Wi ɔl dɔn gɛt di sɔri ɛn pen we kin kam we wi lɔs pɔsin ɔ sɔntin we wi rili lɛk. I tan lɛk big big ples we nɔ gɛt natin insay. Sɔmtɛm e kin kam wit bɔrku filin lɛk fɔ vɛks ɛn fɔ de yu wan. Dis na wetin wi jos de kol ‘Grief’. I rili nɔmal. Bɔt if yu no aw fɔ dil wit dɛn filin ya, aw fɔ kia fɔ yusɛf, ɛn aw fɔ aks fɔ ɛp if nid de, dat go gi yu bɔku trɛnk fɔ pas dis tranga tɛm.
Wetin rili na sɔri-at?
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, sɔri-at na tin we wi kin du we wi lɔs sɔntin we valyu to wi. Dis lɔs kin tek bɔku we dɛn.
- Di day we pɔsin we yu rili lɛk day.
- We pɔsin we dɛn lɛk ɔ mared skata.
- Fɔ lɔs wok we yu dɔn de ol.
- Wan wɛl bɔdi prɔblɛm, lɛk fɔ gɛt sik we nɔ de dɔn.
- Fɔ gɛt fɔ muf frɔm di os ɔ vilej usay yu de go na ɔda ples.
Sɔri-at kin kam wit ɛni big chenj na layf lɛk dis. Di impɔtant tin na dat ɔlman kin gɛt pwɛl hat difrɛn we. Sɔntɛm ɔda pɔsin nɔ go fil di sem we aw yu de fil. Natin nɔ bad wit dat.
Yu tink se difrɛn kayn sɔri-at de?
Yɛs, wi kin sheb pwɛl hat to difrɛn kayn tin dɛn, i kin dipen pan aw wi kin gɛt am. We yu no dɛn tin ya, dat go ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand aw yu de fil.
| Tayp fɔ sɔri | Wan simpul ɛksplen |
|---|---|
| Sɔri-at we Nɔ Kɔmplikt | Dis na di kayn we we pipul dɛn kin gɛt mɔ. Dɛn kin fil de pwɛl hat ɛn pen pasmak fɔ di fɔs 6 mɔnt afta yu dɔn lɔs. Bɔt as tɛm de go, dɛn filin dɛn de kin stɔp smɔl smɔl. |
| Grif we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de op fɔ | Sɔri-at na fɔ fil bad bifo pɔsin lɔs. Fɔ ɛgzampul, we dɛn no se pɔsin na di famili gɛt wan sik we go mek i nɔ ebul fɔ mɛn, di sɔri-at we kin kam wit di filin se dɛn nɔ go de igen. |
| Inhibited Grif we Dɛn Nɔ De Du | If yu ol pwɛl hat ɛn tray nɔr fɔ tink bɔt am, dat kin mek yu gɛt sɔm kayn sik lɛk yu chɛst tayt, yu nɔr kin ebul fɔ slip, ɛn yu nɔr kin ebul fɔ blo. |
| Sɔri-at we De Delay | De fil fɔ pwɛl hat kin bigin fɔ sɔm wik, mɔnt, ɔr ivin sɔm ia afta wae pɔrsin dɔn lɔs, ɛn yu nɔr kin no bɔt am da tɛm de. Dis pwɛl hat kin kam afta yu dɔn day, we yu bizi wit dɛn tin dɛn de, ɛn afta dat we yu fri. |
| Grif we kin mek pɔsin fil bad | Di pwɛl hat we kin kam wit pɔsin we i lɔs kin so bad dat i nɔ kin izi fɔ du tin dɛn we pɔsin kin du ɛvride. Di pen kin so bad dat no gud mɛmori bɔt di pɔsin we yu lɔs kin kam na yu maynd. |
| Kɔlektif Grif | Sɔri-at we pɔsin kin gɛt we i kam pan wan tin we kin afɛkt bɔku bɔku pipul dɛn wan tɛm. Fɔ ɛgzampul, di kray we wan ol sosayti kin gɛt bikɔs ɔf sɔntin lɛk tsunami, Ista atak, ɔ pandemik. |
| Disɔda we kin mek pɔsin fil bad ɔ we kin tek lɔng tɛm | If de pwɛl hat de bɔku instead fɔ de go dɔŋ as tɛm de go, ɛn if de lɔs nɔr fayn atɔl, dis kin bi. If yu gɛt dɛn sik ya, yu fɔ rili go to dɔktɔ. |
If yu tink se yu gɛt kɔmplikɛt sɔri-at, nɔ delay fɔ aks fɔ ɛp. E rili impɔtant fɔ yu maynd wɛl bɔdi.
Di Fayv Stej dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt fɔ sɔri
Insay di ia 1960, Ɛlizabɛt Kublɛr-Rɔs ( ELISA) .Beth Kübler-Ross, we na wan dɔktɔ we de mɛn pipul dɛn we gɛt sik dɛn we de ambɔg dɛn maynd, bin tɔk bɔt fayv men tin dɛn we pipul dɛn kin du we dɛn de fil bad. Bɔt mɛmba se dɛn stej ya nɔ kin kam di sem ɔda fɔ ɔlman. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin gɛt dɛn wan bay wan. Sɔm stej dɛn kin ivin skip. We yu no dɛn tin ya, dat go ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand se wetin yu de fil na nɔmal tin.
1. Denial: Di fɔs filin we kin kam na yu maynd we yu lan se yu dɔn lɔs na, "Nɔ, dis nɔ kin apin." Di maynd kin swɛ, i nɔ kin ebul fɔ fil ɛnitin. Dis na difens we dɛn kin yuz fɔ rɔnawe pan di pen we dɛn nɔ kin ebul fɔ bia fɔ sɔm tɛm.
2. Vɛks: As yu bigin fɔ ɔndastand di tru tin bɔt di tin smɔl smɔl, vɛks kin bigin fɔ kam wit di pen. Yu de wɔnda, "Wetin mek na dis wɔl dis apin to mi?" Dis vɛks nɔ kin jɔs de pan ɔda pipul dɛn, pan dɔktɔ dɛn, to Gɔd, bɔt i kin apin bak to di pɔsin we yu lɛk we lɛf yu. I rili nɔmal.
3. Bargaining: Fo dis stej, tinkin laik "If onli a bin du dat, dis no go hapun" de kom fo maind. "If onli..." tinkin de ful di maind. Sɔm kin ivin tray fɔ bargayn wit Gɔd, lɛk "If a bin ebul fɔ sev am, a fɔ dɔn du dis."
4. Pwɛl hat: We yu rili ɔndastand di lɔs ɛn di impak we i gɛt pan yu layf, yu kin bigin fɔ fil bad ɛn fil bad. Tin dɛm lɛk fɔ kray pasmak, fɔ gɛt prɔblɛm wit slip, ɛn fɔ lɛ yu nɔ want fɔ it kin apin insay dis tɛm. I kɔmɔn bak fɔ fil se na yu wangren de ɛn nɔ ebul fɔ du natin.
5. Akseptɛns: Dis na di las stej fɔ sɔri. Na ya, yu gri se wetin apin na rial tin. Yu no se yu nɔ go ebul fɔ chenj am. Pan ɔl we di pwɛl at nɔ kin dɔn, yu kin bigin fɔ disayd fɔ go bifo wit yu layf.
Aw pwɛl at kin afɛkt yu bɔdi ɛn maynd?
Sɔri-at nɔto jɔs tin we pɔsin kin gɛt na in maynd, i kin apin bak to pɔsin in bɔdi. Di strɛs we i kin gɛt kin mek yu gɛt difrɛn difrɛn sayn dɛn na yu bɔdi ɛn aw yu de fil.
| Tayp we gɛt kwaliti dɛn | Tin dɛn we pɔsin kin fil |
|---|---|
| Di Simptom dɛn na di bɔdi | |
| Di tin dɛn we kɔmɔn |
|
| Di Simptom dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de fil | |
| Di we aw pɔsin kin fil |
|
Wetin na di tin dɛn we kin mek pɔsin fil bad?
Dis na tin dɛn we kin mek yu mɛmba di pɔsin ɔ di tin we yu lɔs wantɛm wantɛm. Wan siŋ we yu yɛri we yu de waka, wan patikyula smel, we yu si wan patikyula ples, ɔ wan spɛshal de lɛk batde ɔ anivesari kin mek yu at pwɛl wantɛm wantɛm. Dɛn kɔl dɛn tin ya `Grief Triggers`. Na nɔmal tin fɔ mek dɛn tin ya apin bɔku tɛm we dɛn bigin.
Aw yu go liv fayn wit dis sɔri-at?
Griv nɔto sik wae nid fɔ mɛn, na prɔses wae nid fɔ kɔntrol. Bɔku tin dɛn de we kin ɛp fɔ du dis.
- Gi yusɛf tɛm: Dis na tin we yu kin du. Yu nɔ go ebul fɔ wɛl wan nɛt. Aksept di we aw yu de fil. If yu nid fɔ kray, kray. Natin nɔ bad wit dat.
- Tɔk to ɔda pipul dɛn: Nɔ isolate yusɛf. We yu tɔk to yu padi ɔ yu fambul we yu kin abop pan bɔt aw yu de fil, dat kin mek yu fil fayn.
- Tek kia ɔf yusɛf: Ɛksesaiz as yu ebul, it tin dɛn we gɛt fayn fayn tin dɛn fɔ it, ɛn slip fayn. Dɛn tin ya go mek yu bɔdi strɔng ɛn yu maynd go strɔng bak.
- Nɔ tek rɔm ɛn drɔgs: Nɔ yuz dɛn tin ya fɔ fɔgɛt yu sɔri-at. Pan ɔl we dɛn kin ɛp yu fɔ sɔm tɛm, dɛn go jɔs mek yu prɔblɛm dɛn wɔs.
- Gɛt bak pan tin dɛn we yu lɛk fɔ du: Smɔl smɔl, bigin fɔ du di tin dɛn we yu bin de ɛnjɔy trade bak.
- Gɛt advays bɔt aw yu de fil bɔt yu at: Sɔntɛnde, i nɔ kin izi fɔ lɛ yu wangren bia dis pwɛl hat. Na dɛn kayn tɛm ya, i rili fayn fɔ aks fɔ ɛp frɔm pɔsin we de gi advays bɔt mɛntɛl hεlth. Dɛn go tich yu aw fɔ dil wit dɛn filin ya.
Di tin wae impɔtant pas ɔl: If yu pwɛl hat de afɛkt yu ɛvride layf te yu nɔr ebul fɔ woke, ɛn e nɔr dɔn bɛtɛ afta lɛk 6 mɔnt, duya go to yu dɔktɔ. I kin gi yu di gayd we yu nid.
Aw wi go ɛp pɔsin we in at pwɛl?
If yu padi ɔ yu fambul de go tru dis kayn pwɛl at, yu kin ɛp dɛnsɛf.
- Bi wit dɛn: Aks, "Wetin yu want mek a du fɔ yu?" Si if dɛn want fɔ tɔk, ɔ jɔs want fɔ de wit yu.
- Ɛp fɔ du di wok we yu de du: Ivin smɔl ɛp, lɛk fɔ go na stɔ ɛn kam wit sɔntin fɔ pɔsin ɔ fɔ mek it, kin mek big difrɛns da tɛm de.
- Bi pɔsin we de lisin gud wan: Bifo yu gi advays, lisin to wetin dɛn gɛt fɔ tɔk.
- Nɔ tɔk tin lɛk, "Wetin na dat, wɔs tin kin apin to pipul dɛn," ɔ "Fɔgɛt bɔt am naw." Dat de mek dɛn nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ sɔfa.
- Nɔ tɔk tin dɛn lɛk, "Na bin gud tin we apin," ɔ "I de na bɛtɛ ples naw." Dis go mek dɛn nɔ ebul fɔ tɔk di tru tin dɛn we dɛn de fil.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Sɔri-at na tin we kin apin we pɔsin lɔs. I nɔto sik.
- Ɔlman kin gɛt pwɛl hat difrɛn we. No rayt ɔ rɔŋ we nɔ de fɔ du am.
- Pɔrsin wae gɛt pwɛl hat kin mek pɔrsin gɛt sɔm kayn sik na in bɔdi ɛn in maynd.
- Fɔ aks fɔ ɛp fɔ pas dis tranga tɛm nɔto wikɛd tin, na trɛnk.
- If yu pwɛl hat nɔr de stɔp as tɛm de go ɛn de afɛkt yu ɛvride layf, nɔr shem fɔ go to dɔktɔ ɔr mental health counselor .
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