Ngaba wakha waphawula ukuba umntwana wakho omncinci udakumbile, unomsindo, okanye uthule ngaphezu kwesiqhelo? Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana abancinci bazive bedakumbile kwaye bedanile. Akumangalisi ukuba uzive udabukile xa ulwa nomhlobo okanye xa unemviwo enzima. Kodwa ukuba olu dakumbi alupheli kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, kodwa luqhubeka iiveki, lunokuba nzulu ngaphezu kokuba sicinga. Njengomzali, akukho mntu unokuziva olu tshintsho kumntwana wakho ngaphezu kwakho. Ke namhlanje, masithethe ngale meko ibizwa ngokuba kukudandatheka, enokuchaphazela nabantwana abancinci.
Ngaba abantwana abancinci bayaxinezeleka ngokwenene?
Ewe. Impendulo yalo mbuzo ithi, "Ewe ngokuqinisekileyo." Sihlala sicinga ukuba uxinzelelo yinto echaphazela abantu abadala kuphela. Kodwa inyani yile, uxinzelelo alunakuchaphazela abantwana abakwiminyaka yesikolo kuphela, kodwa luchaphazela nabantwana abancinci nabantwana abancinci.
Oku akubangelwa kukuziphatha kakubi komntwana okanye kumzali. Ukuchaneka, ukudakumba sisifo sengqondo esichaphazela abantu abadala nabantwana. Kubangelwa lutshintsho kwiikhemikhali ezithile (ii-neurotransmitters) engqondweni yethu. Abanye abantwana banokuba notyekelo lwemfuza koku.
Ngamafutshane, kufana nokuba abanye abantwana bazalwa benetalente ekhethekileyo yomculo okanye ubugcisa. Ngokufanayo, abanye abantwana banokuba neengxaki zemfuza ezifana nokudakumba.
Uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba - Yintoni edibanisa ezi zinto zimbini?
Iingcali zithi ixhala liqheleke kakhulu kunexinzelelo, ingakumbi ngaphambi kokuba umntwana afikelele ebuntwini. Enyanisweni, abantwana abanengxaki yexhala besengabantwana basengozini enkulu yokuba noxinzelelo xa sele bekhulile. Izifundo zibonise ukuba malunga nesiqingatha sabantwana abancinci abanengxaki yokudakumba babenengxaki enxulumene nexhala besengabantwana.
Ngoko ke, yimpazamo eyingozi kakhulu ukunciphisa ixhala lomntwana ngokuthi, "Kunjalo kanye, kuya kulunga xa ekhula." Ezi meko zibangela uxinzelelo olukhulu lwengqondo kumntwana kwaye ziphazamise nemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni umntwana azive engenathemba. Oku kuphelelwa lithemba kuko okumtyhalela umntwana kwinqanaba lokuba azilimaze.
Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zexhala eziqhelekileyo phakathi kwabantwana abancinci.
| Uhlobo loxinzelelo | Ithetha ntoni le nto? |
|---|---|
| Ukukhathazeka Ngokwahlukana | Aba bantwana banoloyiko olukhulu lokulimaza usapho lwabo (umama, utata, abantakwabo noodadewabo). Ngenxa yoko, bayoyika kakhulu ukwahlukaniswa nabazali babo, ingakumbi ukuya esikolweni. Ngeentsuku zesikolo, banokuba neentlungu zesisu kunye nentloko ebuhlungu. Le ntlungu ayiveli emzimbeni, kodwa ibangelwa kuxinzelelo lwengqondo oluvela kwingqondo. |
| Ukoyika Abantu | Aba bantwana banengxaki yokuthetha nokusebenzisana nabanye abantu, ingakumbi esikolweni. Nangona benokuthetha kakuhle nabazali babo ekhaya, basenokungathethi nto nakubani na ngaphandle. Esi sisizathu sokuba bangafuni ukuya esikolweni. |
| Ingxaki yokuxhalaba ngokubanzi | Aba bantwana baxhalaba ngokungeyomfuneko nangokugqithisileyo ngekamva. Khawuthelekelele umntwana webanga lesithathu exhalabile ngendlela aza kufika ngayo ekhampasini. Ukuba umbuza, 'Udlale njani namhlanje?' usenokuphendula athi, 'Ndifake amanqaku amabini,' aze athi, 'Kodwa ndixhalabile ngovavanyo lopelo ngomso.' |
Ndingazi njani ukuba umntwana wam unesifo sokudakumba?
Njengomzali, ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo, yiba nexhala. Ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakalisa olunye okanye ngaphezulu kwezi mpawu zilandelayo kangangeeveki ezingaphezu kwezimbini, oko kungaba luphawu lokudakumba.
| Uphawu | Ingcaciso encinci |
|---|---|
| Ndihlala ndiziva ndilusizi, ndilila | Ukuhlala ulusizi kwaye ulila ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile. |
| Ukungazithandi izinto obuzithanda ngaphambili | Nangona ubukade ukonwabela ukudlala, ukuzoba, okanye ukubukela iTV, ngoku awunamdla okanye uvuyo kwezo zinto. Oku kungakwazi ukonwaba yenye yeempawu eziphambili zokudakumba. |
| Ukukhetha ukuba wedwa | Nangona unethuba lokudlala nabahlobo, uyaliphepha uze uzame ukuhlala wedwa egumbini lakho. |
| Ukuhlala unomsindo, unomsindo | Bacaphuka ngezinto ezincinci, baqale iingxabano, baze baziphathe ngendlela engafanelekanga. |
| Ukuzicingela kakubi | Bathi izinto ezinje, "Andinamsebenzi," "Akukho mntu undithandayo," kunye "Ndingumngeni womntu wonke." |
| Iintlungu zomzimba rhoqo | Bahlala bekhalaza ngeentlungu zesisu kunye neentloko ezibuhlungu ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile. |
| Ukuphazamiseka komsebenzi wesikolo | Ukungafuni ukuya esikolweni, ukungakwazi ukugxila emsebenzini nokuba uya esikolweni, amanqaku aphantsi. |
| Utshintsho kwindlela yokutya kunye nokulala | Ukuncipha okanye ukwanda kokutya ngequbuliso. Ukungakwazi ukulala ebusuku okanye ukuziva ulele imini yonke. |
| Iingcinga okanye amabali ayingozi | Ukuthetha ngokubaleka ekhaya, ukuthetha ngokufa, ukuthetha ngeengcinga zokuzilimaza. Ukuba ubona into efana nale, kufuneka ufune iingcebiso zonyango ngokukhawuleza. |
Umazi kakuhle umntwana wakho. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba kukho utshintsho kwindlela aziphethe ngayo umntwana wakho kwaye alupheli, nceda ungayityesheli loo mvakalelo. Phanda loo ngcamango. Eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukubona ugqirha uze ufumane ingcebiso.
Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho? - Inyathelo lokuqala kukufumanisa isifo ngokuchanekileyo
Ngaphambi kokuba sincede umntwana, kufuneka sazi kakuhle imeko akuyo umntwana. Njengoko enye ingcali isitsho, "Ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo kumntwana onesifo soxinzelelo yindawo, indawo, indawo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kumntwana onesifo soxinzelelo kukuxilongwa, ukuxilongwa, ukuxilongwa ."
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale unyango, kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uxinezelekile ngokwenene na. Ungamsa umntwana wakho kugqirha wabantwana, kwingcali yengqondo yabantwana, okanye kwingcali yengqondo.
Xa ubona ugqirha, ungambuza le mibuzo:
- "Gqirha, injani imeko yomntwana wam?"
- "Ndicela ucacise ngendlela endiyiqondayo?"
- "Zithini iindlela zonyango zoku?"
Zithini iindlela zonyango?
Xa umntwana efunyaniswe ukuba unesifo sokudakumba, kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zonyango. Le asiyonto inokunyangeka ngobusuku obunye. Yinto ekufuneka yenziwe ngentsebenziswano yabazali, ugqirha, kunye nomntwana.
1. Ukunika iingcebiso (Unyango lwezengqondo/uNgcebiso): Oku kubaluleke kakhulu. Ukunika iingcebiso kunceda umntwana aqonde iimvakalelo zakhe, azilawule, kwaye zimnike amandla okujongana neengxaki. Ngamanye amaxesha namanye amalungu osapho kufuneka athathe inxaxheba koku (Unyango lwezentsapho).
2. Amayeza: Kwezinye iimeko, ugqirha angakunika amayeza okudakumba. Akukho mfuneko yokoyika la mayeza. Xa echongiwe kakuhle aze anikwe phantsi kweliso likagqirha, la mayeza anokukhuseleka kakhulu kwaye asebenze kakuhle. Kodwa khumbula, amayeza akangomlingo. Iziphumo ezilungileyo zifumaneka xa zidityaniswe neengcebiso.
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ukungamniki amayeza kunemiphumo emibi. Oko kukuthi, umntwana uza kuqhubeka egula. Ngoko ke, thetha nogqirha wakho ngononophelo phambi kokuba wenze naziphi na izigqibo malunga noku.
Ngaba konke ukudakumba kukudandatheka?
Hayi. Oku kukwayinto ekufuneka siyiqonde. Ubomi babanye abantwana buyabuhlungu kakhulu. Iingxaki zentsapho, iingxabano zabazali, ubunzima bezoqoqosho, iingxaki esikolweni, njl.njl. zinokwenza umntwana abe lusizi aze adideke. Oku kubizwa ngokuba kukudakumba.Oku kwahlukile kuxinzelelo. Kuqhelekile ukuba lusizi xa ubomi bunzima. Kwakhona, abanye abantwana banokubonisa iimpawu zoxinzelelo ngenxa yoxinzelelo lwemfundo ekhuphisanayo kakhulu kunye nemisebenzi yangaphandle kwesikolo.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Kwanabantwana abancinci banokuba noxinzelelo. Asikuko okomntwana okanye abazali bakhe.
- Ukuba iimpawu zomntwana wakho zosizi, umsindo, okanye ubulolo zihlala ixesha elingaphezu kweeveki ezimbini, xhalaba.
- Ukuba ubona utshintsho kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo, musa ukulutyeshela kuba “luya kuba ngcono xa ekhula.” Funa ingcebiso kagqirha ngoko nangoko.
- Ngaphambi kokuba uqale unyango, kubalulekile ukufumana ukuxilongwa ngokuchanekileyo kwento ebangela ukuba umntwana abe nesifo.
- Unyango alupheleli nje kumayeza. Ingcebiso nothando nenkxaso oyinikayo njengomzali nazo zibaluleke kakhulu ukuze umntwana wakho aphile ngokukhawuleza.
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