Uhangana ute n'amarangamutima yawe? (Ibitekerezo by'amarangamutima) Reka tubiganireho!

Tekereza ibi: Ni kuwa gatanu, igihe cya nyuma cy'ishuri. Uri mu rugendo rwo mu mpera z'icyumweru n'inshuti yawe, kandi usigaye amasaha 4 gusa ngo utangire. Wamaze icyumweru cyose ukora cyane, urarangiza umukoro wawe, kandi witeguye kuruhuka. Hanyuma umwarimu akakubwira ko ugomba gukora ikizamini kuwa mbere! Ubyumva ute?

Ushobora kumva uhangayitse cyane, cyangwa urakaye cyane. Ushobora no kumva ubabaye. Ushobora kandi kumva ufite umutwaro mwinshi n'umutwaro, nko kuvuga uti "None se ubu nzabyiga nte?"

Ariko se, ubyifatamo ute? Ukora iki, uravuga iki?

Ushobora kumva ushaka guhaguruka ukabwira mwarimu uti "Ibyo ni akarengane rwose! Bamwe muri twe dufite gahunda zo mu mpera z'icyumweru." Ariko uzi ko ugomba kwicecekera kugeza amasomo arangiye - hanyuma ukaganira n'inshuti yawe kuri ibi.

Ariko se byagenda bite niba utari umuntu ushobora gutuza no kuguma utuje? Ntugahangayike. Umuntu wese ashobora kwiga gusubiza neza amarangamutima akomeye. Hari abantu bakeneye imyitozo mike, ni byo gusa.

Ese twige gusubiza neza?

Guhangana n'amarangamutima neza, mu magambo make, ni uguhitamo uburyo n'igihe cyo kugaragaza amarangamutima yacu.

Abantu bazi gucunga amarangamutima yabo bazi ko kugaragaza amarangamutima yabo ari byiza - ariko uburyo bwo kubikora n'igihe cyo kubikora nabyo ni ingenzi. Kubera iyo mpamvu, bashobora gusubiza neza mu bihe ibyo ari byo byose:

• Bazi ko bashobora guhitamo uko babyitwaramo, aho kureka amarangamutima yabo akabayobora no kuvuga cyangwa gukora ibintu bazicuza nyuma.
• Basobanukiwe neza igihe cyo kuvuga n'igihe cyo gutegereza igihe gito mbere yo kugira icyo bakora ku byo bumva.
• Bazi ko uko babyitwaramo bizagira ingaruka ku bizakurikiraho - harimo n'uko abandi babafata n'icyo bitekerezaho.

Birashoboka ko wigeze ubona umuntu ababara cyane, akora ibintu bikubabaza cyangwa bigatuma wumva ufite isoni zo kumugirira nabi. Birashoboka ko wibuka n'igihe amarangamutima yawe yari akomeye cyane ku buryo wagombaga gukoresha ubushake bwawe bwose kugira ngo wirinde kunyura muri iyo nzira.

Wenda wibuka igihe wananirwaga kugenzura uko wabyitwayemo. Wenda ubwoba, uburakari, cyangwa kwiheba byarakugaruriye. Biratandukanye kuri buri wese. Iyo ibyo bibaye, ibabarire utekereze uburyo wari gukora neza ubutaha. Tekereza icyo uzakora ubutaha.

Ibintu by'ibanze ku marangamutima (Amarangamutima 101)

Ubu buhanga dukoresha mu gucunga no gusubiza neza amarangamutima yacu ni bimwe mu bigize ubuhanga bunini bw'amarangamutima. Ubu buhanga twita ubwenge bw'amarangamutima (EQ) . Buri buhanga bugize ubu buhanga busaba igihe n'imyitozo kugira ngo butere imbere.

Abantu bakira neza baba basanzwe bafite ubumenyi bw'ibanze mu bijyanye no gupima ubushobozi bwabo. Ariko ibi ni ibintu umuntu wese ashobora kwitoza:

Gusobanukirwa amarangamutima

Ubu buhanga, mu magambo make, ni ubushobozi bwo kumenya amarangamutima twumva igihe icyo ari cyo cyose. Ubu ni bwo buhanga bw'ibanze cyane mu (EQ). Hari igihe, kuvuga gusa amarangamutima twumva bishobora kudufasha kugenzura amarangamutima yacu. Tekereza, uhita wumva urakaye, ariko iyo umenye mu mutwe wawe uti "Oh, ndarakaye ubu ngubu," ubwo burakari burushaho koroha kubugenzura.

Gusobanukirwa no kwakira amarangamutima

Gusobanukirwa amarangamutima bivuze gusobanukirwa impamvu twumva dusa n’aho twiyumva. Urugero, dushobora kwibwira tuti: "Numva ndi wenyine cyane kandi nta mutekano mfite kuko ntarabona amahirwe yo kujya muri kaminuza, kandi inshuti zanjye zombi zarayabonye." Ese wigeze wumva umeze utyo?

Mu bihe nk'ibi, bishobora gufasha cyane kureba ibyiyumvo byacu mu buryo bwumvikana. Dushobora gutekereza tuti: "Ntabwo bitangaje kuba numva ndi wenyine - ni ibisanzwe kumva dutyo mu bihe nk'ibi." Ibi ni nko kwiha ubuntu, gusobanukirwa gato, uko twiyumva. Ibi bidufasha kwakira ibyiyumvo byacu. Tuzi ko bifite ishingiro, kandi ko nta kibazo kiri mu buryo twumva.

Kwemera amarangamutima bivuze kumenya no gusobanukirwa amarangamutima twumva, tudashinje abandi cyangwa twe ubwacu ko ari yo tubashinja.

Ntacyo bimaze gushinja abandi, ukavuga uti: "Niyo mpamvu numva ntyo." Ntacyo kandi byiza gucira urubanza amarangamutima yacu ukavuga uti: "Sinshobora kumva ntyo" cyangwa "Ni bibi cyane ko numva ntyo!" Ikintu cy'ingenzi ni ukwemera amarangamutima yawe, ntureke ngo agende mu maboko yawe. Urabyumva?

Umaze kumenya ubu buhanga bw'ibanze, bizoroha cyane gucunga ibyo ukora mu by'ukuri iyo wumvise amarangamutima akomeye. Kwitoza ubu buhanga bw'ibanze bizagufasha gukira amarangamutima akomeye vuba.

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Urimo gukora iki? Tekereza kuri ibyo...

Tekereza ibi: Inshuti zawe zemerewe kujya muri kaminuza, mu kazi keza, cyangwa mu makipe y'imikino. Ariko nta na kimwe muri ibyo kirakubaho. Iyo umaze kumenya, gusobanukirwa no kwemera uko wumva, ubyitwaramo ute?

• Ugaragara nk'ubabaye iyo inshuti zawe ziri hafi, ukibwira ko zizakubaza ziti "Ni iki kibazo?"
• Bavuga nabi abantu bamaze kubona amahirwe, bavuga ibintu nk'ibi ngo "Sinshaka no kujya muri urwo rwobo rw'ikuzimu."
• Uvuga icyo utekereza n'inshuti yawe yizeye uti: "Mbabajwe nuko ntarabona amahirwe. Ariko nshobora kuba ndi kumwe n'inshuti zanjye."
• Wiyibutsa ko iyi si atari iherezo ry'isi. Ufata icyemezo cyo kuyiha umwanya muto, wizeye ko bitazagutera ibyago.

Tekereza kuri buri mahitamo, n'ingaruka za buri kimwe muri ibyo. Ni ikihe gisubizo muri ibi cyatanga umusaruro mwiza? Tekereza gato.

Buri gihe tugira amahitamo ku buryo twakwitwara mu kibazo runaka. Iyo tubisobanukiwe, biroroha cyane gufata ibyemezo bitanga umusaruro mwiza.

Ubutumwa bwa nyuma bwo kujyana mu rugo

Kwiga gusubiza neza bisaba imyitozo, ni ukuri. Ariko twese dushobora guteza imbere ubushobozi bwo kugaragaza amarangamutima yacu mu buryo bwiza, tutiriwe tuyarengerwa. Icyo ni ikintu cyo kwishimira cyane, si byo se?

Niba rero ufite ibihe wumva bigoye guhangana n'ibyo byiyumvo, ntugahangayike. Itoze ibi bintu buhoro buhoro. Banza umenye neza icyo wumva. Hanyuma wibaze uti "Kuki numva meze gutya?" Emera kumva icyo kiyumvo, wemere ko ari ibisanzwe. Hanyuma, tekereza uko uzabyitwaramo hanyuma ufate icyemezo.

Ni nko kwiga gutwara imodoka. Mu ntangiriro biragoye, ariko bigenda byoroha uko ugenda ubimenyera. Ibi urabishobora!