Roshan (kum 35) leh a nupui Dinusha (kum 32) te chu nikum Thawhlehni khan ka clinic-ah routine medical check-up nei turin an lo kal a. An pahnih chuan ngawi rengin an awm a. An inkarah hian cold war chiang tak a awm tih ka hre thei.
An chhungkaw nun chungchang ka zawh chuan Roshan chuan, "Dr. Priya, kan fa pahnihna kan pian hnuah kan nupa nun chu mechanical list mai a lo ni ta a ni. Sum leh pai lama harsatna leh naupang hnathawh avang hian hmangaihna lantir hun kan nei lo. Kan insual fo thin," a ti. Dinusha chuan a remti a, "Roshan hnen atangin engmah thlawpna ka dawng lo, Doctor, ka lakah hian dik lohna a zawng fo thin," a ti.
Ka ti thlamuang a, heti hian ka hrilhfiah a: "Roshan leh Dinusha, mi tam tak chuan inneihna hi auto-pilot-a hlawhtling tur niin an ngai. Mahse, inneihna hlawhtling tak tak chu inpekna leh inbiakpawhna kal zel a ngai a ni. Inneihnaah hian lungphum lian 3 a awm a: Hmangaihna , Zahawmna , leh Mawhphurhna . Vawiin hian, nupa nunah harsatna tlanglawn lo awm thinte chu engte nge ni a, engtin nge hlawhtling taka kan awm theih ang tih hi han sawi ila." rilru lam hawiin enkawl rawh."
🚨 Professional/psychological support nghal ngai Red Flags
Nupa nunah inrem lohna neih hi thil pangngai a ni. Mahse, a hnuaia symptoms te hi a lo awm a nih chuan marriage counselor emaw psychiatrist emaw i pan nghal tur a ni:
- Taksa, tawngkam emaw rilru lama tihduhdahna chi hrang hrang (Domestic Abuse / Violence) awm.
- Partner pakhatin a dang sum leh pai emaw mimal zalenna emaw thunun vek tumna (Coercive Control).
- Chhungkaw harsatna avanga lungngaihna nasa tak nei reng emaw, mahni intihhlum duhna emaw nei kawppui.
- Stonewalling chu party pakhatin thil pakhat sawiho tumnaah inbiakpawhna a pumpelh vek hi a ni.
Nupa inthen chhan tlangpui
- Mahni hmasialna: Mahni mamawh chauh ngaihtuah a, mahni kawppui rilru put hmang ngaihthah.
- Inbiakpawhna \ha lo: Zalen taka inbiak loh leh harsatna chu a chhungah bottle-a dah a, chutah puak darh.
- Sum leh pai lama harsatna: Chhungkaw senso leh sum lakluh dan tur ruahmanna felfai taka siam loh.
- Zu emaw, khelh emaw addiction: Chhungkaw sum leh pai bakah a rilru thlamuanna tichhe vek thei thil a ni.
- Puitling lo: Naupang ang maia nungchang, nupa inneihna avanga mawhphurhna leh harsatna lo thlengte hrethiam lo.
- Fault Finding: I kawppui tihsual chauh sawisel fo thin, an thil tih tha te ngaihlu lo.
Inneihna hlawhtling tak neih theihna tura hmalakna \ha tak takte
Inneihna hlawhtling tak neih theihna tura rilru lam hawia kaihhruaina \ha tak takte chu hetiang hi a ni.
1. 1. A rilru a hah lutuk chuan a rilru a buai em em a.Mahni Inhriat Rawh: Mahni rilru put hmang leh chak lohnate i hriatthiam poh leh i kawppui rilru put hmang chu i hrethiam thei zawk ang.
2. Tum leh hobby inang siam rawh: Kar khatah vawi khat tal in pahnih in tih theih thil (e.g., kal dun, in hobby inang) atan hun ruat rawh.
3. Inneih hnu pawha hmangaihna lantir: Inneihna hnua inngaizawngna chu a reh lo ang. Thilpek tenau pe la, hmangaihna lantir la, date night-ah pawh kal dun rawh.
4. Ngaihdamna: Thil tihsual leh insual chhuah reng ai chuan, thinlung taka ngaidam leh siamthat tum ang che.
Inneihnaa inbiakpawhna \ha tehkhin
| Inbiakpawhna hlawhchham (tlanbo) . | Positive communication (a hman thiam) . |
|---|---|
| Blaming: "Heng harsatna zawng zawng hi nangmah hi i ni!" | Hriatthiamna lantir: "He harsatna hi ka ngaihtuah nasa hle. Engtin nge he thil hi kan chinfel theih ang?" |
| Silent Treatment: Ni tam tak chhung inbiakna neih loh. | Hun dilna: "Tunah hian ka rilru a hahdam tawk lo a, naktuk zingah hian he thu hi kan sawi dun thei ang em?" |
| Hun kal tawhte hriatrengna: Insual laiin tihsual hlui zawng zawng rawn chhuah chhuah. | Tuna harsatna awm mek chauh ngaihtuah: Tuna harsatna awm mek chauh ngaihtuah a, a chinfel dan tur zawng. |
| Ngaithla lo: Phone en reng emaw, kawppui thusawi lai tihtawp emaw. | Active Listening: I kawppui thusawi ngaihven kim a, an ngaihdan atanga thubuai hriatthiam tum. |
Tih tur & Tih loh tur
| ✔️ Thil tih tur (Tih tur) . | ❌ Tih loh tur |
|---|---|
| I kawppui chu an hnen atanga i beisei zahna leh ngaihsakna pe hmasa phawt ang che. | Mi dangte hmaa i kawppuite chu sawichhiat emaw, sawisel emaw chu pumpelh rawh. |
| Chhungkaw din hmain chhungkaw ruahmanna dik tak chungchangah doctor thurawn la hmasa phawt ang che. | Fa in neih hnua in inneihnaa romantic bond chu theihnghilh vek suh. |
| Kar khatah vawi khat tal zalen taka inbiakna neih theih nân hun danglam tak, in pahnih chauh siam rawh. | I kawppui chu a inthlak ang a, i mamawh zawng zawng a hlen chhuak ang tih ring tlat suh. |
❓ Zawhna dang i neih theih ṭhenkhat (FAQ) .
Engvângin nge nupa inkara buaina awmte tân professional counselling hi a pawimawh? ▼ tih a ni
Inneihna counseling neih chhung hian an pahnih hian mi pathumna (counselor) hmaah an harsatna sawiho theihna hun remchang an nei a, harsatna chinfel dan tur leh inbiakpawhna \ha tak takte zirtir an ni bawk.
Engtin nge lungngaihna hian nupa nun a nghawng? ▼ tih a ni
Kawppui chu a lungngaih chuan chhungkaw mawhphurhna a\angin a inhnukdawk thei a, a thinrim thei a, a ngaihsak lo thei bawk. Hei hi kawppui sualna ni lovin damdawi lam thil ngaihtuah leh enkawl ngai a nih avangin general practitioner (GP) emaw rilru lam doctor emaw i pan tur a ni.
Inneihnaa inzawmna dik tak neih nân taksa lama hipna ringawt pawh a tawk em? ▼ tih a ni
No. Taksa lama inhmangaihna leh sex nun hi a pawimawh rualin, hun rei tak, inneihna hlawhtling tak neihna atana a mamawh chu rilru lama inzawmna, inzah tawnna, inngaihsak tawnna, leh nun harsatna kara ding dun ang chi hi a ni.
Engtin nge fault finding hi practice-ah control theih ang? ▼ tih a ni
Kar khatah vawi khat hun reh tak i dah a, in inthlauhna tihdanglam duhna leh pakhat zawk hnen atanga tanpuina in beisei tur te ziak chhuakin, thinrimna tel lovin sawihona hmangin dik lohna zawng chhuah dan chu i thunun thei a ni.
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