Ka Hoʻi Hou ʻana o ka Trauma i ka Hāpai ʻana... E kamaʻilio kākou e pili ana i kēia?

He kumuhana koʻikoʻi kēia, akā he mea ia e pono ai kākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana. ʻO ka hāpai ʻana kekahi o nā manawa nani loa i ke ola o nā wāhine he nui. Akā no kekahi mau wāhine, ʻaʻole kēia manawa hauʻoli e like me kā lākou e manaʻo nei. Akā, hiki iā lākou ke manaʻo i ka makaʻu, ka hopohopo, a me ka ʻeha i loko o kēia manawa. ʻO kekahi o nā kumu nui o kēia he ʻike ʻeha a lākou i ʻike ai i ko lākou wā kamaliʻi a ʻōpio paha, e like me ka hana ʻino moekolohe.

I ka loli ʻana o kou kino i ka wā hāpai, loli nā hormones, a hoʻomākaukau ʻoe no ka hānau keiki ʻana, hiki i kēlā mau hoʻomanaʻo i hoʻopaʻa ʻia mai ka wā i hala ke hoʻi hou mai i luna. Ua like ia me ka wehe hou ʻana i kahi ʻeha kahiko. Akā ʻo ka mea nui loa āu e pono ai e ʻike, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e kū hoʻokahi i kēia a aia nā ala e hele ai ma o kēia.

Pehea e pili ai nā aka pouli o ka wā i hala i kēia manawa

Hiki i kēlā ʻano ʻike ʻeha i ka wā kamaliʻi ke hoʻopilikia i ke ola holoʻokoʻa o ka wahine, ʻoiai ma ke ʻano o kona loaʻa ʻana o ka mālama ola kino. Wahi a nā kauka hānau keiki a me nā kauka wahine e noiʻi ana i kēia, makaʻu kekahi mau wahine i loaʻa i kēlā mau ʻike e kipa aku i kahi kauka wahine. ʻO kēia no ka mea, hoʻomanaʻo nā mea e like me ka hoʻokolokolo ʻana o ka vagina iā lākou i ka ʻike ʻeha kahiko.

Manaʻo kekahi mau wāhine ua mae lākou i ka wā o kēia hoʻāʻo, me he mea lā ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike i kekahi mea. ʻO ia ko lākou ala e hoʻāʻo ai e 'hoʻokaʻawale' i ka noʻonoʻo mai ka manawa. No kekahi poʻe, hoʻi mai ka hanana kahiko iā lākou e like me ke kiʻiʻoniʻoni. Kāhea mākou i kēia he "flashbacks." I kēlā manawa, hiki iā lākou ke uē koke, e peʻe i ka makaʻu, a i ʻole e lilo i mea kolohe.

Ma muli o kēia mau ʻike, makaʻu kekahi mau wāhine i ka pilina me nā kāne, a hiki i ka male ʻana. ʻOiai inā ua hauʻoli lākou i ka male ʻana, hopohopo paha lākou a makaʻu paha i ka moe kolohe. Hilahila a hoʻopailua lākou i ko lākou kino ponoʻī.

ʻO ka hāpai ʻana anei ka pilikia nui loa?

E noʻonoʻo i ke ʻano o ka hāpai ʻana o kekahi mea i loaʻa i kēia. I ka ulu ʻana o ka ʻōpū a me ka loli ʻana o nā hormones, hoʻomaka kēlā mau hoʻomanaʻo kahiko e hoʻopilikia iā ʻoe i kēlā me kēia lā. Manaʻo paha ʻoe ʻaʻohe ou mana, manaʻo paha ʻoe i ke kaumaha, a manaʻo paha ʻoe i ka palekana ʻole. ʻAʻole makemake kekahi poʻe e ʻike kekahi poʻe ua hāpai lākou, no laila hoʻāʻo lākou e hūnā iā ia ma ke komo ʻana i nā lole nui a palupalu.

Hiki i nā pilina moekolohe me kā lākou mau kāne ke paʻakikī loa i kēia manawa. ʻO ka manaʻo o kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe e 'ulu' ana i loko o ka ʻōpū a me ka moekolohe ʻana he mea paʻakikī iā lākou ke hoʻomanawanui. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hiki i kēia mau manaʻo ke lilo i mea maʻamau i nā wahine hāpai i hana ʻino ʻole ʻia. Akā no kekahi me kahi ʻeha i hala, ua nui loa kēia mau manaʻo e hiki ke hoʻomanawanui.

Hiki i kēia kūlana (PTSD) ke hoʻoulu i kekahi mau wahine e ʻike i ka nausea nui a me ka luaʻi ʻana i ka wā hāpai. Hiki iā ia ke hoʻomaka i ka ʻōpū e hoʻopaʻa i nā hebedoma a i ʻole nā ​​​​mahina ma mua o ka lā hānau (nā ʻaelike mua).

ʻAʻole e nalo kēia makaʻu ma hope o ka hānau ʻana. ʻO nā makuahine i kū i kēlā mau ʻike, ua maʻa mau lākou i ka palekana nui ʻana i kā lākou mau kaikamahine, a inā he keikikāne kā lākou, e kānalua pono ʻole iā ia a me kā lākou mau kāne.

ʻO ka huakaʻi e loaʻa ai ka ho'ōla a me ka hōʻoluʻolu

He mea weliweli paha kēia iā ʻoe. Akā, ʻo ka nūhou maikaʻi, ʻaʻole ka hāpai ʻana he manawa e noho ai me ka makaʻu i kēia mau hoʻomanaʻo ʻeha. Nui nā ala e ho'ōla ai i kēia mau ʻeha o ka naʻau a loaʻa ka maluhia o ka noʻonoʻo.

E haʻi aku i kāu kauka i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo: ʻO kēia ka mea nui loa. E haʻi aku i kāu kauka hānau keiki e pili ana i kou wā i hala. E kōkua kēia iā lākou e hoʻomaopopo iā ʻoe. E wehewehe lākou i ka hoʻāʻo iā ʻoe ma mua o kou hana ʻana, e kiʻi i kāu ʻae, a hana ia ma ke ʻano e ʻoluʻolu ai iā ʻoe.

E ʻimi i ke aʻo ʻana: ʻO ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi kākāʻōlelo i aʻo ʻia e hiki ke kōkua i ka hoʻomāmā ʻana i kou kaumaha naʻau. He mea waiwai nui ia inā hiki iā ʻoe ke komo i kēia mau lawelawe i kou wā hāpai .

E kamaʻilio me kāu hoa: Hiki ke paʻakikī kēia. Akā, he mea nui loa ia e haʻi aku i kāu kāne e pili ana i kou mau manaʻo a me kou mau makaʻu. ʻOiai paha he mea paʻakikī iā ia ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēia i ka wā mua, ke hoʻomaopopo ʻo ia iā ʻoe, e kākoʻo nui ʻo ia. E hoʻoikaika kēia i ka pilina ma waena o ʻolua.

Nā Pūʻulu Kākoʻo: ʻO ke kamaʻilio ʻana me nā wāhine ʻē aʻe i loaʻa nā ʻike like e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka manaʻo ʻaʻole ʻoe hoʻokahi.

Eia kekahi laʻana, ke nānā aku kāu keiki liʻiliʻi iā ʻoe a minoʻaka i ka wā e hānai waiū ana, a i ka wā e pau ai ka uē ʻana o ke pēpē ke paʻa ʻoe iā ia, e ʻike ʻoe i ka ikaika a me ke aloha o kou kino. E kōkua kēlā manaʻo iā ʻoe e holoi mālie i kēlā mau aka ʻeleʻele kahiko. ʻAʻole paha ʻoe e hiki ke hoʻopoina loa i ka wā i hala, akā hiki iā ʻoe ke noho pū me ia, me ka ikaika a me ka haʻaheo.