Aw fɔ mɛn pikin ɛn nɔ du am bad afta we dɛn dɔn dayvɔs? (Di Mama ɛn Papa we Dɛn Dɔn Dayvɔs)

Divɔs na tin we kin rili fil bad fɔ mama, papa, ɛn ivin smɔl pikin. Afta yu dɔn disayd fɔ dɔn yu mared, wan pan di big tin we yu kin fred as mama ɔ papa na, ‘Wetin go apin to di pikin bikɔs wi gɛt prɔblɛm dɛn?’ ‘Yu tink se di pikin in fiuja go de pan denja?’ i aks am. Na rili nɔmal tin fɔ tink bɔt tin dɛn lɛk dis. Bɔt gud nyus de. Divɔs nɔ nid fɔ pwɛl pikin in layf. Ɔl dis dipen pan aw una, as mama ɛn papa, de handle di divɔs afta i apin.

Yu tink se divɔs kin rili afɛkt di pikin in tumara bambay?

Difrɛn opinion dɛn de bɔt dis. Sɔm risach dɛn dɔn sho se pikin dɛn we dɛn mama ɛn papa dɔn dayvɔs kin gɛt bad bad tin dɛn we go apin to dɛn ɔl dɛn layf. Dis min se we dɛn big, dɛn kin du bad tin, yuz drɔgs, ɛn gɛt prɔblɛm wit dɛn padi biznɛs .

Bɔt bɔku ɔda pipul dɛn we de stɔdi bɔt dis tɔk se fɔ dayvɔs nɔto fɔ lɛ pikin go na jel fɔ in layf. So wetin mek dis difrɛns de? I sɔprayz fɔ no se nɔto di dayvɔs insɛf de mek dɛn dayvɔs. If pikin go gɛt sakrifays ɔ nɔ go ebul fɔ du am, na di we aw di mama ɛn papa go biev afta dɛn dɔn dayvɔs.

Okay, so lɛ wi luk wetin una as mama ɛn papa kin du fɔ mɛn yu pikin in filin wund dɛn ɛn ɛp am fɔ ebul fɔ pas dis tranga tɛm.

Tin dɛn we yu kin du fɔ ɛp yu pikin fɔ fil fayn

Yu fɔ wɛl fɔs.

Dis na di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl. If yu nɔ wɛl yusɛf, yu nɔ go ebul ɛp yu pikin fɔ wɛl. Tɔk bɔt yu pen, vɛks, ɛn pwɛl at wit yu padi, fambul, ɔ advaysa we yu kin abop pan. We yu pikin si yu de dil wit yu pwɛl at di rayt we, dɛn go fala am. Yu kin tɔk bak to yu dɔktɔ bɔt dis if nid de.

Stɔp fɔ fɛt bifo di pikin.

Kɔnflikt fɔ dɔn wit dayvɔs. If yu no se yu ɛn yu man we yu bin dɔn mared to go de agyu, du am na say we di pikin dɛn nɔ go ebul fɔ yɛri. If prɔblɛm kin de bɔku tɛm we yu de transfa pikin dɛn frɔm wan pɔsin to ɔda pɔsin, yuz kɔmɔn ples fɔ dis. Fɔ ɛgzampul, yu kin du sɔntin lɛk fɔ tek di pikin na skul ɔ daycare in wan.

Establish wan ‘biznɛs’ rilayshɔnship

Di masta sabi pɔsin se: “Yu nɔ nid fɔ lɛk yu ɛks-patna, bɔt yu fɔ fɛn we fɔ wok wit dɛn pan tin dɛn we gɛt fɔ du wit pikin dɛn.” Bifo yu luk dis rilayshɔn as lɔv ɛn et, tray fɔ luk am as biznɛs rilayshɔn . Yu ‘biznɛs’ we yu de du ya na fɔ mɛn yu pikin fɔ mek i gɛt strɔng maynd ɛn gladi .

Kɔmɔn mistek ɛn kɔrɛkt we dɛn we dɛn de dil wit pikin dɛn

Bɔku mistek dɛn de we mama ɛn papa dɛn kin mek we dɛn nɔ no. Dɛn tin ya kin ambɔg di pikin in maynd bad bad wan. Lɛ wi si wetin na dɛn mistek dɛn de ɛn aw fɔ kɔrɛkt dɛn.

Aks di pikin, nɔ tɛl am.

Bifo yu tɛl yu pikin se, “Yu nɔ nid fɔ gɛt fɔ ansa fɔ dis dayvɔs,” aks yu pikin se, “Yu fil se na yu gɛt fɔ ansa fɔ dis?” Dɔn tek tɛm lisin to wetin i gɛt fɔ tɔk. Ivin we yu de disayd fɔ du tin dɛn lɛk visitation de, aks fɔ in input. Yu nɔ nid fɔ gri pan ɛvri rikwest, bɔt at ɔl dɛn fil se dɛn de insay.

Tɔk di we we fit di pikin in ej.

Pikin we ol 3 ia kin want fɔ no rili simpul tin dɛn bɔt dayvɔs. Tin dɛn lɛk "Udat de go usay?" ɛn "Wetin dɛn go si mama/papa bak?" Bɔt 9 ia ol pikin kin de tink mɔ bɔt "Wetin mek dis de apin?" I impɔtant fɔ tɔk to dɛn bɔt us infɔmeshɔn dɛn nid, bay aw dɛn ol.

Sɔm ɔda impɔtant pɔynt dɛn

• Nɔ fɔ kɛr di kes go na kɔt fɔ lɔng tɛm: Di mɔ di ligal prɔses de drɛg, na di mɔ kɔnflikt de bitwin di pati dɛn ɛn na di mɔ di impak de pan di pikin. If i pɔsibul, i go fayn fɔ mek yu tray fɔ sɔlv di prɔblɛm we ɔlman gri wit.
• Kip yu yay pan yu pikin in bihayvya: Sɔntɛnde pikin dɛn kin se "ɔltin fayn," bɔt dɛn bihayvya de sho ɔda tin. Wach fɔ chenj di we aw dɛn de biev na skul, we dɛn de ple, ɛn na os. Dɔn bak, tek tɛm wit pikin we de biev lɛk "gud pikin" pasmak. I kin tink se if i rili gud, in mama ɛn papa go kam togɛda bak. I fayn fɔ tɛl di pikin in ticha ɔ pɔsin we de kia fɔ am bɔt dis tin we de apin. Dɔn, if dɛn notis chenj na dɛn pikin in bihayvya, dɛn go ɔndastand di tin we de apin we dɛn nɔ go kɔl di pikin "bad pikin."
• Tink bɔt yusɛf, nɔto di ɔda pɔsin: I izi fɔ tink bɔt di mistek dɛn we yu man we bin dɔn mared to, bɔt dat kin mek yu nɔ gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit yu pikin. Mɛmba se na yu yon akshɔn nɔmɔ yu go ebul fɔ kɔntrol.
• Nɔ kɔt di pikin in rilayshɔn wit di ɔda mama ɔ papa: Bɔku tɛm afta dɛn dɔn dayvɔs, di mama ɔ papa we nɔ de kia fɔ di pikin kin kɔmɔt na di pikin in layf smɔl smɔl, ɔ di ɔda mama ɔ papa kin pul am. Dis nɔ kin ɛva fayn fɔ di pikin. If i nɔ gɛt siriɔs prɔblɛm lɛk fɔ du bad to am , fɔ gɛt siriɔs maynd sik , ɔ fɔ tek drɔgs, di pikin nid in mama ɛn papa ɔl tu. Ivin if dɛn kayn tin ya apin, yu kin tink bɔt fɔ alaw pɔsin fɔ kam fɛn yu .