He aha tonu te Whakapūmau?
Whakaarohia pēnei: He huarahi hauora te māia ki te kōrero. Ko tōna tikanga ko te kaha ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro, ō kare ā-roto, ō hiahia , me ō whakaaro i runga i te pono me te whakaute . He maha ngā āhuatanga e pā ana ki a tātou i ia rā, ā, ka taea e tēnei momo māia te āwhina nui i a tātou. Hei tauira:- Te tono i tētahi e pai ana koe kia haere tahi mō tētahi rā.
- Te pātai ki tētahi kaiako kura, ki tētahi kaiwhakaako rānei.
- He pai te kōrero ina haere ana ki tētahi uiui mahi.
- Te haere ki te toa ka pātai atu mō te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe.
- Ka taea e koe te whakapuaki mārama i tō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto.
- Ka taea e koe te tono mō tāu e hiahia ana, he aha ōu matea.
- Ki te kore tetahi e whakaae ki tāu whakaaro, ka taea e koe te whakahē i a rātou me te whakaute .
- Ka taea e koe te tuku mai i ō whakaaro me ō whakaaro.
- Ka taea e koe te kī "Kāore e taea e au tēnei" me te "Kāore au i te pai ki tēnei" me te kore e whakama.
- Ka taea hoki e koe te kōrero mō tētahi atu, mō ō rātou tika.
He aha te hiranga o te manawanui?
Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe, he mea nui rawa tēnei? Ae, ehara i te mea ko te kaha ki te tautoko i a tātou anake te āwhina i a tātou ki te whakatutuki i tā tātou e hiahia ana, engari he nui hoki te painga. Ina kōrero tātou i roto i te kaha ki te tautoko, e whakaatu ana i te whakaute i a tātou anō me ētahi atu . Ko te hunga e kōrero ana i roto i te kaha ki te tautoko ka tuku karere ki te ao e whakapono ana rātou ki a rātou anō. Kāore rātou i te mataku rawa, kāore hoki e ngana ki te turaki i ētahi atu ki raro. E mōhio ana rātou he mea nui ō rātou kare ā-roto me ō rātou whakaaro . He pai tō rātou whakapono ki a rātou anō. Ko te hunga e mahi ana i roto i te kaha ki te tautoko he māmā ake te kimi hoa nā te mea e kōrero ana rātou i roto i te huarahi e whakaute ana i ngā hiahia o ētahi atu me ō rātou ake. He maha ngā wā ka pai rātou ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru me ngā tautohetohe ina puta. Whakaarohia, ina whakaute tātou i ētahi atu, ka hoki mai taua whakaute.Koinā te pono.Kei hea koe? He tino marino? He nui rawa te haruru? He tika noa iho rānei?
Nā, me titiro tātou ki tō tūnga i runga i tēnei tauine e kīia nei ko te "Manawanui." Anei ētahi tauira:Te kōrero a Pawani: He tino marino... (He tino mangere)
Ki te pātai koe ki a Pawani, "He aha te kiriata e hiahia ana koe ki te mātaki?", tera pea ka mea ia, "Āe, kāore au i te mōhio, me mātaki tāua i tāu e pai ai." He maha tonu āna whakatau mā ētahi atu, ā, i muri mai ka puta tōna pouri, "Āe, me i kōrero ahau i tērā." Ka whakama ia ina ko ōna hoa anake te hunga e kōrero ana. Ahakoa ka ngana a Pawani ki te whakauru atu, ka puhoi rawa tana kōrero, ā, kāore i te mōhiotia e ētahi atu te kōrero mōna.Te kōrero a Janani: He ahua kino te ahua, kāore? (He tino pukuriri)
Kāore a Janani e wehi ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro. Engari ina pērā ia, ka tino nui tana reo, kia tika ai ōna ake whakaaro. Ina puta he kōrero, ka tangohia e ia te nuinga, ka whakakore i ngā kōrero a ētahi atu, ā, he onge tana whakarongo ki ngā kōrero a ētahi atu. Ki te kore koe e whakaae ki a ia, ka kōrero whakatoi ia i a koe, ka whakaiti rānei i a koe. He tokomaha te hunga e kī ana he tino "rangatira" a Janani (he whakahau i ētahi atu), ā, kāore e whakaaro ki ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu.Te kōrero a Benura: Koinei te ara tika! (Just Right - Assertive)
Ki te pātai koe ki a Benura mō tētahi whakaaro, ka pono tana kōrero ki a koe. Ki te whakahē ia i a koe, ka kōrerotia e ia, me te kore e whakaiti i a koe, me te kore e mea kia hē koe. E hiahia ana hoki a Benura ki ō whakaaro, ā, e whakarongo pai ana ia ki tāu e kōrero nei. Ahakoa kāore a Benura e whakaae ki a koe, ka taea e koe te rongo kei te whakaute ia i tō whakaaro.Ngā raruraru ka puta mai mēnā he tino mangere rawa koe
Āe, me whakaaro tātou ki te hunga "Kāore e mahi" pērā i a Pawani. Tērā pea ka whakaaro tonu rātou kei te whakamahia rātou e ētahi atu, kei te mahi mō ō rātou ake painga. Kātahi ka mamae, ka riri, ka riri hoki . Ina huna e koe ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto, kāore ētahi e whai wāhi ki te mōhio me te mārama ki a koe. Kāore ō whakaaro pai e whai hua ki te tīma, ki te wāhi mahi, me te whānau e tika ana.Ki te tīmata koe ki te whakaaro, "Kāore he aha aku whakaaro, kāore he aha aku kare ā-roto ki tetahi," ka taea e tēnei te whakaiti haere i tō whakapono ki a koe anō. Tērā pea kāore ō whakaaro pai e whiwhi i te whakamihi me te whakatenatena e tika ana mā rātou. Ki te haere tonu tēnei āhuatanga, tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te āhua hinengaro pēnei i te pouri .
Ngā raruraru ka puta ake mēnā ka nui rawa tō pukuriri
Nā, kia titiro tātou ki te aha ka pā ki te hunga e whanonga ana i roto i te momo `(Pukuriri)` pērā i a Janani. Tērā pea ka uaua ki a rātou te pupuri hoa me te pupuri i ngā whanaungatanga pai. Tērā pea ka ngana rātou ki te whakararu i ētahi atu i roto i ngā kōrero, ka whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro me te kaha me te ohorere, ā, tērā pea ka whakaaro ētahi atu kāore rātou i te whakautehia, i te maiohahia rānei. Tērā pea ka taea e te hunga he momo `(Pukuriri)` te whiwhi i tā rātou e hiahia ana mai i ētahi atu. Engari i te nuinga o te wā, ka mutu ka whakakahoretia rātou, ka kore hoki e pai ki ētahi atu. Ā tōna wā, ka ngaro te whakaute o ētahi atu.He aha te take kāore te katoa e whakamahi tika i te kaha o te whakaaro? He aha te take?
He aha rā te take e "(Whakahīhī)" ai ētahi tāngata pērā i a Benura, ko ētahi e "(Kāore)" pērā i a Pawani, e "(Pukuriri)" rānei pērā i a Janani? Ko tētahi take mō tēnei ko tō tātou āhua. Ka pāngia hoki e ngā tikanga kua hangaia e tātou i roto i te wā me ngā wheako kua pā ki a tātou. I taua wā anō, ka ako tātou ki te whanonga "(Whakahīhī)", "(Kāore)", "(Pukuriri)" rānei mā te mātakitaki i te whanonga a ētahi atu, inā koa te whanonga a te hunga i whakatipu i a tātou mai i te tamarikitanga (ngā mātua, ngā kaitiaki).Ngā take mō te noho puku:
- Te kore whakapono ki a ia anō, me te kore whakapono ki te uara o ōna ake whakaaro.
- Te whakaaro nui rawa ki te whakamanawareka i ētahi atu, me te whiwhi i ō rātou manako.
- Te wehi nui rawa atu kei whakakahoretia , kei kore rānei ētahi e whakaae ki ō whakaaro.
- Te tino aro nui ki ngā whakahe, te mamae rānei i ngā wheako o mua mō te kore arohia, te whakakahoretia rānei o ō rātou whakaaro.
- Kāore anō kia whakawhanakehia ngā pūkenga e hiahiatia ana hei whanonga "māia".
Ngā take mō te pukuriri:
- Ko te nui rawa o te māia ki a koe anō ko te whakaaro ko koe anake te tangata tika.
- Te mahi anake hei whakanui i ōna ake hiahia me ōna whakaaro, me te kore e whakaaro ki ētahi atu.
- Kāore i te ako ki te whakaute me te whai whakaaro ki ngā whakaaro, ngā kare ā-roto me ngā matea o ētahi atu.
- Te korenga o ngā pūkenga whakarongo, te korenga e ako ki te pātai i ō rātou whakaaro.
Ngā mea hei āwhina i a koe ki te whanonga māia:
- Te whai whakaaro pai ki a koe anō .
- Te whakapono pono he mea nui ngā whakaaro o te tangata, he mea nui ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata, ā, kei a ia te tika ki te whakapuaki i aua kare ā-roto.
- Kia kaha te hinengaro me te manawanui ki te aro atu ki ngā whakahē, ki te whakakorenga, me ngā arai ina tae mai.
- Te whakaute i ngā hiahia me ngā matea o ētahi atu.
- Te whakatauira i te hunga e whanonga ana me te ngākau māia.
- Te whai wheako pai, pērā i te whiwhi urupare pai i te wā i whakaaetia ai ō whakaaro, me te whanonga māia.
Me pēhea tātou e kaha ai ki te whakamanawa? Ngā mea ka taea e tātou te mahi
Ko te rongo pai, he mea ka taea e tātou te whakaharatau me te whakawhanake i te māia. Me whakaharatau noa i ngā pūkenga kōrero me te waiaro pai. Tērā pea he māori ake te āhua o ētahi tāngata. Ko ētahi atu me whakaharatau anō. Engari ka taea e te tangata katoa te whakawhanake . Anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei āwhina:1. Tuatahi, tautuhia tō momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero.
Whakaarohia marietia mēnā he "Manaaki" ake koe, he "Hū" ake rānei, he "Pukuriri" ake rānei. Kātahi, whakatau mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakaiti i tō āhua hāngū, ki te pukuriri rānei, ki te whakapai ake rānei i tō "Manaaki" o nāianei.2. Whakamātauria ēnei mea hei whakaiti i tō noho puku, hei whakapakari ake hoki i tōu māia:
- Kia tūpato ki ō whakaaro, ki ō kare ā-roto, ki ō hiahia, ki ō pai. I mua i tō kōrero i ēnei mea ki ētahi atu, me mārama koe ki ēnei mea.
- Ina pātai mai tetahi ki a koe he aha tāu e hiahia ana, tirohia mēnā ka kī atu koe i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Āe, kāore au i te mōhio," "Kāore au e aro," "He pai tēnā." Whakamutua taua tikanga. Whakamātauria te kī i tāu e hiahia ana, ahakoa mō ngā mea iti. Hei tauira, ki te pātai mai tetahi, "Kei te hiahia koe ki te mea kakariki, ki te mea whero rānei?" ka taea e koe te kī, "Kei te hiahia ahau ki te mea kakariki - ngā mihi nui ki a koe."
- Whakaharatauhia te tono mea. Hei tauira: "Me tuku atu e au taua pūnu ki a koe?" "Me hiahia au ki tētahi pene - kei a tetahi tētahi atu?" "Me whakarite he nohoanga mōku i reira?" Ina whakaharatau koe ki te tono i ngā mea iti pēnei, ka hangaia e koe ngā pūkenga me te maia e hiahiatia ana e koe ki te tono i tētahi mea nui, nui hoki.
- Tuhia mai ō whakaaro. Kōrero mai mēnā i pai, i kino rānei koe ki tētahi kiriata i mātakihia e koe, me te take i pērā ai ō whakaaro.
- Whakaharatauhia te whakamahi i ngā kōrero "ahau" pēnei i te "E pai ana ahau ki a..." "E pai ana ahau ki a..." "E pai ana ahau ki a..." "E whakaaro ana ahau... " Ma tenei koe e awhina ki te whakapuaki i ou kare ā-roto me ou whakaaro i roto i to ake huarahi.
- Whakaarohia tētahi tauira tangata māia - he tangata kāore e ngū, kāore hoki e whanoke. Ngāna kia whai i ngā āhuatanga pai o taua tangata.
- Kia maumahara tonu koe he rite te hiranga o ō whakaaro me ō whakaaro ki ō te tangata kē atu . He huarahi pai tēnei ki te whai whakaaro pakari. Ka tīmata te whakaaro pakari me te whakaaro e whakanui ana, e whakaute ana hoki i a koe anō pērā i te tangata kē atu.
3. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakaiti i te riri me te noho māia:
- Tukua ētahi atu kia kōrero i te tuatahi.
- Kia tūpato kei whakararuraru koe i ētahi atu. Ki te pērā koe, hopukia, ka mea atu, "Āe, whakapāha mai - māu e whakaoti tāu i te tuatahi!" ā, tukua te tangata kē kia whakaoti i tā rātou kōrero.
- Pātai atu ki tētahi atu mō ō rātou whakaaro, ā, whakarongo mai hoki.
- Ki te kore koe e whakaae ki tētahi mea, ngana ki te whakapuaki i tō whakaaro me te whakaute, me te kore e whakaiti i te whakaaro o te tangata kē. Hei tauira, kaua e kī, "He whakaaro kuware rawa tēnā," me kī atu pēnei, "Kāore au i te tino whakaae ki tēnā whakaaro." Engari, kaua e kī, "He tangata kino rawa taua tangata," me kī atu pēnei, "Ki taku whakaaro he iti nei tōna kore whakaaro ki ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu."
- E ai ki te kōrero i mua ake nei, whakatauirahia koe i tētahi tangata he pai ana whanonga, he māia hoki.
4. Me whakawhanake ake ngā pūkenga o te hunga māia ā-tūroa:
- Kimihia ngā tauira pai "(Manaaki)". Whāia ō rātou āhuatanga pai. (Ka kite koe, i hoatu e mātou tēnei tohutohu ki ētahi atu. Ko te take, ka ako mātou i ngā mea hou i ia rā o te ao!)
- Whakaarohia ngā āhuatanga e tino kaha ai koe ki te kōrero. Mō te tini o te tangata, he ngāwari te kōrero i ētahi āhuatanga (hei tauira, ki ngā hoa), engari i ētahi atu āhuatanga (hei tauira, ki ngā kaiako, ki ngā tāngata hou) he wero pea. I aua āhuatanga uaua, whakaarohia: "Me pēhea taku kōrero i tēnei ki aku hoa pai?" Mā tēnei ka māmā ake ngā mea māu.
Ko te mea tino nui hei maumahara māu ko
Hei whakamutunga, koinei tāu e kōrero ai. Ina "Manaaki" koe, arā, ina kōrerotia e koe ō whakaaro me te pono, te mārama, engari me te whakaute, e whakaatu ana i te nui o tō whakapono ki a koe anō.Kei a koe te tika ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto ki te ao. Kei a koe anō te kawenga ki te whakaute i ngā whakaaro o ētahi atu. He whakakotahitanga tino pai o ngā mea e rua te māia.Ko te whakawhanake i tēnei pūkenga e kiia nei ko te "Manaakitanga" he taahiraa tino nui ki te noho hei tangata e hiahia ana koe, hei "tangata pai rawa atu"! Nō reira, tīmatahia te whakaharatau i ēnei mea mā te āta haere. Ka taea e koe!
Te māia, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te whakapono ki a ia anō, te whakapuaki whakaaro, te whanaungatanga, te hauora hinengaro, te whanonga
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