Ake sixoxe ngokuhamba nokucindezeleka kwamaholide.

Ukulungele ukuya edolobhaneni ngoNyaka Omusha noma ngoKhisimusi? Ingabe ulangazelela ukuchitha amaholide ngenjabulo, ukuhlangana nomndeni nabangane abadala, udla amakhukhi amnandi avela ezandleni zikamama wakho? Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, lapho la maholide esondela, ungase ungajabuli, kodwa uzizwe ucindezelekile futhi udabuke kakhulu. Eqinisweni, uma ungumuntu ozizwa udabukile futhi ucindezelekile ngesikhathi samaholide, ngisho nokuya ohambweni kungase kungabi yiphupho, kodwa kube yinto eyesabekayo ehlupha inhliziyo yakho. Ngakho-ke, namuhla sizoxoxa ngendlela yokuhamba nokucindezeleka okuhambisana nala maholide.

Yini ongayilindela uma uhamba nokucindezeleka?

Ngokusho kukaPhilip Maskin, uprofesa wezifo zengqondo eColumbia University, ukuhamba kuthinta umuntu ngamunye ngendlela ehlukile.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuthuthela endaweni entsha kungaba kuhle kakhulu engqondweni yakho. Zicabange usendaweni entsha sha, useholidini, futhi akudingeki uvuke ngo-6 ekuseni ukuze uye ehhovisi. Ngale ndawo entsha, izinto eziningi ezikucindezelayo zizoncipha. Ngakho-ke, ungazizwa ukhululekile kakhulu ekukhathazekeni kwamaholide.

Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhamba kulezi zinsuku kuyacindezela kakhulu kunangaphambili. Sicabanga ukuthi "uhambo luzohamba kahle." Kodwa akusikho lokho okwenzekayo. Ngezinye izikhathi kufanele sihlale emotweni emigwaqweni yedolobha amahora amaningi, noma silinde emigqeni emide esikhumulweni sezindiza. Zimbalwa izindiza kunangaphambili, futhi ngisho nalezo ezihlala zigcwele, futhi isikhumulo sezindiza sigcwele kakhulu.

Kalula nje, uma ucindezelekile, ukubekezelela kwakho ukukhungatheka kuphansi kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, ngisho nento encane njengokulibaziseka kwendiza yakho kwenza kube nzima ngawe ukucabanga, "O, lokho kuyinto encane."

Ukucindezeleka Kwamaholide: Lawula

"Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyaphi, kubalulekile ukulungiselela kahle," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uHelen Grusd. "Lolu lungiselelo luyindlela engcono kakhulu yokugomela ukucindezeleka."

Lokhu kulungiselela akukhona mayelana nokulungiselela ukugqoka izingubo. "Kufanele ulungele ngokwengqondo. Uzinika kanjani amandla okulawula lesi simo?"

Isinyathelo sokuqala ukunquma ukuthi iyini ngempela injongo yohambo lwakho. "Ingabe uzophinde uxhumane nomndeni wakho? Noma uzophumula nje futhi ujabule?" Okulandelayo, udinga ukuqhubeka uzitshela ukuthi: "Ngizokwenza lolu hambo lube yimpumelelo."

UGrusz uthi gcina lesi sisho engqondweni njenge-mantra. "Izinto zingenzeka ezingaphandle kwamandla akho. Kodwa kufanele ulungele ukucabanga, 'Ngilawula konke engingakwazi ukukulawula.'" Uma ucindezelekile, lapho kukhona okungahambi kahle, uzizwa sengathi awukwazi ukulawula lutho. Kodwa ungabona isimo njengenselele. Khona-ke ungajabulela inselele, esikhundleni sokuzizwa njengesisulu.

Ukubaluleka kokubeka imigomo ngaphambi kokuhamba

USolwazi Maskin weluleka ngokubeka imigomo ethile yeholide lakho. "Okokuqala, cabanga ngezinto ozokujabulela ngalolu hambo. Bese uzibekela imigomo wena nomndeni wakho. Zibuze wena nomlingani wakho, 'Sifunani kulolu hambo?' "

Kodwa-ke, imigomo ozibekela yona kufanele ifinyeleleke. Isibonelo, uma uyodoba, ingabe umgomo wakho ukubamba inhlanzi enkulu kunazo zonke olwandle, noma ukuphumula nokujabulela uhambo nomlingani wakho noma izingane zakho? Uma unokuthile ongakuzuza eholidini lakho, ikakhulukazi uma kuyinto ongayabelana ngayo nomndeni wakho wonke, ungagxila kulowo mgomo. Khona-ke ngeke ubambeke kwezinye izinto ezingabalulekile ngempela.

Izinzuzo zokuhlela kusenesikhathi

Kulabo abahlushwa ukucindezeleka kwamaholide, ukuhlela kusengaphambili kungasiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka. Uma uya ohambweni, hlela ukukwenza kube lula ngangokunokwenzeka, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Elaine Rodino.

• Khetha ukuhamba ngezinsuku lapho kunezixuku ezimbalwa khona.
• Bhukha izindiza ngezikhathi ezinabantu abambalwa esikhumulweni sezindiza.
• Qaphela isimo sezulu kusenesikhathi. Buza izinkampani zezindiza ukuthi yimiphi imigomo yazo yokubuyiselwa kwemali uma izindiza zikhanselwa.

“Ngaleyo ndlela ungagwema ukubhajwa esikhumulweni sezindiza amahora angu-18, ngoba lokho kungashukumisa umuntu osevele ecindezelekile kakhulu,” kusho uRodino.

Futhi, hlela ukulala kahle ebusuku ngaphambi kohambo lwakho, udle ukudla okunempilo okuhle , bese uletha ukudla okulula kohambo.

Kuthiwani uma kungaphezu nje kokuthi 'ama-Holiday Blues'?

Uma ubeka imigomo nokuhlela, kubalulekile ukucabanga ngenjabulo yohambo kusenesikhathi. "Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi abantu bacindezeleke kakhulu kangangokuthi abakwazi ngisho nokucabanga nganoma yini ejabulisayo. Uma lokho kwenzeka, kufanelekile ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho ngakho," kusho uMaskin. "Noma kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuluma nomngane oseduze, umeluleki wezenkolo, noma umeluleki wezempilo yengqondo , ongudokotela wakho."

Ukucindezeleka ngokwezokwelapha kuyisifo, futhi kunezindlela zokwelapha. "Kodwa abanye abantu abafuni ukucela usizo, bacabanga ukuthi kuwuphawu lobuthakathaka. Kuyesabisa," kugcizelela uMuskin. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ukucela usizo kuyisibonakaliso sobuthakathaka, cabanga ngalokhu: Ngisho nabadlali abaphambili emhlabeni banabaqeqeshi. Abanamahloni okucela usizo. Umeluleki wezempilo yengqondo , njengodokotela wakho , ungumsizi omkhulu.

Ukuba nokucindezeleka akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukuqhubeka. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqhubeka nokwenza izinto ezikusiza uzizwe ungcono. Gcina ikhadi elincane nawe elibonisa amandla akho kanye namasu okubhekana nesimo owasebenzisayo ukukusiza uhlale uqinile engqondweni . Lokhu kungaba ukuhambahamba, ukulalela umculo, ukuphuza ingilazi yamanzi, noma ukukhuluma nomngane. Bheka ikhadi njalo futhi uzikhumbuze ukuthi ungakwazi ukulawula lesi simo. Futhi, uma unemithi ovame ukuyithatha, qiniseka ukuthi uyayithatha ngesikhathi .

Wenzani ngemva kokufika lapho uya khona?

Kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani ungase uzizwe udangele ngisho noma usufikile lapho uya khona. Nazi ezinye izeluleko ongazisebenzisa.

Sebenzisa indlela ethi 'HALT'.

Zinike imvume yokuthi "cha" ezintweni ongazifuni. Sonke sithi "yebo" kukho konke ngoba sifuna ukujabulisa wonke umuntu. Kodwa lokho kuholela ekubhujisweni kuphela. Sebenzisa igama elithi 'HALT' ukuze uhlole njalo isimo sakho sengqondo.

Uma usuqaphela ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, ungathi, "Ngikhathele kancane, ngizolala phansi isikhashana" noma "Ngeke ngikwenze lokhu." Ngemuva kwalokho ungakhetha izinto ozithandayo futhi ugweme izinto ongazithandi.

Amanye amathiphu ambalwa

• Zijwayeze Ukuvuselela Ukuziphatha: Izinto ezifana nokuvuka nokuhambahamba, ukulalela umculo, nokuhleka nawo wonke umuntu zingathuthukisa isimo sakho sengqondo.
• Phila esikhathini samanje: Lapho imindeni ihlangana ngamaholide, kungavela amagqubu amadala kanye nemizwa ebuhlungu. Cabanga, "Lona umuntu olapha naye, hhayi umuntu owawunguye eminyakeni engama-20 edlule." Gxila kumuntu onguye manje.
• Lawula ukudla kwakho notshwala: Amaholide agcwele ukudla okumnandi neziphuzo. Ikhekhe likamama, amakhukhi amnandi... Zitshele ukuthi, "Ngizowadla kancane lawa, kodwa hhayi ngaso sonke isikhathi." Futhi, qaphela kakhulu ngokudla kwakho utshwala. Utshwala bungaphazamisa ubuthongo bakho futhi buphazamise imizwa yakho. Uma ululama ekugqilazweni utshwala, kungcono ukugwema amaphathi.
• Ukuzivocavoca: Amaholide ayisikhathi sokuba nomusa kuwe. Lokho akusho ukudla kahle kuphela, kodwa nokuvuka ekuseni wenze izinto ezifana nokugijima noma ukuhamba. Uma uzinakekela ngokomzimba, izidingo zakho zengqondo nazo zizohlangatshezwa. Ukuhamba nsuku zonke kungaba njengomuthi wokucindezeleka kwabanye abantu.