Ke manaʻo nei hoʻi ʻoe ʻaʻole ʻoe kūpono i kēia? E kamaʻilio kākou e pili ana i ka Imposter Syndrome!

Ua manaʻo paha ʻoe, ma kahi o ka hauʻoli no kāu hoʻokō ʻana, i ka makaʻu o ka nīnau ʻana iā ʻoe iho, "Auē, kūpono maoli anei au i kēia? ʻAʻole anei au i maikaʻi e like me ka manaʻo o kekahi poʻe?" Ke loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi hoʻokiʻekiʻe ma ka hana, hala i kahi hoʻokolohua, a i ʻole e hoʻomaikaʻi ʻia ʻoe e kekahi, ke manaʻo nei ʻoe e like me kāu e ʻōlelo nei iā ʻoe iho, "ʻAʻole au i kūpono i kēia, i kekahi lā e ʻike nā mea a pau i koʻu ʻano maoli"? Ua kapa wale ʻia kēia manaʻo ʻo `(Imposter Syndrome)`.

He aha maoli ka Imposter Syndrome?

I ka ʻōlelo maʻalahi, ʻo ka 'Imposter Syndrome' ke kānalua ʻoe i kou mau hiki a me kou holomua . ʻOiai ke manaʻo nei kekahi poʻe he akamai ʻoe a hana maikaʻi i nā mea, manaʻo hohonu ʻoe ʻaʻole ʻoe akamai loa, ua like ʻoe me ka mea hoʻopunipuni. Makaʻu mau ʻoe i kekahi lā e hopu ʻia kēia wahaheʻe.

ʻOiai ʻaʻole i hoʻokaʻawale kūhelu ʻia kēia ma ke ʻano he hōʻailona olakino noʻonoʻo, hiki i kēia manaʻo ke loaʻa ka hopena koʻikoʻi i nā ʻano he nui o kou ola, me ka hana, ka hoʻonaʻauao, a me nā pilina. Ua kapa pū kekahi poʻe iā ia he 'imposter phenomenon' a i ʻole 'fraud syndrome'.

Ua like kēia me kahi pōʻaiapuni (The Imposter Cycle)

He nui ka poʻe me ka `Imposter Syndrome` e ʻike i kahi ʻano maʻamau i kā lākou ʻano, e like me ke kaʻapuni. E noʻonoʻo he hōʻike nui kāu e hāʻawi ai ma ke keʻena. Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kēia manaʻo, hoʻomaka ʻoe e hopohopo nui e pili ana i ia mea, a hoʻomaka ʻoe e hopohopo, "E hāʻule anei au?" ʻElua mau mea e hiki ke hana ma kēia kūlana:

1. Ka hoʻopaneʻe ʻana a hiki i ka minuke hope loa: Hoʻopaneʻe ʻoe me ka hoʻomaka ʻole ʻana i ka hana. A laila hoʻopau ʻoe i ka hana i ka minuke hope loa me ka nui o ke kaumaha a me ka hopohopo. ʻOiai inā ua holomua ka hana, manaʻo ʻoe, "Auē, ua laki wau i ka holo pono ʻana o kēia."

2. Hana nui loa: Hana nui ʻoe ma mua o ka mea e pono ai, i ke ao a me ka pō, e hoʻāʻo ana e hana i nā mea āpau me ka pololei. Akā ke holomua ʻoe, ʻaʻole ʻoe e lawe i ka hōʻaiʻē no ia mea . Manaʻo ʻoe, "ʻO kekahi mea akamai ma mua oʻu e hana i kēia me ka ʻole o ka hana nui."

ʻOiai kēlā me kēia ʻano, ʻaʻole e lōʻihi ka manaʻo o ka hauʻoli ma hope o kou hoʻokō ʻana i kāu pahuhopu. No ka mea, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻae i kēlā holomua e "noho." Akā, hoʻomaka ʻoe e makaʻu i ka mea nui e hiki mai ana. Hoʻomaka ʻoe e kānalua, hana nui, a hoʻopaneʻe hou paha. A pēlā e hoʻomau ai ke kaʻina hana.

ʻO wai ka mea i loaʻa i kēia manaʻo?

ʻOiaʻiʻo, hiki i kekahi ke ʻike i kēia manaʻo. I ka makahiki 1978, ua ʻike mua ʻia e ʻelua mau loea noʻonoʻo, ʻo Suzanne Imes lāua ʻo Pauline Rose Clance, i waena o nā wahine holomua kiʻekiʻe. Akā ua ʻike ʻia i kēia manawa e ka noiʻi he mea maʻamau ia i nā poʻe he nui, me ka nānā ʻole i ke kāne, ma nā ʻano ʻoihana like ʻole.

Hiki ke kū pinepine kēia manaʻo ke manaʻo ʻoe he ʻokoʻa ʻoe mai kou mau hoa a i ʻole nā ​​hoa hana. Eia kekahi laʻana, ʻo ia ka wahine e hana ana ma kahi kahua i noho aliʻi ʻia e nā kāne . He mea maʻamau nō hoʻi ia no ka poʻe e manaʻo nei he hapa liʻiliʻi lākou ma ka hoʻonaʻauao a i ʻole ka wahi hana.

Ke kānalua nei ʻoe he Imposter Syndrome kou? E nānā i kēia mau hōʻailona

No ka ʻike ʻana inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kēia manaʻo, e nānā inā he mau ʻano like kēia iā ʻoe:

• Ke manaʻo nei ʻoe ua ʻoi aku ka ʻike o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma mua ou.
• Manaʻo mau ʻaʻole ʻoe akamai e like me ka manaʻo o kekahi poʻe.
• Ke manaʻo nei ʻo kāu mau mea i hoʻokō ai ka hopena o ka "laki", "nā kānaka āu i ʻike ai", a i ʻole nā ​​​​hoʻoholo maikaʻi ʻole a haʻi.
• Manaʻo ʻoe e like me ka "imposter cycle" i ʻōlelo ʻia ma luna nei e hana hou ana iā ia iho i kou ola.
• ʻO ka makaʻu ʻaʻole ʻoe no kou wahi (ma ka hana/kula) a e ʻike ana kekahi poʻe i kekahi lā.
• Manaʻo e like me ka hana ʻia ʻana o nā mea a pau e like me ka mea hiki iā ia a i ʻole ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o ka mea i manaʻo ʻia.
• Manaʻo ʻoluʻolu ʻole ke hoʻomaikaʻi aku kekahi iā ʻoe.
• ʻO ʻoe ka mea e keakea iā ʻoe iho mai ka hoʻokō ʻana i kāu mau pahuhopu .
• Makaʻu i ka hoʻohoka ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
• ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke poina i ka hewa liʻiliʻi loa āu i hana ai a hoʻomau i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana iā ia.
• Me ka noʻonoʻo ʻana, "Inā wau i akamai, i akamai, ʻaʻole au e loaʻa i kēia mau kānalua."
• He mea nui loa iā ʻoe ka loaʻa ʻana o ka ʻāpono ʻia e haʻi.

He aha nā kumu o kēia kūlana?

Hiki i kekahi mau kumu no kēia manaʻo.

• Nā ʻano pilikino: ʻO nā ʻano e like me ka hopohopo nui, ka haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa, a me ka perfectionism e pili ana me kēia.
• Kaiapuni o ka hānai ʻana: I kekahi manawa, hiki ke ulu aʻe kēia ʻano ma ka poʻe i ulu aʻe i loko o nā ʻohana i hoʻoikaika mau i ka hoʻokō a me ka holomua. Hiki ke hana ʻia ma muli o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā leka kūʻē mai nā mākua, e like me ka hoʻomaikaʻi nui ʻana i kekahi manawa a me ka hoʻohewa ʻino i nā manawa ʻē aʻe.
• Manaʻo e like me ka malihini: No ka laʻana, inā ʻaʻole ʻoe he hoʻokūkū kūlohelohe ma kahi hana hoʻokūkū nui, hiki iā ʻoe ke manaʻo "ʻAʻole au i kūpono ma ʻaneʻi." Eia kekahi, ʻo ka manaʻo ʻokoʻa mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma muli o kou lāhui, makahiki, kāne, a i ʻole ke kūlana waiwai hiki ke alakaʻi i ka `Imposter Syndrome'.
• Pāpili Kaiapili: Ke ʻike ʻoe i nā kiʻi o ke ola "kūpono" o haʻi, ʻoi aku ka nui o kou hoʻohālikelike ʻana iā ʻoe iho me lākou a manaʻo "ʻAʻole au i lawa."

He aha ka mea hiki ke hana ʻia e pale aku ai i kēia?

He paʻakikī ke hakakā wale aku i kēia mau manaʻo hoʻopilikia, no laila he mea nui e loaʻa ke kākoʻo mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

ʻŌlelo aʻoaʻo a me ka mālama ʻana i nā maʻi lapaʻau

• Kamaʻilio Lapaʻau: ʻO ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ke kākāʻōlelo a mea hoʻoponopono paha e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i kahi i loaʻa ai kēia mau manaʻo a pehea lākou e hoʻopilikia ai i kou ola. A laila, hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo pehea e hoʻokele ai iā lākou ke piʻi mai lākou.
• ʻO ka Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): He ʻano lapaʻau kēia e aʻo iā ʻoe e ʻike i kou mau manaʻoʻiʻo maikaʻi ʻole a hoʻololi iā lākou me nā manaʻo maoli.
• Hoʻōla Hui: Hiki nō hoʻi ke kōkua i ka hui pū ʻana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i loaʻa i ka `Imposter Syndrome` like me ʻoe. ʻO ka lohe ʻana i nā ʻike o haʻi e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e emi iho ka noho mehameha. Hiki i ka kaʻana like ʻana i kou mau manaʻo ke kōkua iā ʻoe e loaʻa kahi kuanaʻike hou.

Inā ʻoe e kaumaha nei i kēia mau manaʻo, he mea nui loa ia e kamaʻilio me kāu kauka ʻohana (GP) . Hiki iā ia ke hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ke alakaʻi āu e pono ai.

Nā mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana iā ʻoe iho

• E hoʻomanaʻo i kāu mau hoʻokō: E hana i kahi papa inoa o nā mea āu i hana maikaʻi ai, nā mea āu e haʻaheo ai. E mālama i nā leka uila, nā memo, a me nā mea ʻē aʻe i loaʻa ka mahalo mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. E nānā i kēia mau mea ke manaʻo ʻoe "He hoʻopunipuni wau."
• Nā manaʻo a me nā ʻoiaʻiʻo e hoʻokaʻawale: I ka manawa aʻe e kānalua ai ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, e hoʻomanaʻo iā ʻoe iho he manaʻo wale nō ia, ʻaʻole he ʻoiaʻiʻo.
• E lokomaikaʻi iā ʻoe iho: He aha kāu e ʻōlelo ai inā manaʻo kou hoaaloha penei? "He akamai ʻoe, a he kuleana kou e hana hewa," ʻaʻole anei? E haʻi iā ʻoe iho i ka mea like.
• E hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka ʻae ʻana i nā mahalo: Ke ʻōlelo kekahi "hana maikaʻi ʻia," ma kahi o ka pale ʻana me ka "Mahalo, akā...", e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka ʻōlelo wale ʻana "Mahalo nui loa."
• Mai hoʻohālikelike iā ʻoe iho me haʻi: Hoʻopuka wale nā ​​​​kānaka a pau i kā lākou mea maikaʻi loa ma ka pāpili kaiapili. No laila e ho'ōki i ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana iā ʻoe iho me lākou. Akā, e ho'āʻo e hoʻomaikaʻi i kēia lā ma mua o kou nehinei. ʻAʻohe mea hemolele.
• E hoʻokūkū i kou mau manaʻo: Ke manaʻo ʻoe, "Ua loaʻa iaʻu kēia hana no ka mea ʻaʻohe mea ʻē aʻe i makemake," e hoʻokūkū i kēlā manaʻo a noʻonoʻo maikaʻi, "Ua loaʻa iaʻu kēia hana no ka mea hana nui wau a makemake koʻu mau hoa hana iaʻu."
• E hoʻomaopopo: ʻAʻole loaʻa i nā mea hoʻopunipuni maoli ka `Imposter Syndrome`. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o kou manaʻo ʻana i kēia ʻano e hōʻike ana ʻaʻole ʻoe he mea hoʻopunipuni!