Ingabe ingane yakho ihlushwa yinto ebuhlungu? (Ukulimala Kwengane) Ake sixoxe ngalokhu!

Njengabazali, sihlala sizama ukuvikela izingane zethu kukho konke. Kodwa, ngeshwa, ngezinye izikhathi izingane zethu ezincane zibhekana nezinto ezingalindelekile. Lezi zinto zingazibangela ubuhlungu obukhulu nokucindezeleka.

Kuyini Ukuhlukumezeka?

Kalula nje, ukuhlukumezeka yinoma yisiphi isenzakalo esithinta kakhulu ingane, siyenze izwe isaba kakhulu, noma siyibangele ukulimala. Cabanga ngakho, kungaba ubudlova basekhaya obukhulu, noma ingozi enkulu, noma inhlekelele yemvelo engazelelwe (njengesikhukhula, ukudilika komhlaba). Ngezinye izikhathi ukulahlekelwa yikhaya lakho nokuba yintandane, ukulahlekelwa umzali, noma ukugula okungathi sína nakho kungaba ukuhlukumezeka enganeni. Lezi zinhlobo zezehlakalo zimbi kakhulu. Ngoba ngalesi sikhathi, ingane ingase izwe sengathi impilo yayo isengozini, ukuthi ayiphephile .

Ukuhlukumezeka kuyithinta kanjani ingane?

Uma kwenzeka into efana nale, umthelela wengqondo ngezinye izikhathi ungahlala isikhathi eside. Kungaba nzima ukululama kuwo. Kwabanye abantwana, lesi simo singaholela ngisho nasesimeni esibizwa ngokuthi i-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) .

Kodwa into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi izingane zingalulama ezimweni ezinjalo ezibuhlungu. Kunezindlela zokwelapha ezingasiza. Futhi, uthando olwengeziwe, uthando, kanye nokusekelwa kwakho njengomzali kungaba usizo kakhulu kuzo ngalesi sikhathi.

Manje ake sibone ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuhlukumezeka luthinta kanjani ingane.

Izinto ezizwakalayo engqondweni

Ngemva kokuhlukumezeka, umuzwa wokuphepha nokwethenjwa kwengane ungonakala kakhulu. Ngisho noma sekudlule isikhathi eside, ingase isabe futhi ishaqeke. Abanye bangase bazizwe benesizungu, bedabukile, bethukuthele, noma benecala. Bangase bacabange nokuthi , "Leli yiphutha lami." Abanye abantwana bangase bazizwe sengathi ukuzethemba kwabo nokuzihlonipha kuyabhujiswa. Abanye bangase babe nosizi olujulile nolungabekezeleleki.

Izinguquko zokuziphatha kanye nezinye

Ukuhlukumezeka kungathinta nesimo sengqondo sengane, ukuziphatha kwayo, noma ukulala kwayo . Ezinye izingane zingase zicasuke kakhulu futhi zivame ukuba lusizi, isimo esibizwa ngokuthi ukucindezeleka . Zingase zibe namathuba amaningi okubuza imibuzo kunangaphambili, futhi zingase zingabi namathuba amaningi okwenza kahle esikoleni. Zingase zibe nokwesaba okusha, futhi zingase zibe nenkinga yokulala ebusuku. Ezinye izingane zingase zibe nezinkumbulo eziphindaphindayo nezicindezelayo zesigameko ezabhekana naso. Siphinde sizibize ngokuthi lezi yizinkumbulo zesikhathi esidlule . Ngokuvamile, izingane zizama ukugwema izinto ezizikhumbuza ngokwenzekile kuzo.

Kungani abanye abantwana bengakhulumi ngalokhu?

Ngemva kwesenzakalo esibuhlungu, ezinye izingane zabelana ngemizwa yazo nabanye. Kodwa-ke, ezinye zigcina konke ngaphakathi. Zingase zizame ukufihla imizwa yazo noma ziyicindezele. Zingase zicabange , 'Abanye balindele ukuthi ngisheshe ngidlule kulokhu.' Abanye abantu abazi ukuthi bangayiveza kanjani imizwa yabo ngamazwi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isizathu, njengomzali, ungase ungaqondi ukuthi ingane yakho ibhekene nani.

Indlela ukwelashwa okungakusiza ngayo ukuthi ululame

Kulungile, ake sibone ukuthi ingane ithola luphi usizo ekwelashweni ngesikhathi esinjengalesi.

Lokho okutholayo ekwelashweni

Ukwelapha kuyindlela enhle yokuthi izingane zikwazi ukwabelana ngemizwa yazo ngokuphephile, zixoxe izindaba zazo, futhi zithole ukwesekwa ezikudingayo. Ekwelapheni, izingane zifunda ukukhuluma ngalokho ezidlule kukho. Zifunda amakhono okubhekana nezimo kanye namakhono okuzola azisiza ukuba zihlale ziqinile engqondweni. Zifunda nokushintsha indlela ezicabanga futhi zizizwe ngayo ngalesi sigameko esibuhlungu. Kancane kancane, ziqala ukubhekana nezinto ezazizigwema ngaphambilini. Ukwelapha kusiza izingane zithole isibindi sazo futhi zakhe ukuzethemba.

Cabanga ngalokhu: Ukwelapha kufana nokufaka umuthi engxenyeni yenhliziyo yengane elimele, uyiphulukise, bese uyisiza ukuthi ivuke futhi isebenze futhi.

Ake sifunde nge-Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

Kukhona indlela ethile yokwelapha ukuhlukumezeka ezinganeni ebizwa ngokuthi i-Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) . Lokhu kuhilela ukukhuluma, ukudlala, kanye nemisebenzi yokufunda ukusiza ingane ukucubungula ukuhlukumezeka.

Le ndlela yokwelapha ye-TF-CBT iwusizo kakhulu nakubazali. Eqinisweni, kungokwemvelo kakhulu ngabazali ukuzizwa bedabukile futhi bephatheke kabi ngalokho ingane yabo eye yadlula kukho. Ngesikhathi sokwelashwa, abazali bathola nokusekelwa okudingekayo. Bathola iseluleko sokuthi bangasiza kanjani ingane yabo ekhaya.

Ku -TF-CBT , abazali bangadlala indima enkulu ekululameni kwengane yabo. Uqeqeshwe ukulalela ngendlela esiza ingane yakho ukuthi ikhulume ngalokho ekucabangayo, inciphise imithwalo yayo, futhi ixhumane nawe. Ungasiza ingane yakho ukuzijwayeza amakhono okubhekana nesimo ekhaya. Njengoba ingane yakho ilulama kancane kancane, ungahlanganyela enjabulweni.

Ungayithola kanjani indlela yokwelapha?

Manje ungase uzibuze, 'Ngingaluthola kanjani lolu hlobo lokwelapha ingane yami?' Akunzima kangako.

• Okokuqala, udokotela wezingane wengane yakhoKhuluma nodokotela wakho. Mtshele ngalokho ingane yakho ebibhekene nakho. Khumbula, udokotela ukhathazekile ngempilo yomzimba yengane yakho kanye nempilo yayo yengqondo.
• Cela udokotela wakho ukuthi akuthumele kudokotela wezifo zengqondo wezingane , isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo , noma umeluleki ofanelekayo oqeqeshwe kule ndawo futhi ongasiza ingane yakho.
• Kungase kudingeke ukuthi uyise ingane yakho ekwelashweni kanye ngesonto izinyanga ezimbalwa, kodwa kancane kancane uzobona izinguquko ezinhle enganeni yakho.

Ungamsiza kanjani umntwana wakho ekhaya

Ngemva kokuhlukumezeka, izingane zidinga ukwesekwa kwakho nothando lwakho kunanini ngaphambili. Qiniseka ukuthi ucabanga ngalezi zinto:

• Chitha isikhathi nomntanakho: Yenzani izinto ndawonye ezizolile, eziphumuzayo, noma ezijabulisayo. Phekani ndawonye, ​​​​hambani niyohamba, nidlale, nifunde izincwadi, nidwebe, nihlabelele izingoma. Uma kungenzeka, beka eceleni isikhathi salokhu nsuku zonke, okungenani imizuzu embalwa. Cabanga ngokuthi kungaba usizo kangakanani ukuchitha isikhathi esincane wakha indlu nendodana yakho encane ntambama, noma ukufunda indaba encane nendodakazi yakho encane ngaphambi kokulala ebusuku.
• Yiba nesineke futhi ufudumale: Sebenzisa amazwi anomusa. Ncoma ingane yakho uma yenza okuthile okuhle noma yenza umzamo. Yithi, " Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe, ndodana/ndodakazi ." Yiba nesineke lapho ingane yakho yenza iphutha. Babonise ukuthi bangazama kanjani futhi.
• Bonisa uthando: Vumela ingane yakho izwe uthando lwakho. Mgone, umomotheke, usho amazwi othando, ubonise ngezenzo zokunakekela. Mduduze ngamazwi aduduzayo lapho edabukile noma ecasukile.
• Yenza isimiso sokuzola: Kumntwana omncane, zinike imizuzu embalwa ufunde indaba, uyibambe, noma uhlabelele ingoma encane ngaphambi kokulala (noma nganoma yisiphi isikhathi emini). Kumntwana omdala, kwenze umkhuba ukumgona bese uthi 'ulala kahle' ngaphambi kokulala, bese uchitha imizuzu embalwa ukhuluma naye, ulalele lokho akushoyo, noma uhleka ndawonye. Le mizuzu eyengeziwe nawe ingasiza kakhulu ekusizeni ingane yakho ukuthi izizwe izolile, iphephile, futhi ikhululekile .

Ungase ucabange, "O... lezi yizinto ezincane esivame ukuzenza." Kodwa, ukunikeza ingane yakho ukwesekwa okwengeziwe nesikhathi esinjengalesi kuzosiza ingane yakho izwe uthando lwakho kanye nobudlelwano obuseduze onayo nayo. Ngemva kwesipiliyoni esibuhlungu, lokho kusondelana kubaluleke kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili.

Okokugcina, izinto okufanele uzikhumbule

Kulungile, ngakho-ke kusukela kulokho esikhulume ngakho, cishe kuyacaca kuwe ukuthi ingane ibhekana nobunzima obungakanani obungathinta izingqondo zayo ezincane. Kodwa, into ebaluleke kakhulu yile:

• Ukulimala kuyinto enkulu, kodwa izingane zingalulama. Ungalilahli ithemba.
• Ukwelashwa okufanele, ikakhulukazi izindlela ezifana ne-TF-CBT, kungaba usizo kakhulu. Ngakho-ke ungesabi ukufuna iseluleko sezokwelapha.
• Njengomzali, uthando lwakho, ukubekezela kwakho, kanye nokusekela kwakho kubalulekile ohambweni lokuphulukiswa kwengane yakho. Ungumthombo wamandla amakhulu wengane yakho.
• Izinto ezincane zingenza umehluko omkhulu. Ukuchitha isikhathi nomntanakho, ukumhlonipha, ukumphatha ngothando - konke lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu.

Khumbula, awuwedwa. Kukhona ochwepheshe abangakusiza futhi bakuqondise kulolu hambo. Futhi, ingane yakho ethandekayo ingadlula kulesi sikhathi esinzima futhi ijabule futhi.

Ukulimala ebuntwaneni , impilo yengqondo, i-PTSD, i-TF-CBT, ukwesekwa kwabazali, ukuphulukiswa kwezingane, ukwelashwa kwengqondo