Manaʻo mākou a pau he wā nani a hauʻoli ka hāpai ʻana . Loaʻa paha iā ʻoe kahi kiʻi i loko o kou manaʻo o kahi makuahine e ʻālohilohi a hauʻoli ana i ka ulu ʻana o kona ʻōpū, me ka hopohopo ʻole, ka makaʻu, a me ke kānalua ʻole. Malia paha ua ʻike maoli ʻoe i kekahi e like me ia. Akā, hiki ke ʻokoʻa loa ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, he holo kaʻa ka hāpai ʻana. ʻAʻohe mea pehea ka lōʻihi o kou kali ʻana me kāu kāne no kēia pēpē, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i nā ʻano manaʻo like ʻole i kēia manawa. I kekahi manawa e hauʻoli nui paha ʻoe, a i kekahi manawa e kaumaha paha ʻoe, makaʻu, a huhū paha. He tausani mau nīnau e hiki mai ana i ka noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ke olakino o ka pēpē, nā loli i kou kino, nā mea e hana ʻia i kāu mau pilina, a inā paha e lilo wau i makuahine maikaʻi.
No ke aha lā kēia e hana nei iaʻu? Noʻu anei kēia hewa?
Ke noʻonoʻo nei paha ʻoe, "Ua lōʻihi koʻu kali ʻana i ka hiki ʻana mai o kēia pēpē, no ke aha lā wau e manaʻo nei penei?" He mea maʻamau loa ia. Wahi a nā loea, no ka mea, e kū ana ʻoe i ka loli nui loa o kou ola.
"ʻO ka lilo ʻana i makuahine he hoʻololi nui ia no ke ola holoʻokoʻa hiki ʻole ke hoʻohuli ʻia. No laila, ke hele nei ʻoe i kahi loli nui i kou ola, he mea kupanaha ia ʻaʻole ʻoe e manaʻo iki i ka makaʻu, ka hopohopo, a me ke kānalua e pili ana i ia mea," wahi a kekahi loea olakino noʻonoʻo .
Akā, ʻo ka mea kaumaha, ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio me kekahi e pili ana i kēia mau manaʻo. Manaʻo ka poʻe he nui he hewa ka manaʻo ʻana i kēia mau mea, ʻo wau wale nō ka mea e manaʻo nei i kēia ʻano, aia kekahi mea hewa iaʻu.
"Ke nānā ʻoe i nā makasina e kūʻai aku ana i nā mea pēpē, he nui nā makuahine hāpai nani a hauʻoli. Ke hoʻonani nei lākou i ka lumi o kā lākou pēpē me ka nani. Ke nānā nei mākou i kēlā a noʻonoʻo, 'No ke aha e hiki ʻole ai iaʻu ke lilo i hoʻokahi wale nō e hauʻoli nei e like me kēia?'"
ʻOi loa aku no nā wāhine i kali lōʻihi e loaʻa kahi keiki , a i ʻole i loaʻa nā hāʻule keiki ma mua, hiki i kēia mau manaʻo ke hele mai me ka nui o ka hewa. Manaʻo lākou, "ʻAʻohe oʻu kuleana e noʻonoʻo i kēia." No laila, ʻaʻole lākou e haʻi aku i kekahi e pili ana i ia mea.
Akā, e hanu hohonu a mālie. ʻAʻole kēia mau manaʻo e hōʻike ana ʻaʻole ʻoe e aloha i kāu pēpē a ʻaʻole ʻoe e lilo i makuahine maikaʻi. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻōlelo kekahi poʻe loea ʻo nā kāne male i makaʻu ʻole a kānalua hoʻi ka poʻe a lākou e hopohopo nui nei. Hōʻike ia ʻaʻole lākou i maopopo maoli i ka loli nui e hiki mai ana.
ʻO nā hormones wale nō ke kuleana no kēia?
He mea paʻakikī i kekahi mau kāne ke hoʻomaopopo i kā lākou mau wāhine i kēia manawa. Ua ʻōlelo kekahi kāne: "He mea kupaianaha ka wikiwiki o ka loli ʻana o kona mau manaʻo. Kāhea aku au iā ia ma mua o koʻu hoʻi ʻana mai ka hana a nīnau aku, 'Pehea kou lā? Ua luhi ʻoe? Ua uē anei ke pēpē?' a he aloha nui ʻo ia. Akā he ʻumi mau minuke ma hope mai, i koʻu hoʻi ʻana i ka home, ua ʻokoʻa loa kona ʻano. I kekahi manawa ke nānā wale aku nei au i koʻu poʻo ma ka puka e ʻike i ke ʻano o nā mea."
No laila, he hewa anei nā hormones no kēia mau mea a pau? ʻAʻole maoli. Wahi a nā kauka ua hoʻopilikia ʻia kekahi mau wahine e nā loli o nā pae hormone, a ʻo kekahi ʻaʻole. A he nui nā kumu ʻē aʻe e hiki ai ke hoʻoulu i nā loli o ka naʻau, ʻaʻole wale nā hormones.
ʻOiai nā ʻeha kino e like me ka maʻi kakahiaka, ka ʻeha o ka umauma, a me ka paʻa ʻana o ka ʻōpū hiki ke hoʻomāʻehaʻeha iā ʻoe a hopohopo. Ke ʻoluʻolu ʻole kou kino, ʻaʻole e hauʻoli kou noʻonoʻo.
"Ke haʻi aku nei au i kaʻu mau maʻi ma mua, 'Eia hoʻi, ʻaʻole ʻoe e manaʻo like i ka wā hāpai e like me ma mua. No laila, pono ʻoe a me kāu kāne e hoʻomaopopo he ʻokoʻa paha ke ʻano o kāu pane ʻana i nā mea like i kēia manawa.'" - Polofesa Frank Lin (kahu wahine a me ke kauka wahine).
No laila, inā paʻakikī iā ʻoe ke hakakā hoʻokahi i kēia mau manaʻo , ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa e hana ai, ʻo ia ke kaʻana like iā lākou me kekahi.
Pehea ʻoe e hana ai me kēia mau manaʻo?
Mai hāpai wale i nā kaumaha e hiki mai ana i kou manaʻo i kēia manawa. Eia kekahi mau ala e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe.
| ʻAno kōkua | He aha ka mea e hana ʻia ai? |
|---|---|
| Ke kamaʻilio nei me kāu hoa, hoaaloha, a ʻohana paha | E kaʻana like i kou mau makaʻu, kānalua, a me nā hopohopo. He mea hōʻoluʻolu nui ka kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi mea hiki ke hoʻolohe wale me ka ʻole e hāʻawi i nā hoʻonā. |
| Ke kamaʻilio ʻana me nā makuahine hāpai ʻē aʻe | Ke kamaʻilio ʻoe me nā poʻe i loaʻa nā ʻike like, e ʻike ʻoe, "ʻAʻole kēia noʻu wale nō." Ma kahi o ka nīnau ʻana, "Pehea ʻoe?", e nīnau i nā nīnau hohonu e like me, "He aha kou manaʻo i ka wā i kīkē ai ke pēpē?" |
| Ke kākau ʻana i kahi puke moʻolelo | Hiki i ke kākau ʻana i kou mau manaʻo ke lilo i mea hoʻokuʻu loa a hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i kāu mau ʻano naʻau. |
| Ka heluhelu ʻana i nā puke e pili ana i ka hāpai ʻana | Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa ka ʻike nui ma ka heluhelu ʻana i nā puke e pili ana i nā loli kino wale nō, akā, e pili ana hoʻi i nā loli noʻonoʻo. |
| Ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kāu kauka | Inā manaʻo ʻoe ua kaumaha ʻoe i ke kaumaha, e kamaʻilio me kāu kauka e pili ana i ia mea. E ʻimi i ke aʻo ʻana inā pono. |
ʻO ke aloha, ka huhū a me nā mea āpau ma waena
I kekahi manawa, ʻoiai paha ʻoe e manaʻo nui ana i ke aloha no kāu pēpē, hiki nō hoʻi iā ʻoe ke kaumaha a huhū no ka nalowale ʻana o kou kūʻokoʻa. He mea maʻamau ka manaʻo ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻolilo hou i kou manawa hoʻokahi, e like me kou makemake.
ʻIke nui ʻia kēia manaʻo e nā wāhine e hana ana a he mau ʻoihana holomua ko lākou, no ka mea, ʻoi aku ko lākou ʻike i nā mōhai a lākou e hana ai no kahi keiki . Me kēia mau manaʻo e hele mai ana kahi manaʻo o ka hewa, e noʻonoʻo ana, "No ke aha e hiki ʻole ai iaʻu ke hauʻoli piha?"
ʻO kahi hana maikaʻi no kēia, ʻo ia ka hana ʻana i nā papa inoa:
- "ʻO nā mea aʻu i aloha nui ai i koʻu ola"
- "ʻO nā mea aʻu e makaʻu nui nei e nalowale"
- "Nā mea hou aʻu e loaʻa nei"
- "Nā mea aʻu e makemake ʻole ai e nalowale"
Ma ka nānā ʻana i kēia mau papa inoa, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa nā ala e hoʻomau ai i ka hana ʻana i nā mea āu e aloha ai, a e hauʻoli me nā mea hou āu i loaʻa ai. ʻO ka mea nui loa, ʻo ia ke kala aku iā ʻoe iho. E noʻonoʻo, "ʻAe, ke manaʻo nei au i kahi mea hoʻohaʻahaʻa iki, akā ʻaʻole wau e hoʻopaʻi iaʻu iho no ia mea. He aha kaʻu e pono ai e aʻo mai kēia?"
Ua ʻokoʻa anei nā mea a pau i ka lua o ka manawa?
ʻOiai no kekahi mea i hauʻoli loa i ka hāpai mua ʻana, hiki i ka lua o ka manawa ke lilo i ʻike ʻokoʻa loa.
Ua hauʻoli loa kekahi makuahine i kona wā e hāpai ana i kāna keiki mua. Akā i kona wā e hāpai ana i kāna keiki ʻelua, ua hopohopo nui ʻo ia. Ua luaʻi hou aku ʻo ia, ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻoikaika kino e like me ma mua, a ua makaʻu ʻo ia ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke pili me kāna keiki ʻelua e like me kāna hana me kāna keiki mua.
"I ka wā i hānau ʻia ai ke keiki mua, ua nui ka hakahaka i loko o ko mākou ola no kēlā keiki. Akā i ka lua o ka manawa, ua hoʻopiha ʻia kēlā hakahaka e kā mākou keiki mua. ʻOiai ua makemake mākou i kahi keiki ʻē aʻe, ua lilo ko mākou manaʻo, ka ikaika, a me ke aloha a pau i ke keiki mua. No laila, ua paʻakikī ke hana i wahi no ka lua."
Ua ʻike kēia makuahine aia ma lalo o kona hopohopo kekahi kaumaha ʻē aʻe. ʻO ke kaumaha no ka mea paha ʻo kēia kona hāpai hope loa a me ke kaumaha no ka loli ʻana o kona pilina me kāna keiki mua.
I kēia manawa, he makuahine ʻelua āna keiki, wahi āna, "I kekahi manawa, ke manaʻo nei au ʻaʻole au e hāʻawi i ka lua o ka nānā i ka nui. Akā, aloha nui wau iā ia. Ua ʻike wau i kēia manawa he pono iā ia ke kaʻana like iaʻu, akā, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e emi mai ana mai iaʻu. He mea paʻakikī iki ka lilo ʻana i makuahine nona 100% i kēia manawa."
Leka Lawe-Home
- He mea maʻamau loa ke ʻike i nā ʻano manaʻo like ʻole i ka wā hāpai, me ka hauʻoli, ke kaumaha, ka makaʻu, ka huhū, a me ka hopohopo.
- ʻO ka manaʻo ʻana i kēia mau manaʻo, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo he makuahine maikaʻi ʻole ʻoe. ʻO ia hoʻi, ua ʻike piha ʻoe i ka loli nui i kou ola e hiki mai ana.
- ʻAʻole wale kēia ma muli o nā hormones. ʻO ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole o ke kino a me nā pilikia o ke ola maoli kekahi e kōkua i kēia.
- Mai hakakā wale i kēia mau manaʻo. E kamaʻilio me kāu hoa, he hoaaloha hilinaʻi, he lālā o ka ʻohana, a i ʻole kāu kauka. Hiki i ka kaʻana like ʻana ke lilo i mea hōʻoluʻolu nui.
- E aloha iā ʻoe iho. E ʻae i kou mau manaʻo a e lokomaikaʻi iā ʻoe iho. He huakaʻi lōʻihi kēia, ʻaʻole pono e hemolele kēlā me kēia ʻanuʻu o ka huakaʻi.
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