Ingabe ingane yakho iyesaba ubudlova bezibhamu? (Ubudlova Bezibhamu) Ake sixoxe ngalokhu!

Uma kwenzeka into engathi sína njengodlame lwezibhamu ezweni lakithi noma kunoma iyiphi indawo emhlabeni, kuyinto evamile ukuzizwa wesaba futhi ukhathazekile ngokuthi kuzokwenzeka into embi ezinganeni zethu nakubantu abathandayo. Ngakho-ke, njengomama noma ubaba, ungase uzibuze, "Ngingakhuluma kanjani nengane yami ngalezi zinto ezingathi sína? Kufanele ngithini? Yini okungafanele ngiyisho?" Umbuzo omkhulu ngempela. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, ake sibheke ezinye izinto ezingasiza.

Kufanele ukhulume nini ngalokhu nezingane zakho?

Uma kwenzeka into efana nodlame lwezibhamu, izingane zingase zingakulungeli ukukhuluma ngayo ngokushesha. Kungazithatha isikhathi ukuyicubungula futhi ziyiqonde. Ezinye izingane zifuna ukukhuluma, kodwa azazi ukuthi ziqale kanjani. Uma ziza kuwe ngenkathi wenza imisebenzi yasekhaya ekhishini noma uhlanza indlu, kungaba uphawu lokuthi zifuna ukukhuluma nawe ngento ethile. Cabanga ngakho, ngezinye izikhathi zizoqala ukukubuza imibuzo emincane esikhundleni sokukubuza ngqo. Kukhona ezinye izingane, esikhundleni sokukhuluma , ezidweba, ezicula, noma ezenza into yobuciko . Yileyo ndlela yazo. Kodwa uma ingane yakho ingenasithakazelo kulesi sigameko, noma ingafuni ukukhuluma ngokushesha, ungakhulumi nhlobo . Lokho kuzoyenza yesabe kakhulu. Uma uzizwa sengathi ingane yakho inesithakazelo ngento ethile kodwa ibonakala yesaba ukubuza, ungabuza ngothando kakhulu, "Sthandwa, kukhona yini ofuna ukukhuluma ngayo?" noma "Ingabe ucabanga ngento ethile?"

Yini okufanele siyitshele izingane ngobudlova bezibhamu?

Leli iphuzu elibaluleke kakhulu. Imibuzo ebuzwa yingane yakho iyisiqondiso esihle kakhulu sokuthi kufanele unikeze imininingwane engakanani. Ungazami ukumboza yonke into ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ezinye izinto okufanele uzikhumbule yilezi:

• Khuluma iqiniso, kodwa kalula: Khuluma iqiniso ngokwenzekile. Kodwa-ke, gwema ukuya emininingwaneni eyesabekayo noma engadingeki , ikakhulukazi ezinganeni ezincane. Gcina izinto zilula futhi zifinyelele lapho zingazisingatha khona. Isibonelo, ungathi into efana nokuthi, “Ndodana/ndodakazi, kwenzeke okuthile okucasule abantu abambalwa, kodwa sekuphelile manje. Kukhona abantu abadala abangabanakekela labo abahilelekile.” Umgomo wakho oyinhloko kufanele kube ukunciphisa ukwesaba kwabo nokubenza bazizwe bephephile.

• Qonda futhi usekele imizwa yengane yakho: Ungalokothi ubukele phansi lokho okushiwo yizingane noma indlela ezizizwa ngayo. Uma zikutshela ukuthi zicasukile noma ziyesaba, ungazami ukucindezela imizwa yazo ngokusho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "O, ungacabangi ngakho. Akukho okuzokwenzeka kuwe." Kunalokho, phinda lokho ezikushoyo, uzenze zizizwe ziqondakala. "Yebo, ndodana, ngiyaqonda ukuthi uyesaba kakhulu ngalesi sigameko. Lokho kuyinto evamile." Uma usho izinto ezinjengalezi, izingane ziyazi ukuthi uzilalela ngempela futhi uyaziqonda.

• Xoxa amaqiniso ngokweminyaka yengane kanye nezinga lokuqonda: Akuzona zonke izingane ezifanayo. Iminyaka yazo, izinga lazo lengqondo, kanye nendlela eziqonda ngayo izinto kuhlukile. Ngakho-ke, cabanga ngokuthi izingane zingaziqonda futhi zimunce kangakanani izinto. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ingane yakho izimisele ukukhuluma, ungaqala ngokubuza, "Uzweni ngaleso sigameko?" noma "Abangani bakho bathini esikoleni?" Lokhu kuzokusiza uqonde lokho ingane esikwaziyo kakade kanye nalokho okusengqondweni yayo.

Imiyalelo ngokweqembu leminyaka

Izingane ezisebangeni elincane (cishe iminyaka engu-5-8 ubudala)

Gcina izinto zimfushane futhi zilula ezinganeni ezikule minyaka. Hlala ubakhumbuza ukuthi kunabantu abadala abafana nomama, ubaba, nothisha ababanakekelayo futhi babavikele. Benze bazizwe bephephile .

Isibonelo, uma kunezindaba zokudutshulwa kwesikole, ungakhuluma ngalokho okwenziwa yisikole sabo ukuze sibagcine bephephile. Isibonelo, ukugcina amasango esikole evaliwe, ukugcina iminyango yangaphandle ivaliwe, kanye nokwenza izivivinyo eziphuthumayo.

Kubantwana abancane kakhulu, kunzima 'ukusho' ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngamazwi. Ngaleso sikhathi, ungasebenzisa izinto ezifana nezincwadi zezithombe, imidwebo ozidweba wena, ukuze ubasize. Ungazitshela ukuthi zidwebe lokho ezikuzwayo.

Izingane ezindala (cishe iminyaka engu-9-12)

Ungakhuluma nezingane zalonyaka ngendlela enemininingwane ethe xaxa, kodwa ngendlela ezingayiqonda. Khuluma ngokuthi akulungile kanjani ukulimaza umuntu, ukubulala umuntu, nokusebenzisa izinto eziyingozi njengezibhamu ngendlela engafanele. Izingane zalonyaka zivame ukubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi, “Ingabe ngiphephile ngempela?” noma “Ngingazivikela kanjani?” “Kungani abantu benza lokhu?” Bachazele ukuthi umphakathi wethu kanye nesikole sabo benzani ukuze babavikele. Bavumele baveze umbono wabo .

Intsha (iminyaka engu-13+)

Intsha ingaba nemizwa nemibono enamandla kakhulu ngezinto ezifana nodlame lwezibhamu. Ngakho-ke ungababuza ngqo, “Ucabangani ngokwenzekile?” Lalela imibono yabo. Ungakhuluma nangokuthi kungani abantu belimaza abanye ngale ndlela. Kungaba ngoba benesifo sengqondo , noma benenkinga yokulawula intukuthelo yabo, noma basebenzisa izidakamizwa noma utshwala . Bazise ukuthi kunabantu emphakathini abangabasiza kulezi zimo (njengodokotela, othisha, amaphoyisa, abaholi benkolo). Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uma bezizwa bethukuthele, bekhungathekile, noma becindezelekile, bangakhuluma nawe noma nomunye umuntu omdala omethembayo ngaphandle kokukugcina kuyimfihlo.Khumbuza ingane yakho ukuthi ithi yebo. Lesi futhi yisikhathi esihle sokukhuluma ngezingozi zezidakamizwa notshwala. Uma ungakwazi ukuthola impendulo yombuzo ingane yakho ewubuzayo ngokushesha, yithi, "Angazi ngokuqinisekile, ndodana, kodwa ngizowufuna bese ngikutshela." Noma, zama ukuthola impendulo ndawonye usebenzisa amawebhusayithi athembekile nafanele ubudala.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingane yakho ineminyaka emingaki, lalela ngesineke . Yilokho okubaluleke kakhulu. Vumela izingane zibuze imibuzo, zikhulume ngokwesaba kwazo, futhi zikutshele konke okusezingqondweni zazo. Kungaba impumuzo enkulu kuzo zombili kanye nakuwe uma ziveza imizwa yazo.

Yini enye engidinga ukuyazi?

Kunezinye izinto ezincane ongazenza ngaphandle kokukhuluma.

• Qaphela lokho izingane zakho ezikubukelayo: Nciphisa lokho izingane zakho ezikubonayo mayelana nodlame lwezibhamu ku-TV, ku-inthanethi, kanye nasezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Nakuba izingane zingase zibe nelukuluku lokwazi, lezo zigcawu kanye nemininingwane kungenza zicasuke, zesabe futhi zikhathazeke kakhulu. Qaphela ukuthi ukhuluma kangakanani ngalolu hlobo lwezindaba phambi kwazo. Ungashiyi izindaba ku-TV yakho usuku lonke ekhaya.

• Yenza izingane zizizwe zilawula: Ngemva kwesenzakalo esibuhlungu njengokudubula, abantu abaningi bazizwa bengenalusizo. Ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi, ukuthola into encane yokwenza ukusiza abanye kungasiza izingane zizizwe zilawula isimo sazo. Uma kungenzeka, bandakanya izingane zakho ezintweni ezinjengokunikela ngezinto kulabo abaswele, ukuzithandela, noma ukubhala izincwadi ukuze uziduduze. Zibonise izindaba ezinhle mayelana nendlela abanye abasiza ngayo ezikhathini ezinjengalezi.

• Tshela izingane zakho ukuthi ukuqaphela kungasiza ekuvimbeleni lezi zinto: Uma zizwa noma zifunda ngomuntu ozama ukulimaza omunye umuntu, kufanele zitshele wena, uthisha esikoleni, noma omunye umuntu omdala omethembayo ngokushesha . Uma zibona umngane noma umuntu ezijwayele obonakala ethukuthele kakhulu noma ecindezelekile, zitshele ukuthi kubalulekile nokutshela umuntu omdala.

• Uma ukwazi, khuluma nezingane zakho ngokuphepha kwezibhamu ngendlela ezingayiqonda. Izibhamu azizona izinto zokudlala, futhi uchaze izingozi ezingabangelwa kalula.

• Qhubeka nenqubo yansuku zonke kanje:Ngemva kwesigameko esinjengalesi, ukugcina inqubo yansuku zonke yengane yakho ijwayelekile ngangokunokwenzeka kungayisiza izizwe iphephile. Qiniseka ukuthi ithola ukuzivocavoca okwanele, ilala ngokwanele, futhi idla ngesikhathi. Qiniseka ukuthi yenza wonke umsebenzi wayo wesikole futhi iya emidlalweni nasemakilabhini ngemva kwesikole. Kodwa khumbula, uma ibhekene nobunzima bokubhekana nalezi zinto, ungayiphoqi . Mnike isikhathi sokuphumula.

• Qaphela ukucindezeleka: Kuvamile ukuthi izingane zizizwe zicindezelekile ngemva kwezehlakalo ezinjengalezi. Uma ubona izinguquko ezinkulu ekuziphatheni kwengane yakho (ukungalali kahle, ukungadli, ukwesaba konke, ukungafuni ukuba phakathi kwabanye abantu, ukukhathazeka njalo, ukulahlekelwa isithakazelo ezintweni ezazizenza) ezihlala izinsuku ezimbalwa, ungalibali ukukhuluma nodokotela womndeni wakho noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo yengane ('umhlinzeki wezempilo wokuziphatha' noma 'isazi sengqondo sengane'). Bangasiza ingane yakho ukuthi ilawule ukukhathazeka kwayo futhi bayisize ibhekane nesimo.

Ekugcineni, uthando lwakho, ukusekela, kanye nokukhulumisana okuhle yikona okuzosiza izingane zakho zizizwe ziqinile kulezi zikhathi ezinzima. Ungabasiza bazizwe bephephile futhi bephephile.

Okokugcina, izinto okufanele uzikhumbule

Kalula nje, kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuluma nengane yakho ngalezi zenzakalo ezesabekayo nezibuhlungu bese uzilalela.

• Lalela ngesineke nangothando. Lalela baze baqede lokho abakushoyo.
• Khuluma ngamazwi alula afanele iminyaka yabo.
• Qonda imizwa yabo (ukwesaba, ukudabuka, intukuthelo) futhi ubasekele. Yithi, "Kuyinto evamile ngawe ukuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela."
• Uhlala unabo, hlala ubenza bazizwe bephephile. Bagone.
• Uma ubona ushintsho olungavamile oluqhubekayo ekuziphatheni kwengane yakho, ungalibali ukufuna iseluleko sezokwelapha.
• Kufanele futhi unakekele impilo yakho yengqondo. Ingane yakho inamandla kuphela uma unamandla.

Ngalezi zinto, ungasiza ingane yakho ukuthi yakhe ukuzethemba kwayo ngemva kwezehlakalo ezinjalo ezesabekayo, uyinike amandla, futhi uyisize ihlakulele isimo sengqondo esihle ngezwe.

---

Ingqondo Yengane, Izingane Nobudlova, Ukudubula, Impilo Yengqondo, Iseluleko Sokukhulisa Abantwana, Ukufundisa Izingane, Ukuphepha Kwengane