Ngaba ukulungele ukuya elalini kuNyaka oMtsha okanye kwiKrisimesi? Ngaba ulangazelela ukuchitha iiholide ngolonwabo, uhlanganisana nosapho kunye nabahlobo bakudala, usitya ii-cookies ezimnandi ezandleni zikamama wakho? Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, xa ezi holide zisondela, usenokungaziva wonwabile, kodwa uzive uxinezelekile kwaye ulusizi. Enyanisweni, ukuba ungumntu oziva ulusizi kwaye uxinezelekile ngexesha leeholide, nokuba uhamba uhambo kusenokungaziva ngathi liphupha, kodwa njengamava othusayo akhathaza intliziyo yakho. Ngoko ke, namhlanje siza kuthetha ngendlela yokuhamba noxinzelelo oluza nezi holide.
Yintoni onokuyilindela xa uhamba uxinezelekile?
Ngokutsho kukaPhilip Maskin, uprofesa wezifo zengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseColumbia, ukuhambahamba kuchaphazela umntu ngamnye ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
Kwelinye icala, ukufudukela kwindawo entsha kunokuba luncedo kakhulu engqondweni yakho. Khawuthelekelele ukuba ukwindawo entsha, usekhefini, kwaye akufuneki uvuke ngo-6 kusasa ukuze uye eofisini. Ngale ndawo intsha, izinto ezininzi ezikubangela uxinezeleko ziya kuncipha. Ke ngoko, ungaziva ukhululekile kwiintlungu zeholide.
Kodwa kwelinye icala, ukuhamba kule mihla kuxinezeleka kakhulu kunangaphambili. Sicinga ukuba "uhambo luza kuhamba kakuhle." Kodwa akunjalo. Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka sihlale kwiindlela zedolophu iiyure ezininzi, okanye silinde kwimigca emide kwisikhululo seenqwelo-moya. Zimbalwa iinqwelo-moya kunangaphambili, kwaye nezo zikhoyo zixinene, kwaye isikhululo seenqwelo-moya sixinene kakhulu.
"Ukuhambahamba yinkqubo enkulu," utshilo uNjingalwazi Maskin. "Kunokuba nefuthe elibi kakhulu, nakumntu ongenalo uxinezeleko."
Ngamafutshane, xa udandathekile, ukunyamezela kwakho ukukhungatheka kuphantsi kakhulu. Ngoko ke, nokuba yinto encinci njengokulibaziseka kwendiza yakho kwenza kube nzima kuwe ukucinga, "Owu, yinto encinci leyo."
Uxinzelelo lweHolide: Lawula
"Nokuba uya phi na, kubalulekile ukuba ulungiselele kakuhle," utshilo ingcali yezengqondo uHelen Grusd. "Olu lungiselelo lolona nyango lwakho lubalaseleyo lokulwa noxinzelelo."
Olu lungiselelo alukho malunga nokulungiselela ukunxiba impahla. "Kufuneka ulungele ngokwengqondo. Uzinika njani amandla okulawula le meko?"
Inyathelo lokuqala kukugqiba ukuba yintoni kanye kanye injongo yohambo lwakho. "Ngaba uza kuphinda uqhagamshelane nosapho? Okanye uza kuphumla nje kwaye wonwabe?" Okulandelayo, kufuneka uhlale uzixelela oku: "Ndiza kulwenza olu hambo lube yimpumelelo."
UGrusz uthi gcina eli binzana engqondweni njengemantra. "Izinto zinokwenzeka ezingaphaya kwamandla akho. Kodwa kufuneka ulungele ukucinga, 'Ndilawula yonke into endinokuyilawula.'" Xa udandathekile, xa kukho into engahambi kakuhle, uziva ngathi awunakulawula nantoni na. Kodwa ungayibona imeko njengomceli mngeni. Emva koko unokonwabela umceli mngeni, endaweni yokuziva ngathi ulixhoba.
Ukubaluleka kokubeka iinjongo ngaphambi kokuhamba
UNjingalwazi Maskin ucebisa ukuba ubeke ezinye zeenjongo zeholide yakho. "Okokuqala, cinga ngezinto oza kuzonwabela ngolu hambo. Emva koko zibekele wena kunye nosapho lwakho iinjongo. Zibuze wena kunye neqabane lakho, 'Sifuna ntoni kolu hambo?' "
Nangona kunjalo, iinjongo ozibekele zona kufuneka zibe zezifikelelekayo. Umzekelo, ukuba uya kuloba, ngaba injongo yakho kukubamba intlanzi enkulu elwandle, okanye kukuphumla nokonwabela uhambo neqabane lakho okanye abantwana bakho? Ukuba kukho into onokuyifumana kwiholide yakho, ingakumbi ukuba yinto onokwabelana ngayo nosapho lwakho lonke, ungagxila kuloo njongo. Emva koko awuyi kuxinana nezinye izinto ezingabalulekanga kangako.
Iingenelo zokucwangcisa kwangaphambili
Kwabo banengxaki yokudakumba ngexesha leeholide, ukucwangcisa kwangaphambili kunokunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba. Ukuba uya kuhambo, cwangcisa ukwenza kube lula kangangoko kunokwenzeka, utsho ugqirha wengqondo uElaine Rodino.
- Khetha ukuhamba ngeentsuku apho abantu abaninzi bengenazo iindawo ezininzi.
- Bhukisha iinqwelomoya ngamaxesha angaxinananga kangako kwisikhululo seenqwelo-moya.
- Qaphela imozulu kwangaphambili. Buza iinkampani zeenqwelo-moya ukuba zeziphi iipolisi zazo zokubuyisela imali ukuba iinqwelo-moya zirhoxisiwe.
“Ngaloo ndlela ungakuphepha ukubhajwa kwisikhululo seenqwelo-moya iiyure ezili-18, kuba oko kunokumtyhala umntu osele edandathekile nangakumbi,” utshilo uRodino.
Kwakhona, cwangcisa ukulala kamnandi ngaphambi kohambo lwakho, utye ukutya okunesondlo , uze uphathe ukutya okulula kohambo.
Kuthekani ukuba kungaphezulu nje kokuba yi-'Holiday Blues'?
Xa ubeka iinjongo kunye nocwangciso, kubalulekile ukucinga ngolonwabo lohambo kwangethuba. "Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha abantu badandatheka kakhulu kangangokuba abakwazi nokucinga nangantoni na evuyisayo. Xa oko kusenzeka, kufanelekile ukuthetha neqabane lakho ngako," utshilo uMaskin. "Okanye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha nomhlobo osenyongweni, umcebisi wezenkolo, okanye umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo , ongugqirha wakho."
Ukuba awunakukwazi nokuyicinga into yokonwabela nantoni na, luphawu lokuba ukudakumba kwakho kunokuba yinto embi kakhulu kunokuba 'uphelelwe lixesha leeholide'. Kusenokuba kukudakumba okubangelwa sisifo sengqondo .
Ukudakumba yingxaki, kwaye kukho unyango lwayo. "Kodwa abanye abantu abafuni ukucela uncedo, bacinga ukuba luphawu lobuthathaka. Kuyoyikisa," ugxininisa uMuskin. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ukucela uncedo luphawu lobuthathaka, cinga ngale nto: Kwanabadlali ababalaseleyo emhlabeni banabaqeqeshi. Abanazintloni zokucela uncedo. Umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo , njengogqirha wakho , ungumncedi omkhulu.
Ukuba nokudakumba akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukuqhubeka. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqhubeka nokwenza izinto ezikunceda uzive ungcono. Gcina ikhadi elincinci kuwe elichaza amandla akho kunye neendlela zokumelana nemeko ozisebenzisayo ukukunceda uhlale uqinile engqondweni . Oku kungaba kukuhambahamba, ukumamela umculo, ukusela iglasi yamanzi, okanye ukuthetha nomhlobo. Jonga ikhadi rhoqo kwaye uzikhumbuze ukuba unokulawula le meko. Kwakhona, ukuba unamayeza oqhele ukuwasela, qiniseka ukuba uwathatha ngexesha .
Wenza ntoni emva kokufika kwindawo oya kuyo?
Zininzi izizathu zokuba uzive ulusizi nokuba sele ufikile kwindawo oya kuyo. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda.
Sebenzisa indlela ethi 'HALT'.
Zinike imvume yokuthi "hayi" kwizinto ongazifuniyo. Sonke sithi "ewe" kuyo yonke into kuba sifuna ukukholisa wonke umntu. Kodwa oko kukhokelela ekutshatyalalisweni. Sebenzisa igama elithi 'HALT' ukujonga rhoqo indlela ovakalelwa ngayo.
| Ileta | Intsingiselo | Oko unokukwenza |
|---|---|---|
| H - Ulambile | Ulambile? | Yitya isidlo sakusasa okanye isiqhamo. |
| A - Umsindo | Unomsindo? | Tsala umoya onzulu. Phuma kuloo ndawo okwethutyana. |
| L - Unesizungu | Uzive unesizungu? | Thetha nomntu oziva ukhululekile ukuthetha naye. |
| T - Udiniwe | Udiniwe? | Phumla kancinci. Lala kancinci. |
Xa uqaphela indlela oziva ngayo, ungathi, "Ndidiniwe kancinci, ndiza kulala okwethutyana" okanye "Andizukukwenza oku." Emva koko ungakhetha izinto ozithandayo kwaye uziphephe izinto ongazithandiyo.
Ezinye iingcebiso ezimbalwa
- Ziqhelise Ukuvuselela Ukuziphatha: Izinto ezinje ngokuvuka uhambe, ukumamela umculo, kunye nokuhleka nabantu bonke zinokunyusa imo yakho.
- Phila kwixesha langoku: Xa iintsapho zihlangana ngeeholide, iingxabano ezindala kunye neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu zinokuvela. Cinga, "Lo ngumntu olapha naye, hayi umntu owawunguye kwiminyaka engama-20 eyadlulayo." Gxila kumntu onguye ngoku.
- Lawula ukutya kwakho notywala: Iiholide zizele kukutya okumnandi neziselo. Ikhekhe likamama, iibhisikithi ezimnandi... Zixelele, "Ndiza kuzitya kancinci, kodwa hayi rhoqo." Kwakhona, lumka kakhulu malunga nokutya kwakho utywala. Utywala bunokuphazamisa ubuthongo bakho kwaye buphazamise imo yakho. Ukuba uyachacha ekuxhomekekeni kutywala, kungcono ungazibandakanyi neepati.
- Ukuzilolonga: Iiholide lixesha lokuba nobubele kuwe. Oko akuthethi ukutya kakuhle kuphela, kodwa nokuvuka kusasa wenze izinto ezifana nokubaleka okanye ukuhamba. Xa uzinyamekela ngokwasemzimbeni, neemfuno zakho zengqondo ziya kuhlangatyezwa. Ukuhamba imihla ngemihla kunokuba njengeyeza lokudakumba kwabanye abantu.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Zilungiselele ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwengqondo ngaphambi kokuba uye ekhefini. Gqiba ukuba yintoni injongo yohambo lwakho.
- Zibekele usukelo olunokufikelelwa nolunokwenzeka . Kuphephe ukuzithelekisa nabanye.
- Khumbula indlela elula efana ne -'HALT' onokuyisebenzisa xa uziva uxinezelekile.
- Ngento ongayifuniyo.Musa ukoyika ukuthi “hayi.” Yazi imida yakho.
- Nciphisa ukusela utywala, yitya kakuhle, kwaye wenze umthambo yonke imihla.
- Ukuba awuziva uvuyo, inokuba yinto enzulu ngakumbi kuneentlungu zeholide eziqhelekileyo. Kwimeko enjalo, ungaze ungathandabuzi ukubona ugqirha wakho (ugqirha) ukuze akunike ingcebiso .
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