Sihlala sithetha ngobukrelekrele, akunjalo? Ukuba umntu ufunda kakuhle aze aphumelele iimviwo, sithi, "Owu, unengqondo entle." Kodwa ubusazi na ukuba ukuze uphumelele kwaye wonwabe kweli hlabathi, ukuba ne-IQ ephezulu kuphela akwanelanga? Kukho olunye uhlobo olukhethekileyo lobukrelekrele—Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, okanye oko sihlala sikubiza ngokuba yi-EQ .
Ngaba Ubukrelekrele Bumalunga ne-IQ Nje?
Usenokuba ukhe weva abantu besithi, "Owu, akufuneki ndifunde kakhulu; i-IQ yam iphezulu kakhulu." I-IQ imele i -Intellectual Quotient . Yindlela yokulinganisa esetyenziselwa ukulinganisa izinto ezifana nokukwazi komntu ukufunda kunye nokuqiqa okunengqiqo. Inokuqikelela, ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elithile, ukuba umntu angaqhuba kakuhle kangakanani esikolweni okanye eyunivesithi.
Nangona kunjalo, i-IQ ayisiyo yodwa indlela yokulinganisa amandla ethu. Cinga ngokuba zingaphi ezinye izakhono ezikhoyo kweli hlabathi:
- Abanye abantu banesiphiwo esikhulu kubuchule bokucinga ngendawo —njengabakhi bezakhiwo kunye namagcisa abona ihlabathi ngokwamanqanaba amathathu.
- Abanye banobuchule bomculo , bekwazi ngokwemvelo ukuqonda isigqi, ithoni, kunye nesandi.
- Kukwakho nezakhono zemidlalo, ubugcisa, kunye nezakhono zobugcisa... zonke ezi ziintlobo ezahlukeneyo zobukrelekrele.
Phakathi kwezi, kukho obunye ubukrelekrele obukhethekileyo obubalulekileyo ebomini bethu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha bungakhathalelwa: Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo (EQ) .
Yintoni kanye kanye i-Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
Ngamafutshane, i-Emotional Intelligence kukukwazi kwakho ukuqonda, ukusebenzisa, nokulawula iimvakalelo zakho . Abanye bayibiza ngokuba yi-EQ (Emotional Quotient), ngelixa abanye beyibiza ngokuba yi-EI (Emotional Intelligence). Njengokuba umntu one-IQ ephezulu enokufumana amanqaku aphezulu kwiimviwo, umntu one-EQ ephezulu uhlala ephumelela kakhulu kwiincoko zoluntu nakwiimeko ezixineneyo ngokweemvakalelo.
Cinga ngokuba ne-EQ ephezulu "njengokuba nesiphiwo sokuqonda nokunxibelelana nabantu." Xa unokubaqonda abantu othetha nabo kwaye usebenza nabo, kuya kukunceda uphumelele kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi. Enyanisweni, ezinye izifundo zibonisa ukuba ekusebenzeni esikolweni nakwimpumelelo yomsebenzi, i-EQ ngamanye amaxesha inokuba yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kune-IQ.
Ngaba unabahlobo abaninzi abalungileyo? Ngaba kulula kuwe ukuqonda iingxaki zabanye? Ngaba ungakwazi ukulawula umsindo wakho? Zonke ezi zinto zinxulumene ne -EQ yakho.
Abanye abantu baneziphiwo ngokwemvelo ze-EQ ephezulu. Kodwa kwabanye, ezi zakhono zinokufundwa kwaye zisetyenziswe. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba wonke umntu unokuphucula! Ngokungafaniyo ne-IQ, i-EQ yinto onokuyakha ngomzamo nokuziqhelanisa. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka wazi indlela yokwenza loo nto, akunjalo?
Uyiphucula njani iNgqondo yakho yeMvakalelo (EQ)?
Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo asinto nje enye, yindibaniselwano yezakhono ezahlukeneyo. Makhe sihlolisise ukuba ziyintoni na kwaye singaziphuhlisa njani.
1. Yazi Iimvakalelo Zakho
Sonke siva iimvakalelo ezininzi imini yonke. Ezinye (njengokumangaliswa) ziyaphela ngemizuzwana, ngelixa ezinye (njengovuyo okanye usizi) zihlala ixesha elide kwaye zibumba indlela esivakalelwa ngayo. Ukuchonga ezi mvakalelo nokuzinika igama sisixhobo esisisiseko se-EQ.
Ukuzazi—ukuma nje ucinge, “Owu, ndiziva ngolu hlobo ngoku”—kukunceda ukuba ulawule iimvakalelo zakho. Kukwakunceda ukuba uvelane nendlela abanye abanokuba baziva ngayo.
Abanye abantu bachitha usuku lwabo lonke bengaqondi ukuba baziva njani. Zama ukuchonga iimvakalelo zakho njengoko zisenzeka. Zinike igama engqondweni (umz., "Ndiziva ndinombulelo kakhulu ngoku," okanye "Ndiziva ndidanile kakhulu"). Yenza oku kube ngumkhwa wemihla ngemihla. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uya kuqonda ukuba sele uyiqonda ngakumbi imeko yakho yeemvakalelo.
2. Zama Ukuqonda Abanye (Uvelwano)
Njengabantu, sidityaniswe ukuze siqhagamshelane. Elinye icandelo elibalulekileyo le-EQ kukukwazi ukuqonda indlela abanye abanokuvakalelwa ngayo kwimeko ethile.kwaye kutheni bevakalelwa ngaloo ndlela.
Nokuba singazi kakuhle ukuba umntu udlula kweyiphi na imeko, ukukwazi ukucinga, "Owu, kumele ukuba uziva ngolu hlobo ngoku," kubizwa ngokuba yi-Empathy . I-Empathy isinceda sibakhathalele abanye size sakhe ubudlelwane obuqinileyo. Isinceda siqonde indlela yokwenza okanye into esimele siyithethe xa umntu enengxaki.
Cinga ngomhlobo okhathazekileyo kuba engaphumelelanga kuviwo. Usenokungaziva intlungu yakhe ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ukuba ucinga ukuba, "Ndingaziva njani ukuba bendikwimeko yakhe?" uze uthethe amazwi athuthuzelayo, yiyo loo nto uyenzayo.
3. Lawula Iimvakalelo Zakho Uze Uphendule Ngokufanelekileyo
Sonke siyacaphuka size sicaphuke. Kubalulekile ukuveza indlela ovakalelwa ngayo, kodwa ukulawula indlela ophendula ngayo kuthetha ukwazi ukuba uza kuziveza nini, phi, kwaye njani iimvakalelo zakho.
Ukuba uyaziqonda iimvakalelo zakho, ungasebenzisa ukuzibamba ukuze ubambe impendulo ekhawulezileyo ukuba ixesha okanye indawo ayifanelekanga. Umntu one-EQ ephezulu uyazi ukuba ukusabela ngokungxama, ngobundlobongela, okanye ngokungenantlonelo kunokonakalisa ubudlelwane.
Umzekelo, ukuba ucaphuka kumphathi wakho emsebenzini, ngaba kulungile ukukhwaza uze uvale ucango? Okanye kungcono ukuthabatha umzuzwana, uvumele umsindo uphele, uze uxoxe ngolu daba ngokuzolileyo? Umntu one-EQ ephezulu ukhetha ukhetho lwesibini. Bayaqonda ukuba ukulawula iimvakalelo nokuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kubalulekile. Oku kunceda ekunciphiseni uxinzelelo kwaye kunokukukhusela nakwiingxaki zempilo zomzimba ezifana noxinzelelo lwegazi oluphezulu.
4. Khetha Indlela Ovakalelwa Ngayo
Enye inxalenye yokulawula iimvakalelo kukukhetha iimvakalelo zakho. Iimvakalelo ziimeko zeemvakalelo ezihlala ixesha elide. Sinamandla okugqiba ukuba loluphi uhlobo lweemvakalelo olufanelekileyo kwimeko ethile size singene kuyo. Ukukhetha iimvakalelo ezifanelekileyo kukunceda uhlale ukhuthazekile, ugxile, okanye uqinile endaweni yokunikezela.
Abantu abane-EQ ephezulu bayazi ukuba iimvakalelo azizozinto nje "ezenzekayo" kuthi. Ngokuqonda ukuba yeyiphi imvakalelo efanelekileyo kwimeko ethile nokwazi indlela yokutshintshela kuyo, singakwazi ukulawula. Cinga ngentetho ebalulekileyo onayo. Usenokuziva unexhala kwangaphambili. Kodwa ukuba ungenza ngabom ingqiqo yokukholelwa ngokuthi, "Hayi, ndiza kukwenza oku kakuhle, ndingakwenza," kwaye utshintshele kwimvakalelo yokuzithemba neyomdla ngakumbi—oko kukwayinxalenye ye-EQ.
I-EQ yinto oyakhayo ngokuhamba kwexesha
Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo bukhula njengoko sikhula. Ukuba bekungenjalo, wonke umntu omdala ebeya kuziphatha njengomntwana omncinci—ekhala, ekhala, aze akhuphe umsindo ngaphandle kokulawulwa ziimvakalelo.
Ezinye izakhono ze-EQ zikhula kwangethuba kunezinye. Umzekelo, wakuba uyazi into omawuyinike ingqalelo, kuba lula ukuchonga iimvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, izakhono ezifana nokulawula iimpendulo zakho okanye ukukhetha indlela ovakalelwa ngayo zinokubonakala kunzima ukuzilawula. Oku kungenxa yokuba inxalenye yengqondo yethu enoxanduva lokuzilawula iyaqhubeka nokukhula kwiminyaka yethu yobutsha. Sekunjalo, ngokuziqhelanisa, ezo ndlela zobuchopho ziyaqina.
Kanye njengokuba ihlumelo elincinci likhula libe ngumthi omkhulu, i-EQ yethu ikhula ngexesha, amava, kunye nomzamo.
Sonke singayiqinisa i-EQ yethu ngokuvuma iimvakalelo zethu, ukuqonda isizathu sokuba sizive ngendlela ethile, ukuba novelwano nabanye, nokuveza iimvakalelo zethu ngeendlela eziphilileyo. Oku akuyi kwenzeka ngobusuku obunye, kodwa luhambo olufanelekileyo ukuluthatha.
Isishwankathelo kunye neeNgcebiso ezibalulekileyo
Ngoko ke, nazi iingongoma eziphambili ekufuneka uzikhumbule kwingxoxo yanamhlanje:
- Zombini i-IQ kunye ne-EQ zibalulekile ebomini: Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kukukwazi ukuqonda nokulawula iimvakalelo zakho nokuqonda abanye.
- I-EQ ingaphuhliswa: Ngokungafaniyo ne-IQ, i-EQ yinto onokuyiphucula ngomzamo oqhubekayo.
- Ziqhelise le mikhwa ukuze uphucule i-EQ yakho:
- Lumka ngeemvakalelo zakho.
- Zama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye (Uvelwano).
- Lawula iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uphendule ngobuchule.
- Khetha ngabom indlela ovakalelwa ngayo.
- I-EQ ikhula ngokuhamba kwexesha: Ifuna ixesha nokuziqhelanisa. Musa ukoyika ukuyithatha inyathelo elinye ngexesha.
Khumbula, ukuphucula ingqondo yakho yeemvakalelo akupheleli nje ekuncedeni uphile ubomi obonwabisayo nobunempumelelo ngakumbi—kukwaxhasa impilo yakho yengqondo kwaye komeleza unxibelelwano lwakho nabanye. Ngaba singaqala ukugxila koku namhlanje?
Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, i-EQ, i-EI, ubukrelekrele, iimvakalelo, impilo yengqondo, ubudlelwane, ukuzibamba, uvelwano, iNirogi Lanka
