Yu kin fil bad we pɔsin nɔ gri fɔ tek yu? (Rejection) Mek wi tok abaut dis!

Di pen we wi kin fil we pɔsin se nɔ to wi, we i nɔ gri wit wi... Ah, dat nɔto bad tin, nɔto so? Sɔntɛnde na wi layf, ɔlman kin gɛt fɔ gɛt dis kayn ɛkspiriɛns. I kin bi frɔm yu padi, pɔsin we yu lɛk, ɔ sɔntin we gɛt fɔ du wit wok. So, tide wi go tok abaut hau wi de dil wit dis tin we dem de kol rijekshon and hau to mek op wi maind.

Wetin na rilijɔn we pɔsin nɔ gri wit? Wetin mek i de mek i fil bad?

Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, we pɔsin nɔ gri fɔ tek wi, na we pɔsin ɔ sɔntin nɔ gri fɔ tek wi, se nɔ, ɔ lɛf wi. Dis kin apin bɔku we dɛn.

• Sɔshial rijɛkt : Tin dɛn lɛk fɔ lɛf yu na grup fɔ padi, nɔto fɔ bi di wan nɔmɔ we dɛn invayt fɔ go pati.
• Rijekshɔn insay lɔv rilayshɔnship: We pɔsin we yu lɛk nɔ lɛk yu, ɔ we pɔsin we yu lɛk lɛf yu.
• Rijek na wok ɔ profeshɔnal: Nɔ pik fɔ intavyu fɔ wok we yu bin gɛt bɔku op fɔ, nɔ fɔ gɛt promoshɔn.
• Rijeshɔn insay di famili: Sɔntɛnde, ivin di famili mɛmba dɛn kin ignore ɛn kɔrɛkt yu.

Tink bɔt am, frɔm we wi yɔŋ, wi ɔl want fɔ mek pipul dɛn tek wi, lɛk wi, ɛn put wi insay. Na wan besik tin we mɔtalman nid. So, wen pesin rijek wi, e bi laik se dem de hit wi fo ed. Sɔm stɔdi dɛn dɔn sho se dis pen we wi de fil kin apin na wi bren di sem we aw i kin apin we wi fil pen na wi bɔdi! In ɔda wɔd, di pen we yu kin fil we pɔsin bit yu kin fil pen jɔs lɛk di pen we yu kin fil we dɛn nɔ gri fɔ tek yu. Na dat mek i kin fil bad bad wan.

"Memba se, rijekshon no min se yu no fit. I jos min se yu no bin kompitibul wit pesin fo som taim."

Aw we pɔsin nɔ gri fɔ tek am, aw i kin afɛkt wi maynd ɛn wi bɔdi?

We pɔsin se nɔ to wi, wi kin bigin fɔ fil difrɛn tin dɛn. Dis na tin dɛn we rili nɔmal, so nɔ fred dɛn.

• Sɔri-at: Fɔ fil rili sɔri na di fɔs tin we kin apin. Yu kin ivin kray. Natin nɔ bad wit dat.
• Vɛks: Yu kin fil vɛks, de wɔnda se, "Wetin mek yu du mi dis?" Dat na nɔmal tin.
• Shem ɛn gilti : Yu kin tink se, "I fɔ bi bikɔs ɔf sɔntin we a de du we nɔ rayt." Yu kin shem ɛn fil gilti fɔ yusɛf.
• Loneliness : Yu kin fil se yu wan, lɛk "A nɔ gɛt ɛnibɔdi naw."
• Fɔ ɔndastand yusɛf:Self-esteem kin low by think, "A nɔ gɛt yus."
• Wae yu de wɔri : Yu kin fil frayd ɛn nɔr kin fil fayn, de wɔnda, "Dis go apin bak tumara bambay?"

Apat frɔm dɛn filin ya, sɔntɛnde wi bɔdi kin afɛkt bak. Tin dɛn lɛk we pɔsin nɔ de slip, we i nɔ want fɔ it, we i gɛt bɛlɛ prɔblɛm, ed we de at, ɛn we i taya, ɔl dis kin bi bikɔs ɔf strɛs .

Us mistek dɛn wi kin mek we dɛn nɔ gri fɔ tek wi?

Sɔntɛnde, we wi kin gɛt prɔblɛm lɛk dis, di tin dɛn we wi kin du fɔ tray fɔ mek wi at kol kin dɔn mek wi gɛt mɔ prɔblɛm. Wi kin kɔl dis we fɔ bia wit di prɔblɛm we nɔ fayn .

• Fɔ stɔp di filin: Fɔ ol di filin lɛk sɔri-at ɛn vɛks insay we yu nɔ sho am. Dis kin jɔs mek yu maynd strɛs mɔ ɛn mɔ .
• Rumination: Tink di sem tin ova and ova, "Wetin mek dat hapun?", "Wetin a du rong?" Dis nɔ kin sɔlv di prɔblɛm, ɛn i kin jɔs mek i wɔs.
• Fɔ blem yusɛf: Fɔ tink se, "Dis na ɔl mi fɔlt."
• Fɔ blem ɔda pipul ɔ fɔ tray fɔ revaŋg: Fɔ ol vɛks ɛn et to di pɔsin we nɔ gri wit yu.
• Isolation : Tray fɔ sɔlv yu prɔblɛm dɛn fɔ yusɛf , fa frɔm yu padi ɛn fambul dɛn.
• Fɔ tɔn to rɔm , sigrɛt, ɔ drɔgs: Fɔ gɛt adikshɔn to dɛn tin ya wit di op fɔ mek yu nɔ fil pen.
• Ribaund: Na di akt fɔ fɛn ɔda pɔsin kwik kwik wan fɔ ful-ɔp di say we nɔ gɛt natin, mɔ afta di lɔv rileshɔnship dɔn.

Pan ɔl we dɛn tin ya kin mek wi fil fayn fɔ sɔm tɛm, as tɛm de go, dɛn kin ambɔg wi maynd wɛlbɔdi.

So, aw yu de dil wit dis rijekshɔn fayn fayn wan ɛn mek yu maynd?

Okay, naw lɛ wi si aw wi go kip wi maynd strɔng na tɛm lɛk dis, lan frɔm dis ɛkspiriɛns, ɛn go bifo. Dɛn kɔl dis Healthy Coping Mechanisms .

1. Aksept di we aw yu de fil ɛn lɛf am.

Na nɔmal tin fɔ lɛ pɔsin fil bad, vɛks, ɛn fil bad. Nɔ tink se, "A nɔ fɔ de fil dis kayn sɔri-at." Mek yusɛf fil wetin yu de fil. If yu fil se yu want fɔ kray, kray. I kin rili mek pɔsin fil fayn. Nɔ stɔp di we aw yu de fil.

2. Bi gud to yusɛf (Self-compassion) .

Sɔntɛnde lɛk dis, wi kin blem wisɛf. Wi kin tink tin dɛn lɛk, "A bin fɔ dɔn bɛtɛ," "Na mi fɔlt." Bɔt du gud to yusɛf. If yu gud padi bin de pan dis kayn tin, tɔk to dɛn di sem we aw yu go tɔk to dɛn.Tink , "Dis kin apin to ɛnibɔdi, a go pas dis."

3. Tɔk to pɔsin we yu trɔst.

Tɔk bɔt yu filin, yu sɔri, yu vɛks, ɔltin wit pɔsin we yu trɔst. I kin bi yu padi, yu fambul, ticha, ɔ pɔsin we de advays yu . We yu de tɔk bɔt wetin de na yu maynd, yu kin fil fri.

4. Rifram yu tinkin

Rijekshɔn nɔto ɔltɛm sɔntin we yu de du we nɔ rayt. I kin bi prɔblɛm wit di pɔsin we dɛn de tɔk bɔt, ɔ i kin bi se i nɔ gri wit di tin dɛn we de apin to am. Fɔ ɛgzampul, if yu nɔ bin gɛt wok, nɔto bikɔs yu nɔ gud, na bikɔs yu nɔ mit di kwalifayeshɔn dɛn we di pɔsin we de tek yu fɔ wok fɔ gɛt. If yu kin tink se, "Dis kin bi gud fɔ mi," dat na fayn tin.

5. Lan lɛsin frɔm dis ɛkspiriɛns.

Sɔntin de we wi kin lan frɔm ɛni ɛkspiriɛns. Aks yusɛf se, "Wetin a go lan frɔm dis?" "Enitin de we a go du to improv?" Dis go gi yu trɛnk fɔ bia wit dɛn kayn tin dɛn ya tumara bambay. Bɔt, nɔ go te yu blem yusɛf.

6. Fokus pan di tin dɛn we yu go ebul fɔ kɔntrol.

Wi nɔ go ebul fɔ kɔntrol aw ɔda pipul dɛn de tink ɔ wetin dɛn de du. Bɔt wi kin kɔntrol di we aw wi de biev, di tin dɛn we wi de du, ɛn di we aw wi de biev. So stɔp fɔ wɔri bɔt di tin dɛn we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ chenj ɛn bigin fɔ pe atɛnshɔn pan di tin dɛn we yu go ebul fɔ kɔntrol.

7. Put yu fɔ du tin dɛn we yu lɛk ɛn we de mek yu gladi.

Tin dɛn lɛk fɔ du ɛksɛsayz, fɔ wach fim, fɔ lisin to siŋ, fɔ rid buk, fɔ go wit yu padi dɛn, ɛn fɔ du tin dɛn we yu lɛk, kin ɛp fɔ mek yu nɔ strɛs. Dɛn tin ya kin ɛp fɔ mek yu fil fayn.

8. Tek kia of yu bodi helt tu.

Slip fayn, it tin dɛn we gɛt fayn fayn tin dɛn, drink wata, ɛn ɛksesaiz. We yu kip yu bɔdi wɛl, i kin izi fɔ mek yu maynd gɛt wɛlbɔdi.

Wetin na di tɛm dɛn we yu kin fil se yu nid ɛp?

Sɔntɛnde, ilɛksɛf wi tray tranga wan, i kin at fɔ lɛf di pen we wi kin fil we wi nɔ gri fɔ tek am. If yu de fil ɛni wan pan dɛn tin ya, i go fayn fɔ mek yu go to pɔsin we sabi du dɛn wok :

• If yu de fil bad bad wan ɛn yu at pwɛl fɔ sɔm dez ɔr wik.
• If yu at pwɛl so dat yu nɔr kin ebul fɔ du yu woke fayn fayn wan ɛvride (wok, stɔdi, famili wok).
• If yu de tink ɔltɛm fɔ du bad to yusɛf.
• If sɔntin lɛk fɔ tek drɔgs dɔn kam.
• If yu de sho sɔm kayn sik lɛk fɔ wɔri ɔr pwɛl hat .

Wae yu tɔk to pɔrsin wae gɛt dis sik, advays, ɔr sayɛnsman kin ɛp yu fɔ gɛt de sɔpɔt ɛn gayd wae yu nid fɔ bia dis kayn tin. Na nɔrtin fɔ shem, ɛn i impɔtant fɔ tek kia ɔf yu maynd wɛl bɔdi.

Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl we wi nid fɔ mɛmba (Take-Home Message) .

So, a op se yu lan sɔntin frɔm wetin wi tɔk bɔt tide. Mɛmba se fɔ lɛ pɔsin nɔ gri fɔ tek am na pat pan layf. I kin apin to ɛnibɔdi, ɛnitɛm.

Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na dat, fɔ rijek nɔ de sho se yu gɛt valyu. Yu na pɔsin we gɛt valyu ɛn we strɔng. Ɛkspiriɛns dɛn lɛk dis kin mek yu strɔng mɔ ɛn mɔ.

• Mek di we aw yu de fil bi.
• Bi gud to yusɛf.
• Nɔ fred fɔ aks fɔ ɛp.
• Lan lɛsin frɔm dis, smayl, ɛn bigin fɔ liv bak.

A wish yu di trɛnk fɔ go pan dis joyn!

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Rijekshɔn, Mental Ɛlth, Strɛs, Imɔshɔn Manejmɛnt, Sɛlf-Kɔmpashɔn, Kɔnsul, Sri Lanka