E whakaaro ana tātou katoa he wā ataahua, he wā harikoa te hapūtanga . Tērā pea kei roto i tō hinengaro te āhua o tētahi whaea e kanapa ana, e harikoa ana i te tipu haere o tōna puku, kāore he āwangawanga, he mataku, he ruarua rānei. Tērā pea e mōhio ana koe ki tētahi pērā. Engari he rerekē rawa te pono.
Ki te pono, he rite tonu te hapūtanga ki te ekenga waka tere. Ahakoa te roa o te tatari a kōrua ko tō tāne mō tēnei pēpi, tera pea ka pāngia kōrua e ngā momo kare ā-roto i tēnei wā. I tētahi wā ka tino harikoa koe, i tētahi wā ka pouri, ka mataku, ka riri rānei. E mano ngā pātai ka puta ake ki te hinengaro mō te hauora o te pēpi, ngā huringa o tō tinana, ngā mea ka pā ki ō whanaungatanga, me te mea ka noho ahau hei whaea pai.
He aha tēnei e pā mai nei ki ahau? Nōku te he?
Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe, "Kua roa ahau e tatari ana kia whānau mai tēnei pēpi, he aha rā te take e pēnei ai ōku kare ā-roto?" He mea noa iho tēnei. E ai ki ngā tohunga, nā te mea kei te tata koe ki te aro atu ki te huringa nui rawa atu o tō ao.
"He panonitanga nui te noho hei whaea, ā, mō te wā katoa, e kore e taea te huri. Nō reira, i a koe e pāngia ana e tētahi panonitanga nui o tō ao, he mea miharo kāore koe e mataku, e manukanuka, e ruarua rānei mō taua mea," te kī a tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro .
Engari ko te mea pouri, kāore mātou e kōrero ki tētahi mō ēnei kare ā-roto. He tokomaha te hunga e whakaaro ana he hē te kare ā-roto i ēnei mea, ko au anake te tangata e pēnei ana te kare ā-roto, he hē kei roto i ahau.
"Ina tirohia ngā maheni e hoko ana i ngā taonga pēpi, he tini ngā whaea hāpu ataahua, harikoa. Kei te whakapaipai ataahua rātou i te rūma o tā rātou pēpi. Ka titiro tātou ki tēnā, ka whakaaro, 'He aha e kore ai e taea e au anake te harikoa pēnei?'"
Ina koa mō ngā wāhine kua roa e tatari ana kia whānau he tamaiti , kua pāngia rānei e ngā materoto o mua, ka puta mai ēnei kare ā-roto me te nui o te hara. Ka whakaaro rātou, "Kāore āku tika ki te whakaaro i tēnei." Nō reira, kāore rātou e kōrero ki tētahi mō tēnei mea.
Engari kia hōhonu te manawa, kia marino hoki. Ehara i te mea kāore koe e aroha ki tāu pēpi, kāore rānei koe e pai hei whaea. Inaa, e kī ana ētahi tohunga ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore e mataku, e kore hoki e tino māharahara ko rātou ngā mea e tino āwangawanga ana rātou. E whakaatu ana tēnei kāore rātou i te tino mārama ki te huringa nui e haere mai ana.
Ko ngā homoni anake te kawenga mō tēnei?
He uaua ki ētahi tāne te mārama ki ā rātou wāhine i tēnei wā. I mea tētahi tāne: "He mea whakamiharo te tere o te hurihanga o ōna kare ā-roto. Ka waea atu ahau ki a ia i mua i taku hokinga mai i te mahi ka pātai atu, 'Kei te pēhea tō rā? Kua ngenge koe? I tangi te pēpi?' ā, he tino aroha ia. Engari tekau meneti i muri mai, ina tae atu ahau ki te kāinga, he tino rerekē tōna wairua. I ētahi wā ka titiro noa ahau ki waho i te tatau kia kite ai me pēhea te haere o ngā mea."
Nō reira, ko ngā homoni te take o ēnei mea katoa? Kāore rawa. E ai ki ngā tākuta , ko ētahi wāhine ka pāngia e ngā huringa o ngā taumata homoni, ko ētahi kāore. Ā, he maha atu anō ngā āhuatanga ka puta ai ngā huringa o te wairua, ehara i te mea ko ngā homoni anake.
Ahakoa ngā mamae tinana pēnei i te whakapairuaki o te ata, te mamae o te ū, me te mate puku, ka taea e koe te pōuri me te manukanuka. Ki te kore tō tinana e harikoa, e kore tō hinengaro e harikoa.
"E kī atu ana ahau ki aku tūroro i te tīmatanga, 'Tirohia, kāore kōrua e rite te āhua o te hapūtanga ki ō mua. Nō reira, me mārama kōrua ko tō tāne he rerekē pea te āhua o tā kōrua tauhohenga ki ngā mea ōrite i tēnei wā.'" - Ahorangi Frank Lin (tākuta whānau me te tākuta wahine).
Nō reira, ki te mea he uaua ki a koe te whawhai ko koe anake ki ēnei kare ā-roto , ko te mea pai ko te whakapuaki i aua kare ā-roto ki tētahi.
Me pēhea koe e aro atu ai ki ēnei kare ā-roto?
Kaua e waha noa i ngā taumahatanga e puta ake ana ki tō hinengaro i tēnei wā. Anei ētahi huarahi hei āwhina i a koe.
| Tikanga āwhina | Ka ahatia? |
|---|---|
| Te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira, ki ō hoa, ki tō whānau rānei | Kōrerohia ō mataku, ō ruarua, me ō āwangawanga. He tino whakamarie te kōrero ki tētahi e whakarongo noa ana, engari kāore e hoatu he otinga. |
| Te kōrero ki ētahi atu whaea e hapu ana | Ina kōrero koe ki te hunga kua pāngia e ngā wheako rite, ka mōhio koe, "Ehara tēnei i te mea māku anake." Engari i te pātai, "Kei te pēhea koe?", pātai atu i ngā pātai hohonu pēnei i te, "I pēhea ō kare ā-roto i te wā i whana ai te pēpi?" |
| Te tuhi i tētahi rātaka | He tino whakaora te tuhi i ō kare ā-roto, ā, ka āwhina anō hoki i a koe ki te mārama ki ō tauira kare ā-roto. |
| Te pānui pukapuka mō te haputanga | Ka taea e koe te whiwhi māramatanga nui mā te pānui i ngā pukapuka kua tuhia, ehara i te mea mō ngā huringa tinana anake, engari mō ngā huringa hinengaro anō hoki. |
| Te kōrero ki tō tākuta | Ki te pēhia koe e te ahotea, kōrero ki tō tākuta mō tēnā. Rapua he tohutohu mēnā e tika ana. |
Te aroha, te riri me ngā mea katoa i waenganui
I ētahi wā, ahakoa e nui ana tō aroha ki tāu pēpi, tera pea ka pōuri, ka riri hoki koe mō te ngaronga o tō herekoretanga. He mea noa te whakaaro kāore e taea e koe te noho ko koe anake anō, i te huarahi e hiahia ana koe.
Ko tēnei kare ā-roto e tino pā ana ki ngā wāhine e mahi ana, ā, he angitu ā rātou mahi, nā te mea e mōhio ake ana rātou ki ngā patunga tapu me mahi e rātou mō tētahi tamaiti . I te taha o ēnei kare ā-roto ka puta mai te whakaaro whakama, "He aha ahau te kore ai e tino harikoa?"
He mahi pai mō tēnei ko te hanga rārangi:
- "Ngā mea tino pai ki ahau i roto i tōku ao"
- "Ngā mea e tino wehi ana ahau kei ngaro"
- "Ngā mea hou ka riro mai i ahau"
- "Ngā mea kāore au e māharahara ki te ngaro"
Mā te titiro ki ēnei rārangi, ka kitea e koe ngā huarahi hei mahi tonu i ngā mea e arohaina ana e koe, me te harikoa ki ngā mea hou kei a koe. Ko te mea nui ko te muru i a koe anō. Whakaarohia, "Āe, he iti nei te pouri kei ahau, engari kāore au e amuamu mō tēnei. He aha tāku e hiahia ana kia ako mai i tēnei?"
He rerekē katoa ngā mea i te wā tuarua?
Ahakoa he tino harikoa te hāputanga tuatahi mō te tangata, he tino rerekē te wheako o te hāputanga tuarua.
I tino harikoa tetahi whaea i tana haputanga i tana tamaiti tuatahi. Engari i tana haputanga i tana tamaiti tuarua, i tino manukanuka ia. I nui ake tana ruaki, kāore i taea e ia te whakakorikori tinana pērā i mua, ā, i mataku kei kore e taea e ia te hono atu ki tana tamaiti tuarua pērā i tana whanautanga tuatahi.
"I te whānautanga mai o te pēpi tuatahi, he nui te āputa i roto i ō mātou ao mō taua tamaiti. Engari i te wā tuarua, kua whakakīia taua āputa e tā mātou tamaiti tuatahi. Ahakoa i hiahia mātou ki tētahi atu tamaiti, kua riro katoa ō mātou aro, kaha, me te aroha ki te tamaiti tuatahi. Nō reira, he uaua ki te whakarite wāhi mō te tamaiti tuarua."
I kite tēnei whaea kei raro i tōna manukanuka tētahi atu pouri. Ko te pouri pea koinei tana haputanga whakamutunga, me te pouri hoki kei rerekē tōna whanaungatanga ki tana tamaiti tuatahi.
He whaea ia mō ngā tamariki tokorua ināianei, ā, e mea ana ia, "I ētahi wā ka pēnei tonu te āhua kāore au i te aro nui ki te tuarua. Engari he rite tonu taku aroha ki a ia. Kua mōhio ahau inaianei me tohatoha ia i ahau, engari kāore ia e whiwhi iti iho i ahau. He uaua ake te noho hei whaea mōna ināianei."
Karere Tangohia ki te Kāinga
- He mea tino noa te rongo i ngā momo kare ā-roto i te wā e hapū ana, tae atu ki te harikoa, te pōuri, te wehi, te riri, me te manukanuka.
- Ahakoa kei te rongo koe i ēnei kare ā-roto, ehara i te mea he whaea kino koe. Engari e mōhio ana koe ki te huringa nui kei te haere mai ki tō ao.
- Ehara i te mea ko ngā homoni anake te take o tēnei. Ko te mamae tinana me ngā raruraru o te ao tūturu anō hoki ka whai wāhi atu ki tēnei.
- Kaua e whawhai ko koe anake ki ēnei kare ā-roto. Kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira, ki tētahi hoa pono, ki tētahi mema o te whānau, ki tō tākuta rānei. He tino whakamarie te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto.
- Kia aroha ki a koe anō. Whakaaetia ō kare ā-roto, kia atawhai hoki ki a koe anō. He haerenga roa tēnei, ā, ehara i te mea me tino tika ia taahiraa o te haerenga.
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