Esikhathini esidlule, uma sicabanga “ngobaba,” sicabanga ngomlingiswa onakekela umndeni, oqinile kancane, futhi oqhelelene nezingane, akunjalo? Kodwa namuhla, lesi sithombe sishintshe kakhulu. Indlela ubaba abonisa ngayo imithwalo yakhe yemfanelo nothando lwakhe ishintshile. Namuhla, sikhuluma ngalesi simo sikababa esishintshayo. Mhlawumbe le ndaba ingaba yindaba yakho nawe.
Ukushintsha kwezindlela zomndeni kanye nobaba abangabodwa
Ake sicabange ngendoda egama layo linguKamal. Eminyakeni embalwa edlule, uKamal nomkakhe babexoxa ngesehlukaniso lapho elahlekelwa umkakhe ngokungazelelwe ngenxa yokuhlaselwa yinhliziyo. Ngobusuku obubodwa, uKamal wasala ebhekene nenselele enkulu kunazo zonke empilweni yakhe eyedwa. Lokho kwakuwukukhulisa indodakazi yakhe eneminyaka eyi-12 ubudala.
Kukhona obaba abangabodwa abaningi njengoKamal emphakathini namuhla kunanini ngaphambili. Kukhona nezinhlobo eziningi ezahlukene zobaba namuhla, okuhlanganisa obaba abahlukanisile, obaba abadala, kanye nobaba abamukela izingane. Lokhu kusho ukuthi umqondo "wobaba" usubanzi kakhulu manje.
UKamal waqaphela ukuthi ubaba ongayedwa angakhulisa ingane ngempumelelo, njengomndeni onabazali ababili. Kodwa luhambo olugcwele izinselele. Njengoba uKamal esho, "Ukuba ubaba ongayedwa kunzima kunokuba umama ongayedwa. Ngoba umphakathi ubheka umama ongayedwa njengento evamile. Kodwa uma ubheka ubaba ongayedwa, abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi, 'Ingane kufanele ibe nonina.'"
Njengabobaba abaningi abangabodwa, uKamal wathatha umthwalo wakhe wemfanelo ngokungathi sína. Washiya umsebenzi wakhe embonini yomshuwalense waqala ukusebenza ekhaya. Wayefuna ukusiza ngomsebenzi wesikole wendodakazi yakhe, ukupheka ukudla, nokuchitha isikhathi nayo. Uthi imfihlo yempumelelo yakhe ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nengane yakhe. “Kodwa indodakazi yami yayilokhu yazi ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sikhuluma ngani, isinqumo sokugcina sasingesami njengomzali,” kusho uKamal.
Uthando lukababa lunamandla njengothando lukamama.
Esikweni lethu, sivame ukucabanga ukuthi umama ngumuntu ongakwazi ukunakekela ingane futhi ayinike uthando. Kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngempela? Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ukujula kothando ubaba aluzwayo ngezingane zakhe kungaphansi kolomama.
Eqinisweni, njengoba odokotela bezifo zengqondo besho, "Obaba bayinsiza enkulu kunazo zonke ekuphileni kwezingane esingakayisebenzisi ngokugcwele." Ngoba ngisho nomntwana omncane uzalwa ekulungele ukusondelana nonina noyise.
Obaba abangabodwa bangabhekana nenselele encane lapho bekhulisa indodakazi yabo bodwa. Ikakhulukazi njengoba indodakazi ifinyelela ebusheni, ingadinga isibonelo sowesifazane sokukhuluma nayo nokwabelana ngezinkinga zayo nayo. Izazi zengqondo ziyeluleka, “Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukubandakanya abantu besifazane abangaba yizibonelo ezinhle empilweni yengane.” Lokhu kungaba u-anti, ugogo, noma umngane womndeni oseduze.
| Ubaba wesimanje | Izici ezikhethekile namaphuzu aphawulekayo |
|---|---|
| Ubaba Ongayedwa | Yakha ubuhlobo obuqinile kakhulu nengane yakho. Kuyinselele ukuthwala yonke imithwalo yemfanelo yengane wedwa. Uma kuyindodakazi, kubalulekile ukwethula izibonelo ezinhle zabesifazane empilweni yayo. |
| Ubaba Omdala | Ukuzinza ngokwezimali nangokomsebenzi kukuvumela ukuthi unike ingane yakho ukunaka okwengeziwe nesikhathi. Ukulahlekelwa amandla okudlala nezingane zakho noma ukugijima kungaba yinselele. |
| Ubaba ohlukanisile | Njengoba isikhathi nomntwana singase silinganiselwe, kubalulekile ukusisebenzisa kahle leso sikhathi. Kubalulekile ukugwema ukusola owayengumfazi phambi komntwana nokunikeza ingane uthando lwenu nobabili. |
Amanye amathiphu okuba ubaba ongcono
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungubaba osemusha, ubaba osekhulile, noma umzali ongayedwa, izimiso eziyisisekelo ongazilandela ukuze ube ubaba omuhle ziyafana kuwo wonke umuntu.
1. Zithethelele ngamaphutha.
Izazi zengqondo zithi, “Ungazami ukuba ngumzali ophelele. Ngoba abekho abazali abaphelele kuleli zwe.” Yiba ngubaba ongcono kakhulu ongaba nguye. Uma wenza amaphutha futhi ubona ukuthi ufunda kulawo maphutha, izingane zakho zifunda ukuthi kulungile ukwenza amaphutha nokungapheleli. Leso yisipho esibaluleke kakhulu ongasinika ingane.
2. Inganekwane 'Yesikhathi Esifanele'
"Sicabanga ukuthi uma ubuya ekhaya uvela osukwini olunzima emsebenzini bese ukhipha izingane zakho uyodla i-pizza kanye ne-movie ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku, leso 'yisikhathi esihle.'" Kodwa empeleni, ucwaningo lwezingane lubonise ukuthi izingane zifuna ubaba ongacindezelekile kakhulu futhi ongacindezelekile kakhulu . Zifuna ukukhululeka ezinkingeni zomsebenzi futhi "zichithe isikhathi" noyise, okungukuthi, zichithe isikhathi ngokuthula.
3. Kunezinto eziningi onganikela ngazo kunemali.
Obaba abaningi bacabanga ukuthi ububaba babo bulinganiswa ngokuthi bayenzela malini umndeni. Lokho kubalulekile. Kodwa izingane zakho zilindele okwengeziwe kuwe. Zibuze le mibuzo:
- "Ingabe ngifuna ukudlulisela izindinganiso zami enganeni yami?"
- "Ingabe ngifuna ukufundisa ingane yami indlela yokusebenzisa ikhompyutha ngendlela engithanda ngayo?"
- "Ngifuna ingane yami ifunde ukuthanda kimi?"
Lezi zinto zibiza imali ephindwe kayinkulungwane.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Indima kababa ishintshile namuhla. Yamukela leyo ndima entsha ngothando. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungubaba ongayedwa noma ubaba ohlukanisile, ungaba ubaba ongcono kakhulu ongaba nguye.
- Uthando lukababa lunamandla njengothando lukamama futhi lubalulekile ekukhuleni kwengane.
- Ungazami ukuba ubaba ophelele. Ukwenza amaphutha kuyinto evamile. Into ebalulekile ukufunda kulawo maphutha.
- Okudingwa yingane yakho ubaba ongenazo izinkinga zokucindezeleka, ozolile, futhi ochitha isikhathi nayo nje, kunokuba abe nezipho ezibizayo noma 'isikhathi esihle'.
- Ngaphandle kwemali, nikeza ingane yakho izindinganiso zakho, uthando lwakho, nesikhathi sakho. Leso yisipho esibaluleke kakhulu ongayinika sona.
- Khuluma njalo nengane yakho. Lokho kuxhumana kuyisisekelo sobuhlobo bomndeni obuqinile.
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