Sonke sihlangabezana nezimo ezinhle nezimbi ebuntwaneni bethu, akunjalo? Ezinye izimo ezimbi zingathinta izimpilo zethu ngokujulile kunalokho esikucabangayo. Wake wazibuza ukuthi izehlakalo ezibuhlungu, ikakhulukazi lezo esihlangana nazo ebuntwaneni, zithinta kanjani impilo yethu nokuziphatha kwethu njengabantu abadala? Yilokho okubizwa ngokuthi "Okuhlangenwe Nakho Okubi Kwabantwana" noma ama-ACE kwezokwelapha. Lesi yisihloko esibaluleke kakhulu, ngakho ake sixoxe ngakho ngokuningiliziwe namuhla.
Yiziphi lezi zenzakalo ezibuhlungu zasebuntwaneni (ama-ACE)?
Kalula nje, ama-ACE ayizinto ezibuhlungu nezimbi ingane ebhekana nazo phakathi kweminyaka eyi-1 neyi-17.
Cabanga ngakho, ubuchopho bomntwana omncane bufana nesiponji. Bamunca konke okukuzungezile, kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo. Bafunda izinto ezifana nokuthi badla kanjani ngesipuni, ukuthi bagibela kanjani ibhayisikili, kokuhlangenwe nakho. Uma bewa ebhayisikilini labo, bafunda nokuthi kudingeka baqaphele ngesikhathi esizayo. Lokho kuvamile.
Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ingane kufanele ibhekane nezimo ezinzima kakhulu ukuba ingazilawula noma izivikele ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba. Isibonelo, ukulahlekelwa othandekayo, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi noma ngokomzimba. Lokhu yilokho esikubiza ngokuthi ama-ACE. Lezi zimo zingathinta impilo yonke yengane. Zingaholela ezinkingeni ezifana nokugula ngengqondo, ukugula ngokomzimba kwesikhathi eside, kanye nokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa . Kodwa izindaba ezinhle ukuthi lezi zimo zingaphathwa futhi zelashwe impilo yonke.
Kuyini ngempela "ukuhlukumezeka"?
Ukuhlukumezeka yisenzakalo esibangela ukucindezeleka kwengqondo okweqile noma okuhlala isikhathi eside, noma ngokwezokwelapha, "Ukucindezeleka Okunobuthi." Izehlakalo ezinjalo zingaba nomthelela omkhulu kumuntu ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Ngokuvamile, lapho ebhekene nesehlakalo esinjalo, umuntu angase abe nokwesaba okukhulu, aphelelwe amandla, kanye nomuzwa wokuba sengozini.
Nazi ezinye zezibonelo zezehlakalo ezinjalo ezibuhlungu:
| Uhlobo lomcimbi | Incazelo |
|---|---|
| Izinkinga ezihlobene nomndeni | Ukuhlukana kwabazali noma ukuhlukana kwabo, ukufa kwelungu lomndeni, ubudlova basekhaya. |
| Ukuxhashazwa nokunganakwa | Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo noma ngokocansi. Ukunganaki ingane. |
| Imicimbi ehlobene nomphakathi kanye nemvelo | Ukuxhashazwa esikoleni noma omakhelwane, izinhlekelele zemvelo, izimo zempi, noma izingozi ezinkulu. |
| Izinkinga zengqondo zempilo zomndeni | Ilungu lomndeni elihlushwa ukugula ngengqondo noma umlutha wezidakamizwa. |
Into ebalulekile ukuthi noma ngabe izingane ezimbili zivezwa esigamekweni esifanayo, ngeke zisabele kuso ngendlela efanayo. Kungaba nomthelela wesikhathi eside komunye, kuyilapho kungase kungabi nomthelela onjalo komunye.
Yiziphi izimpawu eziboniswa yingane ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okunje?
Ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, umntwana angabonisa izimpawu ezifana nalezi:
- Ukubonisa ukwesaba kwabanye.
- Ukungalali noma amaphupho amabi avamile.
- Ukuchama Embhedeni.
- Izinguquko ezingazelelwe ekuziphatheni nasemizweni.
- Ubunzima bokubonisa uthando nomndeni noma abangane.
- Ukugwema izindawo nezimo ezikukhumbuza ngesehlakalo esibuhlungu.
- Ubunzima bokugxila emsebenzini wesikole.
Lezi zimpawu zingase zingabonakali ngokushesha ngemva kwesehlakalo. Zingase zivele ezinsukwini noma emavikini kamuva.
Okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana kukuthinta kanjani ukuba umuntu omdala?
Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu ebuntwaneni kungathinta impilo yakho eminyakeni eminingi kamuva, ngisho nasekukhuleni. Lokhu kungathinta impilo yakho, ikhwalithi yokuphila, imfundo, ngisho nomsebenzi wakho.
Imiphumela ebuchosheni nasemzimbeni
Kalula nje, lapho ingane ibhekene nokushaqeka, umzimba ungaphansi kokucindezeleka okukhulu. Ngalesi sikhathi, umzimba ukhipha ama-hormone afana ne-`(Cortisol)` kanye ne-`(Adrenaline)` bese uvuselela i-`(Fight-or-Flight response)`. Lokhu kwandisa izinga lokushaya kwenhliziyo futhi kushintsha indlela yokuphefumula. Lokhu kuvame ukuba okwesikhashana.
Kodwa uma lokhu kucindezeleka kuqhubeka, okungukuthi, uma kwenzeka isimo "sokucindezeleka okunobuthi", lawa ma-hormone akhishwa njalo. Lokhu kuthinta ngqo ubuchopho bomntwana obusakhula. Ikakhulukazi, izingxenye zobuchopho ezibizwa ngokuthi "i-Hippocampus", ezihlobene nenkumbulo, "i-Prefrontal Cortex", esiza ekucabangeni okunengqondo, kanye ne-"Amygdala", elawula imizwa, zingonakala.
Cabanga ngakho, njengoba nje isitshalo sidinga inhlabathi enhle, amanzi, kanye nokukhanya kwelanga ukuze sikhule, ubuchopho bengane budinga indawo enhle kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhle ukuze kukhule. Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kufana nokhula oluvimbela lokhu kukhula.
Izinkinga ezingase zivele lapho umuntu esemdala
Ama-ACE angabangela lezi zimo ezilandelayo lapho umuntu emdala:
- Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo: Ukukhathazeka, Ukucindezeleka, Isifo Sokucindezeleka Ngemva Kokuhlukumezeka (PTSD), Ukuqwasha.
- Izinkinga zempilo yomzimba: Ukucindezeleka kwesikhathi eside okubangelwa ama-ACE kwandisa ingozi yezifo ezingathelelani njengesifo senhliziyo nomdlavuza. Izifundo zikhombisile ukuthi isikhathi sokuphila somuntu onamazinga aphezulu ama-ACE singaba mfushane ngeminyaka engama-20 kunomuntu ongenawo.
- Izinguquko zokuziphatha: ukusetshenziswa kukagwayi, ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa notshwala, ukuziphatha kocansi okuyingozi, imicabango yokuzibulala noma ukuzama ukuzibulala.
Uma wena noma othile omaziyo ecabanga ukuzibulala, sicela ubonane nodokotela ngokushesha noma uye eMnyangweni Wezimo Eziphuthumayo (ETU) wesibhedlela esiseduze. Ungalokothi unqikaze ukufuna usizo.
Ngingaluthola kanjani ukwelashwa nokusekelwa kwalesi simo?
Lena akuyona inkinga okufanele ixazululwe yodwa. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthola usizo.
1. Funa iseluleko sezokwelapha: Into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ukuhlangana nodokotela noma udokotela omethembayo bese nixoxa ngalokhu. Angakukhombisa indlela efanele.
2. Bheka umeluleki wezempilo yengqondo : Ukwelashwa kwengqondo kuyindlela yokwelapha ephumelela kakhulu kulokhu. Ngokuxoxa, ungafunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nalezi zimo ezibuhlungu.
3. Ukwelapha izimo eziyisisekelo: Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthola imithi edingekayo kanye nokwelashwa kwezimo ezinjengokukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka, noma isifo senhliziyo esibangelwa ama-ACE.
4. Njengabazali nabanakekeli:
- Sebenzisa amagama anomusa uma ukhuluma nezingane.
- Landela izindlela ezingezona ezobudlova lapho ujezisa izingane.
- Fundisa ingane yakho indlela yokuxazulula inkinga.
- Yiba isibonelo esihle enganeni yakho.
Ingabe ama-ACE angavinjelwa?
Nakuba ezinye izehlakalo ezibuhlungu (isib. izinhlekelele zemvelo) zingenakuvinjelwa, ama-ACE amaningi angavinjelwa ngokwenza indawo ezungezile ingane iphephe futhi inakekelwe.
- Dala ikhaya eliphephile nelinothando kumntwana.
- Yakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nengane yakho.
- Nakekela izidingo zomzimba nezengqondo zengane yakho.
- Uma uzizwa ucindezelekile njengomzali noma umnakekeli, funa usizo. Impilo yakho yengqondo iyisipho esingcono kakhulu ongasinika ingane yakho.
Unganqikazi ukucela usizo uma uludinga. Luwusizo olukhulu kokubili enganeni kanye nawe.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Okuhlangenwe nakho okubi kwasebuntwaneni (ama-ACE) kuvame kakhulu kunalokho ongakucabanga, futhi kungaba nemiphumela yesikhathi eside empilweni yomzimba neyengqondo lapho umuntu esekhulile.
- Uma ubona ushintsho oluzumayo ekuziphatheni kwengane (ukwesaba, izinkinga zokulala, ukungawenzi umsebenzi wesikole), khathazeka.
- Nakuba ama-ACE angathinta ukukhula kobuchopho, lezi zimo zingaphathwa ngokwelashwa nokusekelwa okufanele.
- Uma wena noma ingane yakho nibhekene nesimo esinjengalesi, sicela ningahlupheki ninodwa. Bona udokotela wakho ngokushesha ukuze uthole iseluleko.
- Into engcono kakhulu ongayinika ingane indawo ephephile, enothando, nesekelayo. Yisinyathelo esingcono kakhulu sokuvimbela izinkinga eziningi.
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