Ingabe konke kufanele kube 'Okuphelele'? Kukhona uhlangothi oluyingozi kulokhu (i-Perfectionism)

Ukhona yini umuntu omaziyo ocabanga ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenzani, kumele kube okuphelele, ngaphandle kwephutha elincane? Mhlawumbe nawe uzizwa ngendlela efanayo. Nakuba kungase kubonakale kuyinto enhle ukwenza into ethile, ngaphandle kwamaphutha, empeleni lokhu kuyinto ebangela ukucindezeleka futhi engathinta kabi izimpilo zethu. Namuhla sikhuluma ngalesi simo sengqondo sokuthi 'konke kumele kube okuphelele', okungukuthi, i-Perfectionism .

Kuyini ngempela ukuphelela?

Kalula nje, kuyisidingo esikhulu sokuba konke kuphelele, ukuphelela, nokubonwa ngabanye njengokuphelele. Kodwa lokhu kuhluke kakhulu ekuzameni ukwenza konke okusemandleni akho. Ukuzama ukwenza konke okusemandleni akho kunempilo. Kodwa ukufuna ukuphelela kuyisimo sengqondo esibi lapho uzibeka khona ingcindezi, uzibekele imigomo engenakwenzeka, bese ucindezeleka uma ungayifinyeleli.

Kunezinhlobo ezimbili eziyinhloko zokufuna ukuphelela. Zombili zibeka izindinganiso eziphakeme. Kodwa abantu abafuna ukuphelela ngendlela engafanele babhekana nokucindezeleka okukhulu lapho behluleka ukufeza leyo migomo.

Ngokusho kocwaningo , lesi simo siqukethe izingxenye ezintathu:

• Ukuzicabangela Ukuphelela: Ukulindela ukuphelela kuwe.
• Ukuphelela Okuqondiswe Kwabanye: Ukulindela ukuphelela kulabo abakuzungezile (umndeni, abangani, abasebenzi).
• Ukufuna Ukuphelela Okunqunyelwe Yinhlalo: Ukuphikelela ngaphansi kwengcindezi evela emphakathini noma kwabanye ukuze ube ophelele.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uluhlobo luni, uzibekela imithetho eqinile neqinile. Lokhu kwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokuhle. Ake sibone ukuthi iyini.

1. Ukuhlehlisa izinto kanye nokwehla kokukhiqiza

Kuyamangaza ukuthi abantu abazama ukwenza konke kahle nangokuphelele bavame ukulibala. Lokho kusho ukuthi abakhiqizi kahle. Kungani kunjalo?

Cabanga ukuthi unephrojekthi enkulu okufanele uyenze. Njengomuntu ofuna ukuphelela, uhlela ukuyenza kahle ngokuphelele, ngisho nasemininingwaneni emincane kakhulu. Kodwa ingcindezi yokuthi kufanele ibe ephelele kangakanani ikwenza wesabe ukuqala iphrojekthi. Ucabanga ukuthi, "O, angisoze ngaba ephelele njengoba ngicabanga," bese uhlehlisa ukuqala iphrojekthi kuze kube sekupheleni.

2. Ubuthakathaka bengqondo kanye nokucindezeleka okwandisiwe

Njengomuntu ofuna ukuphelela, uthwala ingcindezi enkulu emahlombe akho. Lokhu kungaba ukuzibangela wena, noma kungaba yinto ocabanga ukuthi ivela emphakathini. Lokhu kucindezela ngokweqile kungakwenza ube buthakathaka kakhulu ngokwengqondo. Lokhu kuvula umnyango wezinye izinkinga eziningi zengqondo.

Ezinye zazo yilezi:

• Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka
• Imicabango yokuzibulala
• Isizungu
• Ukungabekezeli nokukhungatheka
• Intukuthelo
• Ukuzikhukhumeza ngokweqile kanye nokuphoqelela

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungase ube sengozini yesimo esibizwa ngokuthi i-Imposter Syndrome . Yilapho uzizwa sengathi, "Angifanele lesi sikhundla, lo msebenzi, lobuhlobo. Angilungile njengabanye. Ngikhohlisa abantu." Le micabango ingaphazamisa nekhono lakho lokwenza kahle emsebenzini noma ezifundweni zakho.

3. Ukukhathazeka Nokucindezeleka

Kukhona ubudlelwano obuseduze kakhulu phakathi kokufuna ukuphelela kanye nokukhathazeka/ukucindezeleka. Uma wehluleka ukuhlangabezana nezindinganiso eziphakeme ozibekele zona, ingcindezi nokucindezeleka ozizwayo kungaholela ekukhathazekeni. Uma lesi simo siqhubeka, singakhula sibe ukucindezeleka.

Abanye abantu ababonisi le mizwa ngaphandle. Bafihla ukukhathazeka kwabo, ukudabuka, nokukhungatheka, bese bemomotheka 'okuphelele'. Lesi yisimo esiyingozi kakhulu. Ngoba noma ngabe ukhungathekile ngempilo futhi unemicabango yokuzibulala, akekho owaziyo ngakho. Ungase uzizwe ungelutho.

Uma uzizwa ngale mizwa, sicela ungahlupheki wedwa. Khuluma nomuntu omethembayo. Noma nakanjani bonana nodokotela wakho nixoxe ngalokhu.

4. Izinkinga zempilo yomzimba

Lokhu kucindezeleka kungathinta nomzimba. Abanye abantu bangaba nezinkinga zokudla. Isibonelo yi -Orthorexia Nervosa . Lokhu kwenzeka lapho umuntu enemithetho eqinile neqinile ngalokho akudlayo nakuphuzayo, futhi ezizwa enecala elikhulu nokucindezeleka uma ephambuka ngisho nakancane kuleyo ndlela yokudla.

Lesi sidingo esinamandla sokulawula yonke into empilweni ngezinye izikhathi singaholela ku-Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).Kungakhula futhi kube yisifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuthi ukuphelela. Ukuphelela kuyisifiso esinamandla sokulawula. Uma lokho kulawula kulahleka, kungavela ezinye izinkinga zengqondo.

5. Ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwano babantu

Esinye isiphetho esibi kakhulu ukucindezeleka ebuhlotsheni bakho nomndeni wakho, umlingani wakho, kanye nabangani. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma ulindele izindinganiso 'eziphelele' eziphakeme kwabanye ozilindele kuwe, lapho kuvela khona izinkinga.

Ungase uthole amaphutha ngisho nasezintweni ezincane kakhulu ezenziwa umlingani wakho. Ungase ube nokulindela okungenakwenzeka ezinganeni zakho. Ungase unganeliseki ngomsebenzi abanye abawenzayo emsebenzini. Lokhu kungabeka ingcindezi enkulu kulabo abakuzungezile futhi kubenze baziqhelelanise nawe. Lokhu akukuhle kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano.

6. Ukungakwazi ukuphila esikhathini samanje

Ingqondo yomuntu othanda ukuphelela ihlala isebenza. Awukho esikhathini samanje, usekhanda lakho. Ukhononda ngento eyenzekile esikhathini esidlule ("Ukube nje bengikwenze kangcono kancane..."), noma uhlela ukuthi ungayenza kanjani into ephelele esikhathini esizayo.

Lokhu kubangela ukuthi ulahlekelwe yinjabulo nokuthula kwalesi sikhathi samanje. Uma ukhuluma nomngane, uchitha isikhathi nomndeni, noma uvakashela indawo enhle, ingqondo yakho ayikho lapho. Lokhu kukwenza uzizwe unesizungu futhi ukhungathekile.