Me kōrero tātou mō te haereere me te pouri i ngā hararei.

Kua rite koe ki te haere ki te kāinga mō te Tau Hou, mō te Kirihimete rānei? Kei te tumanako koe ki te whakapau i ngā hararei me te harikoa, te huihui me te whānau me ngā hoa tawhito, te kai i ngā pihikete reka mai i ngā ringa o tō whaea? Engari i ētahi wā, ina tata mai ēnei hararei, kāore pea koe e harikoa, engari he nui te ahotea me te pouri. Inaa, ki te mea he tangata koe e pouri ana, e ahotea ana i te wā hararei, ahakoa te haereere, kāore pea e rite ki te moemoeā, engari he wheako whakamataku e whakamamae ana i tō ngākau. Nō reira, i tēnei rā ka kōrero tātou mō te haereere me te pouri e pā mai ana me ēnei hararei.

He aha ngā mea ka taea e koe te tumanako atu ina haereere ana koe me te pouri?

E ai ki a Philip Maskin, he ahorangi hinengaro i Te Whare Wānanga o Columbia, he rerekē ngā pānga o te haereere ki ia tangata.

I tētahi taha, he tino pai te neke ki tētahi taiao hou mō tō hinengaro. Whakaarohia kei tētahi wāhi hou koe, kei te hararei, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te ara ake i te 6 i te ata ki te haere ki te tari. Mā tēnei taiao hou, ka whakaitihia ngā taumahatanga maha. Nō reira, ka taea e koe te rongo i te tino whakamarie mai i te pouri o te hararei.

Engari i tētahi atu taha, he nui ake te ahotea o te haereere i ēnei rā i tō mua. E whakaaro ana tātou "ka pai te haere o te haerenga." Engari ehara i te mea koinei te mea e tupu ana. I ētahi wā me noho tātou i roto i te waka i runga i ngā rori o te tāone mō ngā hāora, me tatari rānei i roto i ngā rarangi roa i te taunga rererangi. He iti ake ngā rerenga i tō mua, ā, ahakoa ko ērā e rere ana he kī tonu, ā, he kī tonu te taunga rererangi.

Hei whakarāpopototanga, ina pouri koe, he tino iti tō manawanui ki te riri. Nō reira, ahakoa he mea iti pēnei i te whakaroa o tō rerenga, ka uaua ki a koe te whakaaro, "Āe, he mea iti tēnā."

Te Pōuri o te Hararei: Whakahaerehia te Mana

"Ahakoa te wāhi e haere ana koe, he mea nui kia tino rite koe," te kī a te tohunga hinengaro haumanu a Helen Grusd. "Ko tēnei whakaritenga te kano ārai mate pai rawa atu mō te ahotea."

Ehara tēnei whakaritenga i te mea mō te whakarite ki te mau kākahu. "Me rite tō hinengaro. Me pēhea e whakamana ai koe i a koe anō kia taea ai e koe te whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga?"

Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te whakatau tika i te kaupapa o tō haerenga. "Ka hono anō koe ki te whānau? Kāore rānei, ka noho noa koe ki te wātea me te ngahau?" Muri iho, me kī tonu koe ki a koe anō: "Ka angitu tēnei haerenga māku."

E mea ana a Grusz kia maumahara ki tēnei kīanga, pērā i te mantra. "Ka taea e ngā mea te tupu kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere. Engari me rite koe ki te whakaaro, 'Kei ahau te mana whakahaere i ngā mea katoa ka taea e au te whakahaere.'" Ina pouri koe, ina hē tetahi mea, ka rite koe ki te kore e taea e koe te whakahaere i tetahi mea. Engari ka taea e koe te kite i te āhuatanga hei wero. Kātahi ka taea e koe te pārekareka ki te wero, kaua ki te whakaaro he patunga koe.

Te hiranga o te whakatakoto whāinga i mua i te haerenga

E kī ana a Ahorangi Maskin kia whakatakotohia ētahi whāinga mō tō hararei. "Tuatahi, whakaarohia ngā mea ka pārekareka ki a koe mō te haerenga. Kātahi, whakatakotohia he whāinga māu me tō whānau. Pātai atu ki a koe anō me tō hoa rangatira, 'He aha tā tātou e hiahia ana mai i tēnei haerenga?' "

Heoi anō, me tutuki ngā whāinga kua whakatakotoria e koe. Hei tauira, ki te haere koe ki te hī ika, ko tāu whāinga he hopu i te ika nui rawa atu i te moana, he wātea rānei, he pārekareka ki te haerenga me tō hoa rangatira, tamariki rānei? Ki te mea he mea hei painga māu i tō hararei, inā koa he mea ka taea e koe te whakapuaki ki te toenga o tō whānau, ka taea e koe te arotahi ki taua whāinga. Kātahi ka kore koe e noho pōrearea ki ētahi atu mea kāore i te tino hira.

Ngā painga o te whakamahere i mua

Mō te hunga e pāngia ana e te pouri o te hararei, mā te whakamahere i mua ka āwhina i te whakaiti i te ahotea me te manukanuka. Ki te haere koe i tētahi haerenga, whakamaheretia kia māmā noa iho, e ai ki te tohunga hinengaro a Elaine Rodino.

• Kōwhiria te haere i ngā rā e iti ake ana te mano.
• Pukahia ngā rerenga i ngā wā kāore i te nui te tangata i te taunga rererangi.
• Kia mōhio ki te huarere i mua i te wā. Pātai atu ki ngā kamupene rererangi he aha ā rātou kaupapa here whakahoki moni mēnā ka whakakorehia ngā rerenga.

"Pērā, ka taea e koe te karo i te noho mau i te taunga rererangi mō ngā haora 18, nā te mea ka taea e tēnā te akiaki i te tangata kua pouri kē," te kī a Rodino.

Me whakamahere hoki kia pai te moe i mua i tō haerenga, kai i tētahi kai totika , ā, mauria mai hoki ētahi kai māu mō te haerenga.

A, mehemea ehara i te mea ko ngā 'Pōuri Hararei' anake?

I te whakatakoto whāinga me te whakamahere, he mea nui kia whakaarohia ngā harikoa o te haerenga i mua i te wā. "Engari i ētahi wā ka tino pouri te tangata, ā, kāore e taea e rātou te whakaaro ki tētahi mea harikoa. Ina tupu tēnā, he mea tika kia kōrero ki tō hoa mō tēnā," te kī a Maskin. "He mea nui rānei kia kōrero ki tētahi hoa tata, ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro whakapono, ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro hauora hinengaro rānei, arā, ki tō tākuta."

He mate te pouri haumanu, ā, he rongoā anō hoki mōna. "Engari kāore ētahi tāngata e hiahia ki te tono āwhina, e whakaaro ana rātou he tohu ngoikore. He whakamataku," te whakanui a Muskin. Ki te whakaaro koe he tohu ngoikore te tono āwhina, whakaarohia tēnei: ​​Ahakoa ngā kaitākaro pai rawa atu o te ao, he kaiako ā rātou. Kāore rātou e whakama ki te tono āwhina. He kaiawhina nui te kaitohutohu hauora hinengaro , pērā i tō tākuta .

Ahakoa te pāngia e te pouri haumanu, ehara i te mea kāore e taea e koe te haere tonu. Engari he mea nui kia haere tonu koe ki te mahi i ngā mea hei āwhina i a koe kia pai ake te āhua. Puritia he kāri iti hei whakarārangi i ō kaha me ngā tikanga e whakamahia ana e koe hei āwhina i a koe kia kaha tonu te hinengaro . Tērā pea ko te hikoi, te whakarongo ki te puoro, te inu i tētahi karāhe wai, te kōrero rānei ki tētahi hoa. Tirohia te kāri i ngā wā katoa, me te whakamahara ki a koe anō ka taea e koe te whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga. Waihoki, ki te mea he rongoā āu e tangohia ana e koe, kia tino tangohia i te wā tika .

He aha tāu e mahi ai i muri i tō taenga ki tō ūnga?

He maha ngā take e pouri ai koe ahakoa kua tae koe ki tō ūnga. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina.

Whakamahia te tikanga 'HALT'.

Tukua kia whakaaetia koe ki te kī "kāo" ki ngā mea kāore koe e hiahia ana. Ka kī "āe" tātou katoa ki ngā mea katoa nā te mea e hiahia ana tātou ki te whakamanawareka i te katoa. Engari ko te mutunga iho o tēnā ko te whakangaromanga. Whakamahia te kupu 'HALT' hei tirotiro tonu i tō wairua.

Kia mōhio koe ki tō āhua, ka taea e koe te kī, "Kua paku ngenge ahau, ka takoto ahau mō tētahi wā" me te "Kāore au e mahi i tēnei." Kātahi ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, me te karo i ngā mea kāore e pai ki a koe.

Ētahi atu tohutohu

• Whakaharatauhia te Whakahohenga Whanoke: Mā ngā mahi pēnei i te ara ake me te hikoi, te whakarongo ki te puoro, me te kata tahi me te katoa ka taea te whakapai ake i tō wairua.
• Noho i te wā o nāianei: Ina huihui ngā whānau mō ngā hararei, ka puta ake ngā mauahara tawhito me ngā kare ā-roto mamae. Whakaarohia, "Koinei te tangata e noho tahi ana koe, ehara i te tangata i 20 tau ki muri." Arotahi ki te tangata ko koe i nāianei.
• Whakahaerehia tō kai me tō waipiro: Kī tonu ngā hararei i ngā kai me ngā inu reka. Keke a Māmā, pihikete reka... Mea atu ki a koe anō, "Ka kai au i ēnei i ētahi wā, engari kāore i te katoa." Kia tino tupato hoki ki tō inu waipiro. Ka taea e te waipiro te whakararuraru i tō moe me te whakararu i tō wairua. Mena kei te ora ake koe i te waranga waipiro, he pai ake te karo i ngā pāti.
• Korikori Tinana: He wā atawhai ngā hararei ki a koe anō. Arā, ehara i te mea ko te kai pai anake, engari ko te ara ake i te ata me te mahi i ngā mea pēnei i te oma, te hikoi rānei. Ina tiaki koe i a koe anō i te tinana, ka tutuki hoki ō hiahia hinengaro. He rite te hikoi i ia rā ki te rongoā whakapōrearea mō ētahi tāngata.