Singathetha ngokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana? Ngaba nomntwana wakho akakho sengozini?

Namhlanje siza kuthetha ngesihloko esinobuzaza nesibalulekileyo. Loo nto yimpatho-mbi yabantwana, okanye njengoko sisithi ngesiNgesi, "impatho-mbi yabantwana". Kunzima ukuva oku, kodwa ukukwazi oku kuya kunceda kakhulu ekukhuseleni abantwana bethu. Ngoko ke masibone ukuba yintoni, kwenzeka njani, kwaye yintoni ekufuneka siyenze.

Yintoni le nto yokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana?

Ngamafutshane, ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana kukwenzakalisa okanye ukungahoywa komntwana ngabom . Okubuhlungu kukuba, uninzi lwexesha, olu xhatshazo lwenziwa ngumntu amazi kakuhle umntwana. Oku kungaba ngumzali, isalamane esisondeleyo, umnakekeli, okanye umhlobo wosapho. Kumazwe amaninzi afana ne-United States, imithetho yokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana ithi naluphi na uxhatshazo olubom okanye ukuphathwa kakubi komntwana ongaphantsi kweminyaka eli-18 ubudala luxhatshazo kwaye lulwaphulo-mthetho. Elinye igama lale nto yi-Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Ukuba ezi meko aziphathwanga kakuhle, zinokuchaphazela impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle komntwana ubomi bakhe bonke. Cinga ngendlela into eyenzeka ebuntwaneni enokubachaphazela ngayo ubomi bakhe bonke.

Ezinye izibalo ngobundlobongela obujoliswe ebantwaneni

Oku kuxhaphake kakhulu kunokuba sicinga. Umzekelo, kuqikelelwa ukuba ngo-2021, eMelika kuphela, malunga nabantwana abangama-600,000 baxhatshazwa. Kuloo nyaka mnye, abantwana abali-1,820 bafa ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa nokungahoywa. Ezi zibalo ziyoyikisa, akunjalo?

Ingaba oku kukwaphulwa komthetho okunzulu?

Ewe, ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana lulwaphulo-mthetho phantsi komthetho. Ngokuxhomekeke kubukhulu bolwaphulo-mthetho, abatshutshisi banokulujonga njengesenzo esibi okanye isenzo solwaphulo-mthetho . Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lolwaphulo-mthetho lokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana luthathwa njengezenzo zolwaphulo-mthetho ezinzulu.

Zeziphi iintlobo zobundlobongela ezinokwenzeka ebantwaneni?

Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana kunokuza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Makhe sijonge iintlobo eziphambili:

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni ebantwaneni

Oku kuquka ukumbetha, ukumtyhala, ukumbetha, ukumkhaba, ukumshukumisa, nokumtshisa umntwana. Kukwabandakanya ukungamniki umntwana ukutya okanye into yokumsela, okanye ukungamvumeli ukuba asebenzise indlu yangasese. Khawucinge ngendlela umntwana omncinci ebeya kuba buthathaka ngayo ukuba oku kuye kwenzeka kuye.

Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana ngokweemvakalelo

Oku kudla ngokwenzeka ngamazwi . Imizekelo iquka ukukhalimela rhoqo, ukusola, ukunyanzela umntu ukuba enze izinto angenakukwazi ukuzinyamezela, ukusongela, kunye nokukhwaza. Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba inxeba lomzimba liyaphola, kuthatha ixesha elide ukuphilisa amanxeba asentliziyweni.

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo kwabantwana

Le yingxaki enzulu kakhulu. Oku kuquka ukudlwengulwa komntwana, ukulala nomntu othandana naye, ukuxhatshazwa emzimbeni, ukuhamba ze, ukusebenzisa umntwana kwiphonografi, okanye ukumbonisa iphonografi . Ezi zinto zinokuguqula ubomi bomntwana bube nzima.

Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana ngokwezonyango

Oku kungabonakala kungaqhelekanga, kodwa kuyenzeka. Oko kukuthi, ukuzama ukugulisa umntwana ngabom, okanye ukunganyangi isifo somntwana.

Ukungahoywa komntwana

Ukuhlutha umntwana izinto ezisisiseko ezifana nokutya, indawo yokuhlala, imfundo, unyango, kunye nenkxaso yeemvakalelo nako kukuxhatshazwa. Ukuba umntwana akafumani kwanezi zinto zisisiseko, oko kunempembelelo enkulu ekukhuleni kwakhe.

Ngaba ukubetha umntwana kuyamxhaphaza?

Le yingongoma edla ngokuxoxwa ngayo. Kukho izimvo ezahlukeneyo malunga nokuba ukubetha umntwana ukuze umqeqeshe kukumxhaphaza okanye akunjalo. Amanye amazwe anemithetho eyahlukeneyo ngale nto. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ukubetha kubangela ukwenzakala, ukudumba, ukudumba, okanye umonakalo wesikhumba kumntwana, ngokuqinisekileyo kukumxhaphaza. Uphando lubonise ukuba ukubetha kunokuthintela uphuhliso lomntwana kwintlalo. Ngokukodwa, kunokunciphisa ukuzithemba komntwana, kunciphise izakhono zakhe zemfundo, kwaye buthathaka ubudlelwane bakhe namalungu osapho. Ngaphambi kokuba umbethe umntwana, zibuze le mibuzo:

• Ingaba ndiyenza le nto ukuze ndifundise umntwana into ethile okanye ndimoyikise?
• Ingaba umntwana uyazi ukuba ndiyamthanda lo mntwana?
• Sisiphi isifundo endizama ukusifundisa lo mntwana?
• Ngaba ndiza kukwazi ukuvuya ngesi sigqibo kamva?

Ukuze ufunde okungakumbi ngeendlela zokuqeqesha ezinempilo, thetha nogqirha wezingane womntwana wakho.

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo kumchaphazela njani umntwana?

Abaphandi bafumanise ezinye zeempawu zabantwana abaxhatshazwayo. Ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha zinokubonakala lula, umzekelo:

• Ukuzama ukulala nomntu ngendlela engafanelekanga.
• Izikhalazo zomzimba ezihlala zikho ezifana neentlungu zesisu kunye nentloko ebuhlungu .
• Ukuqala ukwenza izinto owawuzenza usengumntwana kwakhona, njengokumunca iminwe nokuchama ebhedini.
• Ukubaleka ekhaya.
• Ukuzilimaza (umz., ukuzisika).
• Ukubonisa utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela yokuziphatha.

Ezinye iimpawu zinokuba nzima ukuzibona:

• Ixhala kunye nokudakumba .
• Ubunzima bokufunda nokugxila.
• Ukubonisa iimpawu zePost -Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
• Uphuhliso lweemvakalelo oluphazamisekileyo.
• Ukuzijongela phantsi.
• Amaphupha amabi rhoqo.
• Iingcinga okanye imizamo yokuzibulala .

Ukuba ubona iimpawu ezinjalo, kufuneka ukhathazeke.

Ngubani osengozini enkulu yokuxhatshazwa?

Abanye abantwana basengozini enkulu yokuxhatshazwa nokungahoywa kunabanye. Ezi zinto ziquka:

• Abantwana abaphila ebuhlwempini (izinga lokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana liphezulu ngokuphindwe kahlanu phakathi kwabantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezinengeniso engaphantsi kwenqanaba lobuhlwempu lesizwe).
• Abantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-4 ubudala.
• Abantwana abaneemfuno ezizodwa .

Oku akuthethi ukuba abanye abantwana abaxhatshazwa, kodwa kuthetha ukuba abantwana abakwezi ndidi basengozini enkulu.

Uyibona njani into yokuba umntwana uyaxhatshazwa?

Iimpawu zokuba umntwana uxhatshazwa azisoloko zibonakala. Usenokuqala uqaphele utshintsho kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo. Okanye angasabela ngendlela eyahlukileyo kwiimeko ezithile. Ukuba indlela aziphethe ngayo umntwana okanye isimo sakhe sengqondo siyatshintsha ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo, oko kungaba luphawu lokuxhatshazwa . Nazi ezinye iimpawu:

Iimpawu zomzimba:

• Ebonakala ingcolile kwaye ingakhathalelwanga.
• Ukuba nemivumbo, amanxeba, amanxeba , okanye iingxaki zolusu ezingaphiliyo ngendlela engachazekiyo.
• Iingxaki zonyango okanye zamazinyo ezinganyangwanga.
• Ukuba nentlungu kwindawo yesini.
• Ukopha kwamalungu esini ngaphandle kokuya exesheni rhoqo ngenyanga .
• Ukukhupha okanye intlungu engaqhelekanga.

Iimpawu zengqondo/zokuziphatha:

• Ukoyika umzali omnye okanye bobabini, okanye abo bakhathalela umntwana (umz., umnakekeli womntwana, abasebenzi beziko lokunyamekela abantwana, ootitshala, abaqeqeshi).
• Ukoyika umsebenzi okanye indawo ethile.
• Ukulila rhoqo, okanye ukukhala ngamaxesha angafanelekanga.
• Ukubuyela umva kukubuyela kwimikhwa yobuntwana.
• Ukuziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo kwabanye abantwana, ingakumbi ukuba lutshintsho olukhawulezileyo.
• Ukungafiki esikolweni rhoqo.
• Ukuba wedwa kwaye ungahlali nabanye abantu.
• Ukuxhaphaza abanye abantwana okanye abo bancinci kunabo, okanye ukuxhaphazwa ngabanye abantu.
• Ubunzima bokufunda nokugxila.
• Ukuphepha ukudibana nabantu abadala, oontanga, okanye abantu abadala kunawe.
• Ukuzama ukwenza izinto kakuhle kakhulu, okanye ukuzama ukukholisa abanye kakhulu.
• Ukuziphatha okanye intetho engaqhelekanga, evuselela inkanuko yesondo, ingakumbi leyo ebonakala ngathi ikhulile kakhulu okanye ingcolileyo.

Kufuneka silumke kakhulu xa sibona izinto ezinje.

Ngubani owenza ezi zenzo zonya?

Amaxesha amaninzi, umxhaphazi ngumntu omaziyo umntwana kwaye osondelelene nomntwana. Umzekelo:

• Umzali okanye elinye ilungu losapho.
• Umhlobo wosapho.
• Umntu oza kunyamekela umntwana.
• Nabani na osondeleyo kumntwana (utitshala, umqeqeshi, inkokheli yenkolo).
• Ngoontanga okanye abantwana abadala abaye baxhatshazwa nabo baze baphinde baxelise ezo zinto.

Le yeyona nxalenye ibuhlungu kakhulu. Ezi zinto zinokwenzeka nakubantu abamthembayo umntwana.

Kutheni abantu besenza oku ebantwaneni?

Kukho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba umntu angamxhaphaza umntwana:

• Ukuba nembali yokuxhatshazwa nabo ngokwabo: Abazali okanye abanye abantu abadala abaxhaphaza abantwana nabo basenokuba nabo baxhatshazwa besengabantwana. Kwakhona, kuba nabo baxhatshazwa, abanye banokulingeka ukuba babukele abantwana babo bexhatshazwa. Nangona kunjalo, ayingabo bonke abantu abaxhatshazwayo abaxhaphaza abanye. Uninzi lwabo alonzakalisi abantwana.
• Ubunzima ekunyamekeleni abantwana: Abanye abantu abadala bayabaxhaphaza abantwana babo kuba bengazi ukuba bangabaqeqesha njani okanye kuba benolindelo olungekho ngqiqweni malunga nokuziphatha komntwana wabo .
• Ukulawula umsindo: Abanye abaxhaphazi ngabantu abacaphukayo xa kukho into engahambi kakuhle. Basenokuba neengxaki kusapho, imali, umsebenzi, okanye ubudlelwane. Loo msindo nomsindo unokukhokelela ekuziphatheni ngobundlobongela. Ngamanye amaxesha, babona umntwana njengomthombo wengxaki, ngoko ke bayalingeka ukuba benze into nxamnye nomntwana.
• Iingxaki zempilo yengqondo ezinganyangwanga: Abantu abanesifo soxinzelelo, iingxaki zokusebenzisa iziyobisi, okanye iingxaki zobuntu basengozini enkulu yokuxhatshazwa ebantwaneni.

Ukuba ukhe waxhaphaza umntwana okanye wabona iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana, nceda ucele uncedo kwi-arhente yezempilo yengqondo yasekuhlaleni. Ukufumana uncedo kunokunceda ukuthintela okanye ukunciphisa ukwenzakala kwexesha elide komntwana.

Ugqirha uyaziqonda njani ezi meko?

Ugqirha uza kumhlola umntwana ngononophelo, ekhangela iimpawu zomzimba nezokuziphatha zokuxhatshazwa. Amagunya esithili okanye ephondo nawo angathatha inxaxheba kolu phando. Ukuxilongwa kungabandakanya:

• Uvavanyo lomzimba.
• Uvavanyo lwelabhoratri (olufana negazi, uvavanyo lomchamo).
• Ii-X-ray okanye ezinye iimvavanyo zomfanekiso.

Iqela lokuxilonga lenza oku kulandelayo:

• Ubuza ngembali yezonyango kunye nophuhliso lomntwana.
• Ujonga indlela umntwana aziphethe ngayo kunye nendlela asebenzisana ngayo nabazali okanye abanakekeli.
• Uthetha nabazali okanye abanakekeli.
• Ukuba kunokwenzeka, thetha nomntwana.

Luluphi unyango lomntwana oye waxhatshazwa?

Ukuba umntwana wenzakele emzimbeni, ubonakala engazi nto, okanye elahlekelwa zingqondo, unokufuna uncedo lwezonyango ngokukhawuleza . Landela ugqirha wakho okanye ubone ingcali njengoko kufuneka. Abantwana abaye baxhatshazwa badla ngokufuna unyango oluqhubekayo lwempilo yengqondo . Ingcebiso kunye nonyango lwengqondo kunokunceda ukuthintela ukuxhatshazwa kwixesha elizayo kunye nokunciphisa umonakalo wexesha elide. Ngexesha leeseshoni zonyango lwengqondo,Umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo ufundisa abantwana ukuzithemba, ukwakha ukuzithemba kwabo, nokubafundisa iindlela ezinempilo zobudlelwane kunye namaqhinga okulawula iingxabano.

Khumbula, unyango luluncedo nakubazali. Lunokubanceda bajongane nale meko, bachonge unobangela wokuxhatshazwa, baze bafunde amaqhinga aphilileyo okukhulisa abantwana.

Uyixela njani impatho-mbi yabantwana?

Ukuba ubona iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana, okanye ukuba kuyenzeka ekhayeni lakho, thatha inyathelo ngoko nangoko .

• Thetha nomntwana wakho: Thetha nomntwana wakho ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela aziphethe ngayo, okanye ukuba uqala ukusabela ngendlela entsha ecaphukisayo. Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo nolunobuhlobo (ngaphakathi kwemida ephilileyo) luya kuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba akuthembe kwaye azive ekhululekile ukukuxelela ukuba uziva engakhuselekanga. Xelela abantwana bakho ukuba bangoyiki ukukuxelela izinto, nokuba bacinga ukuba ziya kwenzakalisa umntu.

• Cela uncedo: Musa ukuvumela uloyiko okanye iintloni zikuthintele ekuceleni uncedo. Xa uxela ukuxhatshazwa kwabasemagunyeni, igama lakho aliyi kwabelwana ngalo nosapho okanye umntu obandakanyekayo. Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba umntwana uxhatshazwa, fowunela okanye uqhagamshelane no:
• Ukuba umntwana usengozini ekhawulezileyo , fowunela ku-119 (inombolo kaxakeka yamapolisa aseSri Lanka).
• Igunya lokukhusela abantwana lendawo yakho, amapolisa, okanye isibhedlele .
• Inombolo yomnxeba ye-National Child Rights Promotion Bureau (NCPA) yi-1929. Le nombolo isebenza iiyure ezingama-24 ngosuku.
• Ugqirha wezingane angakuthumela nakwiimeko zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana.
• Umcebisi wenkolo okanye wezomoya unokubonelela ngeengcebiso nenkxaso.

Kufuneka wenze ezi zinto:

• Gcina umntwana kude nomntu oxhaphazayo de abasemagunyeni baziswe.
• Naluphi na ulwalamano lwexesha elizayo naloo mntu kufuneka lube phantsi kweliso lakho.
• Ungaze usongele umntu orhanelwa ukuba uxhaphaza okanye uthathe umthetho ezandleni zakho.

Ukuba ukholelwa ukuba umxhaphazile umntwana, okanye usemngciphekweni wokuxhatshazwa:

• Thetha nomhlobo, ilungu losapho, kunye nengcali yezempilo.
• Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana ukhuselekile kwaye akakho kuwe ngeli xesha.
• Fumana umcebisi onokuqonda iimvakalelo zakho aze akuncede uphumelele kuzo.

Yintoni le 'mvume yokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana'? (Yintoni imvume yokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana?)

'Imvume yokuxhatshazwa komntwana' yinkqubo enceda umntu ukuba abonise ukuba akangomntu ophula umthetho. Kwamanye amazwe, abazali abakhulisa abantwana bafuna olu hlobo lwemvume. Kwakhona, ukuba ufuna ukusebenza nabantwana okanye ukuzithandela, unokufuna le 'mvume yokuxhatshazwa komntwana'. Le yinxalenye yenkqubo yesicelo enceda abaqeshi ukuba bakhethe abasebenzi abafanelekileyo. Le mithetho iyahluka ngokwamazwe ngamazwe.

Liza kuba njani ikamva labantwana abaye baxhatshazwa?

Abantwana abaxhatshazwayo banokuhlangabezana nezi zinto zilandelayo:

• Ukwenzakala kwangoko, kuquka ukusikwa, ukugruzuka, kunye nokuphuka kwamathambo.
• Ukwenzakala rhoqo.
• Imingeni yokufunda.
• Iingxaki zeemvakalelo, zengqondo, kunye nokuziphatha, kuquka nokudakumba.
• Ixhala kunye nobunzima ngezakhono zentlalo.
• Ukoyika abantu abadala okanye iindawo ezithile.

Ukuba ayinyangwa, ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana kunokuba nemiphumo ehlala ixesha elide ebantwaneni. Abantu abadala abasinde ekuxhatshazweni kwabantwana banamathuba amaninzi okuba neengxaki zentlalo nezeemvakalelo.

Bona:

• Ungabenzakalisa abanye okanye uvume ukuba buhlungu.
• Ungazama ukuzibulala.
• Ungabakhathalela abanye ngaphandle kokuxhalabela impilo-ntle yakho.
• Iingxaki zesondo zinokubakho, njengokuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni ngokwesondo okuyingozi, ukuba nesondo esigqithisileyo, okanye ukuphepha ngokupheleleyo isondo.
• Kunokuba nzima ukuthemba abantu.

Abo basindileyo banokufumana iingxaki zempilo kunye nokuziphatha xa sele bekhulile, ezinje ngezi:

• Iintlungu ezingapheliyo, iintloko ezibuhlungu zemihla ngemihla, i-Fibromyalgia, kunye nentlungu yesisu.
• Uxinzelelo.
• Ukuzijongela phantsi.
• Iingxaki zokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi okanye zokusetyenziswa kotywala.
• Uxinzelelo olunobungozi lunokuchaphazela uphuhliso lobuchopho kwaye lunyuse umngcipheko we-PTSD kunye neengxaki zokufunda, ingqalelo kunye nenkumbulo.

Ungayiphucula njani indlela umntwana oye waxhatshazwa alulame ngayo ixesha elide?

Fumana umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo . Unyango lunokunceda umntwana ukuba alungise okwenzekileyo, afunde ukwakha ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, kwaye anciphise iziphumo zexesha elide zokuxhatshazwa. Ukulawula impembelelo yeemvakalelo yokuxhatshazwa kunokuphucula impilo yomzimba yabantwana yexesha elide.

Ungamnceda njani umntwana okuxelele ngokuxhaphaza?

Ukuba umntwana ukuxelela ngokuxhatshazwa, yithathe nzulu loo nto . Musa ukuyithatha njengento engenamsebenzi okanye ucinge ukuba uyayenza okanye uyaxoka. Yenza ezi zinto ukukhusela umntwana wakho:

• Khuthaza unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo, mamela umntwana wakho xa ethetha, mvumele achaze okwenzekileyo ngamazwi akhe, mthuthuzele, kwaye umkhumbuze ukuba ulapho ukuze uthethe okanye umamele.
• Mkhumbuze umntwana ukuba ayilotyala lakhe ; akanaxanduva lokuxhatshazwa.
• Yahlula umntwana kumxhaphazi kwaye uqinisekise ukuba umntwana ukhuselekile.
• Nxibelelana nogqirha onokukukhokela kumanyathelo alandelayo.
• Fumana inkxaso eyongezelelweyo, efana neengcebiso, unyango, okanye amaqela enkxaso.
• Yiba nomonde - abantwana bayaphiliswa ngesantya esahlukileyo; mxhase umntwana wakho kulo lonke ixesha lokuphiliswa.

Yeyiphi imibuzo omele uyibuze ugqirha wakho wabantwana?

Ukuba umntwana wakho uxhatshaziwe, thetha nogqirha wezingane. Buza le mibuzo:

• Luluphi unyango lomzimba umntwana wam aludingayo ngoku?
• Luhlobo luni lonyango oluya kunceda umntwana wam?
• Ngaba unyango losapho luza kusinceda?
• Ndingamnceda njani umntwana wam ukuba aphile kwakhona?
• Ngaba kukho izinto esingafanele sizenze okanye sizitsho?
• Ndingamkhusela njani umntwana wam ngenye indlela?

Okokugqibela, eyona nto ibalulekileyo

Ngelishwa, ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana kuxhaphakile. Abantwana abaxhatshazwayo basengozini yeengxaki zempilo zangoku nezexesha elizayo. Nangona kunjalo, kukho ithemba lokuchacha . Funda ukuqaphela iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana, ezifana nomntwana oziphatha ngendlela engaqhelekanga okanye eyahlukileyo. Ukuba ukrokrela ukuxhatshazwa, mkhusele umntwana wakho kumxhaphazi kwaye ufune uncedo lweengcali. Iinkonzo zempilo yomzimba neyengqondo zinokunceda ukunciphisa iziphumo zexesha elide zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana. Thetha nogqirha wakho (okanye ugqirha womntwana wakho) malunga neendlela zokuyeka nokuthintela ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana. Abantwana bethu likamva lethu, kwaye luxanduva lwethu ukubakhusela.

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Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana , ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana, ukhuseleko lwabantwana, impilo yengqondo, ukhathalelo lwabantwana, iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana, ukucela uncedo