Uke uzibone ucabanga ukuthi, 'Ngingakwenza lokhu ngempela?' noma ufisa sengathi ubungazethemba kancane? Iqiniso liwukuthi, sonke sibhekana nale mizwa nemicabango ezigabeni ezahlukene zokuphila kwethu. Kujwayelekile ngokuphelele. Namuhla, sizokhuluma ngokuzethemba. Kuyingxenye ebalulekile yenjabulo yakho, ukukhula komuntu siqu, kanye nempumelelo yakho yonke empilweni.
Kuyini ngempela ukuzethemba? Kalula nje…
Ukuzethemba yilokho kukholelwa okuqinile nokungaphakathi onakho kuwe kanye namakhono akho. Akukhona ngokuzikhukhumeza noma ukuzizwa sengathi ungcono kunabo bonke abanye. Kusekelwe kakhulu, kungokoqobo, futhi kuphephile. Kalula nje, ulwazi oluthule nolungaphakathi lokuthi 'Ngingakwenza lokhu.'
Abantu abanokuzethemba benza kanjani? Nakhu ongakuqaphela:
- Abahlushwa imizwa yokungazethembi engadingekile; bazizwa bephephile ngaphakathi kubo.
- Bayazi ukuthi bangabhekana nanoma yini impilo ebaphonsa yona ngokuthembela emakhono abo kanye namandla abo angaphakathi .
- Bazizwa bekulungele ukubhekana nezinselele zansuku zonke njengezivivinyo, imincintiswano, noma ukukhuluma esidlangalaleni.
- Esikhundleni sokucabanga ukuthi “Angikwazi,” bahlala becabanga ukuthi “Ngingakwazi.”
Cabanga ukuthi unikezwe ithuba lokusingatha umcimbi wesikole. Ufuna ngempela ukukwenza, kodwa ucabanga ukuthi, “Kuthiwani uma ngidlala? Kuthiwani uma ngithuthumela phambi kwawo wonke umuntu?” Lokho kuwuphawu lokuthi ukuzethemba kwakho kuyaphela. Kodwa-ke, umuntu ozethembayo ucabanga ukuthi, “Impela, angikaze ngikwenze lokhu ngaphambili, kodwa ngizozama. Ngingakwenza lokhu.” Yilowo umehluko.
Kungani ukuzethemba kubaluleke kangaka kithi?
Ukuzethemba kufana nomngane omuhle okusiza ukuthi uqonde ohambweni lokuphila. Kusisiza ngezindlela eziningi:
- Kusilungiselela ukubhekana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwempilo: Uma uzethemba, awusabi ukuhlangana nezinto ezintsha noma ukuhlangana nabantu abasha. Uyaqhubeka nokuya phambili kunokuba uzibambe.
- Kusikhuthaza ukuthi sihlole amathuba amasha futhi sixhumane nabanye: Cabanga ngesikhathi lapho waba nombono omuhle kodwa wesaba kakhulu ukwabelana ngawo. Uma unesibindi, uzizwa unamandla okwethula imibono yakho. Cabanga ukuthi lokho kungavulekela iminyango emingaki!
- Kusisiza ukuthi sibuyele esimweni saso ngemva kokwehluleka: Sonke siyawenza amaphutha futhi sonke siyahluleka ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa umuntu ozethembayo akahlali phansi. Uyavuka futhi azame futhi.
Uhlangothi oluphambene yilokho okwenzekayo lapho ukuzethemba kuphansi. Abantu abanokuzethemba okuphansi bavame ukungabaza ukuzama izinto ezintsha noma ukuhlangana nabantu abasha. Uma behluleka okokuqala, mancane amathuba okuthi bazame futhi. Ukuntula ukuzethemba kuvame ukusivimbela ekufinyeleleni amandla ethu aphelele. Kufana nokuba yinyoni enamaphiko amakhulu eyesaba ukundiza.
Incazelo yokukholelwa kuwe
Ingabe ukhona owake wakutshela ukuthi unekhono, uyahlekisa, unomusa, unekhono lobuciko, ungumfundi omuhle kakhulu, ungumbhali, noma ungumsubathi onekhono?
Uma abanye beqaphela amandla namakhono ethu, kungakhulisa ukuzethemba kwethu. Kodwa-ke, kunesimo esisodwa: kumelwe sikholwe nalezo zinto ezinhle. Wake wangabaza yini ukunconywa othile, ucabanga ukuthi, “Bamane nje banomusa, angimuhle kangako?” Lokho kuphambene nokuzethemba.
Ukuze uzikholelwe ngempela, kumelwe uzizwe ujulile ukuthi unekhono futhi unethalente. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokwakha lokho kukholwa ukusebenzisa amakhono akho—okusho ukufunda, ukuzijwayeza, nokuthatha isinyathelo.
Ukuzethemba kusisiza ukuthi sithole amandla ethu futhi siwathuthukise. Njengoba siqaphela lokho esikwaziyo ukukwenza futhi siziqhenya ngalokho esikufezile, ukuzethemba kwethu kuyaqina nakakhulu.
Ungakukhulisa kanjani ukuzethemba kwakho?
Lena yingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi sonke singakha ukuzethemba kwethu, isinyathelo ngesinyathelo. Nazi ezinye izeluleko ongazama:
1. Yakha isimo sengqondo sokuzethemba
Lesi yisinyathelo sokuqala nesibaluleke kakhulu. Lapho imicabango emibi efana nokuthi 'Angikwazi,' 'Lokhu kunzima kakhulu,' noma 'Ngizohluleka' ingena, ungabaniki isikhala. Kunalokho, funda ukuqaphela lelo zwi langaphakathi bese ulishintsha. Faka esikhundleni sokuthi 'Angikwazi' igama eliqinile elithi 'Ngingakwazi!' Zitshele ukuthi, 'Impela, lokhu kusha, kodwa uma ngizama ukugxila, ngingakufunda noma ngikuqede.' Kungase kuzwakale kunzima ekuqaleni, kodwa kuzoba umkhuba ngokuzijwayeza.
2. Ziqhathanise ngomusa
Sonke siziqhathanisa nabanye, akunjalo? Kungokwemvelo ngokuphelele. Kungasisiza siziqonde futhi kusishukumisele ukuba sithuthukise izimfanelo esizithandayo kwabanye. Kodwa-ke, uma ukuqhathaniswa njalo kukushiya uzizwa udangele, udangele, noma uphansi, lokho kuyinkinga. Lokho kuyisibonakaliso esicacile sokuthi udinga ukusebenza ekuzithembeni kwakho. Yazisa okuhle kwabanye ngenkathi uhlala ujabule ngohambo lwakho.
3. Hlukana nokungazethembi
Uma singabaza amakhono ethu, sizizwa singelutho, singafaneleki, noma singakulungele. Lokhu kuvame ukusenza sigweme abantu namathuba angasisiza sikhule. Njalo uma ucabanga ukuthi, “Angikwazi,” phikisa lowo mcabango. Zikhumbuze ngento oyifezile ngempumelelo esikhathini esidlule.
4. Thatha ingozi ephephile
Lokhu akusho ukuthatha izingozi eziyingozi. Kusho ukuphuma kancane endaweni yakho yokunethezeka bese uzama into ovame ukuyisaba kodwa owaziyo ukuthi izoba wusizo.
- Joyina iklabhu yesikole.
- Zivolontiyele iphrojekthi noma umcimbi womphakathi.
- Zama iqembu noma umbukiso wamakhono.
- Phakamisa isandla sakho ekilasini ukuze ubuze noma uphendule imibuzo.
- Mamatheka bese uqala ingxoxo nomuntu ovame ukuzizwa unamahloni ngaye.
5. Ziphonsele inselelo
Khetha into ongathanda ukuyenza ukube ubunokuzethemba okwengeziwe. Zicindezele kancane bese uyayenza. Uma usuyifezile, khetha enye into—futhi uqhubeke nomfutho. Isinyathelo ngasinye osithathayo siyandisa ukuzethemba kwakho, njengoba nje nokuzivocavoca kwakha imisipha.
6. Yazi amakhono akho futhi uwasize akhanye
Sivame ukufundiswa ukugxila ekulungiseni ubuthakathaka bethu. Nakuba lokho kungabaluleka, njengokuthuthukisa amamaki esikoleni, ungavumeli ukusebenza ebuthakathakeni bakho kukuvimbele ekuphumeleleni kulokho osuvele ukwazi ukukwenza. Ukwenza izinto okwazi ukuzenza kahle kuletha injabulo, okubuye kukhulise ukuzethemba kwakho.
7. Qhubeka nomsebenzi wakho
Uma ungumfundi, qhubeka nemisebenzi yakho, izifundo, namaphrojekthi. Lungiselela ikilasi, imibuzo, kanye nezivivinyo. Kungani? Ngoba ukulungiselela kukunika ukuzethemba okukhulu. Ukungaguquguquki kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuzivikela ekukhathazekeni ngezivivinyo kanye nokucindezeleka esikoleni. Ukulungiselela kuyisihluthulelo sokuzethemba.
8. Yiba nesibindi sokuba nguwe wangempela
Vumela abanye bakubone njengoba unjalo ngempela—kufaka phakathi amaphutha akho kanye nobuthakathaka bakho. Uma siyeka ukuzama ukufihla ubuwena bethu bangempela, kuba lula kakhulu ukudlulela ngale kokungazethembi kwethu. Yamukela imikhuba yakho ehlukile futhi ugubhe ubuntu bakho. Yeka ukuzama ukuba ngomunye umuntu noma ukwenza ngendlela ezwakala sengathi iwumbumbulu. Kudinga isibindi nokuzethemba ukuze ube ngumuntu wangempela, kodwa lapho ukwenza kakhulu, kulapho ukuzethemba kwakho kuzokhula khona. Khumbula, lokhu kuzethemba yikho okwakha ukuzethemba kwakho.
Qhubeka! Ungayeki!
Ukuzethemba akuhlali kusezingeni elifanayo. Ngezinye izinsuku uzozizwa ungavinjelwe nhlobo, kanti ngezinye izinsuku ungase uzizwe uphansi kancane. Lokhu kuvamile kuwo wonke umuntu—ngisho nabantu ababonakala benakho konke ndawonye.
Cabanga ngakho njengokudlala umdlalo wekhilikithi. Ngolunye usuku ungase uthole ikhulu leminyaka; ngosuku olulandelayo ungase uphume uyofuna idada. Ukuzethemba kusebenza kanjalo.
Uma kukhona okuzamazamisa ukuzethemba kwakho, yiba nomusa kuwe. Ungazishayi.Gwema amagama angemahle njengokuthi “Angilutho.” Kunalokho, funda kulokho okwenzekile, zibuze ukuthi yini ongayenza ngendlela ehlukile ngesikhathi esizayo, futhi ukukhumbule lokho. Khuluma nomuntu omethembayo okusekelayo. Bese uzikhumbuza amandla akho kanye nempumelelo yakho yangaphambilini. Buyela emdlalweni! Sukuma lapho uwe khona!
Umyalezo okufanele uthathwe uye nawo ekhaya
Ukuzethemba akuyona into oyakha ngobusuku obubodwa. Kufana nokutshala ingadi. Kufanele uyinisele, uyinakekele, futhi uyivumele ithole ukukhanya kwelanga. Yileyo ndlela ekhula ngayo, iqhakaze futhi ithele izithelo.
- Qala ukuzethemba. Qaphela amandla akho.
- Thatha izinselele ezincane. Gubha impumelelo oyifezile.
- Uma kufika imicabango emibi , ungayiniki isikhala—zijwayeze ukucabanga okuhle.
- Ungazithobi phansi ngokuqhathanisa indlela yakho nabanye.
- Uma wehluleka, funda isifundo bese uzama futhi.
- Ungesabi ukuba ngumuntu wakho wangempela.
Ungakwenza! Unamandla kakhulu kunalokho ocabanga. Uma ungakholelwa kuwe, cishe akukho lutho kuleli zwe ongeke ukwazi ukulifinyelela!
Ukuzethemba, Impilo Yengqondo, Ukuzisiza, Ukukhula Komuntu Siqu, Ukucabanga Okuhle, Ukuzethemba
