Ngaba nawe unayo intlungu ongenakukwazi ukuyinyamezela? Masithethe ngayo (Intlungu Enzima)

Ngaxa lithile ebomini bethu, xa silahlekelwa ngumntu osondeleyo kuthi, nokuba lilungu losapho, umhlobo, okanye umntu esimthandayo, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva usizi olukhulu nentlungu. Yiyo loo nto. Olu sizi luyaphela kancinci kancinci ngokuhamba kwexesha, size siphinde siziqhelanise nobomi obuqhelekileyo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, olu sizi alupheli, luhlala ezintliziyweni zethu, lube lubi ngakumbi nangakumbi, kwaye asikwazi nokwenza imisebenzi yethu yemihla ngemihla ngokufanelekileyo. Yiloo nto siyibiza ngokwezonyango ngokuthi 'usizi oluntsonkothileyo ', uhlobo losizi oludlula usizi oluqhelekileyo, oluhlala ixesha elide, kwaye lunzima .

Yintoni ke le (Intlungu Enzima)?

Ngamafutshane, intlungu enzima luhlobo lwentlungu enzima kakhulu nehlala ixesha elide eyenzeka emva kokulahlekelwa ngumntu. Kolu hlobo lwentlungu, iimvakalelo neengcinga ozivayo azipheli ngokuhamba kwexesha. Endaweni yoko, zinokuziva ngathi zihlala zijikeleza engqondweni yakho, zithatha usuku lwakho lonke, ubomi bakho bonke.

Ngokwesiqhelo, xa silahlekelwa ngumntu, siziva ngathi sivaleleke emngxunyeni wodaka, silahlekile enkungwini, okanye sizama ukuphuma emanzini. Kunokubakho intlungu, usizi, mhlawumbi nomsindo. Kodwa emva kwexesha elithile, siyayiyeka size siqale ukuphila ubomi bethu kwakhona. Nangona kunjalo, kule meko ibizwa ngokuba yi-(Complicated Grief), oko akwenzeki. Loo ntlungu ayizipheli yodwa. Ichaphazela umzimba wakho nengqondo yakho, kwaye ikwenza udinwe kakhulu.

Ukuba unentlungu enzima, ungaziva oku:

• Ndiziva ndithwele umthwalo onganyamezelekiyo malunga nesizathu sokulahlekelwa okanye iziganeko ezenzeke ngelo xesha.
• Le lahleko indenza ndizive ndixhalabile kakhulu ngento eza kwenzeka kwixesha elizayo.
• Bazama ukuphepha izinto ezibakhumbuza umntu abamlahlekeleyo, okanye bazalisa iingqondo zabo ngezo nkumbulo.

Oogqirha basebenzisa amanye amagama aliqela kwesi simo (i-Complicated Grief):

• `(Intlungu ende)` (Intlungu ende)
• `(Usizi olungapheliyo)` (Usizi olungapheliyo)
• `(Ingxaki yokufelwa engapheliyo)` (Ingxaki yokufelwa engapheliyo)

Yintoni umahluko phakathi kwentlungu eqhelekileyo kunye nentlungu enzima?

Sonke sihlangabezana nosizi ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Abanye abantu banokuluphelisa kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, ngelixa abanye banokuthatha iinyanga. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Kodwa umahluko ophambili phakathi kweComplicated Grief kunye nezinye iintlobo zosizi kukuba lunokuhlala iinyanga ezintandathu okanye unyaka emva kokulahlekelwa kwaye lunokuchaphazela ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla ukuya kwinqanaba apho ungakwazi ukusebenza khona.

Khawucinge nje, umama womhlobo wakho osenyongweni uyasweleka. Kwiiveki okanye kwiinyanga zokuqala ezimbalwa, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abe lusizi, akhale, aphelelwe ngumdla wokutya, kwaye angalali. Kodwa emva konyaka, ukuba akatyi okanye akaseli kakuhle, akayi emsebenzini, akathethi namntu, kwaye uhlala ekhala kwaye ecinga ngomama wakhe olahlekileyo, ngoko ke kufuneka sikhathazeke kancinci. Oko kungaba yimeko ye (Intlungu Enzima).

Ngaba wonke umntu ujamelana nentlungu ngendlela eyahlukileyo?

Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo. Nangona sonke sibuhlungu xa sifelwe ngumntu, indlela esisingatha ngayo nesijongana ngayo nobuhlungu obunjalo inokwahluka kumntu nomntu. Kukho izinto ezininzi ezinokuchaphazela oku:

• Imvelaphi yakho: indlela owakhuliswa ngayo, amava akho.
• Iinkolelo zakho: Iinkolelo zonqulo, indlela ojonga ngayo ubomi.
• Ulwalamano nomntu olahlekileyo: Indlela awayesondele ngayo loo mntu kuwe nendlela awayebaluleke ngayo ebomini bakho.

Sonke sinobuntu obahlukeneyo. Kwaye indawo esihlala kuyo nayo iyasichaphazela. Zonke ezi zinto zichaphazela indlela esihlangabezana ngayo nentlungu.

Ixhaphake kangakanani le meko ibizwa ngokuba yi-(Complicated Grief)?

Ngokusekelwe kuphando olwenziweyo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, kuqikelelwa ukuba malunga ne-7% yabantu abadala abahlangabezana nosizi banokuhlangabezana nosizi olunzima. Le yimeko entsha eyongeziweyo kwi-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), eyincwadi echaza iingxaki zengqondo. Ke ngoko, uphando olongezelelweyo luyaqhubeka ngale nto.

Zithini iimpawu ze-Complicated Grief?

Ukuba uneNhlungu Enzima, unokufumana enye okanye ngaphezulu kwezi mpawu:

• Iingcinga eziphazamisayo neziphazamisayo malunga nokulahlekelwa ezingaphaya kwamandla okuthwala.
• Ukuziva ulangazelela kakhulu, intlungu yengqondo enganyamezelekiyo (ukuziva ngathi umntu olahlekileyo uza kubuya).
• Ukukhanyela, ukuphepha, okanye ukungawunaki umthandazo okhumbuza ngokulahlekelwa. Okanye, endaweni yoko, uzame ukuzingqonge ngezikhumbuzo zomntu olahlekileyo (umz., iimpahla, imifanekiso).
• Ukuziva ngathi akukho njongo ebomini emva kokulahlekelwa.
• Kunzima ukwamkela ukuba ilahleko yenzekile.

Ukongeza, intlungu enzima inokubangela ezi ngxaki zilandelayo:

• Iingcinga zokuzibulala .
• Ukungalali .
• Uxinzelelo oluqatha.
• Ukutya akunancasa.
• Ubunzima bokunxulumana nabanye abantu, ukuzama ukuba wedwa.
• Ukuwohloka kwempilo yomzimba.
• Ubunzima bokugcina ubudlelwane nabanye kunye nokufezekisa uxanduva lomntu.

Kubalulekile: Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo uneengcinga zokuzibulala, nceda ufune uncedo ngoko nangoko kugqirha, kumcebisi wezempilo yengqondo , okanye kumntu omthembayo. Musa ukuzimela wedwa.

Zithini izizathu ze (Intlungu Enzima)?

Eyona sizathu siphambili sale meko kukulahlekelwa . Kusenokuba kukufa komntu omthandayo, uqhawulo-mtshato, mhlawumbi into efana nokulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi okanye ukufuduka. Ukulahlekelwa kuchaphazela abantu ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kwabanye, kunokuba nefuthe elide.

Ngubani osengozini enkulu yokufumana i-Complicated Grief?

Ukuba unenye yezi zinto zilandelayo, usenokuba sengozini enkulu yokuba ne-Complicated Grief:

• Ukujamelana nokulahlekelwa ngequbuliso, okungalindelekanga:Umzekelo, ukufa kwingozi okanye ukuzibulala.
• Ukuphulukana nomntu osondele kakhulu kusapho lwakho: njengomzali, umntakwenu, umntwana, okanye iqabane lakho.
• Ukuba nolwalamano olusondeleyo nolobuqu nomntu olahlekelwe nguye.
• Ukufumana ingozi enkulu ngexesha lokulahlekelwa.
• Ukuba nesifo sengqondo esele sikhona (umz., `(Uxinzelelo)` okanye `(Ukuxhalaba)`).

Ziziphi iingxaki ezinokubakho ngenxa ye-Complicated Grief?

Intlungu Enzima inokuchaphazela ingqondo yakho kunye nomzimba wakho. Ezinye zeengxaki zempilo ezihlala ixesha elide ezinokubangelwa yiyo ziquka:

• Uxinzelelo .
• Ixhala .
• Ukungondleki kakuhle okanye ukuphelelwa ngamanzi emzimbeni (ngenxa yokungatyi okanye ukungaseli kakuhle).
• Ingxaki yoxinzelelo emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu (PTSD) .
• Isifo sentliziyo .
• Igazi elonyukayo .
• Ingxaki yokusebenzisa iziyobisi okanye ingxaki yokusebenzisa utywala. Ngenxa yokungakwazi ukumelana nentlungu, abanye abantu banokubhenela etywaleni okanye kwiziyobisi, nto leyo eyenza imeko ibe mandundu.

Indlela yokuqaphela (Intlungu Enzima)?

Ugqirha nguye onokubona ngokwenene ukuba unentlungu enzima okanye awunayo. Baza kuqwalasela ezi zinto zilandelayo:

• Ingaba iimpawu zakho zosizi ziyichaphazele na impilo yakho yomzimba, yengqondo, kunye nentlalo .
• Nokuba ezi mpawu ziyaqhubeka na emva kokulahlekelwa ubuncinane unyaka kwimeko yomntu omdala, okanye iinyanga ezintandathu kwimeko yomntwana omncinci.
• Nokuba ubusoloko uhlangabezana nezi mpawu imihla ngemihla ubuncinane inyanga ngaphambi kokuba uxilongwe.

Ukongeza, ukuqinisekisa ukuxilongwa, ugqirha uya kujonga ubuncinane ezintathu kwezi mpawu zilandelayo:

• Kuvakala ngathi inxalenye yakho ifile ngenxa yokulahlekelwa.
• Ukungafuni ukwamkela ukuba ilahleko yenzekile.
• Ukuphepha izinto ezikukhumbuza ngokulahlekelwa.
• Ukuziva intlungu enzulu engqondweni.
• Ukungakwazi ukuzibandakanya kwimisebenzi yoluntu nosapho kunye nabahlobo.
• Ukulahlekelwa ziimvakalelo, okanye ukuziva ungaziva mnandi ngokweemvakalelo.
• Ukuziva ngathi ubomi abunantsingiselo emva kokulahlekelwa.
• Ubulolo, ukuziva wahlukene nabanye abantu.

Ziziphi iindlela zonyango lwe-Complicated Grief?

Kukho unyango lwe-Complicated Grief. Abantu abaninzi bafumana unyango olubizwa ngokuba yi -Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) luluncedo kakhulu. Ngamafutshane, i-CBT:

• Ukukunceda wamkele inyani yokulahlekelwa.
• Ukukunceda ulungelelane nobomi ngale lahleko.
• Ukukunceda uqhagamshelane nezinto owazenza ngaphambi kokuba ulahlekelwe zizo, abantu owawunabo.
• Ukukunceda ufezekise iinjongo zakho ngokuphilisa engqondweni nasemzimbeni.

Kwakhona, ukujoyina amaqela enkxaso yabaswelekelweyo kunokuba luncedo kakhulu. La ngamaqela apho abantu abaye balahlekelwa ngendlela efanayo nani banokudibana khona baze baqonde intlungu yenu. Apho ninokwabelana ngamava enu, nimamele abanye, kwaye nizive ngathi aniwedwa.

Ukuba unezinye iingxaki ezibangelwa yiComplicated Grief, ezinje ngokudakumba, ugqirha wakho unokukunika amayeza anjenge -antidepressants .

Ndiza kuziva ngcono ngokukhawuleza kangakanani emva konyango?

Akukho xesha lichanekileyo loku. Inkqubo yokuchacha yomntu wonke kunye nezinga lokuchacha zahlukile. Kungathatha iinyanga, okanye kungathatha iminyaka ukuba uqale uzive ungcono. Ingcali yakho yezonyango iza kusebenza nawe ukucwangcisa unyango lwakho ngokusekelwe kwiinjongo zakho. Kubalulekile ukuba nomonde nokuzinikela kunyango lwakho.

Ndimele ndilindele ntoni ukuba ndine (Intlungu Enzima)?

Ukuphila nokulahlekelwa akulula. Ingqondo yakho izaliswe ziimvakalelo, kwaye inokuchaphazela nempilo yakho yomzimba. Ukuba ezi ngcinga neemvakalelo ziyakulawula ubomi bakho, ngokuqinisekileyo funa ingcebiso kagqirha. Ukuba kunzima ukujongana nawe wedwa, cela uncedo kwilungu losapho olithembileyo okanye kumhlobo, njengokuya kugqirha wokuqala.

Khumbula, intlungu enzima yimeko enokunyangeka. Ungaphucuka ngonyango kunye namaqela enkxaso. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba uqale phi, thetha nomboneleli wakho oyintloko. Yena angakunika ulwalathiso olufunayo. Kwaye ukuba intlungu yakho ichaphazela impilo yakho yomzimba, unokukunceda nangaloo nto.

Ngaba i-Complicated Grief ingathintelwa?

Akukho ndlela yokuthintela ngokupheleleyo i-Complicated Grief. Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto onokuzenza ukunciphisa umngcipheko wakho:

• Ukuthetha nomcebisi wezempilo yengqondo emva kokulahlekelwa.
• Ukwakha inkqubo eqinileyo yenkxaso yabantu abakuthandayo nabakuqondayo.
• Ukujoyina iqela lenkxaso yosizi emva kokulahlekelwa.

Ndifanele ndimbone nini ugqirha?

Ukuba usaziva ubuhlungu obukhulu nangona sele kudlule unyaka emva kokulahlekelwa, kwaye intlungu ikuthintele ekwenzeni imisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla nokuphila ubomi obuqhelekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka ubone ugqirha.Ugqirha angakunceda uphile.

Ngokukodwa, ukuba uziva udandathekile ngobomi kwaye ucinga ngokuzibulala, nceda ungalibazisi okomzuzwana kwaye ufune ingcebiso kagqirha ngokukhawuleza okanye uxelele umntu omthembayo.

Ndingayibuza yiphi imibuzo ugqirha wam?

Xa undwendwela ugqirha, kunokuba luncedo ukubuza imibuzo efana nale:

• Ziziphi izixhobo zokunceda xa ndifelwe ezifumanekayo ukuze ndikwazi ukumelana nentlungu? Ndingabhekisa kuzo?
• Ngaba kufuneka ndithethe nogqirha wengqondo ?
• Ngaba kuya kufuneka ndithathe amayeza? Ukuba kunjalo, zithini iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga?
• Ngaba le meko (Yokudandatheka Okunzima) inokubangela iziphumo ezihlala ixesha elide kum?
• Ndingabuyela njani kwindlela yam yesiqhelo?
• Ndicinga ngokuzibulala. Ungandinceda ndifumane unyango lwazo?

Okokugqibela, khumbula... (Umyalezo oya nawo ekhaya)

Intlungu Enzima ingavakala ngathi ngumthwalo omkhulu esifubeni sakho, umjikelo ongapheliyo wentlungu yeemvakalelo. Kunokuba nzima ukoyisa lo mthwalo wedwa ngaphandle konyango. Nangona iimpawu zakho zinokuphucuka ngokuhamba kwexesha ngonyango olufana nonyango lwe-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), iimvakalelo ezinxulumene nokulahlekelwa zinokuvela kwakhona ebomini bakho bonke. Iiholide kunye nezikhumbuzo zinokuba nzima kakhulu.

Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuqonda ukuba awuwedwa kolu hambo. Kukho abantu abanokukunceda, babe nawe, kwaye bakuphulaphule kwezi zihlandlo zinzima nezinzima. Ngoko ungaze unqikaze ukucela uncedo, ukuthetha, nokufuna unyango. Ungaphila.

Intlungu enzima , usizi, ukulahlekelwa, impilo yengqondo, unyango lwentlungu, i-CBT, ingcebiso yengqondo