le meko?
Ukuze axilonge i-RAD, ugqirha wakho uza kukubuza ngembali yezonyango zomntwana wakho kunye neempawu zakhe. Ugqirha unokubuza imibuzo efana nale:
- Ngaba umntwana wakho ukhe waphathwa gadalala okanye waphathwa kakubi?
- Uqale nini ukuqaphela ezi mpawu?
- Wena nomntwana wakho niphila njani kakuhle?
- Injani imeko yokuphila kosapho lwakho?
- Ngaba bakhona abanye abantu abanyamekela umntwana abajongene naye?
Ngokusekelwe kolu lwazi, ukuba ugqirha urhanela ukuba une-RAD, angathumela umntwana kugqirha wabantwana , kwingcali yezengqondo, okanye kwingcali yezengqondo ukuze axilonge ngokufanelekileyo aze acebise unyango olufanelekileyo.
Ngaba i-RAD kunye ne-Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) zinokubhideka?
Ewe, ngamanye amaxesha iimpawu zezi meko zimbini zinokufana xa zijongwa. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba ugqirha agqibe kwelokuba umntwana une-RAD, uya kuvavanya ukuqinisekisa ukuba azikho ezinye iimeko, ezifana ne -Autism Spectrum Disorder ( ASD ) . Umahluko ophambili kukuba i-ASD yimeko yokukhula. Ayibangelwa kukuxhatshazwa okanye ukungahoywa. Ngelixa i-RAD inxulumene ngokuthe ngqo namava omntwana okuqala.
Ziziphi iindlela zonyango ze-RAD?
Injongo ephambili yonyango lwe-RAD kukulungisa ubudlelwane oboyikisayo okanye obunzima phakathi komntwana nomnakekeli kunye nokudala ubudlelwane obusempilweni ngokweemvakalelo. Olu nyango lunceda umntwana kunye nomnakekeli.
| Indlela yonyango | Kalula nje… |
|---|---|
| Unyango lwengqondo/Ingcebiso | Umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo usebenza nomntwana kunye nabazali ukubanceda bakhe izakhono eziphilileyo zeemvakalelo kunye nokunciphisa iindlela zokuziphatha ezinengxaki eziphazamisana nobudlelwane. |
| Unyango loSapho | Abo banyamekela abantwana kunye nomntwana basebenzisana ukuphuhlisa iindlela eziphilileyo zokunxibelelana. |
| Ungenelelo lweZakhono zoLuntu | Umntwana ufundiswa indlela yokuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo kwiimeko eziqhelekileyo zentlalo kunye noontanga bakhe. Nabazali bayabandakanyeka koku. |
| Imfundo eKhethekileyo | Ukuba umntwana uyayidinga, iinkqubo zesikolo zimnceda umntwana afunde izakhono zokuphumelela kwizifundo nakwezentlalo. |
| Iiklasi zeZakhono zoBuzali | Abazali banokufunda indlela yokulawula ukuziphatha okunzima komntwana wabo ngempumelelo. |
Ndingamnceda njani umntwana wam, njengomnakekeli?
Kunye nonyango, njengomnakekeli, unokwenza izinto ezininzi ukwakha ubudlelwane obusempilweni nomntwana wakho.
1. Misela imida ecacileyo
Indawo ehlala ihleli iluncedo kakhulu kubo bonke abantwana. Ke ngoko, ukubeka imida kubaluleke kakhulu. Ngemida efanelekileyo kunye neendlela ezifanelekileyo zokuqeqesha ezingezizo ezomzimba , abantwana bayazi ukuba kulindeleke ntoni kubo kwaye kuya kwenzeka ntoni ukuba bayaphula imithetho. Oku kunciphisa uloyiko lwabantwana kwaye kubakhuthaze ukuba baziphathe ngokufanelekileyo.
2. Nokuba umntwana wakho akaziphathanga kakuhle, uhlala uzolile.
Xa umntwana wakho eziphatha kakubi, hlala uzolile. Musa ukusabela xa unomsindo. Mqeqeshe umntwana wakho ngokwemithetho oye wayixoxa nomntwana wakho ngaphambili. Nje ukuba umntwana wakho athobe umsindo kwaye ekulungele ukuba nawe kwakhona, mbonise uthando nenkathalo. Oku kubonisa umntwana wakho ukuba ukulungele ukumxhasa nokuba ngamaxesha anzima.
3. Nika uthando nengqalelo eninzi
Chitha ixesha wedwa nomntwana wakho. Thetha naye, cula iingoma, dlala naye. Mmange, mbambe. Kodwa khumbula ukuba abanye abantwana abayithandi kakhulu le ndlela yokunxibelelana ngokomzimba. Ungaze usebenzise ukugodla uthando nothando njengohlobo lwesohlwayo.
Ndifanele ndimbone nini ugqirha?
Ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki yokwakha ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo, okanye ukuba umntwana wakho uneempawu ze-RAD ezikhankanyiweyo kweli nqaku, bona ugqirha womntwana wakho ngokukhawuleza ukuze akunike icebiso. Okukhona esi sifo sichongwa kwaye sinyangwa kwangoko, kokukhona amathuba okuba umntwana wakho aphumelele.
Ukufuna uncedo kugqirha akuthethi ukuba ungumzali ombi. Kuvula nje ucango lokwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, obusempilweni, nobomi bonke nomntwana wakho.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ingxaki Yokunamathela Esabelayo (i-RAD) yimeko enzima, kodwa enyangekayo, ebangelwa kukungahoywa kwasebuntwaneni okanye ukwenzakala emntwaneni.
- Oku akulotyala lomntwana okanye ityala labazali abathathe uxanduva lokukhulisa umntwana.
- Iimpawu eziphambili kukuzihlukanisa ngokweemvakalelo, ukungavumi ukuthuthuzelwa, kunye nobunzima bokwakha ubudlelwane nabanye.
- Injongo ephambili yonyango kukwakha ulwalamano olukhuselekileyo, oluzinzileyo nolunothando phakathi komntwana kunye nomnakekeli.
- Ukufuna iingcebiso zonyango kwangethuba, kunye nokubonelela ngothando nenkathalo ngesigulana nangokungaguquguqukiyo kubaluleke kakhulu kwikamva lomntwana.
Ingxaki yokunamathela esabelayo, i-RAD, impilo yengqondo yomntwana, ukuziphatha komntwana, ukunamathela ngokweemvakalelo, ubudlelwane babazali, ukungahoywa, unyango
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