Xa ugqirha wakho ekuxelela ukuba unomhlaza webele, kwaye sele uqhubele phambili kancinci, iSigaba sesiThathu okanye sesiNe, kumele ukuba uzive ngathi ubethekile entlokweni. Kuqhelekile ukuziva ngathi lonke ihlabathi lakho liyawa ngelo xesha. Kodwa eyona nto inzima, eyona nto inzima mhlawumbi kukucinga ngendlela yokuxelela usapho lwakho, abantu abasondeleyo kuwe - umyeni wakho, abantwana bakho, umama, utata. Oku kungaphezulu kokunika nje ulwazi. Kufuneka ujongane neemvakalelo zakho zoloyiko, usizi, nomsindo, kunye neemvakalelo zosapho lwakho. Kodwa awuwedwa. Bangaphi abafazi ehlabathini abaye badlula kumava afanayo? Masithethe ngendlela yokwenza le ngxoxo inzima ibe namandla kuwo wonke umntu kusapho lwakho.
Uyisasaza njani le ndaba ekhaya?
Ngokwesiqhelo, uninzi lwabantu luqala ngokuxelela amaqabane abo, oko kukuthi, amadoda okanye abafazi babo, ngolu hlobo lweendaba. Eyona nto ilungileyo kukuba babe nawe xa ugqirha ekunika olu xilongo. Kodwa oko akwenzeki rhoqo. Ngamanye amaxesha unokuziva iindaba xa uwedwa.
Khawucinge nje umama womyeni wakho esweleke ngenxa yomhlaza. Ungacinga kabini kangaphi ngokuxelela umntu onjalo? Kodwa eyona nto ilungileyo onokuyenza ngexesha elinje kukuthetha inyaniso ngokunyaniseka nangokukhawuleza .
Ukuba uzama ukufihla ezi zinto ngenxa yokoyika ukubenzakalisa, ucinga ukuba kufuneka ubakhusele, oko kuya kukwenza uzive udandathekile nangakumbi kwaye kuya kuphazamisa ubudlelwane bakho.
“Kuqhelekile ukuba bazive bedakumbile. Kufuneka ubavumele bakhuphe,” batsho oogqirha nabacebisi. Kusenokuba nzima kuwe ukunyamezela ukubabona bekhala kwaye becaphukile. Kodwa kungcono kunokuzivalela ezo mvakalelo.
Ungaxelela abazali bakho okanye abantakwenu ngokuthe ngqo. Okanye, ukuba oko kunzima kakhulu kuwe, ungacela iqabane lakho okanye umhlobo othembekileyo ukuba akuxelele iindaba. Musa ukoyika ukuxelela izalamane ezikude okanye abanye abahlobo. Baxelele kancinci kancinci xa unesibindi. Ukuxelela wonke umntu into efanayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokukudinisa ngokweemvakalelo.
Ubaxelela njani abantwana ngale nto?
Mhlawumbi le yeyona nxalenye inzima. Ukuba abantwana bakho basebancinci, ubenza njani baqonde oku? Ubaxelela njani inyaniso ngaphandle kokubasongela?
Khawuthelekelele abantwana bakho beneminyaka emi-3 neyi-6 ubudala. Nokuba besebancinci kangaka, kungcono ukubaxelela inyani. Kodwa kuyaqondakala ngenxa yeminyaka yabo.
"Yithi ngqo, 'Umama unomhlaza. ' Umhlaza."Musa ukoyika igama elithi ''. Ukuba uyalifihla elo gama, xa beliva komnye umntu, banokuba nombuzo omkhulu engqondweni yabo, "Mama, kutheni ungandixelelanga inyaniso?" Oko kuya kubenza boyike nangakumbi.
Ungayichaza ngolu hlobo: "Umama unelitye elibi emzimbeni wakhe. Yiyo loo nto eziva egula kancinci. Ugqirha umnika iyeza lokunyibilikisa ilitye aze alisuse. Elo yeza lingenza iinwele zakhe ziwe, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uziva ediniwe. Ukuba ubona abantu abadala bekhala, ungoyiki loo nto, kuyinto eqhelekileyo."
Indlela othetha ngayo nabantwana mayihluke ngokweminyaka yabo.
| Iqela leminyaka yomntwana | Indlela yokuthetha |
|---|---|
| Abantwana abasaqalayo esikolweni kunye nabantwana abancinci (abaneminyaka emi-3-7 ubudala) | Sebenzisa amagama alula kakhulu. Cacisa ukuba awanazosulelo kwaye ayilotyala lawo. Sebenzisa izifaniso ezifana nokuthi "ilitye esiswini sikamama." |
| Abantwana abafunda isikolo (abaneminyaka eyi-8-12 ubudala) | Ungathetha ngokweenkcukacha ezithe vetshe. Baxelele ukuba loluphi unyango (umz., ukulahleka kweenwele ngenxa ye-chemotherapy) kunye nendlela oluza kukuchaphazela ngayo. Babuze imibuzo, thetha ngoloyiko lwabo. |
| Abantwana abancinci (Abakwishumi elivisayo) | Thetha ngokukhululekileyo njengomntu omdala. Banokukhangela ulwazi kwi-intanethi, ngoko ke nyaniseka malunga nemeko yakho yokwenyani (iSigaba sesi-3 okanye sesi-4), iindlela zonyango, kunye noqikelelo lwesifo. Bavumele baveze iimvakalelo zabo. Kwakhona thetha ngeendlela onokubanceda ngazo. |
Ubenza njani baqonde imeko yakho yokwenyani?
Umhlaza awufani kuwo wonke umntu. Luxanduva lwakho ukuchazela usapho lwakho oku. Ayingabo bonke abanomhlaza webele abaya kwenziwa utyando okanye i-chemotherapy.
Kunokuba nzima ukuchazela abantu obathandayo, ingakumbi ngeSigaba sesi-4.Kunokuba nzima kubo ukwamkela inyani yokuba "ayinakuphiliswa ngokupheleleyo, kodwa inokulawulwa, kwaye kufuneka uqhubeke nokuba phantsi kohlobo oluthile lonyango."
Amanye amalungu osapho anokuba noloyiko lokuba uza kufa kungekudala. Baya kukhululeka kukwazi ukuba kukho abafazi abaphila iminyaka elishumi nangaphezulu benomhlaza wesigaba sesi-IV. Kwisigaba sesi-3, elo xesha linokuba lide nangakumbi.
Eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukuthetha inyaniso nogqirha wakho ngento ayithethileyo. Ukuba umntwana omncinci ubuza into efana nokuthi, "Ngaba uMama uza kufa?" ungathi, "Asicingi ngaloo nto ngoku, nyana. Oogqirha bamnyamekela kakuhle uMama. Ukuba kubonakala ngathi oko kuza kwenzeka, siza kuphinda sithethe ngayo."
Ungacela njani uncedo kusapho?
Umhlaza ngokuqinisekileyo uza kutshintsha ubomi bosapho lwakho, ngoko ke kubalulekile ukuba ucacelwe ngento oyifunayo neyidingayo kwabo basondeleyo kuwe.
Cela uncedo ngokucacileyo , njengokuthi "Ndifuna kakhulu ukuba uhlambe impahla ngoLwesibini uze ulande abantwana esikolweni ngezinye iintsuku ezintathu." Kuba neqabane lakho alikwazi ukuyifunda ingqondo yakho.
Iimfuno zakho ziya kutshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ukuba ukwinqanaba lesithathu, unokuba nexesha elinzima ngonyango , uze ukwazi ukubuyela kubomi bakho obuqhelekileyo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa. Kwinqanaba lesine, ungadinga uncedo olungakumbi. Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho uzive ulungile, kunye namanye amaxesha apho uzive unzima. Kubalulekile ukuthetha ngako konke oku nosapho lwakho kwaye ugqibe ukuba yintoni elungele wonke umntu.
Kufuneka ufunde ukwamkela uncedo. Ukuba ubusoloko usebenza wedwa, kunokuba nzima ukucela uncedo kwabanye ngequbuliso uze wamkele uncedo abakunika lona. Kodwa okwangoku, akuyonto imbi, yinto eyimfuneko.
Musa ukoyika ukuthetha ngeminqweno yakho.
Unyango lomhlaza webele ngoku luphucuke kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, abanye abafazi bakufumanisa kuthuthuzela kakhulu ukuthetha ngesihloko abantu abaninzi abasoyikayo ukuthetha ngaso. Oko kukuthi, "Kuthekani ukuba unyango lwam alusebenzi?" okanye "Kuthekani ukuba ndicinga ukuba ndinonyango ngoku?"
Mhlawumbi ugqirha wakho uthi umhlaza wakho wesigaba sesi-3 uyanyangeka. Kodwa kusenokuba luncedo ukuthetha nosapho lwakho malunga nokuba kuza kwenzeka ntoni ukuba awunyangeki. Okanye mhlawumbi ubukwisigaba sesi-4 iminyaka, uzame lonke unyango olunokwenzeka, kwaye ngoku ucinga ngokhathalelo lwe-hospice ukukunceda uphile imihla yakho yokugqibela ukhululekile.
Kukho inzuzo efihlakeleyo yokuba nezi ngxoxo zinzima. Xa uthetha ngazo, uloyiko lwakho luyaphela. Xa uxelela usapho lwakho into oyifunayo kwaye uyibhale phantsi, uya kucinga, "Kulungile, ngoku ndinecebo. Ngoku ndingalibeka ecaleni ndicinge ngokuphila."
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Thembeka kwaye ukhululeke kusapho lwakho, ingakumbi iqabane lakho, malunga nemeko yokwenyani. Musa ukufihla ulwazi ukuze ulukhusele.
- Xa uthetha nabantwana, sebenzisa amagama alula afanele iminyaka yabo . Musa ukoyika igama elithi "umhlaza," kodwa lichaze ngendlela abanokuyiqonda.
- Cela uncedo ngokucacileyo . Abanye abakwazi ukuyifunda ingqondo yakho. Ukucela nokwamkela uncedo luphawu lwamandla.
- Musa ukoyika ukuthetha ngemeko yakho, unyango, kunye neminqweno yakho yekamva. Ezi ngxoxo ziya kunika wena nosapho lwakho uxolo lwengqondo kunye nokucaca.
- Musa ukuhamba wedwa kolu hambo. Fumana inkxaso kugqirha wakho, kusapho lwakho nakubahlobo bakho obathembayo. Funa ingcebiso ukuba kuyimfuneko.
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