Ingabe nawe ulinde ukuthi umzimba wakho uqale ukushintsha? (Ukuthomba) Ake sixoxe ngalokhu!

Inkinga enkulu kubantu abaningi abangontanga yakho, mhlawumbe into ekukhathaza kakhulu, yilapho lezi zinguquko zomzimba ziqala khona, okungukuthi, lapho siba yizingane ezinkulu, noma ngokwezokwelapha, lapho kuqala ukuthomba. Ngezinye izikhathi lapho abangane bakho beqala lezi zinguquko ngaphambi kwakho, ungase ucabange, "O, kungani lokhu kungenzeki kimi ngedwa? Ingabe kukhona okungahambi kahle ngami?" Kodwa ungesabi noma ukhathazeke nhlobo. Ake sixoxe ngalokhu namuhla, ngokucacile njengokungathi ukhuluma nomngane wakho omkhulu. Kulungile?

Kungani lezi zinguquko zingenzeki kuwo wonke umuntu ngesikhathi esisodwa?

Lokhu kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu. Akubona bonke abantu abafanayo. Cabanga ngakho, noma ngabe utshala uhlobo olufanayo lwembali engadini efanayo, ezinye zizoqhakaza kahle ngaphambi kwezinye, kanti ezinye zizoqhakaza kamuva. Kodwa ekugcineni, zonke izitshalo zizoqhakaza, akunjalo? Yilokho esiyikho. Isakhiwo somzimba womuntu wonke kanye nesikhathi sewashi ngaphakathi kwemizimba yabo kuhlukile kancane. Ngakho-ke, isikhathi lapho ufinyelela "ekuthombeni" singase sibe ngaphambi noma kamuva kunomngane wakho. Lokhu kuvamile kakhulu. Esikhathini esiningi, lezi yizinto okhuluma ngazo phakathi kwakho kule minyaka. Uma ungumfana, ungase uzizwe udangele bese uthi, "O, izwi lakhe lishintshile, intshebe yakhe ayikhulanga kahle, futhi ngisazwakala njengengane." Uma uyintombazane, ungase uzizwe udangele futhi unamahloni, "O, amabele abanye abantu akhulile, kungani ngingedwa nje sekwephuzile kangaka?" Kodwa lokhu akuyona indaba yokukhathazeka noma ihlazo . Khumbula ukuthi iwashi lomzimba lomuntu wonke lisebenza ngendlela ehlukile kancane.

Ukuthomba Kwamantombazane

Uma intombazane idlula esikhathini sokuthomba, ushintsho lokuqala nolukhulu elubonayo ukukhula kwamabele. Ake sibheke lokho kuqala.

Kuqala nini ukukhula kwebele?

Ngokuvamile, amantombazane amaningi aqala ukuhluma amabele cishe eneminyaka eyi-10 noma eyi-11. Lokhu kusho ukuthi aqala ukuzizwa njengeqhubu elincane esifubeni, elikhula kancane kancane. Kodwa lokhu akwenzeki eminyakeni efanayo kuwo wonke umuntu. Amanye amantombazane angaqala lolu shintsho eneminyaka eyi-7 ubudala. Kwabanye, kungaba sekwephuzile eminyakeni eyi-13 ubudala. Kujwayelekile ukuthi amabele aqale ukuhluma nganoma yisiphi isikhathi phakathi kwalezi zigaba ezimbili zeminyaka.

Ngakho ungakhathazeki ngokuthi umngane wakho omkhulu uzokhula amabele ngaphambi kwakho, kulungile? Iwashi lakhe lomzimba cishe lishesha kancane kunelakho. Yilokho kuphela.

Isikhathi Sokuqala Sokuya Esikhathini

Esinye isenzakalo esibalulekile empilweni yentombazane yisikhathi sayo sokuqala sokuya esikhathini. Ngokuvamile lokhu sikubiza ngokuthi "ukuthola isikhathi sayo sokuya esikhathini." Ngakho-ke, lesi sikhathi (isikhathi sokuya esikhathini) sivame ukuqala cishe eminyakeni emi-2 noma emi-2 1/2 ngemva kokuba amabele eqale ukukhula.Akukho mthetho wokuthi lokhu kufanele kwenzeke ngesikhathi esifanayo. Kwabanye abantu, kungase kube kusenesikhathi, kwabanye kungase kube sekwephuzile. Nalokhu kuyahlukahluka kumuntu nomuntu, futhi kuyinto evamile kakhulu. Kunezinye izinguquko eziningi ezenzeka emzimbeni phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Izinto ezifana nokukhula kwenqulu, futhi mhlawumbe izinduna ziqala ukuvela.

Ukuthomba Kwabafana

Kulungile, manje ake sibheke ukuthi kwenzekani kubafana. Iminyaka evamile yabafana yokuqala ukubhekana nalezi zinguquko ineminyaka eyi-10 noma eyi-11 ubudala . Kodwa uma sikhuluma iqiniso, kuvamile ukuthi lezi zimpawu zokuthomba ziqale noma nini phakathi kweminyaka eyi-9 neyi-15. Ngakho-ke ziyini lezi zinguquko?

• Ukuhosha kwezwi : Izwi elithambile nelincane lobuntwana liyashintsha, bese kuqala ukuvela izwi lowesilisa elijulile kancane, elihoshayo. Ngezinye izikhathi izwi lingase likhuphuke kakhulu ngokuzumayo, okuyinto evamile phakathi nalesi sikhathi.
• Ukukhula kwezinwele zentshebe nomzimba: Amadevu aqala ukukhula kuqala, kulandele amakhwapha. Izinwele nazo ziqala ukukhula emakhwapheni, esifubeni nasezindaweni zangasese (ezizungeze izitho zangasese).
• Ukukhula kwezitho zobulili : Amasende kanye nepenisi kukhula ngobukhulu. Lokhu futhi kuyisibonakaliso esibalulekile sokuthomba.
• Ukukhula kwemisipha nokukhula kobude: Imisipha emzimbeni iba mikhulu kancane, iqine, amahlombe aba banzi, futhi kufinyelelwa ukubukeka njengowesilisa. Futhi, phakathi nalesi sikhathi, ukuphakama kuqala ukwanda ngokuzumayo.

Konke lokhu akwenzeki ngobusuku obubodwa, konke ngesikhathi esisodwa. Lezi zinguquko zizophela kancane kancane, mhlawumbe eminyakeni embalwa. Ngakho-ke, ungakhathazeki uma omunye umngane wakho olingana nawe ebonakala "emdala" kancane kunawe. Izinguquko zabo kungenzeka ukuthi ziqale kusenesikhathi. Konke kuzolunga uma isikhathi sakho sifika.

Ayikho indlela yokukhula "ngokushesha"?

Ngiyazi ukuthi lokhu kuyinkinga abaningi kini abanayo. Ungase ucabange, "O, ayikho ikhambi lokukhula ngokushesha, ukuze ufane nabanye abantu?" Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi, akukho ongakwenza ukusheshisa lezi zinguquko zemvelo emzimbeni wakho. Ukudla ukudla okulinganiselayo, ukuzivocavoca nsuku zonke, nokulala kahle ebusuku konke kuhle empilweni yakho iyonke. Kufanele nakanjani uzenze lezo zinto. Kodwa akukho neyodwa yalezo zinto ezosheshisa inqubo yemvelo yokuthomba.

Ukudla okukhethekile (isib., abanye abantu bathi 'uma udla lokhu, intshebe yakho izokhula ngokushesha'), amavithamini ngamanye (Izithasiselo Zokudla), kanye nama-lotion akhethekile omzimbaAma-cream awakwazi ukusheshisa le nqubo yemvelo. Kuyize ngempela ukuchitha imali ezintweni ezinjalo.

Umzimba wakho uzoqala lezi zinguquko ngesikhathi sawo, ngejubane lawo. Themba. Vumela.

Kufanele simbone nini udokotela?

Sisanda kukhuluma ngezigaba zeminyaka lapho lezi zinguquko zivame ukuqala khona. Esikhathini esiningi, uma ungaphakathi kwalezi zigaba ezijwayelekile, akukho okufanele ukhathazeke ngakho. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ungase uzizwe usola kancane, njengokuthi, "Kungani sekwephuzile kangaka kimi?" Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, kuwumqondo omuhle ukubona udokotela bese uthola iseluleko. Esimweni esinjalo, kufanele nakanjani ubone udokotela bese ukhuluma ngesimo sakho:

• Uma uyintombazane, uneminyaka engu-13 ubudala futhi amabele akho awakaqali ukukhula, noma awukayi esikhathini sakho sokuqala.
• Uma ungumfana, uma uneminyaka eyi-15 ubudala kodwa ungabonisi zimpawu zokuthomba (isibonelo, ukushintsha kwezwi, ukukhula kwentshebe noma izinwele, noma ukukhula kwezitho zobulili).
• Ngisho noma usemncane kunale minyaka, uma unokwesaba okukhulu, ukukhathazeka, nokungabaza ngalezi zinguquko emzimbeni wakho, okungukuthi, uma uhlala uzizwa sengathi "Angazi ukuthi kukhona yini okungahambi kahle ngami."

Ukubona udokotela akusho ukuthi unesifo esibucayi, uyaqonda? Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uhlolwe nje, wazi ukuthi konke kuzolunga, futhi ususe ukwesaba nokungabaza okungadingekile . Udokotela angakutshela ngokuqinisekile ukuthi konke kuzolunga yini, noma uma udinga ukwenza ezinye izivivinyo.

Izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okudingeka uzikhumbule

Kulungile, ngakho-ke ekugcineni ake sikukhumbuze ezinye zezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okudingeka uzithathe kulokho esikhulume ngakho. Lezi "Umyalezo Wakho Wokuya Ekhaya."

• Wonke umuntu uhlukile, futhi wena ukhethekile: Kujwayelekile ukuthi wena nabangani bakho nibe nomehluko kulezi zinguquko zomzimba. Akukho okungajwayelekile noma okungalungile ngomuntu okhule kakhulu kusenesikhathi kanti omunye ukhule kancane. Muhle ngendlela onjalo.
• Lokhu akusikho ukuncintisana: ungenzi impilo ibe umncintiswano wokuthi ubani okhula kuqala, ubani okhulisa intshebe kuqala, ubani othola isikhathi sakhe sokuqala. Wonke umuntu unohambo lwakhe oluhlukile emzimbeni wakhe, vumela lolo hambo luqhubeke nendlela yalo.
• Ukubekezela kuyimithi engcono kakhulu: Kuthatha isikhathi ukuthi lezi zinguquko ezinkulu emzimbeni wakho zihlale zizinzile. Akwenzeki ngobusuku obubodwa. Ngakho-ke kufanele ubekezele.
• Kubalulekile ukuhlala uphilile: udle ukudla okunempilo, uvivinye umzimba emini, futhi ulale kahle ebusuku. Lezi zinto zizosiza impilo yakho iyonke futhi zisize lezi zinguquko zenzeke.
• Ungesabi, cela usizo:Uma unenkinga, umbuzo, noma ukungabaza, ungakugcini uyimfihlo. Ungesabi ukukhuluma ngakho nomuntu omdala omethembayo (umama, ubaba, uthisha, umfowenu omdala, udadewenu) noma ngisho nodokotela. Lokho kuzokusiza kakhulu.

Ekugcineni, umzimba wakho uyakuthanda. Zinike isikhathi osidingayo ukuze wenze lezo zinguquko. Ukufanele njengoba unjalo, futhi uyamangalisa!

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Ukuthomba, izinguquko zomzimba, amantombazane, abafana, ukukhula, ubusha