Ngaba nawe unengxaki yokuqalisa incoko nabahlobo? Uncedo oluncinci kuthi bantu abane-autism (Autism Spectrum Disorder) ukuze sivane nabahlobo!

Ngamanye amaxesha ufuna ukudlala nokuthetha nomntu. Kodwa usenokungaqondi ukuba uza kuyiqala njani okanye uza kuthini. Kwabanye abantu, le yinto enokwenziwa lula kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ungumntu ophila ne-Autism Spectrum Disorder, ukuthetha nabanye nokwenza abahlobo kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Kusenokuthatha ukuziqhelanisa nokuzinikela kancinci. Asikuko ukuba unetyala lakho konke konke, kuba sonke sahlukile. Ezinye izinto ziza lula kuthi, ngelixa ezinye zifuna uncedo oluncinci. Ngoko ke namhlanje, masithethe ngendlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukuthetha kuthi ukwakha obu buhlobo nokuqinisa ubuhlobo esinabo, kunye nendlela yokukwenza ngokufanelekileyo.

Uqala njani ukumazi umntu uze uqalise incoko?

Okokuqala, khumbula ukuba ukudibana nomntu omtsha okanye ukuqala incoko akuyonto inkulu. Ungathi nje "molo" uze ubize igama lakho. Ukuba udibana nomntu omdala kancinci, ungathi into efana nale "molo, ndiyavuya ukukwazi."

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ngeli xesha kukugcina uncumo oluncinci ebusweni bakho, umjonge emehlweni omnye umntu, kwaye ubonise umdla kwinto ayithethayo. Xa usenza ezi zinto, abanye baya kuqonda ngokulula ukuba unobuhlobo kakhulu kwaye uzimisele ukuthetha.

Nazi ezinye iindlela onokuzisebenzisa ukuqala elinye ibali:

• Ukuba ubona umntu epasejini esikolweni okanye xa ungena eklasini, buza into efana nale, "Molo, unjani?"
• Kwivenkile yokutyela okanye kwithala leencwadi, ncuma uze ubuze ngendlela enobuhlobo, "Molo, kulungile ukuba ndihlale apha?" okanye uthi nje "molo."
• Nika ukwabelana ngento onayo, njengepensele eyongezelelweyo, okanye wenze isincomo esincinci njengokuthi, "Ibhegi yakho intle" okanye "Izihlangu zakho zintle kakhulu!"
• Mema umntu ngokumbuza athi, "Ungahlala apha?" kwindawo yokutyela okanye kwithala leencwadi, okanye ubuze athi, "Ungathanda ukuza kudlala nawe?" xa iqela lisenza umsebenzi othile.

Khawucinge nje, ukuncuma okuncinci kunye nelizwi elinobubele kunokwenza umahluko omkhulu!

Ukuba ufuna uncedo lokuqhela ukuthetha ezi zinto, ziqhelise ukuzithetha nabazali bakho okanye nomnye umntu omdala omthembayo. Emva koko, xa ufuna ngokwenene ukuthetha nomntu, uya kukwazi ukwenjenjalo ngaphandle kweengxaki.

Nje ukuba ibali liqale, uqhubeka njani nalo?

Wonke umntu uyakuthanda ukuthetha ngezinto azithandayo. Ngoko ke xa ukunye nomntu, ungambuza imibuzo efana nale: "Wenza ntoni ukuze wonwabe?" okanye "Yiyiphi inkqubo yakho yeTV oyithandayo?" Xa ubuza imibuzo efana nale, omnye umntu uyazi ukuba unomdla kuye.

Ngoku ukuze uqhubeke nencoko, xa omnye umntu ekuphendula, umzekelo, "Ndiyakuthanda ukuhamba nenja yam," kufuneka uthethe into ayithethileyo. Ungathi, "Owu, nam ndinenja," okanye "Ngubani igama lenja yakho?" Unganqwala intloko yakho uphinde oko kuthethwe ngomnye umntu: "Owu, igama lenja yakho nguSpot?"

Xa usenza oku, omnye umntu uyazi ukuba umamele ngononophelo kwaye uyayiqonda into ayithethileyo. Incoko ephumelelayo kukuba omabini amaqela atshintshana ngokuthetha.

Kutheni ezi zinto zahlukile kancinci xa une-autism (Autism Spectrum Disorder)?

Ngenxa yokuba une-autism spectrum disorder, ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba nzima ukuqonda imbonakalo yobuso babanye abantu, utshintsho oluncinci kwithoni yabo yelizwi, okanye iimpawu ezingezizo ezomlomo. Kwakhona, nangona ungathanda ukuthetha ngesihloko esifanayo ixesha elide, abanye basenokungathandi. Yiyo loo nto sithetha kakhulu ngezinto ezincinci ekufuneka uzilumkele kule ncoko. Inokukunceda woyise eminye yale mingeni.

Uyazi njani ukuba kufuneka utshintshe umxholo okanye uyeke nini ukuthetha?

Xa uthetha nomntu, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba kufuneka utshintshe nini umxholo okanye uyeke nini ukuthetha. Ngokwesiqhelo singabona xa umntu ekulungele ukutshintsha umxholo okanye ayeke ukuthetha ngezinto ezifana nezi:

• Xa bengakujongi kangako (ungasajongi emehlweni).
• Xa ujonga kude nawe, okanye ujikeleze igumbi.
• Ngethuba bejonge ifowuni yabo okanye besenza enye into.
• Xa ngequbuliso uqala ukuthetha ngento eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo.
• Xa ungayiphenduli imibuzo oyibuzayo.

Ngamanye amaxesha omnye umntu uya kwenza izinto zibe lula kuwe aze athi, "Ndifanele ndihambe ngoku. Sala kakuhle!" Ukuba ufuna ukuhamba, ungathi, "Ndifanele ndihambe ngoku," "Bekumnandi ukuthetha nawe," okanye, ukuba udibana nomntu omtsha, "Bekumnandi ukudibana nawe."

Xa uthumela imiyalezo okanye uncokola kwi-intanethi nomhlobo, kunokuba nzima ukubona xa umntu ezama ukuyeka incoko. Kwimeko enjalo, ukuba akaphendulanga kwimiyalezo yakho emibini yokugqibela, ungayeka ukuthumela imiyalezo okanye ukubhala. Akuyi kuba nzima komnye umntu.

Zikhumbule ezi zinto xa uthetha nomnye umntu.

Xa uthetha, kubalulekile ukwazi into omawuyenze nento ongamawuyenze. Ezi zinto ziya kunceda abanye bazive bekhululekile xa bethetha nawe:

• Thetha ngezinto ezahlukeneyo: Zama ukungathethi ngento enye ixesha elide. Ukuba wenza njalo, omnye umntu unokudinwa. Ungathetha ngezinto ezahlukeneyo, ezifana nezilwanyana, ezemidlalo, ukutya, iimuvi, kunye nemidlalo yevidiyo.
• Khetha izinto enizithandayo nobabini:Umzekelo, ukuba ufuna ukuthetha ngendlela yokwakha iinqwelomoya, kodwa omnye umntu akanamdla kuloo nto, kusenokuba yinto edinisayo ukuba ayimamele. Ngoko thethani ngezinto enifana ngazo nobabini.
• Vumela omnye umntu athethe: Kubaluleke kakhulu ukunika omnye umntu ithuba lokuveza izimvo zakhe nokuthetha, endaweni yokuthetha nje.
• Musa ukusondela kakhulu: Gcina ingalo ikude nomntu othetha naye ukuze angaziva ekhululekile. Oku kuthetha ukuba kufuneka ucinge ngendawo yakho.
• Yiba nobuhlobo: Bonisa ukuba umamele oko kuthethwa ngomnye umntu. Oku kungenziwa ngokuncuma, ukunqwala, ukumjonga, okanye ukubuza eminye imibuzo enxulumene noko akuthethileyo .

Ukuba unesifo se-autism spectrum disorder, le mithetho yentlalo ingabonakala inzima kancinci. Kodwa ngokunika ingqalelo kwizinto ezincinci nokuziqhelanisa, ungazenza lula. Kufana nokufunda ulwimi olutsha, kuba lula ngakumbi ukuqhelana nazo.

Ngoko ke, nazi izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule koko sithethe ngako:

Kulungile, ngoko ke sithethe kakhulu namhlanje, akunjalo? Ukuba nencoko enobuhlobo nabahlobo bakho kunokubonakala ngathi ngumceli mngeni kuwe, onesifo se-autism spectrum disorder, kodwa ngoku uza kuqonda ukuba akunakwenzeka.

Kuya kukunceda kakhulu ukuba ukhumbula ezi zinto zilandelayo:

1. Qala ngobuhlobo: Musa ukoyika ukuqala incoko ngoncumo oluncinci kunye no-"molo" olulula. Jonga omnye umntu kwaye unikele ingqalelo kwinto ayithethayo.

2. Buza imibuzo uze umamele: Ukubuza imibuzo malunga nezinto ezithandwa ngomnye umntu kubonisa ukuba unomdla kuye. Mamela ngononophelo oko akutshoyo uze uthethe into enxulumene nayo.

3. Qonda iimpawu zabanye abantu: Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umntu uzama ukumisa incoko okanye ukutshintsha umxholo, mvumele. Musa ukuzama ukuyinyanzela incoko.

4. Ukuziqhelanisa yeyona nto ibalulekileyo: Kulungile ukuba awukwazi ukwenza ezi zinto ngoko nangoko. Ziqhelanise nomntu omthembayo. Ziqhelise kwaye uza kuphucula.

5. Yiba nguwe: Nangona la macebiso enokukunceda, hlala ungowakho kwaye ube ngumntu onyanisekileyo. Iimpawu zakho ezilungileyo kunye nezinto ozithandayo zezona zikwenza ube ngokhethekileyo.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba, ungayeki ukuzama! Wonke umntu uyathanda ukuba nabahlobo nokuthetha. Unelungelo lokonwabela olo lonwabo nawe. Ukuba ufunda kancinci uze wenze umgudu omncinci, nawe ungaba ngumhlobo omhle kwaye wenze abahlobo abaninzi abalungileyo!

I- Autism, izakhono zentlalo, unxibelelwano, ubuhlobo, izakhono zencoko, i-autism spectrum disorder