Afta yu bɔn pikin, di big kwɛstyɔn we de na yu maynd na, ‘A kin go bak na wokples ɔ a kin de na os wit di pikin?’ Yu nɔ tink se dis na di big ɛn kɔmplikɛt tin we nyu mama go disayd fɔ du? Sɔm mama dɛn dɔn de tink bɔt fɔ go bak na wokples frɔm bifo dɛn bɔn dɛn pikin. Ɔda pipul dɛn dɔn ɔlrɛdi disayd se dɛn want fɔ ‘stay na os’. Bɔt we di pikin dɔn de na yu an, ɔltin kin difrɛn. Tide, wi go tɔk bɔt dis big disizhɔn, di tin dɛn we de mɔna yu, ɛn aw fɔ pik wetin go wok fayn fɔ yu ɛn yu famili.
Di hesitation of nyu mama
Ɛni nyu mama kin gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ go wok ɔ fɔ de na os. Sɔntɛnde, tin nɔ kin apin di we aw wi bin dɔn plan. Imajin, yu dɔn wok tranga wan ɛn stɔdi tranga wan, ɛn yu dɔn gɛt gud wok. Yu go mɔs dɔn plan fɔ go bak na wokples afta sɔm mɔnt afta yu dɔn bɔn pikin. Bɔt wans yu ol di pikin na yu an, we yu luk da smɔl fes de, yu kin tink se, "O, aw a go lɛf dis smɔl wan ɛn go wok?"
Na di ɔda say, yu kin de tink se, "A nɔ go go bak na wokples, a go jɔs de na os wit di pikin." Bɔt afta sɔm tɛm, yu go kam fɔ no se fɔ de na os kin mek yu taya ɛn yu kin fil yu wan. Yu kin fil se yu wangren nɔ de wit yu padi ɔ kɔleja dɛn, ɛn yu kin fil lɛk se yu de mis di tin dɛn we yu ebul fɔ du.
Di wan dɛn we sabi bɔt mental wɛlbɔdi biznɛs se yu nɔ fɔ disayd fɔ du ɛni big tin we go de sote go bɔt yu layf, ivin we yu de wet fɔ bɔn pikin ɔ insay di fɔs ia afta yu gɛt pikin. Bikɔs nɔbɔdi nɔ go ebul fɔ tɔk bɔt aw yu go fil we yu bi mama.
Sɔm mama dɛn kin tink se dɛn go lɛk fɔ kia fɔ dɛn pikin, bɔt afta sɔm tɛm, di wanwɔd kin mek dɛn vɛks ɛn wɔri. Ɔda pipul dɛn kin sɔprayz fɔ si aw dɛn kin ɛnjɔy fɔ de na os. So no rayt ɔ rɔng ansa nɔ de fɔ dis. Dis disishun dipen ɔl pan yu maynd, di sɔpɔt nɛtwɔk dɛm we yu gɛt, ɛn yu famili sityueshɔn.
Tin dɛn we yu fɔ tink bɔt we yu de disayd fɔ du dis
Bifo yu disayd if yu fɔ go wok ɔ yu nɔ fɔ go wok, sɔm tin dɛn de we yu fɔ tek tɛm tink bɔt. Lɛ wi si wetin dɛn bi.
| Di tin dɛn we yu fɔ tink bɔt | Aw fɔ tink bɔt am |
|---|---|
| Ikɔnomi sityueshɔn | Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, if yu nɔ go wok, yu go ebul fɔ manej di mɔni we yu de spɛn na os? Yu tink se na yu man in salari nɔmɔ go mek yu gɛt mɔni? If yu go wok, ɔmɔs i go kɔst fɔ pe fɔ neni ɔ daycare? If sɔntɛnde yu kin spɛn bɔku pan yu mɔni fɔ du dis, tink if i gɛt bɛnifit fɔ go wok. |
| Di kia we di pikin nid fɔ kia fɔ | Yɔŋ pikin nid fɔ kia fɔ am we nɔ de chenj ɛn we pɔsin kin abop pan. I bɛtɛ if di pikin de kia fɔ di pikin as i pɔsibul frɔm di mama ɛn papa. Bɔt if yu go wok, udat go kia fɔ di pikin? Na yu mama, yu mama-in-law? Ɔ ɔda pɔsin? Aw yu biliv dɛn? Gud, kwaliti de kia sɛnta kin bi gud opshɔn bak. |
| Yu mental pripiamɛnt | Dis na di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl. If yu de na os ɛn i mek yu vɛks ɛn fil bad, dat nɔ go fayn fɔ di pikin. Dɔn bak, if yu go wok ɛn fil bɔku gilti, if yu de tink ɔltɛm se, ‘A fɔ dɔn de na os,’ dat sɛf nɔ fayn fɔ di pikin. Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl fɔ di pikin na fɔ mek yu gladi. |
| Fɔ gi pikin in mama in bɛlɛ | Fɔ gi pikin in bɛlɛ kin bi prɔblɛm if yu go wok. Bɔt i nɔto tin we nɔ pɔsibul. Yu nid fɔ plan bifo tɛm, lɛk fɔ pɔmp ɛn chɛk if tin dɛn de na di wokples. |
Fear of "A go bi gud mama?"
Bɔku tɛm, mama dɛn kin strɛs wit di kwɛstyɔn, "A fɔ go wok? A fɔ de na os?" Bɔt di rial rizin biɛn am na di fred ɛn wɔri we "A go bi gud mama ?" Ɛspɛshali if yu nɔ bin gɛt gud padi biznɛs wit yu mama, dis fred kin mɔna yu. Da tɛm de, yu kin sho da fred de tru di kwɛstyɔn if yu fɔ go na dis wok ɔ nɔ fɔ go.
Wetin ɔda mama dɛn go se? (Di "Mama Wɔ dɛn")
Dis na big prɔblɛm bak. If yu disayd fɔ de na os, mama dɛn we de wok go luk yu strenj wan. "Gɔl dɛn kin de na os dɛn tɛm ya?" sɔmbɔdi kin aks. If yu disayd fɔ go wok, mama dɛn we de na os kin tink se, "Oh my god, yu nɔ tink se pikin valyu pas mɔni?"
Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na fɔ ɔndastand se di wan dɛn we de kɔrɛkt lɛk dis de pan big kɔnflikt insay dɛnsɛf. Ɔlman de tray fɔ pruv se di tin we dɛn disayd fɔ du na di rayt tin. Di izi we fɔ du dat na fɔ kɔndɛm wetin di ɔda pɔsin disayd fɔ du. So nɔ tek wetin ɔda pipul dɛn se na yu yon.
Yu kin go wok bikɔs yu lɛk am, bikɔs yu wok fayn. Wan ɔda pɔsin kin go wok bikɔs in famili gɛt mɔni prɔblɛm . Di tin dɛn we de apin to ɔlman difrɛn.
Aw yu kin pik wetin bɛtɛ fɔ yu famili?
Dis tan lɛk we pɔsin de pul di wɔ. Na akt we de balans. If yu disayd fɔ go wok, na sɔm tin dɛn ya yu kin du:
- Mek tɛm fɔ yu pikin: Atɛnd yu pikin in skul wok ɛn spɛshal tɛm dɛn ɛnitɛm we i pɔsibul. We yu kam bak na os frɔm wok, gi yu pikin dɛn ɔl da tɛm de. Put dɛn na slip, dɔn yu go ebul fɔ du yu wok.
- Gi di pikin dɛn di wikɛnd: Bifo yu du yu os ɛn go bay tin dɛn na di wikɛnd, put tɛm fɔ du tin dɛn we yu pikin dɛn lɛk, ple wit dɛn, ɛn go waka.
- Tɔk fayn bɔt wok: Bifo yu se bifo yu pikin dɛn se, "O, a de go dis wok bikɔs a nid di mɔni," tɔk tin dɛn lɛk, "Mama lɛk dis wok, i de mek i gladi."
If yu disayd fɔ de na os:
- Mek tɛm fɔ yusɛf: We yu de nia yu pikin ɔl di de, dat kin mek yu taya. Du sɔntin we yu lɛk, rid buk, kɔl yu padi, ɔ sɛt smɔl tɛm fɔ yusɛf ɛvride.
- Kɔnekt wit ɔda mama dɛm: Kɔnekt wit ɔda mama dɛm na os lɛk yu, gɛt chat, ɛn ple wit yu pikin dɛm togɛda. I go ɛp yu fɔ avɔyd fɔ de yu wan .
As tɛm de go, dis na yu layf, yu famili, yu pikin. If di tin we yu disayd fɔ du de mek yu, yu man, ɛn yu pikin gladi, na di rayt tin fɔ disayd . If yu de fil se yu de fil bad ɔr de wɔri bɔt dis, tɔk to yu padi we yu kin abop pan, yu fambul, ɔ yu dɔktɔ , ɔr pɔsin we de gi advays bɔt yu maynd if nid de. I kin rili mek pɔsin fil fayn.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- No "rayt" ɔ "rɔng" ansa nɔ de fɔ go wok ɔ fɔ de na os afta yu dɔn bɔn pikin . Na pɔsin insɛf sɛf disayd.
- We yu de disayd fɔ du dis, tink bɔt ɔl di tri tin dɛn: yu famili in mɔni, di we aw dɛn de kia fɔ yu pikin, ɛn yu yon maynd .
- Nɔ pe atɛnshɔn to wetin ɔda pipul dɛn de tɔk ɔ kɔndɛm. Ɔl famili difrɛn, ɔl mama in sityueshɔn difrɛn.
- Ilɛk wetin yu disayd fɔ du, nɔ fil gilti fɔ dat. Mama we gladi na di bɛst mama fɔ pikin.
- If yu de fil strɛs ɔr de wɔri bɔt dis, nɔr frayd fɔ tɔk bɔt am. Go to dɔktɔ if nid de.
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