Ngaba umntwana wakho omncinci uyalila xa ekushiya? Masithethe ngexhala lokuhlukana!

BoMama nooTata, kufuneka ukuba niqhelene kakhulu nomntwana wenu ohlala enibambelele, ekhala kwaye ekhala, xa nilungiselela ukuya emsebenzini okanye nihambahamba nje kancinci. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kunokuvakala ngathi lusizi nokukhathazeka okukhulu, kodwa eneneni yinxalenye eqhelekileyo yophuhliso lwabantwana abancinci. Khululeka, le yinto efunyanwa phantse ngumzali ngamnye. Namhlanje, masithethe ngale meko ibizwa ngokuba yiSeparation Anxiety ngokweenkcukacha.

Yintoni le nto ibangela ukuxhalaba ngokwahlukana ebantwaneni?

Ngamafutshane, ixhala lokuhlukana liba xa umntwana wakho omncinci, nokuba lusana okanye umntwana omncinci, ekhala aze akhathazeke xa ukude naye okanye ungamboni. Eli linqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokukhula komntwana. Lidla ngokuqala xa umntwana ephakathi kweenyanga ezi-6 ukuya kwezi-12 ubudala . Kwabanye abantwana, linokuhlala de babe neminyaka emi-3 ubudala .

Uyazi ukuba kutheni oku kusenzeka kubantwana abancinci? Xa besebancinci, abanakuyiqonda into yokuba "nokuba into ayibonakali, isekhona." Siyibiza ngokuba yi "(Object Permanence)`` . Oko kukuthi, ukukwazi ukuqonda ukuba into okanye umntu usekhona, nokuba akabonakali. Ngoko ke, xa umntwana engakuboni, usenokucinga ukuba awuyi kubuya. Kodwa njengoko umntwana ekhula, uyaqonda ukuba uhamba okwethutyana kwaye uza kubuya.

Ingaba oku kuqhelekile? Okanye yinto ekufuneka ukhathazeke ngayo?

Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive uneentlungu ezininzi xa ushiya umntwana wakho emsebenzini uze uphume ngomnyango, ukhale ezinyaweni zakho. Kodwa khumbula, oku kungokwexeshana, kungokwexeshana nje elifutshane . Enyanisweni, olu luphawu oluhle lolwalamano oluqinileyo phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakho. Kuthatha ixesha ukuba umntwana wakho adlule kweli nqanaba. Amaxesha anje anokuba luxinzelelo kuwe nakumntwana wakho. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuziqhelanisa nokuvalelisa ngokukhawuleza uze uxelele umntwana wakho ukuba uza kubuya nini, unokunciphisa intlungu yokuhlukana.

Nantsi enye into ekufuneka uyiqonde. Ixhala Lokwahlukana kunye nexhala Lomntu Ongamaziyo zizinto ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha iimpawu zinokufana. Ixhala Lomntu Ongamaziyo kuxa umntwana esoyika aze angakhululeki xa ebona umntu angamaziyo. Lolo luphawu oluqhelekileyo lokukhula kubantwana bale minyaka.

Ziziphi iimpawu zomntwana oziphatha ngolu hlobo?

Ukuxhalaba kokwahlukana kwiintsana nabantwana abancinci kunokuquka ezi mpawu zilandelayo:

• Ukulila okanye ukwenza ingxolo, nokuba uya kwelinye igumbi kwaye abakwazi ukukubona.
• Ukukhwaza kakhulu okanye ukudubuleka xa uzama ukubashiya.
• Ukubambelela emzimbeni wakho , ungakuyeki.
• Ukulila xa ubashiya kwindawo yokugcina abantwana okanye endlwini yomnye umntu.
• Ndizama ukukugcina ukufutshane ngelixa ulele.

Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zihlala zincipha kancinci kancinci xa umntwana eneminyaka emi-2 okanye emi-3 ubudala . Kodwa khumbula, ayingabo bonke abantwana abafanayo . Umntwana wakho usenokufuna ixesha elingakumbi ukuze aphume kweli nqanaba. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo.

Xa oku kuba yinto engaqhelekanga? Ngaba kufuneka ndiye kugqirha wabantwana?

Ixhala lokuhlukana liqhelekile eliqhubeka emva kokuba umntwana wakho eqale isikolo sabantwana abancinci, ngesiqhelo emva kweminyaka emi-3. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqwalasela ukuba ngaba oko kuyayichaphazela na indlela umntwana wakho angakwazi ngayo ukuya esikolweni okanye ukuhlala esikolweni.

Ixhala lokuhlukana elihlala likho emva kweminyaka emi-3 lisenokuba luphawu lwesifo sokuxhalaba sokuhlukana . Olu luloyiko kunye noxinzelelo lokuhlukana olunzima nolungafanelanga ubudala bomntwana kwaye luchaphazela ubomi bemihla ngemihla, impilo yengqondo, kunye nentlalo-ntle yoluntu.

Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana abancinci babe nexhala elincinci lokuhlukana xa bekwindawo entsha okanye imeko entsha. Umzekelo, ngosuku lokuqala lwesikolo, umntwana wakho usenokukhala aze akunamathele, engavumi ukuhamba. Kodwa emva kosuku olunye okanye ezimbini, kufuneka aqhele imeko entsha kwaye ezi ndlela zokuziphatha maziphele. Ngaphandle koko, ukuba olu xhala luyaqhubeka imihla ngemihla, iveki neveki , lunokuba luphawu "lweSifo sokuXhalana ngokuHlangana".

Ukuba umntwana wakho uneminyaka engaphezu kwemi-3 ubudala kwaye unengxaki yokuxhalaba okanye uloyiko lokuhlukaniswa nawe , qiniseka ukuba uthetha nogqirha wakho wezingane ngale nto. Xelela ugqirha wakho into oyibonayo nento umntwana wakho akuxelela yona ngokuhlukana. Ugqirha angakuxilonga imeko aze akuthumelele unyango ukuba kuyimfuneko.

Kutheni umntwana wam elila xa ndihamba? Yintoni ebangela oku?

Isizathu esiphambili soku kukuba umntwana wakho uziva engakhuselekanga xa ungekho. Abantwana abancinci, oko kukuthi iintsana nabantwana abancinci, baxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kubanakekeli babo ukuze bafumane ukhuseleko nokhuseleko. Kwakhona, njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, basafunda ingcamango ethi "Into Ehlala Ihleli" . Oku kuthetha ukuba nokuba into okanye umntu akasekho emehlweni abo, abaqondi ngokupheleleyo ukuba usekhona. Ngoko ke, baziva bengakhuselekanga xa ungekho, kwaye abaqondi ngokupheleleyo ukuba uza kubuya, ngoko ke bayacaphuka baze balile.

Singayisingatha njani le meko? Singenza ntoni njengabazali?

Kunokuba nzima ukuthuthuzela umntwana onexhala lokuhlukana naye. Nangona kunjalo, ungayilawula le meko ngokwenza utshintsho oluncinci kwindlela oqhele ngayo kwaye ugcine incoko imfutshane kwaye imnandi. Oku kuya kwenza izinto ziqikeleleke kumntwana wakho, kwaye kuya kumnika ukuzithemba kokuba uza kubuya. Emva kwexesha elithile, umntwana wakho uya kuzola aze aphile kakuhle ngaphandle kwakho.

Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzenza ukuze ubeke isiseko sokwahlukana okuphumelelayo:

• ### Nika umntwana wakho ixesha lokuqhelana nomntu omtsha.

Ngaba kuza umnakekeli/umgcini-mntwana omtsha ekhayeni lakho? Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe izintambo ngoko nangoko, vumela umntwana wakho aqhele ukuba khona kwakhe. Chitha usuku okanye ezimbini nani nobathathu (wena, umntwana, kunye nomtsha). Dlalani. Ngale ndlela, nokuba ningekho okwethutyana, umntwana wakho uya kuziva ekhululekile xa ekunye nomntu omtsha.

• ### Zama ukwenza ukubhukisha okuncinci 'kovavanyo'

Endaweni yokushiya umntwana wakho eyedwa imini yonke, zama ukumshiya ixesha elifutshane, njengeyure enye okanye ezimbini ekuqaleni. Nokuba awunandawo yokuya, sebenzisa elo xesha ukuze wenze into ethile. Eli lithuba elihle lokuzinyamekela nawe! Likwanceda umntwana wakho ukuba aqhele ukuhlala yedwa.

• ### Yenza inkqubo eqhelekileyo kwaye uyiqhele.

Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba uza kuphinda umbone nini, kwaye ucacise kangangoko unako ngaloo nto. Okukhona umntwana wakho enokukholosa ngakumbi ukuba uza kubuya xa uthe uza kubuya, kokukhona kuya kuba lula ukuba amkele indlela yokuvalelisa. Kukwanceda ukuthetha ngolwimi umntwana wakho aluqondayo. Basenokungaliqondi ixesha elikwiwotshi, kodwa baya kuqonda izinto ezinje, "Umama uza kuza emva kokuba uvukile ebhedini," okanye "Utata uza kuza emva kokuba sigqibile ukudlala ngokuhlwa." Ukuthetha ngqo nomntwana wakho malunga nezicwangciso zakho kuya kunceda umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba ukwahlukana kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ayiyonto yokoyika.

• ### Gcina ukuvalelisa kube mfutshane kwaye kube nobuhlobo kangangoko.

Xa usithi ndlela-ntle kumntwana wakho, yenza oko ngokukhawuleza nangovuyo . Mmange ixesha elide, ungabukeki ulusizi, uncume, uze uthi, "Ndiza kubuya kungekudala, nyana/ntombi." Ukuba uxhalabile, umntwana wakho usenokuba noloyiko ngakumbi. Indlela yakho yokuzola nokuzithemba iya kunceda umntwana wakho azive ngendlela efanayo.

Okokugqibela, umyalezo obaluleke kakhulu kubazali

Ukubona umntwana wakho edakumbile kwaye exhalabile ngaphandle kwakho kunokuba nzima kakhulu. Kunzima nangakumbi xa ucinga ukuba kungenxa yakho. Khumbula ezi zinto malunga nokuxhalaba kokwahlukana:

Asikuko oku okubangela ingxaki. Ukulila nokubambelela zizinto eziqhelekileyo kwiintsana nabantwana abancinci. Musa ukuziva unetyala ngokuya emsebenzini okanye ukuya kwindlu yangasese okwethutyana. Umntwana wakho uza kuzola ngexesha elifutshane, kwaye kungekudala uza kuqhela ukuba khona kwakho.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntwana wakho ukwiminyaka yokuqala yabantwana abancinci (okanye ngaphezulu) kwaye uhlala ejongene noxinzelelo olukhulu xa ehlukene nawe, thetha nogqirha wezingane. Oku kungaba luphawu lweSeparation Anxiety Disorder, olunokunyangeka. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ujongane nezi zinto wedwa, ngoko ke fumana uncedo.

Usana , Ukwahlukana, Ixhala, Abantwana, Impilo Yengqondo, Abazali, Indlela Yokuziphatha