Wake wazizwa kanje? Uma uya kudokotela, uzizwa sengathi awukwazi ukuzwa yonke imibuzo engqondweni yakho... Noma uma utshela umndeni wakho ngenkinga yakho yempilo futhi bengakuqondi kahle... Kufanele sibhekane nezinto ezinjengalezi izikhathi eziningi empilweni. Isizathu salokhu ukuthi sesikhohlwe kancane ngokuzikhulumela, okungukuthi, ukuveza ngokucacile izidingo zethu, imizwa, kanye nemibono. Yilokho esikubiza ngokuthi 'Ukuzimela'.
Kalula nje, kuyini 'ukuzimela'?
Ukuzimela kuyisenzo sokuzimela, uzikhulumele. Kuyikhono lokukhuluma ngokucacile nangokuzethemba nabanye ngezidingo zakho, amalungelo akho, imizwa yakho kanye nokulinganiselwa kwakho. Akukhona ukulwa noma ukuba nolaka. Kumayelana nokuphakamisa izwi lakho ngendlela ezolile kodwa eqinile.
Leli khono libaluleke kakhulu ezindabeni eziphathelene nezempilo. Cabanga ukuthi unokungabaza okuncane ngomuthi onikezwe udokotela. Ufuna ukwazi ngemiphumela yawo emibi. Khona-ke kufanele ukwazi ukubuza, "Dokotela, ungangichazela kancane ngemiphumela emibi yalo muthi?" Yilokho ukuzikhulumela. Akuyona into ozalwa nayo; kuyikhono elibalulekile esingalisebenzisa futhi silithuthukise.
Kungani leli khono libaluleke kangaka kuwe?
Ukufunda ukuzikhulumela kunezinzuzo eziningi empilweni yakho.
- Imiphumela engcono yempilo: Uma ukhuluma ngokukhululekile nodokotela wakho ngezimpawu zakho, imibuzo, kanye nokwesaba kwakho, angakunikeza ukwelashwa okufanele nokunembile kakhulu.
- Ukuzethemba okwengeziwe: Uma uqala ukuzwa ukuthi imibono yakho inenani, ukuzethemba kwakho kuzokhula ngokuzenzakalelayo.
- Inhlalakahle yengqondo: Ukukwazi ukuveza izinto ngaphandle kokuzibamba kuyindlela enhle yokunciphisa ukucindezeleka.
- Ukulawula impilo yakho: Wena wenza izinqumo empilweni yakho. Izwi lakho liyinto ebaluleke kakhulu uma kuziwa ekwenzeni izinqumo mayelana nempilo yakho kanye nenjabulo yakho. Ngaleli khono, ungalilawula.
Khumbula, ungumlingiswa oyinhloko endabeni yokuphila kwakho, ngakho izidingo zakho zibaluleke kakhulu kunanoma yini enye.
Ungalithuthukisa kanjani leli khono?
Lokhu akuyona into ongayenza ngobusuku obubodwa. Kodwa ngokuzijwayeza, ungakwenza kalula. Kunezinsika ezine eziyinhloko zalokhu. Ake sizibheke kuleli thebula.
| Ikhono | Kalula nje... | Indlela yokujwayela |
|---|---|---|
| Ukuzethemba | Ukukholelwa ukuthi imizwa yakho, izidingo zakho, kanye nemibono yakho kuyazuzisa. | Qala kancane. Iya esitolo ucele ukuthi yini oyifunayo. Prakthiza ukusho into oyifunayo phambi kwesibuko. |
| Ukuxhumana | Ukutshela omunye umuntu okusengqondweni yakho ngokucacile, ngokuthula, nangenhlonipho. | Ngaphambi kokuthi uye kudokotela, bhala phansi imibuzo ofuna ukuyibuza. Qala imisho ngamagama anjengokuthi 'Ngiyacabanga' noma 'Ngiyazizwa'. |
| Ukubambisana | Esikhundleni sokufuna izimpendulo zenkinga wedwa, funa ikhambi kanye nomuntu ofanele (isib. udokotela, ilungu lomndeni). | Buza imibuzo efana nokuthi, "Dokotela, sizokwenzenjani ngalokhu?" Sebenzisa igama elithi "thina" esikhundleni sokuthi "Mina." |
| Ulwazi Lwezinsizakusebenza | Qaphela ukuthi ungatholaphi usizo, abantu, kanye nolwazi olunembile. | Buza udokotela wakho ngamawebhusayithi athembekile angakusiza ukuthola ulwazi ngesimo sakho. Uma udinga usizo, thola umuntu ongakhuluma naye ngakho. |
Lezi zinto zizokusiza lapho ukhuluma nodokotela wakho.
Ukuvakashela udokotela kungaba yinto eyesabekayo ngezinye izikhathi. Kodwa yindawo engcono kakhulu yokukhuluma ngempilo yakho. Nazi ezinye izinto ezingakusiza ngalesi sikhathi:
- Lungiselela ngaphambi kokuqokwa kwakho: Gcina ibhuku elincane lemininingwane yokuthi izimpawu zakho zaqala nini, ukuthi zaba zimbi kangakanani, nokuthi uzizwa kanjani. Bhala phansi nanoma yimiphi imibuzo ongase ube nayo.
- Khuluma iqiniso: Ungafihli lutho. Ngezinye izikhathi izinto onamahloni ukuzisho ziyizicucu ezibaluleke kakhulu zobufakazi bokukusiza ukuthi uhlole isimo sakho.
- Ungesabi ukubuza imibuzo: "Ungachaza lokhu okwengeziwe?", "Ingabe kukhona ezinye izindlela ngaphandle kwalokhu kwelashwa?", "Ngidinga ukuthatha lo muthi isikhathi esingakanani?" Ungesabi ukubuza imibuzo efana nale.
- Uma ungaqondi, buza futhi: Ngezinye izikhathi asiqondi amagama ezokwelapha asetshenziswa udokotela. Ngaleso sikhathi, akukho okubi ngokubuza ukuthi, "Angiqondi lokho, ungakuchaza kalula?"
- Yabelana ngemicabango yakho: Uma ungaqiniseki ngokwelashwa noma ukwesaba, khuluma ngakho ngokukhululekile. Uhlelo lokwelashwa olungcono kakhulu lungakhiwa kuphela ngokubamba kwakho iqhaza.
Ukuthuthukisa leli khono kufana nokuzivocavoca. Kunzima ukuqala, kodwa njengoba uqhubeka, kuba yingxenye yempilo yakho. Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi unelungelo lokukhulumela impilo yakho, injabulo yakho, kanye nokuphila kwakho.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukuzimela kuyikhono elibalulekile ongalisebenzisa futhi ulithuthukise.
- Ukukhuluma ngokucacile ngezidingo zakho nemizwa yakho kungakusiza ukuthi uthole ukunakekelwa kwempilo okungcono futhi kwandise ukuzethemba kwakho.
- Uma uya kudokotela, bhala phansi imibuzo nezimpawu zakho. Ungesabi ukubuza imibuzo, futhi uma ungaqondi, buza futhi.
- Ukubeka izidingo zakho kuqala akusikho ubugovu. Kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yakho.
- Qala ngezinyathelo ezincane. Njengoba uzijwayeza kancane nsuku zonke, lokhu kuzoba lula kakhulu kuwe.
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